Kyle was heading out to Grand Street when he looked over and saw Otis in the throng. He appeared to be scanning the crowd. The boy flipped his hood up and slid over to the other side of a large group going his way. Otis could be there on his own, but he didn't appear to be in relaxed or fun mood that an evening on the town would bring. He appeared to be searching for someone, to be searching for him.
Kyle couldn't believe it hadn't occurred to him that his father would call in reinforcements. Of course he would call the guys. He would ask them if they had seen him or heard from him. If Otis was out looking, then Kyle was certain, Kelly and the Chief were too. And Gabby had probably called Antonio as well. He shook his head at his own stupidity. Not only was he going to be in trouble with his dad, but there would be a line of people waiting to yell at him. Maybe he should just call it a day and go home. But as he toiled with this thought he looked over in the window of a business he was passing and saw the picture taped to the inside of the window. That damn picture, no doubt taken that day by the friendly photographer with the monster lens. There had even been talk of a Pulitzer. It had been on the front page of every Chicago paper, large and small and was also rumored to possibly be published in both Life and Time magazines. Television stations all over Chicago and even some from New York had called wanting to interview the father and son. But when Kyle declined Matt told them all that they would pass on the opportunity.
The photo showed Chief Boden holding Kyle who was reaching in desperation at the building that was holding his father as well as the others hostage. The boy's face stated it all in a rare and pure display of horror. People loved a tragedy and when it could be so boldly displayed on the face of young and unassuming child it would be lapped up even more. An expression of fear, desperation and trepidation painted so well on such an angelic canvas could only pull people into the moment. But it wasn't just the picture that had shocked Kyle it had been the information that had come with it.
"Have you ever told Kyle the truth about Hallie's death?" Kelly had asked as he tossed the paper down on the kitchen table the morning after the fire that nearly took their lives. Matt looked over, his eyes questioning. "Look at the picture," Kelly instructed.
"Oh my God. This must have been just before Chief ordered the water cannons." Matt stated.
"Yep. Your kid is probably the reason why. But read the article. They really play it up. They found out who Kyle is, who you are, and the fact that his mother was murdered."
"Shit," Matt said quietly as he looked back towards his sons closed bedroom door where the boy was still sleeping.
"You never told him did you? The truth about Hallie's death?"
"No. I mean it was hard enough to tell a six year old that his mother had just died, much less that she was murdered. I just told him she had died in the fire."
"And it hasn't come up since?" Kelly questioned.
"Why would it?"
"Google dude. What if he looked into it himself? I mean he would probably much rather hear it from you than a computer screen.
"It's not exactly an easy topic."
"I know but—but."
"But what?"
"You have a tendency to just shove things aside and pretend they aren't problems. This is going to be a problem. I mean, this is a hot topic and if he doesn't read the article himself, tons of people he knows will. It's going to come up. You need to talk to him. Tell him the truth."
And Matt tried. But every time he sat Kyle down and broached the subject that Hallie had been killed prior to the fire they were interrupted by someone stopping by to see how both Matt and Kyle were doing. Matt knew most were well-meaning but he suspected some showed up out of some kind of morbid curiosity and a desire to share the encounter around the water cooler the next day. But in the end Kyle did find out on his own and it fueled his already angry psyche.
Kyle stared at the picture for a few minutes and couldn't believe the city hadn't moved on to something else. But many said it showed the bravery of not only Chicago Fire Department, but the sacrifices of their families. Kyle knew all about the sacrifices and now thanks to this legendary picture everyone he had ever come in contact with knew as well. And they also knew so much more.
He pulled the small piece of paper out of his pocket and looked at it again. He had read it so many times it was almost too crumpled to be legible, creases crossing every which way, blurring the letters. It had been given to him by a girl that lived a few blocks away from him that he had befriended earlier that year when they had bumped into each other at the park. She had said the lyrics were from a song she had liked called Little One by Highly Suspect and she thought that they seemed to fit. Hannah seemed to have the ability to see right through him.
I'm cornered in fire so break out the secrets
I hope you know that you were worth it all along
I'm tired, you're angry, and everyone looks blurry
I love you, I'm leaving; so long
Hey, little one
I'm so scared of what this could have been
I know that today I lost my only friend
My little one
And the words were right. He was angry. Sure his father promised to always come back. But words were hollow when they held no real meaning. Promises were for fools.
He looked at the movie posters and hoped there was something playing that wasn't PG-13 or above. He didn't really care what he saw, but needed to get off the streets for a couple of hours. He noticed The Lego movie was playing even though it had started fifteen minutes ago it would work just fine. Kyle passed by a gentleman right in front of the theater who was deep in a serious conversation something about lies and misunderstandings.
