Okay so I want to thank everyone for the reviews last chapter. As if you didn't see this is more of a Joe story. Also more of the relationship between Billy and Joe as brothers. I really wanted to do this. And so far it's getting good reviews. I want to throw a big thank you to my lovely friend and beta reader Esther, who wrote the second flashback of this chapter. There will be more to come. So enjoy!
SexySadie88 - You shall find out soon! :)
St.Elmo-Lover - I got enough Four Brothers...lol. But I'm glad you like it so far. Thanks! :)
BEG75 - Thanks! I'm so happy you enjoy my non-NY stories...lol. I really wanted to do this and finally found a good storyline to do it. I hope I can keep it up! :)
Beccatdemon13 - Thanks! :)
Straight Edge Queen - Thanks! Yes, Joe was a underrated charater to me. I love Matt and his films. And I thought seeing a side of Joe, or at least more of Joe, would be nice.
"Why do you let him do this to you?" he asked the tiny blonde at his door. Her hair looked dingy and frayed and her eyes were red and brimmed with tears. Right now, she was far from the bubbly and breathtakingly beautiful girl he met a year ago.
He wasn't exactly sure why she ran to him after a fight, but he was happy she did. He liked having her around. The fact that she thought about him and ran to him for comfort and protection, made him feel like a better man. Especially because it was the self proclaimed gang lord of south Boston she was running from. So for her to run to Joe, made him feel better than Billy, for once.
Joe was in high school and although he didn't like it, Billy was making him go anyways. Joe knew why Billy wanted to keep him away from Bones but he couldn't grasp why Billy didn't want to take Joe along with him when he was doing whatever the hell he did on the streets. Joe came to thinking that Billy didn't want him around because he considered Joe weak.
Billy knew he was tough on Joe but the longer he stayed off the streets the better. He didn't want Joe to become what he became after the night that destroyed their lives for good, but he wasn't going to tell him that. Billy would rather Joe think he hated him then to tell him what he really felt.
'Hey, Darley!' a voice behind Joe called. He let out a big sigh and turned to face Matt Tanner. Matt's older brother, Charlie, was in tough competition with Billy over who was getting what streets. It wasn't pretty and Billy had made sure to keep Joe out of it.
'What, Matt?' Joe asked, trying not to look aggravated, knowing it would cause more damage.
'No big brother today?' Matt asked, looking around for the mustang. Joe shook his head and went to turn away.
'Where you going?' Matt called out.
'Home.' Joe replied still not turning around. Matt jogged to catch up with him and when he did, he grabbed Joe's shoulder and spun him around.
'Don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you, Darley,' Matt seethed. Joe rolled his eyes and went to walk away again. That was where him and Billy differed. Billy would have knocked him a new one but Joe just wanted to go home. He didn't feel the need to fight when there was a chance to just walk away, even if someone like Matt Tanner pushed his buttons like this.
'I'm going home, Matt. Pick a fight with someone else.' Joe sighed.
Matt jerked him forcefully backwards. 'I told you not to walk away from me, you little fuck.' Joe dropped his bag when Matt's fist collided with his nose. He stumbled back and brought his hand up to his face, feeling blood trickling down. Now Matt had actually attacked him, things were different. Joe stood up straight and took a shot at Matt. His knuckles crashed into Matt's jaw, making him the one stumbling back this time. Joe was about to hit him again when an arm grabbed him from behind. He felt his breath catch as one arm tightened around his throat from behind and someone twisted his arm painfully behind his back. That's when Matt gave him a swift blow into the stomach.
'Not so tough when big brother Billy ain't around.' Matt laughed. Joe tried to shut out the pain in his stomach and smirked at him.
'And you're not so tough unless you have your fag friends to help you out.' he laughed, earning another fist to burying itself in his eye. He wasn't sure why they didn't hear the engine of the car across the street, but he was glad they didn't. As Billy pulled up he jumped out of his car and ran over to Joe, Bodie hot on his heels. Suddenly, Joe's throat was free and Matt was on the ground. Billy looked over at Joe and pointed to Matt.
'Get your shots in.' Billy ordered. Joe smirked and raised his leg to kick Matt in the ribs. He let out a loud wail and Billy smirked. After a few shots to both guys, Joe kicked Matt in the face for one last time and spat on the ground in front of him when Matt yelped in pain. ,Then, he turned to look at Billy, letting him know he was ready to leave. Billy grabbed Joe's shoulder and smiled.
