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The scenario unfolded in Tooru's mind like a script. He'd been through countless situations like these before. It wasn't too long ago when he'd encounter such confessions on a weekly basis. Since he left school, Tooru had broadened his outlook and attended a very popular university. Suddenly the system, the routine and all the lessons he learnt from Fujimori seemed irrelevant. The all-boys school was merely a microcosm of much greater things. Everything taken from his experience there was reflected on a larger scale. He would act disinterested whenever rumours used to spread about his male classmates approaching the elite of beautiful women, he knew it was to be expected. He strived to focus on taking good care of himself so he needn't become a burden on anyone, and concentrated on his studying for the most part. Yet, whether he liked it or not, Tooru was still on the more attractive end of the scale even amongst a larger number of people. It wasn't too uncommon for him to have a following of admirers who would regularly confess. He was used to the attention, but he couldn't help but start to loathe it. He merely continued responding the only way he knew how – with a graceful, polite and modest decline. It was easy and effortless for him by now.
But, in this instance, it didn't feel right to just give Mikoto his well-rehearsed declination. It wasn't as if Mikoto's efforts – an invite out and the delivery of a letter, were anything spectacularly different from what Tooru had received in the past. Although there was something about the expectant gaze emitted from those rosy eyes across the table that left him feeling rather indecisive as to what to say on the matter.
"Uhh…Mikoto?" He couldn't tell what facial expression he was pulling, but he was aware that his awkwardness towards the situation must have showed. The air around him thickened slightly, and there was a feeling of pressure across his chest.
"W-what?" Those eyes across from him flickered in a confused blink.
"Umm…" Tooru allowed a nervous laugh to escape his lips. "I'm honestly flattered, but…" But he couldn't continue his usual speech.
"Well, I'd be pleased if you could accept it, I don't really want to be the only one…but even I feel a little unsure…s-so don't worry about it." Mikoto let out a quiet sigh. Was he disappointed in his answer? Tooru felt even more confused – why was he concerned when it wasn't too long ago when his rejections would send both men and women alike into despair?
"I…I'm afraid I can't really say…" The atmosphere around Tooru began to grow heavier. Something about this wasn't right – he was used to these situations, why was he feeling so uneasy now of all times?
"Oh…well I understand. Everyone has other priorities these days other than things like this…I guess it's like that for you huh?" Tooru caught a hint of disappointment in the other man's voice. But the reality couldn't be far different. Mikoto let out another sigh, in relief, which was mis-interpreted in Tooru's mind. "If you don't want to do that…then I won't force you into it. If that's the case then I'll…" He smiled slightly, his dusky pink fringe swaying slightly above his perked eyebrows. "…Then I guess it doesn't matter and you can forget about it."
That's when a slither of light was shed on Tooru's own emotions. A small pang infiltrated through him…it could only be the oppressive feeling of guilt striking. He could've sworn that with those words, the sigh and smile of secret disappointment, he'd most definitely hurt his old friend. It wasn't enjoyable in the least.
He took a deep breath and tried to act reasonable despite how he was feeling.
"I can't just forget. I know you've gotten back in touch, invited me here and given this to me because of how you feel. I'm just surprised, but I'm sorry Mikoto…" Tooru allowed his teeth to gently scrape his lower lip. He apologised. There was nothing more to feel bad about. No reason to be any more emotional about it if it could be helped.
A low laugh emerged from the opposite side, a soft hand lifting the coffee cup away from its place on the table once again. "Wh-what are you talking about Kouno-san? I didn't invite you here because of…w-wait, how I feel?" The cup remained in Mikoto's hand, almost floating in the air.
"Well, yes…I mean receiving a love letter from you is kind of…completely unexpected. T-this is what you wanted to talk to me about right?" Tooru began to sound unconvinced. It was possible that Mikoto was just trying to move away from the letter and pretend it never happened, but then there was that name again…Kouno-san. Was he being extra polite to try and be in his favour? Or…was he showing that they were more distant? None of it made much sense.
But Mikoto's reaction made it obvious enough.
"A….a love letter?" The coffee swirled around, close to becoming a second spillage. Thankfully, it was placed carefully back down, its owner not paying much attention to it. As per usual, Mikoto was only attracting more unwanted attention to himself once again. The surrounding tables in the café seemed to have hushed. He noticed the slight decrease in volume, his dewy pink eyes cast back towards Tooru's direction, yet unable to face him, his cheeks turning a matching shade. "Wh-what even gave you that idea? " He looked away, his eyes continually shifting uncomfortably. "It's just an invitation! Haven't you opened it?"
Tooru's grip on the decorated, unopened envelope loosened. He was wrong. He'd jumped to conclusions. He wasn't too afraid of making a fool of himself, but it was still embarrassing nonetheless. He knew he should've felt relieved.
"Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't open it, I just assumed…" His fingers slid down the gold borders either side. His grasp on the envelope completely relaxed. Yet the strike of guilt he felt mere moments ago still pinched his insides tight.
"A-assumed? How could you assume something like that? I'd expect that from Yuujiro these days, but you…" A glimpse of distaste passed over Mikoto's gentle, pronounced face, his voice lowered. "…It's just an invitation. It might be weird to explain b-but the best way is to open it and see for yourself."
A fancy invitation from Mikoto…Tooru's mind raced, blanking the mention of his other lost friend almost entirely. It could only be a wedding invitation, and if that was the case he had made even more of a mistake than he realised.
"Oh! I'm so sorry! I see what this is now…how are things with you and Megumi? Is she well?" He tried his best at his usual polite smile, the strain of turbulent emotions kept internally.
Mikoto's expression darkened. That wasn't a name he had expected to hear. Memories of her were brought back into his mind. Megumi had become a person he had tried to forget. But most of all, it was that graceful "princess smile" that left him feeling distraught.
Not wanting to go into details, he closed his briefcase and held onto it.
"It's none of your business." He murmured, aware that the café hadn't returned to its rhythmic relaxing drone. Tooru watched in confusion as he stood, hitching on a creased blazer. "Well. I only came here to give that to you. So…I guess it was nice seeing you again."
Mikoto looked to the floor as he stepped away from the table. "Until next time, Kouno-san." Was his last utterance as he left their aromatic meeting place.
