Elena's POV
The door flew open when I came through it, rushing up the stairs. I found the hatch in the ceiling at the top of the stairs, and opened it. A latter fell down from the dark hole, and I climbed it in a hurry, only having three hours to prepare myself for the party.
At the ceiling I found several things I could use for my costume. Old-fashioned necklaces lay in a small wooden box with the inscription 'Amelia Gilbert' on it. Rings, bracelets and earrings were all crumpled up in the corner of the box, and especially one of the rings caught hold of my eye. It was a silver ring with a small, very simple, yet breathtakingly beautiful stone. The ring too, had an inscription engraved on the inside of it. It said; "To my dear Amelia, I will love you, and cherish you forever. If you'll let me".
How romantic, I thought. This Amelia girl must have been real happy when she received this. I wonder what happened to them, I thought, and put the ring on my finger. It fit perfectly.
I let it stay on my finger, and I went searching for the dress. Dozens of boxes laid everywhere, and I had to look real close, to see the dates on the boxes. First there was1694, after that it was 1705, then it was 1787 and at last I found 1864. That was it, 1864. I carefully opened the fragile-looking box, excited as hell. I crossed my fingers, before letting my hands glide into the box, where they felt their way down. I came to a halt, when my fingers finally touched something silky. It was so soft, almost as soft as that little black kitten I had wanted when I was just a small girl. I took a grasp of the dress, and pulled it out of the box to see it closer, and in better light. It was stunning. It was the only word I found in my vocabulary that seemed somewhat fitting.
I looked at it. Oh, yes, I thought. This dress will be perfect.
I went to my room, feeling grateful that I had already found a solution for my party-costume. Once again, the thing about my diary lying on the floor, open, bugged me more than anything. I walked to the spot where my diary laid, and I picked it up, turning it around to see what page it was on. I read:
November 6th 2010
Dear Diary,
I woke up at three am today, with the feeling that someone was watching me. It sent chills down my spine, and I started to get worried. It kills me that Stefan is going away soon, but he has to find something else than bunnies to feed on, because they're very small, so they don't contain that much blood. Plus, I think maybe there isn't that many bunnies left in Fell's Church since Stefan's arrival. So I have to be strong, even though it feels like I might die without him near. Just the thought of him going away makes my body go stiff, and my heart go cold. Of course I had asked him if I could come with, but I knew he wouldn't want me to, because he's so ashamed of what he is, and what he eats for dinner. But when the feeling of being watched welled over me, I didn't much think of Stefan. I thought of Damon. Stefan's evil, older vampire-brother, who'd once, loved the same girl as he. I feel a hint of jealousy every time I think of Stefan and (stupid me) Damon with another girl.
But I always shrug it away, trying not to dwell on the past.
Anyways, back to Damon. The thought of him watching me is unnerving, yet I also feel this strange sensation ripple through my body. Even though Damon is evil, he is also the most gorgeous man on the planet. I know, it sounds like I'm cheating on Stefan in my mind already, but to me, Stefan is the most beautiful boy in the universe. Still, the thought of Damon watching me when he could have any other girl on the planet, it's just so... I don't know! I'm not even supposed to think about this! Damon is my vampire-boyfriends evil, self-loving older brother. So why can't I stop thinking about him? It's so frustrating. Especially when Stefan told me that he had asked Damon to look after me while he was gone. I don't need a baby-sitter. And that's what I told him, Stefan. But Stefan doesn't listen when it comes to me not wanting to be in safety all the time. He just... ignores me, which is kind of annoying, since I'm not a kid.
I'm sorry Diary; I have to say my farewells now. It's nearly 4 am! Time flies by quickly when one is upset and scared (and guilty of having lustrous feelings towards one's boyfriend's older brother. Shit. Did I just use the Damon and lustrous in the same sentence?).
