-sighs- You guys know this was only supposed to be a oneshot, right?
You people....
Fang: You realize you don't have to do what the reviewers tell you to, right?
Me: Yeah! I just felt like it!
Fang: Then stop complaining!
Me: No!
Fang: Why?
Me: Complaining and ranting are both hobbies of mine. I mean, really, just look at St. Fang's Poetry Corner! I've turned that thing into rant central!
Fang: It's less and less about poetry every day.....
Me: But, we're straying from the topic.
Fang: As always.
Me: So, onto the story!
An Extra Disclaimer!!: I usually try to use just one disclaimer per story, but since I'm writing another chapter to this, I'm just going to add that I don't own....a lot of other stuff. I have no clue what I may mention, so, well, you people are smart. If you don't know if I own it or not, Google it. Or ask me. Whatever.
I Claim!!!!: All OCs are MINE!!!! MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE!!! I am extremely protective of my OCs, so don't even think about stealing them. I've been known to loan out some, like Pooky and Spiffy with permission. I'd also like credit. But, that's not the point. The point is, DON'T TOUCH MY FLIPPING OCS!!!!!!
Saint's POV (I return!!!)
"Fang, that bookcase is there to store books. Not to be your personal perch."
Ever since I had cured Fang of his multiple-emotion-personality-thingy, he'd been following me around, which was good, since he was supposed to learn what to do from me, he'd been helping, which was equally good, and he'd been pigging out in the employee break room and stealing people's food, which was not so good. Now, he had taken to using the bookcase in my office to lounge on.
Fang just stretched out his wings, taking another bite out of his apple in the process. "What? Where am I supposed to sit?"
"I have chairs."
"You have only one comfortable chair that's decent enough to sit in, and you're sitting in it."
I looked up from the papers I was going over on my desk. "Fang, if it bugs you that much, go out and buy your own damn chair. Macy's is just down the road."
Fang rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I know. I chased Alice there last Tuesday." He threw his apple core into the trash. "Hey, I've got an idea. How about you give me my own office?"
Once again, I looked up from my papers. "Wait, Fang, I've got an even better idea! We could gouge our eyes out with sporks! Doesn't that sound like fun?!"
He glared at me. "What's wrong with having my own office?"
"Simple. You'd have a place to store all the other employee's food."
Before he could respond, my office door flew open.
"Saint!" Spiffy yelled, racing in, panting. "We have an issue down in the OC quarters!"
I rolled my eyes. "What now?"
"It's Cor again."
"Oh, great." I turned to Fang. "Guess what, boy? All your dreams are about to come true." I picked up the stack of papers I was going over and shoved them into his arms. "Go over those while I'm gone. And yes, you can sit in my comfy spinny chair to do it."
I followed Spiffy out of my office. He escorted me threw the halls, passing a couple patients in the process. King Leonidas was trying to conquer the printer. Again. I saw one of my therapists giving the White Witch of Narnia an ink blot test. Obviously, it wasn't going well. Her response to every blot was 'Son of Adam! Die!'
We finally made it to the door to the OC quarters, where Pooky was standing guard. When I started to go in, Pooky and Spiffy didn't follow. "Aren't you guys coming?"
They both shook their heads. "It could get ugly in there." Spiffy said.
"This is more than just Cor, isn't it?" I asked.
They both just nodded. "We're......going to Andrew's to play ROFLcopter. See ya!" Pooky said. They ran around the corner.
Those two were useless sometimes.....
I walked down the eerily silent halls of the OC quarters. This was weird....where were they all? I decided to check the huge Multi-Purpose Room at the other end of the quarters.
As I headed towards the room, I saw one familiar face.
"Hey, Quil."
He just waved as he walked along, singing his latest song. "Very Superstitious!!!"
I made it to the huge double doors of the Multi-Purpose Room. Taking a deep breath, I opened the door.
"SAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNTTTTT!!!!! GET OVER HERE AND FIX THIS MESS!!"
