Author's Note: Guys, you are wonderful! Thank you so much for all the kind words, I'm overwhelmed. I hope you enjoy this continuation of the story. I don't know exactly how long it will be yet, but I hope you stay tuned.

Reviews are always welcome.

Disclaimer: The Force knows I don't own a thing.


Chapter 2

And take my past

And take my sense,

Like an empty sail takes the wind

And heal, heal, heal, heal

Heal, Tom Odell

Ben lay on his stomach, relaxed as he had barely been during the last couple of years. He breathed calmly as her delicate fingers slowly stroke his bare skin.

"What's with this one?" She stopped at a small scar on his right shoulder and placed a soft kiss on it.

He smiled to himself, memories overfloating him. "Have that one since forever." He answered, his deep voice echoing in the dark. "My mother told me that when I was born Chewie…" he hesitated, he hadn't said that affectionate nickname for too long and he didn't dare to think about his father's best friend ever since that fateful night on the bridge. "Chewie was so eager to hold me that he accidentally scratched me." Relationships he had long tried to forget kept crawling back into his mind, memories buried deep resurfaced. He wasn't sure if that was because of the Force or because of Rey, but in the end, it didn't matter. He knew he couldn't run from this forever. His decisions were his, Snoke in his mind or not, he couldn't take back what he had done, he would carry the knowledge, the burden forever, but he could at least face it and take responsibility no matter how much it hurt.

Rey laughed lightly. She couldn't imagine Chewbacca holding a baby, but something about it seemed strangely adorable. There had been a time before all of this. Before the First Order, before the Resistance, before little Ben Solo realized what hurt and betrayal meant. Sometimes she wished the Force would allow her a peek into this past, but hearing it from Ben, knowing he trusted her with it was a gift she would always be grateful for.

"And this one?" She lifted his arm up. Right under his left hand was another scar, tiny yet deep.

"This?" He took a deep breath. "I was five or six and I…" he chuckled, "I was bored while my parents and uncle were in a meeting. I was told to sit tight and not to do anything but…I started to snoop through Luke's stuff." He closed his eyes. Images from days gone by went through his head like an old movie. "I accidentally activated the lightsaber."

Rey gasped. "No!"

"Not my most glorious moment." He admitted. Even back then the Force was strong within him and going back to the moment he always swore that the lightsaber called to him. "I lost control and…If Luke hadn't shown up I doubt I still had my hand." He sometimes wondered if that moment was a pivotal sign he would go into a different direction than other Skywalkers, after all losing a hand seemed to be almost fate in their family.

"You could have died." She said with that voice made of sugar and velvet and nothing but compassion.

"Maybe that would have been –"

"Don't you even think that!" She snapped, even before he could have finished that dark thought.

They were silent for a moment. He was glad it was dark and she could not see his face. Sometimes dark thoughts would cloud his mind. They clouded him for almost his entire life. He felt like an outsider, worthless, conflicted. It was a part why he let Snoke in, why he let him guide him down a path of blood and death. Yet here she was, like a beacon shining brightly, smiling at him, being kind to him, kissing him, giving her all to him. If that was his salvation, he gladly took it, no matter how long it lasted.

Her hands went over his back, down the lower part and hips. He felt her hair tickling over his skin. He felt her hands running over the scars he always tried to hide, tried to ignore. Deep, burning, still painful.

"He did this to you." She said with so much hatred in her voice. It scared him she was capable of those feelings too.

"Yes." He answered with heaviness.

She leaned down, placing soft kisses on every scar. "I hope wherever he is now, he is being punished for this."

He didn't tell her much about his time with Snoke. Whenever she tried to mention it he flinched with a painful expression on his face. Snoke did not just get inside his head, so much was clear to her. He broke his mind and body.

"He called it training." He could still feel the lighting burning his flesh, feel sharp objects hitting him from every side, Snoke's cruel face, his lips twisted into a disturbing smile.

"That's not training." She said, "That's abuse."

She was right, of course she was right. But at the time it was easier to accept physical pain from Snoke than the hurt over his Uncle's betrayal. Over his father not going after him. Over the tears he caused his mother.

"Ben Solo is dead." He said into the dark. "That's what he told me the night I joined him. I killed innocences in my rage and arrogance and no one would forgive me. They would kill me regardless, so I can die right on the spot and be reborn as Kylo Ren."

