Disclaimer: I don't own twilight, just a twisted mind. You have been warned this is a slash and poly story. If you not like those kind of stories, its fine, push the red button in the upper right corner and I promise it will go away.
Many thanks to my co-horts Holloweenlover, Dazzleglo, and busymommy
The Last Thing I Wanted
Chapter 2
Bella's POV
Driving away as fast as I could, I headed for La Push, and Jake. Jake would make the pain go away, he always did. Jake never made his feeling for me a secret, I just couldn't reciprocate them.
Seeing Edward intertwined so intimately with Jasper was probably the worst thing I had ever witnessed. Besides the harsh reality that he didn't want me, he wanted a man instead, crushed me worse than when he left. He should have stayed gone. It was apparent he only used his relationship with me to cover his true feelings for Jasper. I was his beard. My body racked with painful sobs as I raced down the tree lined road.
With tears streaming down my cheeks and the pain of losing him again fresh in my thoughts, I tore down the dark curves of the roadway. I needed to get away from them, all of them. Each mile marker I passed tore deeper into my soul. This was a hurt that would never heal.
Even Alice's soft and gentle touches couldn't push this pain away. Not that she could offer any; she was in the same boat I was. Jasper had betrayed her too.
Her touches were what helped ease the pain when she arrived back before the rest of the Cullen's. They got me through the race to Italy to rescue Edward. I've never told her, but I liked them way more than I should have.
Screaming out in frustration, I barreled down the pitch-black tar. I was almost home free, almost to a place where they couldn't see or reach me; I was almost at La Push. Releasing a shaky breath, I banked the curve overlooking the cliffs. Using my sleeve to wipe away the tears that were streaming down my cheeks, I looked up just in time to see the guardrail.
My truck violently slammed into it, sending me flying into the windshield before everything went black.
Jasper's POV
When Edward flew out of the room, Alice stomped off too, leaving me to dress and follow her. At first, Bella and Edward's feelings of loss were all I could feel. The further he moved away, chasing Bella, the more I could feel everything Alice was going through. It was beyond hurt, embarrassment, and betrayal. When she let loose, I cringed in fear of losing my beloved.
"How could you? I thought you loved me! For years, I have been waiting for you to include me. Just once for you to ask me to be with the two of you. But now, I see the truth. You don't want me there. You can have him, too, but I can't? What the hell Jasper? Do you know how hard it has been not to take Bella in my arms and tell her I love her like I love you?" she seethed.
"I love you, both. It has only been a handful of times. I didn't know you wanted to be a part of us. And I sure in hell didn't know you wanted Bella to join us." I shrugged, not knowing if it would appease her.
Yes, I love Edward in a way that wasn't traditional. But it would never stop the undying, true love I felt for Alice. Alice is my life, and so is Edward. If she wanted more, then I could give her that. I didn't know Bella very well since I always kept my distance, but there had to be more to her if they both love her, right? I'm sure I could grow to love Bella the way I love Alice and Edward, but would they want us?
"How long, Jasper?" she demanded.
"It was five years after we found them. We went hunting one night and neither of us could stop it." Closing my eyes, I waited for her to hit me.
When the blow never came I opened them again to see her clutching her chest. The fear and panic were rolling off her in heavy waves. Whatever vision she was stuck in wasn't good. Grabbing her in my arms, I lowered her to the floor to let it pass.
"BELLA!" her ear piercing scream rocked the house.
"Alice, what did you see?" I stroked her hair trying to soothe her.
"Bella just drove off the cliffs near La Push." Her fragile body trembled against me.
"We'll stop her. We won't let her go!" I gasped.
"It's too late, it's already done. Her future is black," she sobbed, clutching my shirt.
I had to ask, "Edward?" I couldn't feel him anymore.
"He just ran off. He's not coming back," she whimpered.
"Snap out of it, Alice! We need to bring Edward home. He won't survive life without Bella," I snarled.
"You mean we won't survive without him," she whispered with fear in her eyes.
"I couldn't survive without both of you. We can't let him die. If you want us both fine, but we can't let him wander around as a hollow shell all alone again."
Blowing out a heavy breath, she nodded, "I make no promises of what the future holds for us. I won't crush the family, especially Esme, but at the very least we need to try to bring him home."
Together we took off heading north following his scent trail.
Alice's POV
Following Jasper, we headed out looking for Edward. We didn't talk about what had happened. I wasn't sure what we could say.
Yes, I had seen the visions of them together through the decades. However, I was a little shocked that it started so soon after we arrived. I must have been away shopping the first few times that it slipped my notice. Although, when I did realize, he couldn't hide Edward's scent all over him after it had happened. At first I thought they were just wrestling until I smelled Edward in place he never should have touched.
For years I waited, hoping they would include me. They never did. They acted like it never happened. I knew I cared more for Edward than a brother, and I had hoped Jasper would pick up on it, but he never did. I couldn't help loving both of them, I just did.
I tried to not to search for Bella's future, but I couldn't stop. It hadn't changed it was black as night. The last memory I would have of her would be her being mangled by that beast of a truck. It would forever be etched in my mind and heart. I should have told her my touches meant more than just friends. Maybe if she knew I loved her in a way reserved for mates, maybe she would still be here with us. Would of, Should of, Could of thinking was not going to help or change things. I needed to focus on Edward and getting him back.