"Felicity Nightingale, calm the flip down!" I said to the angry bird-girl. Her black hair was frazzled, and she was pointing menacingly at another bird-teen, a boy, who was staring blank-faced at a wall, sitting in a chair.
I sighed, making my way through the crowd of OCs towards the boy. Cor. He was blonde, tall, and deadly. Well, normally. I'd been having some trouble with his emotions, or lack thereof, lately. It was much like the issue I'd had with Fang, minus the emo scowl. I waved my hand in front of his face. "Cor?"
Nothing.
"Cor?" I said, a little louder.
Still, nothing.
"COR!!!" I whacked him with a herring.
"Huh?" He said, shaking his head. "Why do I smell like fish?"
I turned to Felicity. "See? No big deal."
"But it is a big deal, Saint." She answered, still slightly pissed. "He's been doing that ever since you started thinking about writing that story about him. The story you never did get to writing, by the way. Something you've been doing to most of us...."
I sighed. Not this rant again. "Felicity, I can only work on so many stories at a time. I will get to Cor's eventually, as I will get to all of you. You just have to have patience."
"Patience!!" She spat. "Some of us have been patient for so long, we could file for Social Security! Just look at poor Old Man River!"
She pointed to Old Man River, who was falling asleep in his chair in the corner.
"Felicity, he doesn't count. He was created to be old. Hence the name."
"Whatever. Personally, I think I've been waiting long enough." She sneered. "I think you're afraid to write my story. You're afraid it's too cliche."
I nearly laughed. "Felicity, I'm not afraid to write cliches, as long as they're original enough not to be boring. Your story will come, Felly, it's just, well....."
"Well, what?"
"I don't think Fang's ready to deal with you yet."
"What's that supposed to mean?!"
"Felicity, you're so....wild. And Fang's so.....not."
"So? I'm his sister!"
"And I'm his Doctor! Therapist! Boss! Slave-Master! Thing!" I shot back. I wasn't quite sure which title to use.
"I'm his sister, too!" A little girl said, jumping into the fray.
"Meggy, hun, you'll get your chance, too." I reassured her.
"Well, I'm Max's brother!" Cor said from his chair, using a wet cloth to wipe the fishy-ness off. "And I'm just ignored! Completely ignored!"
I rolled my eyes. "Which is what part of your fic is about...."
"I'm Iggy's sister!"
I spun around to face Lilith. "Lil, the reason you don't have a story was because every time I tried to work on yours, you demanded I change your wardrobe every five minutes!"
"I'm Nudge's brother!"
I looked around for the voice and spotted Nate. "Uhh...Nate? No, you're not."
"Yeah I am! I look just like her!"
"Nate, you're the whitest kid I know."
"No, I'm not!"
"Nate, you're so white, you glow in the dark."
".....Damn."
"Now, please, all Flock siblings, or wannabe siblings..." I glared at Nate. "Please, we'll have a meeting about this sometime later. I need to get back to work!"
"What about the rest of us, Sainty?"
I turned around, already knowing what was coming. "Wen, we've discussed this...."
"I've been waiting so (censor) long for my own (censor) story, Elrond could be getting (censor) gray hairs by now!"
"Taurwen Thranduilion, the reason I haven't written your story is very simple."
"What the (censor) is it?"
"You swear to much. You're pissing off the censors!"
I pointed to the censors, where they were sitting at their desks, looking pretty pissed.
Wen flipped them the bird.
"What about...." There was a flash of lightning. "ME!!! Mwahahaha!!!" A dark-haired girl appeared in the lightning flash.
"Zelkora, I'm not even sure what kind of fanfic you'd fit into."
"What's so hard about fitting me in?"
"You're the daughter of a Goddess. You figure it out."
"What about us?" I heard two voices say in cute little southern accents.
I looked down to see the twins, Zerah and Pharez. "Once again, nowhere to put you."
"What about our big sister?" They pointed to Abby.
I just shrugged. "You know, there are a lot of you that exist for reasons even I, your creator, can't even fathom."
