Ianto Jones prided himself on knowing absolutely everything there was to know about Torchwood 3. So when he started noticing the team talking in low voices and abruptly ending conversations whenever he was around, Ianto became determined to find out what was up. Ianto did not like surprises.

But every attempt he made to find out what was going on was met with dead ends. Ianto decided that his sleuthing wasn't going to get him anywhere. He was going to have try more direct approaches. Interrogating Owen would obviously be useless, and Jack was a master at obfuscation, though Ianto reckoned he'd be able to break him down with some particularly judicious tactics if it came to that. Tosh was far too good at diversions for Ianto to get any really useful intel, he knew that well enough. Gwen… Gwen, however, would cave within moments.

Only the best he managed to get from even Gwen was those bloody puppy-dog eyes that tipped him off that something was most assuredly on, but that was all. Ianto spent the next two weeks hyper-vigilant and suspicious of everything he didn't do entirely himself.


"Well, hello there, handsome," Jack purred, wrapping his arms around Ianto from behind.

"Good afternoon," Ianto said with a huff.

Jack pouted, tightened his hold, and kissed Ianto's neck. "I was hoping for something more like, 'Ooh, take me now, you sexy devil!'"

"I know you're unfamiliar with the concept, but what I'm doing just now? It's called 'work.'"

Jack's pout deepened. "You're mad at me."

"I am not, I am simply focused on my task."

"And you're mad at me."

Ianto sighed loudly. "If I am annoyed with you, it's primarily because you are making it rather impossible for me to carry out my work."

"Yeah, at the moment, but that doesn't explain why you've been the same way all week."

Ianto shoved shut the file drawer he was sorting, giving up on Jack taking his subtle hints. "Jack, you and the rest of the team are keeping something from me and I'm beginning to feel like a fool. I really don't give a toss whatever you all are planning, but if it involves me, I would genuinely appreciate it coming to swift and immediate end. I do not like practical jokes, and, quite frankly, my patience and nerves are wafer-thin this time of year anyway. So leave me out of it, yeah?"

Jack let go of Ianto and took a step back. "I'm sorry," he said sincerely, laying a hand on Ianto's shoulder. "We really weren't playing any jokes on you, I promise. And we didn't mean to leave you out. You just… well, you said you didn't like Christmas very much, so I figured you didn't want to be involved. That's all."

Ianto gave him a dubious look, but seemed to accept Jack's apology.

Jack pulled him in for a kiss. "Ok, I'll let you work. No interruptions… unless the Weevils disagree."

Ianto rolled his eyes. "Thank you."

"Yan?" Jack asked as he started back up to the Hub from Ianto's archives.

"What now?"

"Can I still give you a present?"

Ianto had to laugh. Jack sounded just like a little kid. "Fine. Just… make it tasteful, yeah?"

"Sure," Jack grinned.