"Hanna, what are you doing here? I thought you were going out of town or something today." Ana's voice trembled as she spoke, only now feeling the ache of the slash in her arm. Casually opening the door wider and leaning against it, she tilted her head and raised an eyebrow at Hanna.
Though it was still November, the streets of New York were lined with snow. The majority of Hanna's long black hair was tucked underneath her Boston Bruins hat and her purple jacket hood, but there was one stubborn strand that hung directly in between her eyebrows. Hanna wore her favourite pair of ripped grey jeans and boots that Ana didn't recognize. Probably new, She thought enviously; Hanna's mother worked in the Empire State building while her father was the CEO of some huge company. Even though she was very wealthy, Hanna dressed like everybody else did at their school. Ana could already guess that Hanna had on, underneath her jacket and sweater, her favourite red crop top that displayed her flat stomach and belly piercing perfectly.
Ana glanced down at her feet, taking note of how her stomach stuck out more than Hanna's did, and how wobbly her knees looked. She wanted to look skinny, not scrawny. Her feet were abnormally long as well; she already wore a size 10 in shoes. And not to mention her clothing size! A large, Ana thought sadly, trying not to show it on her face. She suddenly had the urge to cut her wrists again, but resisted, as Hanna was here now.
"I was wondering if ya wanted to go to the mall with me for a bit." Hanna said suddenly, snapping Ana out of the small daze she fell in. Ana tried her best to look excited, but she had no interest in shopping. It was probably the last thing she wanted to do right now. But still, she nodded her head as enthusiastically as possible; pleasing people was something she was very good at, though she could never please herself. "Great!" Hanna beamed, pushing past her and kicking her boots off onto the small grey matt that lay on the ground directly in front of the door.
Ana took a step backwards, stumbling to catch her balance. "Careful there," Hanna chuckled as she began to remove her winter gear. Ana sighed softly and shut the door, turning the lock. When she turned to face Hanna, she saw that her jacket, scarf, hat, and sweater piled up on the floor. Slightly irritated by how her friend suddenly barged in to her home, Ana asked, "Uh, I thought we were gonna go to the mall. Why are you taking all your stuff off?"
Hanna leaned against the kitchen table, pulling her phone out of her back pocket. "Well, yeah, we are. But you're not going looking like that!" Hanna snickered, her eyes scanning Ana up and down. Ana bit her bottom lip, greatly hurt by this, but she played it off by letting out a humourless giggle and muttering, "Yeah, you're totally right, Han." Tears formed in her eyes, but Ana pinched the side of her leg, telling herself that she was just being sensitive and that Hanna was only joking with her. "Um, what should I wear?"
Hanna tilted her head from side to side playfully, her black hair falling like a curtain. "Well, there's that black dress that shows off your curves..." Ana sucked in her breath; the dress was sleeveless, and Hanna would be able to see her arm if she wore it. "But it's kinda cold for that." Ana breathed in relief, walking over to Hanna and standing beside her. "So why don't we just go up to your closet and pick something out?" Hanna placed a hand on Ana's shoulder, causing her to jump in relief. "Whoa, calm down honey!" Hanna giggled, pulling Ana close to her. She was stiff like a board but relaxed when Hanna planted a kiss on her cheek.
Ana led Hanna up the staircase, turning left and right here and there. She really didn't want to go to the mall, but if she declined, Hanna would know that something was wrong and would immediately start asking questions, which was something Ana did not want to deal with right at the moment. "And here is my humble room," Ana giggled like the popular girl she was supposed to be and flipped her hair over her shoulder. I should be an actress one day, Ana thought proudly, letting Hanna step inside her bedroom. That way, I'm fooling people and getting paid for it.
As Hanna began rummaging loudly through her closet, Ana sat on the bed, hugging her knees to her chest. She really didn't want to go to the mall, not at all, actually, but people would make assumptions if she didn't. Her eyes began surveying her bedroom. The walls were yellow, as they were when Ana was three years old. On nights where she couldn't fall asleep, Ana would stare at a spot on the wall where the paint was chipping and cracked and the original white paint was visible. There was one spot in particular that she usually picked at, as it was the most noticeable.
"What about this?" Hanna squealed, startling Ana out of her thoughts. She glanced up at her friend, who looked very excited. In her hands was Ana's least favourite shirt. It was long sleeved - Thank God, she thought - and was a dark shade of blue, almost looking green. There was nothing wrong with it appearance - wise. Ana didn't like it because it was a gift from her aunt, who had been the one to encourage her mother to file a divorce.
Ana clenched her hands into fists and forced a grin. "Han, you always know what to wear." She let out a small giggle when Hanna squealed again, jumping up and down like a little girl. "Do I need to change my pants too?" Ana didn't want to have to wear skinny jeans and was hoping the answer was no.
"Uh, duh!" Hanna tossed Ana the shirt. "I have to pee. Be right back!" She scurried out of the room, leaving a teary-eyed Ana sitting on the bed clutching a shirt she didn't even like.
Then again, Ana didn't really like anything.