Goodnight,
Elena Gilbert
I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Oh, no. Oh, God, no! I thought desperately. Oh, please, no. Of course, everything made sense now. It was Stefan who had read my journal. That was why he'd left. It wasn't because there weren't enough animals he could chew on. It was all because of me. Stefan thought I was in love with Damon. I had to do something. I would go after him. I would. I would leave right after the Halloween-party. I'd promised Bonnie and Meredith I would go even though I didn't have a partner, so I couldn't – wouldn't bail on them. Not after Bonnie got so worked up. I knew Meredith was looking forward to it as well, but she always put on a cool facade. Besides, I was already wearing the dress, and it would be such a waste not to make an appearance with it on.
I went to the bathroom. I cast a glance at my reflection in the mirror. God, I looked tired. And white like a ghost. Or hey, white as a vampire. I giggled hysterically at my little comparison. Boy, I did not feel very good.
I put on some natural make-up, since I was going Stefan-hunting after the party. I searched for some lip balm, thinking it would be too much putting on lipstick. That thought remained in my head until I found something. I caught my breath, and took hold of the small, silver cylinder. Tears welled up in my eyes. This had been my mother's. It had been her favorite lipstick. She'd been saving it a lot, but I remembered one time, the only one time when she'd put it on.
"Elena, my darling. What do you think?" I stared at her. She looked so beautiful. I envied her. I envied her long, blonde hair. Mine was still a little short from cutting it in kindergarten, but it was coming around. At least that was what my mother told me. "Beautiful" I squeaked. My mother laughed. Another thing I envied her. Her laugh was so musical. Every time she laughed everyone would laugh with her. She kissed me on the cheek, leaving a red lip-mark.
"So where are you and daddy going since you're making yourself so pretty?" I asked her. "I'm not going anywhere, but your daddy is going to visit his friend, your 'uncle', John." I pondered a little about this. "Then how come you're wearing red lipstick, mommy?" I was really confused about this. "I just wanted to be as beautiful as my daughter, while I spend every minute of this day with her." She stated, without a hint of a lie. She just smiled at me, showing her beautiful white teeth. I felt so happy I could explode, and I said, "You don't need make-up, momma. You're always pretty. You're the most pretty momma in the world," I said. And I meant it.
A tear slipped past my closed eyelids, and fell to my lips, the taste of salt reaching my tongue. I dried my cheek, and looked at myself in the mirror. Hard. Well, might as well go all out, I thought. I popped open the lipstick, and put it to my lower lip. I hesitated. Momma would have wanted this, my inner child-voice told me. So I did it. Thereafter I looked in the mirror again, shocked to see my mother staring at me. No, wait. That wasn't my mother; it was I, Elena Gilbert. I sighed, wishing she could see me now. More tears filled my eyes, and I could barely see, but I would not shed them. Not now. She would have wanted me to have fun. Smile. Be careless. She would not have me cry.
I did some finishing touches and walked downstairs, meanwhile grabbing my brown leather-bag from The Bridge. It didn't really go with my dress, but I had packed a lot of stuff, clothes, toothbrush, a stake in case it would be needed, etc., and I couldn't care less, if people thought I had lost my sense of fashion. Caroline would probably gloat.
I went into the living room, finding Judith making sure Margaret's costume was completely done. Judith hated not finishing something – especially something she considered a masterpiece. And I must say, Margaret really did look cute. She was in her princess-phase – been there – and she was wearing an ice-blue dress. It looked like something I would have worn. In fact, I think it was a miniature-copy of a dress I wore, later tore, last year.
Margaret looked up, mouth falling open. I glanced behind me to see what she was looking at, but I didn't find anything, so I turned around to ask Margaret what she was staring at. But when I found her gaze, I realized it was I. Her mouth was hanging open... because of me. Slowly Judith whirled around to see what Margaret was looking so ravenous at, when her mouth fell open as well.
"Elena," she said, stammering. "You look beautiful. Just like your mother". Once again, I felt like crying, and I do think that a tear or two sneaked its way out of the corner of my eye and down my cheek. Judith stood and made her way past the couch so that she could give me a hug.
That was when the doorbell rang.
