Title: All Tony Remembered
Word Count: 703
Main Character(s): Howard Stark, Tony Stark
Notes: ...Another AvengersHeadcanons drabble. someonefinallystarted asked for more Howard Stark headcanons, and this happened. Interpretations of Howard Stark are many and variable, but this is my take on his MCU self. No ownie.
It had been one thing to be part of the exciting project to make the world's most powerful weapon, and quite another to see it used on living people and the subsequent effect on the world. Between the loss of Steve Rogers and the first atomic bomb, 1945 was a sobering year for Howard Stark. He never lost his faith that technology could make the world a better place, and the birth of his son many years later only rejuvenated his drive to improve people's lives. Some of his experiments were very dangerous, due to the technology of the time. He was willing to risk his own life to create the tech to make it safe for Tony to experiment for himself in the future, but Tony wanted to experiment now, and seeing his young son wandering into his labs always frightened Howard. He panicked, he shouted, and breathed a sigh of relief when Tony was safely out of the line of fire, promising himself he'd make it up to the boy later.
All Tony remembered was that Howard was always busy, and often shouted.
The very first Ark Reactor experiments with Anton Vanko were revolutionary, but they were also extraordinarily dangerous. Howard could still remember being blasted across a room by a mere fragment of the Tessarect, and they were working to recreate that power at a thousand times the size. He could inadvertently take out the whole building. He was grateful that Tony was starting at school, at an expensive, well-recommended school far away from the danger zone. Even if Howard accidentally took out the whole state, Tony would be safe.
All Tony remembered was that his father was happy to see him go.
Howard often only got to see Tony at bedtime, so bedtime stories were his forte. Most were about Steve Rogers, his much-missed friend. Steve had inspired Howard, and he wanted him to inspire Tony too. Steve had proved that heroes were real, and that what truly made people remarkable was what was inside of them. Tony's brilliance was obvious from a young age, and Howard knew that the boy was one day going to be far smarter than even him. That wasn't something that someone like Howard Stark would admit, but he thought it was obvious for all to see.
All Tony remembered was that his father had far better things to say about a long-dead soldier than he ever did about his own son.
The day that Tony's son was born, he was elated and he was terrified. He was ecstatic to meet his son, the child that he and Pepper had been waiting months for. He thought the child was the most beautiful, perfect thing he'd ever seen. He'd spent years creating the Ark Reactor and Pepper had made infinitely more wonderful in just nine months. Typical.
But he was afraid because he was still an Avenger. The Earth wasn't currently at risk, but if there was another alien attack, another supervillain, Tony knew he'd fight. He knew that there was still much work to be done to turn Earth into a safe paradise on a par with Asgard (Tony always did shoot for the stars). He wanted his son to live in that world, but he knew that to do that sometimes he'd have to abandon him. Sometimes he'd have to work instead of play. Sometimes, he'd have to send him away from the fight. His own lonely memories of his father had long made him determined to not be that person, to always put his son first, but how could he if doing so would put at risk the world that he wanted his child to live in?
For the first time in his life, he felt that he truly understood his father, and no matter how much he knew that it would hurt his son to relive his childhood, Tony knew that he might have no choice.
It scared him that the only thing he could think to do was the same thing that Howard had done; leave a recording, in case anything ever happened before he got to explain. To apologize.
History was repeating itself, and he had no choice.