Pulling out my phone, I called Carlisle, "Carlisle," I gasped for air. Not that I needed to breathe, but my chest was constricting in pain. "Bella drove off the cliffs near La Push. Edward and Bella had a fight. He blames himself and now we are trying to find him," I rambled.
"I'll go see what's going on. I'll call you when I know more," he rattled off quickly.
"Edward watched her die as I did. It was too late to stop her."
"I'm still going, Alice. Your visions are never perfect. Things change." He snapped his phone shut.
It was getting harder for Jasper to keep up with Edward's scent by the time we hit Canada. However, there was no way we wouldn't stop trying to catch up to him. At first it looked like he was heading for Denali. However, a last minute shift in directions dashed our hopes that he was headed there. The only thing I could see when I searched his future was white. That's it, a sea of white. No nothing!
When my phone went off I was surprised. "Alice, come home. We'll find Edward as a family, but first, you need to be here." When he hung up on me, I started growling. His future was black as well. That meant one thing.
Wolves!
Edward's POV
With the vision of Bella's death replaying in my mind, I ran. I didn't need to wait around to hear the words. There was no way she survived the crushing of her chest against the steering wheel. The sound of her skull slamming against the windshield was all my ears could hear and would continually hear for all eternity.
I had done that to her. It was my fault she died. I had ruined everyone's lives in one single moment of weakness. Why couldn't I stop loving Jasper?
When I met Bella, I thought my love for him would diminish, but it didn't. In one moment, I lost Bella, Jasper, and Alice. Because of my mistake, we all lost the one's we love.
I wasn't running to free myself. I was running to free my family of having to look at me in their grief. Alice wouldn't be able to see me without thinking of Bella; she lost her best and only friend. Emmett would be depressed that he lost his clumsy little sister. Having a sad Emmett was horrifying at best and I couldn't put Jasper through that kind of pain. Rose was just starting to come around, but when she found out who knows what would happen and I didn't want the family to have to take sides. Esme and Carlisle would see the daughter they loved in my face. I just wanted to find a hole, curl up, and die in it. If only it was that easy.
Visions of Bella danced in my memory, torturing me for my stupidity. I would never see her beautiful face, melted chocolate pools, and her gleaming smile. Those memories would be the only thing I had left of her.
I knew Charlie and Carlisle would see to her, but I couldn't see her broken body. The vision was enough to make me want to be sick. Sick didn't even cover it. I wanted to tear my own eyes out so I wouldn't have to see them again. Being a vampire made forgetting every detail, blood spatter, and cracking bone impossible.
I ran for hours with no destination in mind. I didn't want Alice to see where I went. The terrain changed as I crossed in and out of the United States. Needing to be as far from people as possible; I was heading to the Arctic Circle. There, I would never have to think about the perfection I had let slip away.
Dropping to my knees in the snow, I screamed out, "Bella!"
It sounded more like a wounded bear than a human as it rippled out of my chest and reverberated back at me. Falling face first, I collapsed into the snow. I didn't want to see the days passing nor the aurora borealis' beauty. I wasn't worthy to gaze upon it. I wanted to be dead, not there without the ones I loved.
Carlisle's POV
Alice's call came at the same moment the hospital received a call from the P.D. They wanted an ambulance at the scene of a crash. I knew it had to be one in the same. I, of course, immediately volunteered to ride along hoping I would be able to help Bella. What we found was far worse than what I ever expected to see.
When I arrived, the tow truck was just hauling Bella's truck up over the guardrail. The sea rushed out and left the truck empty. Charlie screamed out in agony as his deputies caught him when his legs buckled out from under him.
Just when I was about to approach him I caught the scent of Sam. He was running in hard and fast from the south. He stopped just before exiting the trees and waited.
While Charlie's deputies led him to his cruiser I slipped into the woods and found Sam in wolf form. Clutched in his teeth was Bella's favorite gray hoodie.
"Where is she?" I growled.
Nudging his head towards La Push I raced off following his scent trail. Boundary line be damned, I didn't stop until I reached his house. Emily didn't seem the least bit surprised when I suddenly stopped in front of her.
"Dr. Cullen, I have never seen anything this bad." Her body shuddered as she sobbed.
Rushing in, I was slammed with the overpowering smell of her blood. If it wasn't for Jacob clutching her broken form, I would have never of known it was Bella.
"Save her Doc. I love her. I don't care if she'll be a leech. I'll take her any way I can get her.
"Saving her won't change her feelings for Edward. You understand that don't you?"
"I don't care! Save her!" Nodding, I moved in closer.
"All I can do is try, I can't guarantee anything. I've never turned anyone in this condition. She is far worse than Esme and Emmett. Alice doesn't see Bella coming back."
"Try, Doc. You have permission from both of us," Sam gruffly spoke.
"Jacob, you need to move. This is going to be hard enough without us fighting our urges to kill each other." He nodded, moving out from under her.
It wasn't hard to figure out where to start, Bella was a mangled mess. Her bones were not broken, they were shattered. Her skull was misshaped from the impact on the windshield. How she was still breathing I'll never know.
Leaning in, I prayed if she survived she wouldn't hate me like Rosalie had for so many years until she found Emmett.
A/N I know you hate me for stopping here. But in the name of flow I needed to keep the next chapter in one piece. So feel free to review!