He felt her cheek on his, her warmth surrounding him. "You can't change the past, but you can still change the future."

All of sudden he flipped them around. He was hovering over her, pinning her softly down into the mattress.

He lowered his head nipping at her earlobe. "What about this one?" He softly touched a small scar behind her ear. She understood, it was his turn now.

"I was stealing food from a trader on Jakku. He threw rocks at me." Her scars were not as deep as his, but still the memories of her childhood remained painful. Loneliness and fear and the silent wish for her parents to came back to her, for some great destiny although she always kind of knew that the truth was bleak.

His whole body tensed. He knew she had been through a lot, but listening to her describing how people hurt her made is blood boil. It was moments like this he gladly embraced the call of the dark side. He wanted to hurt everyone who ever dared to touch her, who ever dared to hurt her and he wasn't sorry for that.

"Ben, it's fine." She said quietly. She felt the anger inside of him. "I'm here now, I'm good."

He said nothing. Instead he placed a small kiss on her nose, her lips, her neck, collarbone, between her breasts, over her navel.

She moaned softly.

His hands slowly pulled her legs apart. He placed another kiss on her left thigh. "And this one?" She had a long scar there, much deeper than the other one.

She laughed lightly. "That was my not so glorious moment." Her hand went through his soft black hair. "I was looking through some junk and I climbed on this huge pile of it trying to grab something useful and I…I lost balance and I ripped my leg at something. I was so dizzy afterwards, I thought I would bleed out. But somehow, I managed to get back home and patch myself up. I couldn't walk for a week afterwards."

He looked up, amazed by her strength. She had been through so much in her life already and, yet she never lost hope and still managed to smile through it.

She covered his face with her hands to bring him up to her again. Her hand lingered on the scar covering his face and chest. "This one's on me."

"You had no choice." He never blamed her for the scar she had given him. In a strange way he was even proud of it.

She softly kissed the scar. "I never asked, but did you let me win that day?"

He raised an eyebrow. "I was injured, you had the advantage." He stated as a matter of fact.

"You could have easily pushed me off that cliff, using the force." That night in the forest never really came up between them, but a part of her always wondered.

"Well…" He rubbed his nose against hers, making her giggle in the process. "I never wanted to kill you. I wanted you to join me."

"But why?"

He sighed. She was never going to let this one go. One thing he learned about Rey during these past few months, she was even more stubborn than him. Whatever Rey wanted, she was going to get it and he was a hopeless fool around her. "I was intrigued the moment I have seen you in the woods." He confessed.

"I wanted to kill you." That seemed like a lifetime ago. "How can you be intrigued by someone who wants to kill you? Because you felt the Force?"

He laughed and shook his head. "No." He was telling himself that it was just because he felt her power. He convinced himself it couldn't have been more. If he had shown one moment of weakness Snoke would have known. "I was intrigued because I have never seen such beauty in my life." He softly put her hair behind her ears. "You were beautiful and strong and courageous. You were scared, yet you didn't tremble. There was just something about you."

She kissed him passionately drinking his words and feelings all in. "I have to make a confession too. When you took off your mask…I was expecting something else." She nervously bit her lip, "I was expecting someone deformed or older or…" She wasn't even sure what she expected. She touched his face again. "I didn't expect this handsome, conflicted face…with those eyes…"

He was sure he was blushing and he never blushed. He was aware he wasn't like his father. He wasn't the typical guy a woman would immediately swoon for, so her words surprised him, melted him from the inside.

His lips crashed down on her again. "What do you want?" He whispered into her ear, in a low, sensual voice.

She gasped when his hands found the sweet spot between her legs. "Just you." He gladly complied.


Rey poked absentmindedly at the food on her plate. The rebels sat up a small cafeteria, so people had a place to eat together. She sat next to Finn on a bench on looked curiously at something that resembled mashed potatoes.

"It's almost tasty." He said jokingly. "I mean it has a slight touch of garbage, not that I know what garbage tastes like, but –"

She was nodding every once in a while, or faking a smile, but deep down she was miles away. She felt incredibly sorry for not paying more attention to him these days, but the war and her feelings were slowly eating her up from the inside.