"One ticket to the Lego movie," Kyle told the woman at the counter.
"Are you alone?" She asked looking around.
"My dad got a phone call just before we came in. He works all the time. It was our weekend and he promised but—well, just look," Kyle pointed to the man outside whose arms were now flailing around. "He told me to come inside and get my ticket since we were already late. He'll be in when his phone call is over." Kyle finished proud of his lying skills. He generally wasn't a good liar as his father would get that pinched look on his face whenever Kyle would try and pull a fast one and tell him to try again this time using the truth.
"Okay, then. Go ahead and enjoy," she said as she handed him back his change and the movie ticket.
Matt heard a soft knock at the door around 2:00 a.m. He jumped up and ran to the door but was visibly disappointed to see Hank Voight standing out there. Nonetheless he opened the door and motioned for him to come inside. Gabby who had dozed off, her phone still in her hand stretched and stood up. "I can't believe I fell asleep."
"Any news from anyone?" Voight asked.
"Nothing. No sightings," she answered as she checked her phone.
They guys had kept in touch with Gabby instead of repeatedly disappointing Matt.
"He came to see me," Voight stated.
"What? When!?" Matt demanded.
"A week, ten days ago."
"And you didn't think to tell me?"
"I did think it, but decided to honor his request of keeping it between to the two of us. I had hoped that our conversation would help him move forward. And maybe it did, maybe that's why he took this step. I really believe that he is doing this to royally piss you off. To prove some kind of point. He's an angry kid Casey."
Matt just ran his hand through his hair and took a few steps to his right and then circled back to where Voight was standing. "Are you looking for him?"
"Of course we are. And we won't stop. This my city and I'll turn her upside down and shake until your son falls out."
"Why did he come to you?" Gabby asked as Matt still appeared to be in some kind of shocked state.
"He wanted to know the what, why and how of his mother's murder."
"I need to speak with Hank Voight," Kyle said matter-of-factly as he marched up to the desk.
"Oh you do, do you?" The desk sergeant asked. Kyle had specifically waited until Trudy was off. He didn't need her recognizing him and telling Mouch.
"I do and I have every right to."
"Okay kid. What's your name?"
Before Kyle could answer he heard his name uttered by none other than Voight himself. "Kyle Casey is that you?"
"We need to talk. Now."
"Why of course. Follow me back to my office. Now what can I do for you?" Voight asked as he leaned against his desk once they had arrived.
"Who killed my mother? Hallie Thomas."
Voight took a moment, turned his head and blinked back the difficult and loaded question. "I remember her name."
"I read in the paper that she was murdered. That she was dead before the fire."
"I take it your father never told you the details of her death?"
"No, only that she had died in a fire. I have spent the last week researching and now I want answers from the man that knows the whole story."
"Have you asked your father?"
"I'm asking you."
"Okay," Hank said as he picked up the front page of the paper that held the famous picture from his desk. "Your quite recognizable now aren't you?"
"Just tell me!" Kyle commanded ignoring the picture and comment.
"She was donating her time to a clinic that had become what we call a pill mill. Do you know what that is?"
"They sell drugs illegally?"
"Yes. We have no reason to suspect her of doing anything wrong. We believe that she caught on to what was going on or she just stumbled into the wrong place at the wrong time."
"And they killed her." Kyle finished trying to take this new information in.
"Yes, they did."
"Who did it and where are they?" He asked as he looked off towards the wall.
"I can't recall his name, but he's dead."
"How?"
"I killed him."
"After a foot chase and a hostage situation." Kyle stated.
"Seems as if you know a lot about what happened."
"Social media is a powerful tool for those who want to brag about what they saw at the L station. You brought my father into in deal didn't you? You couldn't kill him before so you figured what the hell if he died while trying to solve your case."
"No, that's not true. He was a logical choice to help us infiltrate the ring. And I killed the guy that threatened your dad and made sure your he wasn't hurt."
"Just like the time when you showed up late when the guy that took us hostage during that human trafficking situation. You keep trying to kill him again and again."
"I saved you both that time."
"Only because you put us there!" Kyle screamed. "Actually I'm pretty sure my dad had it under control by the time you got there. Plus there was that time I had a brick of heroin in my backpack when I was six years old because you tried to take him down in our kitchen. My mother and me be damned. It always comes back to you and what you want. Somehow I don't have faith that either me or my father have ever been your priority."
"You are so your father's son. But think of me what you will." Voight said choosing to leave out the time that he had followed Matt and did save him from a gun wielding Nesbitt.
"Oh I will don't worry about that. Never worry about that."
"Look kid, I'm sorry for the circumstances that you and your father have been through and I have tried to do my part to help when I could so I hope this information helps you in some way."
