Kaidan bolted upright in his bed, sweat clinging to his forehead and bare chest. He could hear someone stumbling around somewhere else in the compound. Every step they took agitated his already growing migraine, and the soft rap on the door was enough to double him over in pain, clutching his head. "Commander Alenko?" The soft voice called from the other side of the door. "Are you okay? I heard shouting." Kaidan wrestled his arms and throbbing head into his shirt and walked over to the door, opening it.
"I'm alright, Lillith. Thank you. Just a bad dream. " The private terminal on his desk flashed with an incoming message, causing him to clench his eyes shut at the intrusive light.
"Another migraine?" The petite brunette's eyes were concerned as she scanned the commander's face. Kaidan sighed. Lillith was a sweet girl, and he knew she had a thing for him, but he just wasn't ready to give Shepard up yet. As much as it tortured him to dwell on her, he couldn't help himself. The disastrous date his friends set him up with on the Citadel had been proof enough of that. He'd tried to have a good time, really, but he felt like he was betraying her. Dead or not.
He glanced at the flashing terminal, trying to resist the urge to clench his eyes shut again. "I'm fine, Lillith, honest. Thank you. But I've got to take this. " Lillith nodded, holding her hands up in a say-no-more gesture and left.
Kaidan hit the incoming message button on his terminal, his head pounding as Councilor Anderson's face appeared in holo. "Commander Alenko, we have received some interesting reports recently, and I apologize for interrupting your investigation into Cerberus' activities, but I thought you might-"
"It's fine, Councilor. What is it?" Kaidan's hands fluttered across his forehead as he bit back a sigh.
"Now I don't want you to get your hopes up or anything. Intel could be wrong, and-" The sigh slipped from his chest before he could stop himself.
"Out with it, Anderson. "
"Sorry, well, we've had reports of people, well, seeing.."
"Councilor! Spit it out!"
"Shepard." Whatever Kaidan had been expecting the human councilor to say, that hadn't been it. He felt as though the wind had been knocked out of him. Shepard.. Alive? That was impossible. He'd watched her get spaced. He'd sat through countless funerals, and memorials, accepting the flag on behalf of her crew. The only family she had. He glanced up at the shelf, where the flag sat, untouched, and willed his heart to calm.
"Sir, that's impossible. We saw her get spaced. She's gone. If this is some sort of sick joke-"
"Commander! You need to remember who you're talking to. You think that I'd tell you this if there wasn't even a possibility it was true? I've sent a message to her last known extranet address. I've asked her to come in to the Citadel. We'll know soon. Just- Just go on with your duties. Anderson out. " As soon as the Councilor had severed connections, Kaidan slumped back against the end of his bed, sliding to the floor. It was impossible.
Right?
He pushed himself to his feet, staggering over to the shelf the flag sat on. His fingers slid along the edges of the silver display case, and his eyes fluttered shut. Stupid. She was gone. Anderson was right. No use getting his hopes up. But. What if- No. She. Is. Gone. He told himself. He felt fury welling up in him. Who did these people think they were? Claiming to see her. Attention seeking Bastards!
Kaidan's fury unleashed itself in a surge of biotic power. The shockwave sent everything around him flying, including the flag. He cried out in despair, and sunk to his knees, reaching over to pick the display case off of the ground. Tears burned in his eyes as he sat back against the bed, the case clutched to his chest. It wasn't fair. None of it was fair. Hot tears slid down his cheeks as he allowed himself, finally, to cry over the loss of the woman he loved.