Every day a new mission, a new plan, a new fight. They would clash with the First Order and both sides would walk out bruised, but no one would ever win. It was an endless cycle of violence and destruction.

She kept telling Ben that they would find a way to end this fight once and for all, but she started to doubt her own words. The only way this could end was with either the rebellion destroyed or Ben dead and neither was an option.

And even if it ended, even if both magically made it out alive, what then? A win for the First Order she didn't want to imagine and she was sure neither was Ben, but what did a win for the resistance mean for them? For him? He would be trialed for his crimes committed as Kylo Ren. A lot of people would want him executed for all he did and even if not, the best-case scenario was him being imprisoned for life and she wasn't going to accept that. She was selfish when it came to him and she knew it. People lost loved ones because of the First Order and deserved retribution, but she knew in her heart that she would protect him no matter what. There was a fine line between right or wrong, but the night she decided to give into her desire for the first time she made the decision to follow her heart and was not going back on that. And didn't people still talk about the redemption of Anakin Skywalker thirty years after? If Darth Vader himself was redeemed even in death, couldn't Ben Solo be too?

"Rey, are you listening to me?"

"What?" She looked up into the worried eyes of Finn, who meanwhile had finished all of his food. "I'm sorry. I was just…thinking."

"I was asking you if you'd join the food raid next week." He looked at her plate of untouched food.

She smiled gently and pushed the plate towards him. He gave her a big toothy grin and started to eat again.

"I don't think so. My lightsaber still isn't working." She tried her best to repair Luke's broken lightsaber, the painful reminder of the rift that once existed between her and Ben, but she couldn't make it work for more than a couple of minutes.

"You are strong without a lightsaber Rey." Finn grabbed her and squeezed it. "Besides, you need to get out of here more often."

She knew he worried about her constantly. There were days she almost told him about the Force, about Ben, about her feelings, but she was afraid what that would mean, for them and their friendship. Could he ever possibly forgive her for lying? For literally sleeping with the enemy? He had such a big heart, was the first real friend she ever had and disappointing him was one of her worst fears.

"I don't know." She said. Truth to be told, the lightsaber was only an excuse to stay on the base. She was terrified to accidentally run into Ben on the battlefield again. Last time he killed one of his own Stormtroopers to protect her. Thankfully no one noticed, but they wouldn't be lucky twice. Their feelings were betraying them, actions when around each other were unpredictable.

"Hey guys." Rose appeared beside them and took her place next to Finn followed by Poe and BB-8. They four of them always sat together. They had become a little family inside of the rebellion.

"Can you guys please tell Rey to join us on the raid? I'm afraid she is getting rusty." Finn laughed.

Poe gently clapped Rey's back. "Listen to the man here. You need some fresh space air and kick some First Order ass."

They continued talking, trying to persuade her and in the end, she gave in. Why would Ben be at a food storage anyway?


"How can it be that the rebel scum always gets away? I'm starting to suspect they have a spy inside the First Order." Hux was rambling around. Like he always did. Ben massaged his temples. How a voice could actually cause a headache was beyond him.

"Supreme Leader" Oh the mockery in his voice, "shouldn't we follow up on this?"

Ben rolled his eyes. "Follow up on what exactly? A hunch?" He subdued his voice, trying to sound as bored and disinterested as possible. He couldn't give Hux a reason to doubt him even more than he already did. He wasn't exactly spying for the rebellion as Hux thought, but in his act as Supreme Leader he made sure to mislead his own people as much as possible. He would make sure Rey was as safe as she could be. He was true to not joining the resistance, some of his old views about them stayed intact, besides with him at the top of the First Order he could at least protect her and the people she cared about. If he left someone else would take over, someone like Hux probably.

Hux wasn't a match for him. Not a physical one at least. But that guy was a snake through and through and he had supporters. He also had to be careful no one would find out what really happened in Snoke's throne room. There were loyal supporters to him still who would hunt him down and kill him for what he had done. Mostly the Knights, some who he once brought to Snoke from Luke's temple. He could fight, but not all of them, not alone at least and he wouldn't drag Rey into the mess he made. Not more than he already had.

"My hunches tend to be right."

"Your hunches tend to be idiotic." He raised his arm, lifting Hux up from the ground. The general choked. "Please."

