"You're planning to do what?" Max asked, knowing he was essentially screaming at his father. He was looking back and forth between his papa and his brother, unsure of who he was angrier with. He was angry with his papa, that was certain. But he also wasn't terribly surprised that his papa was planning to take away him immortality. That was something he had seen coming. He'd been in denial about it, of course, but it wasn't as though he hadn't been watching his papa get worse and worse over the last few weeks.
Max was fairly certain he had never been so angry with Rafael at all. Rafael's only response to their papa's announcement was, "If that's what you want." It was almost impossible for Max to understand why Rafael was being so calm about it.
"And you're telling him this is okay?" Max said, turning on his bother without a second thought. "Do you want to lose them both?" He knew his voice was full of anger, but he didn't even begin to try to calm himself. He could feel his heart beating far more rapidly than it ever had at the mere thought of losing his papa as well.
At the moment, Max couldn't differentiate one thought from another. His mind was running so quickly that nothing had the time to sink in. The only thing that really had the time to make any impact was the pain that was quickly taking over every inch of his body. Before either his papa or Rafael could say anything in response to him, Max was out of the door and running down the stairs that led up to the apartment. He had no idea where he was going, he just knew that he had to get away.
When he'd imagined losing his papa, he'd thought of Magnus as deliberately taking his own life. He'd thought that he would walk into the apartment one day to find his papa dead because of something he'd specifically done to himself. Yet somehow, this was much worse than that. If his papa took away his immortality, Max would have to spend years watching him slowly age and die, a situation that would cause Max more and more pain with every passing day.
Before he could figure out what was going on in his mind, Max realized that he had ended up at his dad's grave. He fell to his knees before the grave, unable to tear himself away from it once he realized that was where he was. He didn't move when he heard footsteps behind him; he was too numb to try to use the effort to fend whoever it was off.
When his papa sat down beside of him, Max surprised himself by staying where he was. "Max, I'm sorry," Magnus said, his own pain evident in his voice. "I know you're hurting, but I want you to talk to me about this. Please don't shut me out, son."
When Max finally allowed himself to respond to his papa, he was much less angry than he would have predicted he would have been. "I just don't understand why you want to do this, Papa," he said, trying to keep his voice as steady as possible. "I know you're in pain, but did you even really think about Rafael when you decided this? Or me?"
"You know that you two were the first thing I thought about," Magnus replied, immediately on defense in the way that Max knew all too well. "You're going to have years to heal before I leave you, too, Max. You're still hurting over losing your dad; your mind is full of pain already. Max, you'll be fine. I know you will."
For several moments, Max considered getting up and walking away from his papa, suddenly so overwhelmed by a mix of anger and pain that he had no idea what to do. But then he found himself speaking and he was unable to stop himself. "You don't get it, Papa. I don't care how long it will take for you to die. You'll die eventually, and that's not something I'll ever be able to take. You say you thought about me and Rafael, but I don't think you really did."
Max paused to take a deep breath, but he didn't give his papa time to say anything. "I've always expected to lose Dad, that was something I had thought about almost every day of my life from the time I was old enough to understand that he would leave us. But you aren't seeing the bigger picture. Before you and Dad adopted me and Rafael, you were afraid of being left alone, right?"
There was no need for Max to look over at his papa to know that he was right, so he continued speaking. "As if losing Dad wasn't enough, but now you're condemning me to losing you, too. But that's not the only thing, Papa. You're condemning me to the exact fate you were always afraid of. It's not just about losing you; I'm going to lose Rafael, too."
It was then that Max realized tears were streaming down his face, but he didn't stop to wipe them away. "You've always told me that you would be here for me no matter what. When I was little and got upset because I realized that Dad and Rafael were going to leave us, you were the one to hold me, dry my tears, and tell me that you would never leave me, that we would always have each other. What happened to that promise, Papa?"
Max allowed more tears to fall when he felt his papa's arms wrap around him. Despite himself, he turned into his papa, unable to resist the comfort he so desperately needed. "Things are different now, Max. I thought that I would heal; I thought that I would end up being okay. But I was wrong, and I am so sorry for that." When his papa leaned down and buried his face in Max's hair, Max felt every last piece of his composure break.
"I need you; why can't you see that? You promised, Papa." Max knew he was pleading; he knew he was being slightly immature. But the flood of pain that was replacing the numbness he'd had before was so overwhelming that he knew if he would not be able to stand up if he wanted to. "You promised."
Max didn't know how long he and his papa sat at his dad's grave; all he could feel was the hole that was growing in his chest. The thing that hurt him the most was that he knew there was nothing he could say to his papa to change his mind. So Max simply sat there, wrapped in his papa's arms, allowing the hole to grow, and wishing he could find a way to bring his dad back to them.
Magnus couldn't help but admit that Max had been terribly right. What Max had told him had torn at his heart more than anything else over the past few weeks had, but Magnus couldn't shake the feeling that once he was rid of his immortality that he would be rid of the burden over his heart as well.
The thing that made this worse was the fact that he knew he was being selfish; Max had pointed that out perfectly. But Magnus didn't call Catarina to tell her the plans had changed. Mostly because he didn't have the courage to change them. So now he was curled up in bed with the Chairman, waiting on Catarina to arrive and wondering why he had ever allowed himself to fall so deeply in love with a mortal.
As he was generally prone to do when he was alone, he began reliving moments of his life with Alec. The moment that Alec had walked into his party, the moment Alec had kissed him in Alicante, the days they had gotten Max and Rafael, the day of their wedding, every happy memory rushing at him at once.
He had no idea how long it was before he heard the front door opening. At first, he simply thought it was Catarina, but then he realized that Catarina wouldn't have a key, so she would have knocked instead of simply walking in. At first, Magnus considered just staying where he was, too exhausted to really care about a possible intruder.
Then Magnus realized that he probably needed to make sure that someone wasn't attempting to rob him, so he got up off of his bed as quietly as possible. When he turned the corner to peer into the living room, Magnus was expecting to simply have to snap his fingers to take down a mundane, but he stopped in his tracks when he saw who it was. His first and only thought was that what he was seeing was utterly impossible. When he spoke, he barely heard his voice, his mind already in overdrive. "Alexander?"
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