Derek stepped out of the emergency room, defeated.
There was no way they could have saved that emergency patient. It was already too late by the time the ambulance had gotten to the accident scene, and by the time it had brought the patient to Caduceus, the vitals had dropped down to only 10.
He knew he had to try though. He knew he could save him. He had the healing touch.
But there was too much damage. As soon as one thing was fixed, something else would cause problems, and the process kept repeating itself until the patient's body couldn't handle all the strain of the operation.
He walked into his office and stood in the middle of the vast space, staring at the wall. His eyes were blank, and his thoughts were somehow quiet for once. He couldn't help but think that maybe him thinking about what he had to say to Angie had somehow distracted him from the operation.
He dropped his gaze to the floor, clenching his fists.
Why? Why did he have to lose that patient? He knew he could save them. He could save anybody. He defeated GUILT. But then why did he lose this emergency patient? He wanted to blame the ambulance; he wanted to blame the man that pushed this poor victim down onto the tracks, but no. He couldn't. This was all on him, and he knew it.
And so did Angie.
Angie stormed into his office, closing the door violently behind her. Her steps lacked the professionalism that they normally carried and now sounded like thunder with each footfall, especially since the Doctor's mind was completely devoid of thought, for once.
The silence was worse than the screaming, fighting thoughts, in his opinion. Silence bred uncertainty, when in the wrong environment.
Angie huffed, crossing her arms. She stopped right behind him, waiting for him to turn around. He didn't.
"Well?" she asked impatiently, throwing her arms down to her sides. "What was that, Doctor?" she hissed, more impatiently than before.
The Doctor looked up from the floor, but stared straight at the wall in front of him. He could feel Angie's intensity from behind him, he could feel her irritation radiating off of her.
"Angie, please." He sighed, his words lacking any emotion at all.
"Don't 'Angie, please,' me! You're a doctor, Derek! You could have saved that patient if you really wanted to! What were you thinking?" She began to shout, her face turning pink from anger.
Derek turned around, glaring at her.
"Nurse Thompson." He began, surprising Angie with the acidity of his voice, let alone the fact that he used her last name. "You can be mad at me all you want for losing a patient, but don't you dare, ever, question my desire to try to save patients."
Angie's surprise slowly turned into frustration as she glared right back at him. She clenched her fists, stepping towards him. "Then why didn't you save him?"
"What did you want me to do? Will my life away into his body? Angie, I can only save so many. He was beyond the point of being able to be saved when he was brought into the ER. And how dare you accuse me of losing the patient?"
Angie's eyes narrowed, "What exactly are you suggesting, Dr. Stiles?" she spat.
"It was just as much my fault as it was yours losing the patient. Being a nurse doesn't give you the right to criticize everything a doctor does, right or wrong. It shouldn't give you the audacity to think that you're any better than me just because you weren't the one conducting the surgery yourself. You want to call the shots? Do you want to do everything that you say I'm doing wrong? Because, frankly Angie, I don't give a damn." By the end of his rant, he was almost yelling, the blood rushing to his face.
Angie just stood there, frozen. She stared at the Doctor, who was now pacing back and forth, with wide eyes. She had never seen him so angry, or ever witnessed such extreme emotion from him, especially towards her. After she registered the words that he so boldly threw at her, her eyes narrowed even more, and she stood with her feet apart, taking deep breaths.
"Dr. Stiles, I can't believe-"
"Believe what, Angie?" He cut her off, throwing a death glare her way, "Believe that I could think this was your fault? Are you really so far up on your high horse that you can't see that this is your fault, too? You're quick to judge others, but when it comes to judging yourself, and taking responsibility for something you did wrong, you believe that you're such a saint that it wasn't your fault." He swiped his arm through the air violently, accidentally knocking folders off of his desk.
He stormed past her towards the door. He stopped, his hand resting on the door handle, and sighed. "Get over yourself, Angie." He spat, walking out of the office and slamming the door behind him.
Angie stood there, stunned. This time, the anger didn't come back. She knew he was right. She knew that every time she messed up, she blamed it on someone else, and that someone else almost always just so happened to be none other than Doctor Stiles. He was the doctor of course, and it was his prime responsibility to take care of the patients and make sure he saved as many as he possibly could.
But she knew it was also her responsibility.
Derek walked back into his office, late at night. The clock had just struck eleven, and most of the doctors were getting ready to leave or were on their way out. Of course, some would stay for the night shift, just in case of emergencies, but most everybody had been working harder than usual for the last couple days, for one reason or another.
He felt bad for his outburst at Angie earlier that day. He especially felt bad about the comment he had left with her before storming out of his office. Get over yourself, Angie. That's what he had said to her. How could he have been so irrational as to say something as careless as that? He knew he had to apologize, again. But how?
He walked up to his desk to see that all of the folders he had knocked onto the floor earlier were in perfect order, in a pile on his desk where he usually put the finished paperwork. He looked curiously at the top of the pile to see a note, in Angie's handwriting.
Dr. Stiles-
I'm sorry for my behavior earlier. You had every right to yell at me, I was being selfish. I don't know if you'll choose to forgive me or not, and if you don't I'll understand. If you need anything, I'm with Leslie finishing up our rounds.
-Angie
He sighed. He knew he had to go find her and apologize in person. He walked across their office briskly, taking large strides. He opened the door quickly, storming briskly into the hallway, when he came face-to-face with someone he hoped was Angie. It would have made his search a lot easier, and put his mind at ease a lot quicker.
Of course, everything that had happened that day was terribly unexpected.
And this was no exception.
OH GOSH DRAMAAAAA!
Haha I actually had fun writing this chapter. It's sometimes fun to have people yell at each other, it's dramatic hehe. xD
I hope everyone likes this as much as the first chapter! And I hope you'll continue reading!
Reviews are always welcome, I need my inspiration from some place besides the Tron soundtrack, ya' know? :)