Ben released him. "Don't make accusations you can't prove. It only furthers distrust within the First Order." He was getting good at acting as the Supreme Leader. He hated it and it scared him, but after struggling to keep his power intact, he now was getting a grip on his leadership. Maybe in another universe, another situation he was taking after his mother after all.

"Supreme Leader." Hux hissed again. He wanted to say more, but decided to keep quiet.

"You think my temper gets the best of me." Ben stated calmly.

"I would never…" Hux grabbed his throat in a lost attempt to shield it. Ben however decided not to use the Force against him this time. Instead he stood up, rising above his second in command. "Believe me" He growled in a deep, menacing voice, "You would know if I ever lose my temper."

Hux gulped and stiffly walked out of the room.


Rey dropped to the ground and lend against the wall. She looked at the lightsaber in her hand. "Why won't you work?" She groaned.

"Still not doing it your way?"

Rey turned around, looking into the kind eyes of General Leia Organa. "General!" She jumped on her feet.

Leia waved her hand and laughed. "I told you to just call me Leia."

Rey smiled shyly. She studied the older woman's face. Those eyes. Ben got her eyes. She quickly looked away, trying to hide a blush. A feeling of embarrassment suddenly hit her when she thought about the things she did with him. Leia's son.

"Is everything alright, child?" She asked kindly, offering Rey her hand.

Rey took it and smiled. "Yeah. Just frustrated about the lightsaber." She said quickly. Leia was sensitive to the Force, was also from the Skywalker bloodline, sometimes she was afraid that just thinking about Ben would give her away.

"Don't be." Leia said assuring. "I'm sure you will work it out." While knowing how to use the Force, Leia was no expert on lightsabers, that had always been her brother's specialty.

Thinking about Luke made her heart hurt. She tried to remind herself that at least he was in peace now, but after Han losing him felt like she lost a part of herself.

"I'm sorry about Luke." Rey said, sensing her sadness.

Leia shook her head, quickly wiping a tear away. "He is probably laughing at our silly faces from wherever he is."

Rey could imagine that perfectly. "I wish he could have taught me more." She said reminiscing.

"You are doing good on your own." Leia's voice was swelling with pride. Was that how having a mother felt like, Rey wondered. She imagined that in a different life under different circumstance she and Ben could have met in a different way and maybe –

"Just be careful with that lightsaber though." Leia interrupted her thoughts, "it could suddenly activate and you get seriously hurt."

"Yeah." Rey gently rubbed her wrist, not even noticing that gesture. "That would make for one deep scar."

Leia followed her movements curiously. The hand. The scar. She would never forget. But how was that possible?

"Why do you touch your wrist like that?" Spoken out loud the question sounded strange even to her. Maybe it was just an unintentional gesture and she saw more than what was actually there.

"What?" Rey immediately dropped her hands. She didn't notice. Her feelings indeed betrayed her. Talking to Leia about lightsabers brought her back to Ben and his story and the scar. That damn scar. She wasn't careful enough. "I…" she didn't want to lie to Leia, wasn't even sure she could, but telling the truth didn't seem like a reasonable option as well. Maybe bending it counted as a grey zone. That at least was a way to keep her conscious semi-clean. "When Ben and I were connected through the Force I saw the scar." It wasn't a lie. She just failed to mention that they were still connected and it only happened recently.

Hearing her son's name Leia touched her heart. She always tried to be strong, tried to push her emotions aside, not to see her son but Kylo Ren, the villain he had become. But hearing his true name was almost too much to bear.

"And how do you know what happened?"

Rey looked down at her feet. "Well…the Force…" she stuttered.

"Of course." Leia said with a sad smile. "The Force showed you the past."

Rey nodded. Did that count as a lie? She wasn't sure. Technically she didn't say anything, Leia only assumed and she did not correct her. She sighed. Of course, it was a lie.

"Do you think there is still good in Ben?" She blurted out. To herself the answer was crystal clear, but she wanted to know if his own mother thought him beyond redemption.

Leia hesitated. "As the General of the Resistance I think that Kylo Ren is irredeemable. He killed too many, destroyed too much and chose to commit himself to the dark side." She paused. "But as a mother I just wish…"

Rey didn't know what came over her, she just walked over pulling Leia into a hug.

