It was nightfall upon Spooner street and Rowena was in the kitchen helping Lois prepare tonight's dinner. Meg, Chris, and Stewie were sitting at the kitchen table. Chris was studying for school and Meg was reading a magazine. "Mom, my lips are too thin, can I please get collagen injections?" Meg begged, looking up from her magazine. "Meg, you don't need to change the way you look. You know, most of the worlds problems stems from poor self image." Lois says. "Yeah, Meg. You look great." Rowena compliments before a cutaway scene interludes:
A young Adolf Hitler was working out at a gym where a muscly looking man had women hovering around him, giggling as they felt his biceps. Adolf scoffed as he watched the scene.
"Excellent, the mind control device is nearing completion." Stewie announced, holding the device up in pride. "Stewie, I said no toys at the table." Lois scolded, waving a finger at him while holding the device. "Damn you, vile woman!" Stewie cursed. Rowena sighed, looking after Stewie was a handful, even with Lois around. "You've impeded my work since the day I escaped from your wretched womb." Stewie whined while holding up a screwdriver.
"Oh, don't pout honey, you know, when you were born; the doctor said you were the happiest looking baby he's ever seen." Lois soothed, patting Stewie gently on his football shaped head. "But of course, that was my victory day, the fruition of my deeply laid plans to escape from that cursed ovarian bastille. Return the device, woman!" Stewie shouted, pointing the screwdriver at Lois. Lois handed the device to Rowena who opened a cupboard and stowed it away. "No, toys, Stewie." Lois said. "Vey well, then. Mark my words, when you least expect it, your uppance will come."
Rowena felt chills run up her spine and decided to ignore it. After all, Stewie was only a baby. "Mom, can I turn the heat up?" Meg asked, getting down from her chair and walking towards the thermostat, reaching for it. "Oh, don't touch the thermostat, Meg. Your father gets upset." Lois said as Rowena glazed the ham. "Come on, this thing goes up to ninety." Meg insisted defiantly and moved the dial to the right. The door suddenly opened next to her urgently. "Who touched the thermostat?" Peter questioned, glancing from side to side. "God, how does he always know?" Meg asked, fascinated.
"Brain implant, Meg. Every father's got one." Peter explained, pointing to a temple. "Tells you when the children mess with the dial." Peter added proudly. The back door opened quickly and a random man asked, "Hey, Peter, my thing went off. Your thermostat okay?" He touched a temple and pointed to the thermostat inside. Rowena laughed as she thought that couldn't be anymore ironic. "Yeah, it's alright." Peter said reassuringly. "Hey, is my kid over here?" A balding dark skinned man popped up from nowhere. "Forget it! False alarm." The white man held up a reassuring hand as a Chinese man appeared from afar.
"Whoa, ass ahoy." Brian interrupted, glancing to Peter's green pants. Rowena smirked as she thought what Brian said was funny. "Hey, uh, Peter. It's seven o'clock and you've still got your pants on. What's the occasion?" Brian asked, surprised. "He's going to a stag party." Lois answered for Brian with a harsh tone as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Now, Lois I work hard all week to provide for this family. I am the man of the house and as the man I order you to give me permission to go to this party." Peter demanded.
"Look, at least promise me you won't drink." Lois compromised. "Alcohol always leads to trouble." She added and Rowena nodded in agreement. "Come on, you're worrying about nothing." Peter neared Lois, calmly wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "Oh, remember when you got drunk off the communion wine at church?" Lois reminded him.
Flashback: A priest stands behind the podium in a full church. "And so the lord God smote poor Job with festering boils all over his body." He says. "Aw man, I hate it when he tells this story." The lord whispers from the benches. "Yet, miraculously, Job was still able to retain his dignity." The priest continued as Peter was bent over, sipping a liquid from a golden cup. Peter coughed from the sip and asked, "Whoa, is that really the blood of christ?" "Yes." The priest responded. "Man, that guy must've been wasted twenty-four hours a day, huh?" Peter commented. End of flashback.
"And then there was that the ice cream store." Lois added.
"Oh, butter rum's my favourite." Petter announced, holding the ice cream cone where he and his family stand around a table at the ice cream parlour. Peter licked the ice cream once and fell face first into the table in front of him. Brian ascends from the floor beside Peter. "And remember you had an Irish coffee the day we went to see Philadelphia?" Brian asked, making everyone look at him.
The family was at a theatre, the people inside were crying except for Chris, Meg, and Peter. "I got it, that's the guy from Big. Tom Hanks, that's it. Funny guy, Tom Hanks. Everything he says is a stitch." Peter says, pointing at the screen. "I have aids." Tom Hanks's character announces on the film. Peter starts to laugh hysterically and Meg gives him cut eye.
"Promise me Peter." Lois demands. "Lois, honey, I promise. Not a drop of alcohol is gonna touch these lips tonight." Peter said, trying to sound honest.