"Well I'm sure I have a point!" I voice said next to me. "If you can use Cody, you can use me!"
My eyes flicked to my right. "That's not exactly true, Luke. Or is it Lacy today?"
The guy, whowas dressed in the most elaborate outfit I'd see all day, which included a plaid shirt, a ball cap, and a skirt, just shrugged. "I haven't made up my mind yet."
"I want a story of my very own..." A vampire whined from behind me.
"I'll think about it, Shu."
"Why are you speaking to your shoe?" Justin, who was also nearby, asked.
"Not shoe, Justin, Shu." I pointed to the vampire.
"Oh, Shu!" Justin exclaimed.
"Why do you make fun of my name?!" Shu whined again.
"Oh, Shu, shoo." I told him, waving him away.
Justin took my arm at that point. "How about I escort you out of here so you can get back to work?"
I smiled. "Ah, what a gentleman you've turned out to be, Justin, despite your strange parentage."
Justin kindly escorted me out of the OC quarters, ending up escorting the lost Quil as well, who thanked him with his rendition of 'You Are My Sunshine.'
I began to work my way back to my office, making a mental note to schedule an OC meeting soon to work out this mess.
Unfortunately, as I made my way through the halls, I ended up in another confrontation.
You know, many people have said that, since I have captured Fang, I should capture Max as well. Reunite them. Make them happy. Keep the Fax coming! Now, though I'm not obsessed with Fax, I do quite like it, and have no problem with Faxness. Sure, looking at Fang sometimes, it's hard not to....keep him to myself. How about Saint/Fang? Sang? Faint? Any girl who had that kid in her clutches would think it, really. But, alas, I annoy the little bugger. Besides, I guess he has this thing for other girls with wings. So, I guess I should just reunite him with Max and continue my quest to kidnap either Orlando Bloom or Joe Jonas. Preferably, both.
But, there's just one little problem with that, concerning Max...
"GIVE ME THE COOKIES!!!! I'M THE LEADER, AND I SAY I WANT COOKIES!!!"
Let's just say, since that last Support Group, Max had gotten worse. I didn't think the time for reuniting them was now.
"Cookies!!!" She broke away from the two doctors who were holding her and ran towards me, grabbing the collar of my cloak. "Do you have cookies? Give me cookies! I want the cookies!! Feed the leader!! COOKIES!!!"
"Calm down, Cookie Monster." I said, gently pulling her hands off my cloak. "You can have cookies later, if you're good. You're not being very good right now."
She whimpered, but was silent.
"Good." I motioned for her doctors to take her back to her room. I straightened out my cloak.
"Just....wean her off the cookies slowly." I whispered to one doctor. "She won't survive quitting cold turkey."
I finally made it back to my office, where Fang was asleep at my desk, using my papers as a pillow.
I considered whacking the kid awake, but I just didn't have it in me. Eh, let him sleep. I grabbed another pile of papers and crawled up on top of the bookcase and proceeded to take a nap myself.
In the end, I was serenaded to sleep by Quil. "Cliiiiimb Every Mountain! Ford Every Stream! Follow Every Rainbow, 'Till You Find Your Dream!"
I'd have to ask him when he'd listened to 'The Sound of Music.'
Does anyone else fight with their OCs? Or am I just insane?
Fang: You're just insane. And annoying. And there will never be a such thing as Saint/Fang.
Me: Alas.
Wen: -censor-
Me: Shut up.
Felicity: Fang! I'm your sister!
Fang: WTF?!
Me: -knocks Felicity out- When did you guys escape?
Zelkora: -appears in lightning bolt- 5 minutes ago. Quick, to Friendly's! I'm hungry!
OCs: Friendly's!!! -stampede-
Fang: -flies the two of us to safety- Nevermind. They're insane.
Me: Yep.
Fang: But you created them....
Me: True.
Fang:.....I give up.
R&R?
Oh, any OCs interest you? Would you like me to use any of them? Suggest it! Cor's story already has an outline and Felicity's impatient for one.