"Thank you." Leia said, "Allowing me this moment of weakness."

"That was not weakness." Rey said, "Just love."

They looked silently at each other for a moment before Rey turned around. "I should go back to my chamber."

"Wait." Leia said, "Why did you call him Ben?"

Rey's eyes widened.

"Everyone calls him Kylo Ren. You don't."

"Ben is his name, isn't it?" Rey said before leaving the room with the unnerving feeling that Leia Organa was now onto her.


"You look wrecked." Rey stated when Ben appeared in her room. "What happened?"

He dropped on her bed. "Migraine. You don't look so good either."

She sighed. "My lightsaber won't work."

"Still trying to fix that?" He asked. He wasn't sure how he felt about his Uncle's or rather his grandfather's lost lightsaber anymore. Once upon a time he had done everything to own it, now it just reminded him of the past he so desperately wanted to die.

Rey nodded. "It keeps lighting up for a few seconds and then it dies down again."

"The kyber crystal is probably broken." He said causally, rubbing his temples.

"I checked it. Didn't look broken to me." She put the lightsaber next to her bed, out of side. She felt that it made him uncomfortable.

He closed his eyes, even the small light in her room was too much. "Fractured from the inside. You will need a new one." His voice was filled with pain. Curse Hux for giving him a headache.

"Take off your shirt." She suddenly said and climbed behind him. It still amazed her how she went from "put something on" to causally demand nakedness. The intimacy scared her. She had never experienced something like it before, yet she never wanted to lose it again.

"We are talking about lightsabers and you…" He was confused, yet did as she asked.

She could never get enough of looking at him. He wasn't even aware of the full effect he had on her body, her mind, her heart.

She rolled her eyes and playfully slapped his shoulder. "I will help you get better." She pressed a spot on his neck and he screamed out.

"Are you mad?"

She pressed another spot, making him wince in pain. "Don't be such a baby! I picked up one or two things about medicine and this will help you get rid of the headaches."

Did she just call him baby? Usually that would cause his temper to explode, when she said it in that annoyed yet sweet voice it was oddly endearing. He leaned back and tried to relax his muscles.

"So, where do I get a kyber crystal? It's not like you randomly find one these days." Her hands moved to his shoulders.

"Well…." He said sheepishly.

She accidentally pressed too hard, making him scream yet again. "Oops, sorry. But you're joking, right?"

He blinked. Despite the pain she was now causing him his head felt better. "Snoke always kept some for his knights. And as the new Supreme Leader…"

"You have access to them!" She squealed in excitement.

He leaned back, closing his eyes again. Was that what a normal relationship felt like? Sharing events of your day? This causal yet comfortable intimacy? Just talking about lightsabers? For a moment he wished that this wasn't just the Force bond, that this was them on a tiny planet, away from all the fights, living their lives together in peace.

"I can't just mail them to you." He said dryly. She got used to that dry sense of humor he had by now. She was surprised he had a sense of humor at all, but surprisingly she enjoyed it.

Her hands moved to his temples, massaging them with gentleness and care. "True." She was lost in thoughts for a moment. "There is a raid!" She exclaimed. "Some location called Area 5-PTO"

He turned his head slightly around. "Small place, almost no guards. I could place it there somewhere safe. You could accidentally find it."

She swung her legs around his hips and placed herself on his lap, her arms wrapped around his neck. "And then I can build me a new lightsaber!" She laughed, pressing her forehead against his. "See, we make such a wonderful team!"

He softly rubbed her back. "Rey?"

"Hm?"

"Take off your shirt…please."

She laughed again.


Finn was startled when someone knocked at his door. He didn't have a clock, but he figured it must have been well past midnight.

He quickly grabbed some clothes and stood up. "Come in."

To his surprise it was General Leia entering his room.

"General!" He said nervously, "Did something happen?" Did he sleep through an attack? Did the First Order find them again and they had to leave?"

"No, no everything is fine." She made a gesture to hush him and closed the door behind herself.

Finn pointed at the lone chair in his room. "Please take a seat." He offered politely, but Leia declined.

"I need to talk to you about Rey." She quickly made her point.

"Rey?" Finn asked.

