A/N: So here is the 1st real Chapter. It's short, but it kind of goes with the Prologue. They get longer, Promise. I just got another chapter written, so I have 3 more to post. Every time I post I'm going to write another chapter before I post agian. To keep it all up. Edward isn't coming in to play yet. Bella needs to get there first. Review please, helps me write quicker. And tell me about any mistakes.
"Bella? Honey are you awake?" I woke up to my moms low knock on my door.
"Shit! Move Bella!" Phil whispered harshly, pushing me over on the other side of the bed. He stumbled around, pulling all his clothes off the floor before bolting into my closet.
"Yeah mom, I'm awake." I muttered, pulling the comforter over my naked form.
She entered my room, which really annoyed me. Had I given her permission to enter? No. Did she ask? NO! Just because I'm awake doesn't mean you are free to enter whenever you please mother! Maybe I don't want to talk to you. Maybe I hate you for your choice in men, and lack of being able to see what's right in front of you!
"Hun, have you seen Phil? I looked everywhere for him." She looked curiously at my half closed closet. YES MOM! Look inside of it! See what's going on! It's your subconscious, you know already.
"Uhm, yeah. I think he walked down to the store. Something about donuts." I murmured.
"Oh okay. Well I just got back from Marge's, whew! We passed out on the couch, exhausted. Old women shouldn't go out drinking Martini's all night." She giggled.
That, right there, is when I decided my mother was completely unfit. She was not supposed to be a mother. I decided in that moment that I officially hated her. She went out and got wasted, while I got to be abused and defiled and degraded. I was not the one that should have been with Phil last night, but she went out. So I had to take her place. I swore in that moment, whenever she was out having a good time, I would be gone to. She was so oblivious. It was right in front of her damn face! For years. She had to see it, to know, to feel it, after all this fucking time. But if she did, she didn't care. I was her stand in. Not her daughter. She was not a mother. She was not MY mother. She was a fucking twit that should have been barren. I should have gone to some other couple who would take care of kids right.
"Something wrong Bella?" she spoke.
"No mom, why would something be wrong?" You just get to go party with friends while I get raped by your husband, what's wrong with that?
"Oh Okay! You just had this look, maybe you need more sleep." She concluded.
Ditz. I told you.
She closed my door, and I waited a few minutes until I heard the shower running full blast and then collapsed back onto the bed. The ceiling caught my interest. I slightly heard my closet door open before Phil overtook my vision.
"Bella. I'll make you come someday. Just wait." He traced my jaw lightly.
"No. Never."
"Why not Bella! You do you fight it so hard? It's sex!" He tightened his grip on my jaw.
I tore away from his grip hopping out of bed, wrapping the sheets around me. "It's not sex. It's rape." I replied simply before opening my door, motioning with my hand for him to get out.
He stormed over to me hand raised and ready.
"Mom will be done in a few minutes, and you still have to get donuts. I suggest you don't do that." I whispered dangerously.
His hand fell as quickly as it had come up. He huffed before walking down the hall. "Just you wait Isabella. You'll learn to love it."
I snorted. It's been 3 years. I doubt I'd learn to love it if I hadn't already. I would never love it. I couldn't. I was a virgin in my mind. I had never willingly given my body to anyone, so in my opinion, I was untouched, a holy virgin, pure. If I had an...orgasm...that would change things.
Slowly I walked towards my dresser, pulling out a white bra and boy-shorts. After I dressed in those, I pulled out a pair of black yoga pants and a pink tank. Before opening the door, I pulled out my pink and black zebra case and stuffed it in my pocket.
"Where are you going?" My mom shouted at me as I bound threw the front door. I didn't bother with an answer. Why should I anymore? I ran about a mile down the street until I found the turn that led into a small patch of trees. Behind those trees sat an all to familiar green picnic table.
I thrust my case onto the table, quickly opening it. Bag of coke, razor blade. Perfect. I slowly cut the coke up, making a massive rock star line on the table. Yes! This is what I needed. Okay, where did I put those tampons? UNDER THE TABLE! I quickly dove for the box of Tampax I kept hidden at the site.
I tore off the tube and stuck it to the coke, snorting, letting the fine crystals work their way up into my nose. I started feeling the effects. I was dizzy, and high, and oh so so happy. Numb. I slowly fished my finger into the baggy , swiping any extra coke, and bringing to my mouth. It instantly numbed my gums.
ahhhh, sweet escape.