'Good job, Joey.' he said and then turned around. 'But next time don't let me pick up your slack.' Joe nodded sadly and walked to the car. Billy always had to put him down when he was already on his knees. This was only the beginning of no one taking Joe seriously.
Billy had always been tougher, stronger and more attractive. Joe thought it was the fact that he had power that made him attractive. Girls liked that. They wanted a man that could have someone killed with the snap of his fingers. They loved Billy because he had all of south Boston wrapped around his finger. Everyone knew him and he knew everyone. It was safer and better that way. That was one thing Joe had to give him. He protected what needed to be protected. Whether it was his goods, his gang, or his family, Billy always kept them safe. It was something that was important beyond anything else, Billy taught Joe.
Joe wasn't even sure there was a time when he and Billy actually got along. He barely remembered life before his mom died but he knew it was better than after she was gone. When she was alive she took care of him and Billy. She showered them with love and everything they needed. And she tried to make sure to keep Bones as far away from them as she could. No one knew why she stayed with him. But she did and for a while she made sure that Billy and Joe could be the innocent kids they were.
Joe didn't look like a Darley. Yes, he was tall. Yes, he was covered in tattoo's. He even was strong. But he wasn't nearly as scary, intimidating or brutal as Bones or Billy. At least, that's what everyone thought. Joe had the Darley genes in him. He just didn't use them every second of the day. He didn't feel the need to be pissed off all day or yell at people all the time. He didn't want to live his life like that. He was 23 years old and he wanted to remember his life as a fun time.
Then again, he wanted to fit in. He did the things the other guys did just so he could get the tiniest amount of respect from Billy and his gang. He wanted to be taken seriously. Airynn, without knowing it, put a damper on that. They saw him chase after her and rolled their eyes. She was nothing to them. She was the spoiled brat that she had grown up to be. Joe tried to tell them that she was changing, that she didn't look at life that way anymore. But they judged her on her appearance and they didn't understand that the whole reason Airynn was out here was to get away from her old self, make a new life and stop judging people by how they looked.
"I don't know. It's not like I ask him to put me down, Joe." Airynn whispered, looking down at her feet. Joe felt his heart break every time he saw her this way. She was way too beautiful to be crying. Those bright blue eyes were not meant to cry.
"Come in." He said opening the door more. She stepped inside and instantly wrapped her arms around herself. He knew why she did it and he hated it. He knew Billy was to blame.
It was a form of insecurity for Airynn. She felt the need to hold herself because she didn't feel anyone would hold her. Billy had gotten her to the point she felt out of place no matter where she was. Every time she wakened into a different place her defenses went up and she cowered away. It was a way for her to comfort herself and Joe blamed himself for that. He felt he wasn't man enough to take care of her. He couldn't keep her safe like Billy could. He couldn't measure up to Billy.
That's what Airynn hated about him. She hated how he always compared himself to Billy. She hated how he let people compare him to Billy and let it get him down when they told him how useless he was compared to his brother. She didn't think he needed to be compared to him, Joe was his own personality and to Airynn, Joe was the better man. There was no comparison. Billy could never be what Joe was, like Joe could never be what Billy was. That was all there was to it. And now, even though in her heart she knew it had been Joe all along, standing here in front of him crying made her feel less of a person. It made her feel even further away from the girl she left and the girl she wanted to be.
"Stop that." Joe scolded. She looked over at him and blinked back tears.
"Stop what?" she asked, thoroughly confused and thinking he was about to jump at her for being this way. Joe read it on her face and rubbed his chin.
"I'm not going to yell at you, Air. I'm not him." he told her gently and then pointed to her arms. "Stop holding yourself. You got me for that, right?" he smirked at her. Usually, she would have smiled back but tonight was different. She didn't want to play coy with him and pick on him for flirting. Tonight she simply wanted him to hold her.
She just nodded, letting a whole new flow of tears run down her cheeks. Joe had counted on her to keep him at bay. He was surprised at her reaction, but immediately reached his arms around her and pulled the girl into him. She had come here broken and confused, wanting to make a new life but because of Billy she was worse. He rubbed her back as she cried into his chest and he kissed her temple as her cries became softer. Airynn had almost forgot what it felt like to be held like that. Anytime she would cry Billy would laugh at her or worse, hit her. She tensed thinking of him and accidentally dug her nails into Joe's chest. He felt her tense and pulled back slightly, pulling her chin up as he did.