Leia nodded. She wasn't entirely sure what she expected to find out, but ever since that strange encounter and conversation she had with the young Jedi, she felt the need to uncover whatever truth she was hiding. And why not start with her best friend?

"Did you notice any odd behavior about her?"

She could see that Finn felt uncomfortable talking to her about Rey, yet his eyes gave him away. He wasn't entirely surprised by the question, so he did notice himself.

"The lightsaber is not working." He stumbled, "She is just frustrated. And tired. All of us are."

He was sincere that she was sure about, but also worried. Deeply worried. "You noticed it too, didn't you?" She said gently.

For a moment he looked like wanted to be anywhere in the Galaxy but there, but finally he gave her a quick nod. "I'm just worried." He confessed. "Something is bothering her and she won't tell me what it is. She didn't even tell Chewie or BB-8." He sat down on the chair he previously offered Leia. "I just want to help her."

Leia put her hand on his shoulders. "So, do I. Finn, keep an eye on her, will you?" Her voice was so serious, yet there was something Finn couldn't place.

"Of course."

"Very well." Leia was about to leave the room when Finn jumped back on his feet.

"General!"

"Yes?" He was so eager, so good. Looking at him reminded her of her brother when she first met him.

"You don't think she is in danger or anything, right?"

"I don't know." Leia said, and she meant it.


They prepared the Falcon early in the morning. Just a small group of rebels was going to get new food. The plan was to quickly go in and out without alarming the Stormtroopers.

Rey was whistling while climbing into the cockpit next to Poe. Chewie was sitting this mission out much to his dismay.

"You're awfully cheery this morning." Poe said, eyebrows raised.

Rey shrugged. "Just happy to get off the base." It was true, Finn had been right after all. She missed being on the Falcon, missed doing something productive and this was a pleasant change of location. She knew they would have it easy today. Ben assured her he repositioned most the guards to a different place and on the top of that she would finally get a new crystal for her lightsaber.

"Well, good to have you back." Poe grinned at her.


Ben realized things were getting out of hand the moment he stepped out of a First Order training facility and noticed a group of Stormtroopers getting ready to leave.

He stopped one, taking him aside. "What is going on here?" He demanded.

"Supreme Leader!" The Stormtrooper saluted. He hated it when they did that. "General Hux ordered us to go to facility Area 5-PTO, Sir. Rebels should be there."

Ben clenched his fist. That little bastard. He stormed away, into the commando room. The few people in there left just by seeing his angry face.

"Before you –" Hux started to defend himself but didn't get to finish his sentence. He crumbled on the floor, panting for air.

"How dare you to order something without consulting me!" Ben hissed.

Hux's face was turning blue. Ben looked at him full of disgust before finally releasing him. Hux coughed and gasped and tried to catch his breath.

"An informant…and informant told me the rebels would go to raid this place…" he tried to explain himself.

Ben lifted him up, smashing him against the wall. "Was that informant another one of your hunches?"

Hux eagerly shook his head. "No…no…just someone loyal to the First Order."

Ben tossed him back to the floor. That couldn't be happening. She was supposed to be safe. It was supposed to be an easy job, just going in and out without even alarming the troops.

"Call them back immediately." He ordered.

Something in Hux's face changed. He was still scared out of his mind, Ben sensed that, yet there was some triumph hidden inside behind his glaring eyes.

"If you call them back now and the rebels will attack, how does that make you look like?" He said with a smug smile.

How much Ben hated that face. He would have killed him a long time ago, but rather he liked it or not, Hux kept things running and killing him would only raise suspicion.

He turned around, grabbing the next man he saw by the collar. "Prepare my ship. I will see to this myself."

It was a terrible plan, he was aware of that. Going there would mean facing her, but at least so he could make sure she and her friends wouldn't walk into a trap.


Rey knew something was wrong the moment she stepped outside the Falcon. She could feel his presence like he was standing right next to her. "Oh…no no no no" she whispered to herself.

"You okay?" Finn asked. "You look pale."

She ignored him and walked over to Poe, grabbing him by the arm. "Call the mission off." She said in a desperate voice. "He is here. I can feel him."

Poe was confused, so was Finn. They kept their voices low, so the other rebels wouldn't be alarmed. "Who?" Poe asked.

