A/N: This story is not exactly what I expected it to be, but I started it such a long time ago that inspiration changes I suppose. Why can't these two idiots just be happy? BECAUSE THEY CAN'T. This is almost like self-insert fiction. The whole "We obviously really like each other but I can't deal with it so just let me move on… but you can't move on because I love you and I'll get jealous." Yeah, it never works. That's probably why this chapter is all Blair POV- I find myself pulling more and more from my own experiences as of the last few months. ANYWAY, I hope it's well received.
I've gotten so much writing done lately it's weird? This never happens.
Please review if you have a moment! I feel like I never ask that, but it's always nice to know that people are still reading.
xo Gia
Blair sorts the shoes in her closet by color. Then she arranges them from tallest to shortest heel. Two whole shelves are dedicated solely to her black shoes. They are staples to anything she wears.
Walt watches her in the doorway, amusement on his face.
"Are you ready yet, babe?" He asks, a sigh escaping him. "It looks tidy enough."
But Blair is not ready. She moves each pair of shoes so that they're facing her straight on, perfectly straight. Everything in her closet must be just so, just like everything in her life must be just so, which is why Dan Humphrey is not in her life anymore.
He was disruptive, an error in the system. And she tells herself that it was all physical, lust, because if there's one thing Blair is exceptional at, it's lying to herself.
Walt approaches her from behind and wraps his arms around her waist, causing her to skew a pair of shoes on the shelf.
"Dammit," she mutters. At least Humphrey knew to never disturb her when she was organizing her closet. He would wait patiently on her bed with a magazine until she was ready.
Walt says, "Relax," and the word alone causes her entire body to tense.
x
Dinner with Nate and Alice goes as expected. Blair can't get two words in because all Walt and Nate can talk about is soccer. She feigns interest in Alice's environmental work, but when Nate kicks her leg from under the table, she knows she's failing.
It had been exactly twenty three days since Dan Humphrey showed up at the pent house confessing his undying love and devotion. She had told him to let her move on and he listened. No phone calls, texts, no late night visits. He never showed up to her office with coffee and flowers. She hated what a good listener he was.
Externally, Blair had moved on. She had a man sitting next to her at the table, a man that she called her boyfriend. Walt had been staying at her place for the past couple weeks, since he found it more comfortable than a hotel.
So yes, externally Blair had moved on.
Internally, she still hadn't really let Dan go.
And as if the stars themselves were playing a trick on her, Dan Humphrey walks into L'Aperatif and passes their table.
His hair has gotten a bit longer, scruff covering the bottom of his face. Blair can feel her face flush immediately. Without thinking, she runs a few fingers through her waves, smoothing them out.
"Dan!" Nate yells, and Blair contemplates paying him back for his kick in the leg earlier.
"Nate, hey," he gives Nate's hand a soft slap. It isn't lost on Blair that his eyes light up as soon as he notices her. "Hey Blair."
She gives a gentle nod, "Humphrey."
His grin widens at the surname, and Blair finds herself smiling back, no control over her actions. It had been twenty three days, and damn it if she didn't still feel the same.
"Dan," Nate starts, to break the silence. "You've met Alice before, but this is Blair's boyfriend Walt."
Dan breaks their gaze and his smile seems to falter for a moment, then he recovers.
"Right, cool. Nice to meet you," he nods, reaching to shake Walt's hand.
Nate invites Dan to join them, but he claims to be meeting someone, a claim that makes Blair's stomach twist. He waves a few tables down, and she looks over her shoulder at a beautiful redhead in a white cocktail dress. Blair compares the girl's tan skin to her own ivory complexion and cringes to herself.
He says a quick good bye and makes his way to the table, his back to Blair for the night.
Seconds later her phone vibrates and a text flashes across her screen.
Relax Waldorf, she's just a friend.
Blair huffs, typing a quick response and shoving her phone back in her purse.
The way Serena was your "friend?"
Her fingers rattle on the table as she waits for a response that never comes. Blair rolls her eyes, sliding her phone back into the pocket of her purse and focuses her attention on Walt. She wills herself not to look over her shoulder again for the rest of the night.
And when Dan leaves, hand on his date's waist, Blair can't help the scoff that escapes her.
"They make a nice pair," Walt says, finishing his coffee.
Blair swallows, "Yep."
x
Blair doesn't know how she got to this point, stumbling to the bar at Marquee to order another gin and tonic.
Walt is back in England for a wedding and Blair is in the Upper East Side with only Nate and Alice to keep her company, which drives her to drink, excessively. She props her elbow up on the bar and ignores the lingering glances of the men near her.
"Blair!" A voice rings out over the music and Blair turns, still holding the bar for balance. She rolls her eyes, takes a long sip from her drink.
"Are you stalking me now?" She hates herself for saying it, hates how immature she comes off sometimes. But Dan doesn't seem to mind, just smiles and shakes his head.
"I'm here with some guys from The New Yorker, and well, it's kind of hard not to notice you." His eyes flicker over her tight maroon dress and Blair feels herself blushing. It's just the alcohol, she tells herself.
His look is very understated, the sleeves of his grey shirt pushed up and a pair of black jeans that ride slightly too low for Blair not to notice the band of his briefs. She had gotten used to him wearing suits to work. Blair blinks a few times to force herself back into focus.
"Nate's here somewhere," she slurs, "with Alice. I can't really stand her so I'm avoiding them."
Dan laughs, his head tipped back. She missed his laugh. "Not interested in saving the world and all that?"
Blair smiles, meeting his eyes. She knew he was bound to go into a Humphrey speech about supporting your friends' relationships even when you didn't necessarily agree with their choices. He used to do that when he was still seeing Serena. Of course, Blair's instincts ended up being right about that one.
"So, where's Walt?" He asks, the question causing him to tense slightly.
Blair sets her glass on the bar and licks her lips, careful. "Out of the country for the weekend."
Dan nods a few times, seemingly satisfied with her answer.
He leans close, his mouth pressed to the shell of her ear, "I miss you. All the time."
Blair takes a deep breath, her chest feeling tight and heavy, nods. "I miss you, too."
She can feel his smile on the shell of her ear, teeth grazing it gently.
"Where's your girlfriend?" Blair asks, voice weak.
Dan doesn't respond, just rolls his eyes. He changes the subject and they try to talk about other things, normal things: work, family, friends. Anything to avoid the subject of each other's romantic relationships. Although she had yet to confirm that Dan was in fact in a relationship. The avoidance eventually stalls and they're left with a few moments of silence. Blair stares out at the dance floor, but she can feel Dan's eyes still on her profile.
"I want to kiss you right now," he says. She hates his voice, the way he can sound so shy, yet so sure of himself.
"You think that's a good idea?" Blair asks, tilts her head to the side.
Dan sighs, stepping closer to her. She can feel heat radiating from his body.
He leans down, his face inches from hers.
"I think it's a terrible idea," he whispers.
Blair swallows, a hand rising to his chest. Dan moves in closer, but Blair is already gently pushing him away by the fabric of his shirt. She closes her eyes and lets out a deep breath, before turning and making her way to the exit.
She rides home in a cab listening to Alice's work with state parks on the West Coast.