"I'd never do this to you." he whispered, looking deep into her blue eyes. They were still just as beautiful even though they were shimmering with tears.
"I know." she sniffed.
"I'd never hit you. I'd never make you cry." He sighed and wiped a tear away with his thumb. "And I'd never give you a reason to run away."
He heard them yell at each other as he gave Billy a frightened look. His brother pressed his ear against their bedroom door, listening intently to the voices screaming at each other. 'Billy, I don't want…', Joe started, whimpering as he heard something smashed in living room downstairs.
'Shut up!', Billy hissed, cutting him off in mid sentence. 'Stop whining, Joe!' He turned to look at his little brother and immediately felt sorry for having snapped at him. Joe sat in the far corner of the room, as far away from the door as possible and he was shaking like a leaf. Sometimes Billy forgot that Joe was only seven, like he forgot that he was just twelve years old. The fights, the beatings and the feeling of not being safe had made him feel older than his age, had put him on his guard whenever he had to deal with other people. Billy had learned the hard way that it was better to attack than to defend.
Billy thought it was strange for Joe to react so differently to fights. Sure, he was younger, but Billy didn't think Joe would ever be able to be strong like he was. It was the reason why he protected him, Joe just didn't have the survival instincts he had. Joe would sit there, trembling and whimpering, until someone told him – no, made him- do differently. Billy just couldn't understand that it wasn't Joe's nature to seek out confrontations and it pissed Billy off beyond anything to see Joe act like this while he should stand up for himself.
Billy made his way across the room, pulling Joe to his feet. 'Stop that!', he spat at him, 'You're acting like a baby. You know I keep you safe!' Joe's lower lip was still quivering but he nodded. 'Crying never did anyone any good,' Billy stated.
'Can we go now?' Joe asked, trying to hide his fear as best as he could, but he couldn't help to jump at the screams of his mother and the shattering of more furniture and by the look of it, Billy had been startled, too.
'OK. Let's go, then.' Billy turned and head back to the door, opening it and peeking into he hallway. He didn't have to tell Joe what to do or to keep up now, he knew Joe would tail him like a dog, afraid to be left alone.
As they slipped into the dimly lit landing and sneaked down the stairs, the voices became louder.
'You think I enjoy this? You think I actually like having to put you in you fucking place?' a man's voice barked.
'I took that money to buy something for the boys! They are your children, too!' yelled a woman.
'I fucking told you to shut up!' As their fathers words drifted into the hallway, they heard their mother gasp.
In the eerie silence that fell, Joe grabbed hold of Billy's shirt, looking at him. The confused expression on his face told Billy that Joe, as young as he was, had picked up that this was a different silence than the ones that usually took place when their mother finally gave in and obeyed to whatever Bones told her to do. Billy pointed at Joe and then at the front door. Tiptoeing Joe made his way through the hallway, softly opening the door. Then he stayed there, waiting for Billy to tell him what to do next.
Billy pushed the door to the living room ajar. It took a while for his brain to process what he saw. Bones had pointed a gun at his mother and both of his parents stood frozen, staring at each other. As he heard the first shot, he wanted to rush in to save whatever there was left to be saving, but something prevented him from moving his feet. He could only stand there, the sound of the gunshot ringing in his ears.
The second shot brought him to his senses. As he saw his mother fall down, his survival instinct took him over once more and he turned to look at Joe, who stood still like a statue, paralyzed by the sound of his mother's last scream. Billy saw the horror on the face of his little brother as he dragged him outside and he heard himself scream for help as he ran down the street.
Airynn looked up at him and smiled. Without even thinking Joe leaned down and captured her lips. Their lips lingered for a moment before Airynn pulled back a few inches. She looked at him again before snaking a hand around his neck and pulling him down to her. He didn't have to beg entrance for long as she graciously parted her lips and welcome him in. He sucked on her full lips and let the tasted of her tears fade away. Both forgot about the whole situation as their tongues mingled, first gently but more hungry as their kiss endured. Both enjoying the feel of being with one another; Joe relishing the feeling of finally having her and Airynn happy to be wanted with such passion. Nothing and no one else but them existed in this moment and as they lost themselves in it, both knew: It was right.
You don't know how long I have wanted
To touch your lips and hold you tight
You don't know how long I have waited
And I was going to tell you tonight
But the secret is still my own
-Alone by Heart