"Kylo Ren." It felt weird calling by the name Snoke had given him. "I can sense him. We have to leave."

Poe grabbed his gun. "That's our shot!" His eyes were gleaming. "Maybe we can end the bastard right now!"

She looked at Finn for help. "We can do it Rey. You can do it." He smiled at her. "If we fight together, maybe we'll win this time."

This wasn't going the way she wanted it to go. She had to think quickly. Obviously, something went wrong. He dropped the kyber crystal off a couple of days ago, so that wasn't it. Maybe someone tipped them off?

She tried to calm her breath, keep her feelings under control. She had to trust him. She closed her eyes. First things first, she needed to find the crystal.

The rebels dismantled the security system. She walked inside close behind Poe and Finn. Suddenly she looked up. There was an air shaft right above her and she could feel something calling to her from inside it. Unnoticed she used the Force to open it. She pictured the crystal inside of her mind, seeing it clearly in front of her, she asked it to come to her and it did. Mission accomplished. At least this mission.

Things did not continue as smoothly. They were ambushed as soon as they entered the main hall. Stormtroopers everywhere firing on them. This was not supposed to happen.

Finn was shouting, Poe was shooting. Rebels were hurt or dying, so were Stormtroopers. She kept looking for him. He wisely kept away from the fight, avoiding killing anyone.

"There!" Finn yelled.

She looked up and there he was. Ben. Her Ben. Lightsaber drawn, defending himself against a rebel. He knocked him back with the Force, briefly locking eyes with her. She immediately understood. Follow me.

She ran after him until they reached a small room behind a glass wall. It was silent inside, the battle suddenly felt so far away.

They stared at each other, realizing that they hadn't been this close since they fought back to back against Snoke's guards.

"You got the crystal?" He was the first one to break the silence.

She nodded. This felt surreal to her. She saw him everyday through their bond, heard is voice, touched him and yet, yet this felt different. A part of her had always been afraid that her feelings weren't the same once they met again face to face, but it was exactly the opposite. Her feelings only intensified the very moment she locked eyes with him.

"Why are you here?" She asked in a hushed voiced.

He looked around. Suddenly something exploded over their heads. "Making sure all cameras are out." He briefly explained. "Hux has an informant who told him about the raid. I came here to…I don't know, make sure you are fine."

It touched her that he risked his position yet again for her safety, even though it was incredible stupid. "I can take care of myself! You're putting yourself in danger being here." She scolded.

This wasn't how he imagined their first meeting again. He expected something more serene and romantic.

"I also wanted you to know that I didn't betray you." His voice was suddenly so insecure it almost broke her heart.

"You can be such an idiot!" She hissed. "I know you wouldn't betray me." They were long past that. "I trust you, Ben."

She didn't realize how much those words truly meant to them.

"Get your people and leave." He tried to stay as calm as possible. They had to be rational in this situation. "I'll figure something out to make sure you'll get the food."

"If you lose today your position will be questioned!"

"Your people will starve!"

"You could get killed!"

"So do you!"

It was no use arguing with her. They were both too stubborn to ever give in and both had a point. He sighed, before handing her a small black device.

"What's that?" She asked.

"Plans for Facility Area 7-TPPU. More food and weapons. Get your people out of here and plan another heist. I'll make sure Hux stays in line this time."

She whispered a small 'than you'. Now she only had to convince Poe to leave empty handed.

"Rey." He said her name in the way only he was capable off and it took all of her strength not to melt on the spot. He dropped his gloves to the ground and reached out his hand.

She took it and electricity jolted through her whole body. She moved closer, touching his face, running her hands through his hair. He did the same. They were touching, actually touching for real and she never wanted to stop.

He took it all in. Her soft skin, her smell, the way she quivered under his touch. If they would be discovered now and both charged for treason it would have been worth it. He didn't know how he could ever go back to only touching her through the force bond.


"Where is Rey?" Finn yelled through the chaos. They were fighting a lost cause. Too many Stormtroopers, not enough rebels. They needed to leave.

"I thought she was with you!" Poe yelled back.

Finn shot a Stormtrooper in front of him, wondering if he knew the face behind the helmet. He briefly shook that thought, he couldn't allow himself to show mercy.

