I was in the hospital for two days. Well, the medical hospital anyway. After I got out of there they realized that I wouldn't even sign so they sent me to a psychiatric facility.

I was there for two months. I spent my birthday there. I didn't get any presants. In fact, that was the start of the end of my 'happy' birthdays.

I was silent the whole time I was in there. No shock there, I'd never spoken. Unless you count what happened at the picnic. I don't. Not really. I was considered not mute, but a victim of Post Tramatic Stress. Whatever.

I was sent to live with my mothers sister, Petunia. She was married to a rather large man and they had a balloon for a child. Dudley, they called him. Dudley hated me instantly, because his mom was giving me attenion that he felt belonged to him. He would tattle on me at first for little things that I did wrong without knowing it was wrong to do. Then he would do things himself and blame me for it. Of course when they asked me if I did it I didn't answer, so they assumed I was guilty. Thus punishment ensued. It got to the point where anything that went wrong was blamed on me, no matter who's fault it actually was.

I was eventually not allowed to have desert. Then I had to do dinner dishes. Next they took away TV. Then I wasn't allowed dinner. It kept going that way for a while. By the time it reached its worst I was living in a broom closet under the stairs and only allowed to eat one thing per day. I did all of the chores and got beatings at least once a day. Usually from my uncle. I hated his beatings, because we were usually alone for them, and he usually punished me with more than just a few wacks upside the head. His punishments stole my innocence.

They sent me to a special eductaion school and I was at the top of my class. They reffered me to the public school where Dudley went. Vernon fought it, but in the end I had to go. I was top of my class there too. I had perfect attendance and honor roll. I wasn't allowed to stay home, ever. Even when I had a fever of 103, I had to go to school. Not that I really minded. I studied harder than anyone else. The school started to wonder if I was a genius by the time I reached fourth grade.

My uncle got more angry for that, and started forbidding me from coming home until dark. He said it was my punishment for taking away Dudley's glory. I started spending evenings at the park two blocks away fromt the house. The one Dudley didn't go to. That was where I 'met' him.

I never saw his face. Or any other part of him, except for his handwriting. He saw me, I know he did, because he left the notebook. I found it on the swing one day, but I never knew who left it there. So many kids played at that park I couldn't keep track. It was a bright green notebook.

My mom told me I could leave this notebook for you, so that we could be pen friends.
I think you need a pen friend, because you're always swinging alone.
I'm not allowed to tell you my name though. Mommy said it wasn't a good idea.
She said you wouldn't write back, but you will, right?
I'm not sposed to tell you what I look like too.
But that's not fair, cuz I know what you look like.
Your eyes are my favorite color. I like green.
And your hair is black.
I've never seen you around the neighborhood.
I think you live somewhere else.
Mommy says I have to go to bed now, but will you write to me?
Mommy's gonna read this to make sure I didn't tell you too much.
Bye-bye.

That was the first thing he ever wrote to me. I don't know how, but I just knew it was a boy talking to me. I wrote back to him that night, and left the notebook in the same place. Looking back on it, it was pretty childish, but it was the only connection to another person that I had.

I don't think I'm supposed to have friends. My uncle might get mad.
But maybe if I don't tell him he won't punish me...I won't tell.
How old are you, anyway? It's ok if you don't tell me...
I figured you have to be in school, cuz you can write.
I'm ten. And my name is Harry Potter.
I live in a different neighborhood.
My favorite color is red.

That was all I wrote the first time. It was like interenet dating I suppose, except that I had to write everything by hand, and we were just friends. All I know is that sometimes I only went to the park to see if he wrote back.

I told mommy you'd write back!
Why aren't you allowed to have friends?
Your uncle sounds mean. How does he punish you?
Mommy said I can tell you how old I am. Guess what? I'm ten too!
I don't go to school. My mommy home-schools me. Why?
Are you the Harry Potter that was in the accident 8 years ago?
Mommy said that it was a really sad thing that happened.
Can we play together next time? It would be lots of fun.
What time is your bed time? I have to be in bed by 8.
So I have to go again.
Good night Harry!

I wrote back the same day and left the note book in the same bush we'd been leaving it in. This time I left a key inside the book.

He just hurts me sometimes, that's all. He doesn't like me to be better than my cousin.
I'm the same Harry from the accident. It was really scary.
The key is the key to my house from when I lived with my mom and dad.
My uncle was gonna throw it out..can you keep it for a while?
And aren't you too old to call your mom mommy?
I can't play with you. I have to play by myself. My aunty would tell my uncle.
I have to go to my room at 5:30. That's their rule.
They don't tell me to go to bed. I just do.
I'm going to give you a nick-name, okay? Cuz that way I have something to call you.
Good Night!

I couldn't wait for the next day. I rushed through my chores and ran to the park. The notebook was sitting in the same spot, but the key wasn't there.

Yeah, I'll hold onto the key for you.
How does he hurt you? Does he spank you?
I don't really care how old I am. I love my mommy as my mommy.
I don't like your family very much. They all seem really mean.
What are you gonna nickname me?
Write back so I can find out!
Good night Harry!

I pulled out my pen and wrote back to him right away.

I'm gonna call you Panda, cuz I found whit hair on the page.
And well..panda bears have white and black hair.
And I have the black hair..so we're like a panda. Get it?
My family isn't mean. They took me in when my parents died.
They're the nicest people, but I'm not their kid..
So sometimes I get out of line and uncle has to punish me.
It's okay.
Good night Panda!

I made it to sixth grade because of him. We talked to each other that way every night. Then after that he just stopped writing. I went to the park every day for 10 days and never saw the notebook sitting there, so I just figured he'd moved away, or had outgrown going to the park or was annoyed with me or..something. After nothing for a week, I stopped going.

I don't really know how I made it through middle school without him. Eventually the part of me that knew him just let him go into the past. I learned to live without anyone caring about me. But I missed him.


A/N: Sort of steady progression? I hope? D: Shoot me if it's going too fast. -dodges bullets-