"They were reconciling. When she died—they were getting back together. Her residency was going well, her schedule more regular. That day—the day she died, she was supposed to spend it with me. We were supposed to go the Museum of Science and Industry. But she forgot—again, and volunteered to work. I hated her for skipping out on our plans. She died and I was still mad at her for leaving me that day, and then I felt guilty for feeling that way and then I'd get mad at her for dying because of it. Then years later after nearly losing my dad, I find out the truth and I hate it all over again."
"Look kid, you've been through a lot and I'm sorry—"
"Can you please not tell my dad I was here," Kyle asked as he moved towards the door.
"He needs to know that you've become aware of the details surrounding your mother's death."
"Just don't. You owe me that much." And then Kyle turned and walked out of Voight's office and out of the station, wandering in thought until he had to be home.
"How old is he now anyway?" Voight asked Matt as he prepared to leave.
"He's ten," Matt answered.
"Almost eleven if you ask him." Gabby added.
"They're always trying to grow up too fast. We'll get him back. I can promise you that." Voight said as he disappeared back into the street. Matt wondered how he could promise such a thing and it made him think of those ridiculous promises he had made to Kyle about his safety on the job. Promises he had no way business making, but he did anyway.
"With that revelation I think he orchestrated this whole thing," Gabby said as she rubbed her eyes.
"I don't get it. He's always been such a good kid. Compliant, obedient. I mean he wasn't perfect by any means, but I could always count on him to do the right thing. To be where he was supposed to be, be home when he was supposed to be. This just doesn't make any sense to me."
And it was true. Overall Kyle had been a pretty easy kid to raise. He was a frequent flier at the firehouse where he knew when to step back out of the way and be scarce and when to step up with his charm and charisma. He always had a way of easing tensions and bringing a little bit of innocence back into the lives of those who saw very little of it. The guys loved him which they all proved tonight by taking time to try and find him while Matt sat around and did nothing. He had tried to go out earlier but Antonio had said it was best if he stayed at home as they had plenty of people out searching and if the boy got home on his own he would need his father there waiting for him.
"Matt, he's been through a lot and I think it all finally caught up to him." Gabby said. "He lost his mother when he was six. Then you had that head injury that left us all unsure for days. He was stuck to Kelly like Velcro. The only time he would allow himself to be taken from him was when Chief took him. You didn't see his terror like we all did.
"And there was our on again off again relationship. Then you both get snatched up by some psychopath that shoots and kills a woman in your living room. A gun was held to his head. I mean that alone would undo most kids."
"Yeah, true. But you know what he told me afterwards?"
"No, what?"
"He said 'I knew you would save us Daddy. I wasn't worried.' Then he slept like a baby that night."
"And he was right and that also proves what I'm trying to explain." Matt opened his mouth to say something but Gabby put her hand up stopping him. "Then I get pregnant. We're all excited. He told me he wanted a brother, remember?" Matt nodded smiling. "But then he said a sister would be okay too, because he would protect her."
"He was great, so excited. Just like us."
"And then the miscarriage. It was hard for us, but it was hard for him too. Then Louie comes into our lives and remember how cautious he was at first because he was afraid Louie would go away like the baby did?" Once again Matt nodded. "But finally he embraced him and then—"
"He disappeared too."
"Then he nearly saw your death right in front of him. It was too much. It was too much for both of us. It was like we couldn't breathe, couldn't move, we were in suspended animation. And that picture of himself that he sees everywhere doesn't allow him any distance from the memory. He wasn't worried when you two got kidnapped by those sex traffickers because you are his hero. Matt, he just saw his hero nearly taken out by the job he does every third day. Then on top of all that, he finds out Hallie's death wasn't accidental. No wonder he lost his mind."
"I guess you're right. Of course you're right. I offered to take him to the same therapist he saw after her death but he didn't want to go."
"I think he sees all of your assurances as empty promises." Matt looked at her understanding what she was going to tell him. "You often promise him that you'll be fine, that you are fine. He actually told me last week that it had always been empty promises. That if the fire wants to win it will. He's seen Darden die, he's seen Shay die, he knows there are no guarantees. Like Hank said he's angry and my guess is that he is trying to scare the hell out of you, out of us."
"Well he's doing a great job of it."
Gabby hugged Matt and went back to her spot on the couch. She had known Kyle for years, even before she dated Matt. They had always gotten along which continued when she and Matt got together. But she feared their relationship was based more on her being his buddy than a parent. Matt was always the disciplinarian, which in itself didn't bother her, but she was afraid of an underlying current that it was because deep down Matt was possessive of him. She never wanted to the one to say 'wait till your father gets home' but was afraid to upset the balance. Their relationship was in a good place, but it could get better. She just hoped that they would have the chance.