"You don't think she went after Kylo alone, do you?" Poe asked worried, pulling one of his comrades back to her feet.

Finn wasn't sure about it. Rey was so hesitant to even enter the facility knowing he was there that it hardly made sense for her to seek out a fight, yet she was acting strange for months now. "I'll go looking for her."

He made his way through the Stormtroopers and rebels, shouting her name. He went through an empty corridor. "Rey! Rey!" He feared that Kylo had kidnapped her once again when he suddenly saw her, standing behind a glass door. She was standing in front of Kylo Ren, holding his face, he did the same to her.

Finn was confused, wondering if that was some kind of Force connection, a Jedi way to fight, though Han Solo's voice rang inside his ear "that's not how the Force works."

He shouted her name again, wanted her to know she was not fighting alone but it was for nothing, she couldn't hear him.

"Dammit!" He raised his baster, ready to fire, but something stopped him.

Kylo lowered his face, Finn expected everything but not what was happening next. Kylo's lips crashed down on Rey's, kissing her deeply. He expected Rey to push him off immediately, but his friend only pulled him closer.


Kissing her, the real her, felt like breathing for the first time. Not only the Force was connecting them, but their hearts, minds, souls. Two halves of a whole coming together.

She pressed her tiny body against his. She wanted to drink him in, never be apart again. Kissing him felt amazing before, but this was a whole new experience. A new feeling, a new desire.

They breathlessly parted. He put sweet kisses down her neck. "Ben…Ben stop, we can't…" she tried to be reasonable, but her body was betraying her. She leaned into every touch, welcomed every kiss.

"If someone sees us…" she tried to argue.

"Let them see. Let them know." He said between kisses. "I don't care anymore. I only want you."

She slowly pulled away, forcing him to look her into the eyes. "I know. But we must stay focused. We –"

"What the hell!" Finn burst into the room, firing a shot right next to Ben. "Get away from her!" His hand was shaking.

"Finn!" She squeaked in an unusually high-pitched voice. She feared this would happen and it finally did. They were discovered. Not only that but by her best friend.

"Rey, come to me!" He reached out his other hand, never stopping to point his blaster at Ben. "He is manipulating you!" Of course, he thought that. To him seeing her with Ben made no sense, to him it was the worst kind of betrayal, so the only reasonable explanation was that he was forcing her to do this.

"Finn." She spoked calmly. "He is not manipulating me."

Finn started to shake more and more. "Exactly what a mind-controlled person would say!"

"If I was controlling her you'd be dead, Stormtrooper." Ben said in that dangerous low voice he only addressed enemies with.

Rey shot him a look that he freely interpreted as not helping, before she turned back to her friend. "Finn, he can't manipulate me. We can't do that to each other." How could she explain this? There was no way he would ever understand.

"This must be manipulation!" He tried to convince himself more than anything. He panted, not sure what to think anymore. Suddenly the blaster was thrown out of his hand.

"Ben!" Rey snapped.

Finn blinked. Ben? Since when was he Ben? That was Kylo Ren right there and even if he had been Ben Solo once, those days were long gone.

"I'm sorry, I'm not willing to be shot by a nervous wreck." He defended himself.

All around them lights suddenly to blink red. A loud, booming sound went through the halls.

"What is that?" She asked.

"The alarm is back on." He sounded tense. "You need to go. They will send reinforcements. Go, now!" He pressed a button, opening another door. "Next corridor on the left, then first door right and you are out."

She stared at him. "But…no…I can't…We just –"

"I know." He said hastily. "I don't want to part either. But you have to go."

She suppressed her tears and nodded. She grabbed Finn by the hand who was still under shock. "Come on." Finn tried to argue, but she wasn't having it. "I'll explain everything, I promise. But first let's get out of here." She handed him the fallen blaster.

He took it and pressed it to his body. The expression on his face broke her heart. Hurt, mistrust, disappointment.

She swallowed. That had to wait until later. She turned to Ben once more. She could see the sadness and terror in his eyes.

"Ben!" She ran towards him, wrapping her arms around him and kissing him once more, ignoring Finn's shocked gasps. "Be careful." She whispered.

"You too. I'll see you later."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

She kissed his lips once more before following Finn out in the open. The mission had failed and one moment of weakness had changed everything.