A/N: Here it is! Chapter 2! Sorry it's taking so long to update...you know me. Busy busy BUSY! This chapter is dedicated to Adriel Kenobi who was kind enough to slap me around and wake me up to write this! haha...thanks, Adriel!

Disclaimer: We all know I own nothing. Why say it?

Chapter 2: Secrets Wearing Thin

Mical sat in a chair adjacent to where Amira was sleeping. It was such a relief to be off that dreadful planet but Mical knew it wouldn't be the last time that he would see Csilla. There was a great darkness there...he wasn't totally sure on what was causing it...but he was certain that he would eventually find out. He moved in his chair uneasily. So many worries plagued his restless mind. Everything had become so complicated. The Jedi always made things more complicated and Mical sometimes wondered if the Jedi were just as bad as the Sith.

After all, it was fallen Jedi who had caused the Jedi Civil War. It was Jedi that brought Darth Nhilius to Katarr, wiping out millions on its surface. It was the Jedi who failed to teach students responsibly. It was Jedi students who failed to grasp the Jedi Code and end up disobeying it. But mainly, it was Jedi like him that always caused the worst damage to the galaxy. Mical had disobeyed the Order by marrying Amira. Sometimes he had doubts about what he did...

If he hadn't married Amira, she wouldn't have been put in such a dangerous situation in the first place. Because of him, Amira could lose herself within her emotions, which was very dangerous and fatal for a Jedi. It was the path to the darkside. Mical furrowed his brow in concentration. So many things, bad things, had happened due to his carelessness. He was a Jedi and he should have known better.

The truth of the matter was that Mical had known the consequences...and also had ignored them completely. That was why love was so dangerous...it made you do things without thinking, without contemplating the affects it would have. Amira tossed uneasily in her sleep, and Mical frowned. How long could he protect her? He could protect her from physical harm...but he couldn't protect her from her heart. Mical wasn't even sure if he could protect himself from his own heart either.

Everything had gone so terribly wrong. Nothing was as simple anymore; everything was complicated. All these secrets that were being kept weighed heavily on Mical's heart and mind. He had always been so open and honest. Now he was keeping secrets...and from his own wife. It just wasn't right...it wasn't right at all. Meditation wasn't working anymore...and he could no longer sleep without seeing some of those terrible and horrid images.

Adumar had shown him things that he had never wanted to witness. It had also shown him things about himself...he was no longer so innocent and pure. That had been taken from him...he wasn't even the person he once was. The Jedi had taken that from him, twisting him into one of their own. Nothing belonged to him...especially his heart. His heart belonged to Amira. There wasn't a thing he could do about that either.

He loved her. He would always love her. But would their love destroy them? The question had been floating in his mind ever since he had married her. Mical knew they should talk about all these doubts and fears...but he just couldn't discuss it. He didn't want to worry Amira any more...she was under enormous stress. Which brought him to his next worry...the Jedi Council.

He knew that he had to report back to them. But Amira would probably be in trouble for leaving the Jedi when she was forbidden too. Bastila had briefly talked to him about everything...and he was immensely grateful to her for that. She had told him where to find Amira; how she had known where she was was still a mystery to him. Amira turned and let out a small gasp.

Mical walked over to her and placed his hand gently on her forehead and looked lovingly at her. She was so beautiful, even when she slept. But she was always so stressed and upset...Mical worried about her constantly. He couldn't help himself. He brushed away a strand of hair that had worked its way loose from her hair bun. She began crying and Mical didn't know what to do so he simply gathered her into his arms.

She continued to whimper every now and then in her sleep as Mical held her. He wanted so much to take away her pain...to make the galaxy a safe place for her to live in. But in the end, it only made matters worse. He should have never taken that assignment. He had left as Mical and come back...changed. He didn't like it...he hungered for the old days where problems didn't seem so impossible to conquer, where goals didn't seem so difficult to achieve.

"Mical." She whispered. He didn't know if she was talking in her sleep or calling for him so he answered her anyway.

"I'm here."

"No...you're dead. I killed you." She said sadly.

Mical shook his head sympathetically. She felt so guilty, even in her dreams. That made Mical feel even worse. He had placed this guilt on her. Most of her pain and suffering...was because of him. He kissed her softly on the top of her head. It was then he decided that he would not tell her. He could not tell her...it would just make everything worse. So he kept the secret to himself.

"I'm sorry, Ami." Mical said quietly. "I am so sorry."

Amira's eyes snapped open and she struggled for a moment, not recognizing who was holding her. "Oh Force, Mical."

He held her tighter, although gently, as to not put any pressure on her wounds. "It's alright. You're safe."

"So are you. Thank the Force. I thought it might have been a dream. I'm so glad you're alive, Mical." Amira said, while snuggling closer to him. She could feel the rise of his chest as he breathed and it was a welcome movement.

"I'm sorry, Amira." He said and she could see the distant and painful expression on his face.

"What's bothering you?" She asked softly while reaching up and touching his face gently.

"Nothing..." He replied, putting a fake smile up. He noticed the ring he had given her when he had proposed to her. "I remember when I gave this to you."

Amira nuzzled his neck lovingly. "How long is it going to take for us to be honest with each other?"

"It's just...I'm sorry for causing you so much pain. It's the last thing I wanted to do to you. By going on that mission...I thought it would benefit you." He paused. "I had no idea that it would do so much damage. I wanted to help...but all I seem to do is mess things up."

"Mical, what were you doing on Adumar? You never told me." She said grabbing a blanket and wrapping it around both of them. She felt so safe in his arms...and she had missed him so much.

"I was sent as a diplomat representing the Republic. But before negotiations could start the Sith found out I was on the planet. I had to continue to meet with the leaders of the planet in secret. I couldn't contact anyone outside of Adumar due to the Sith tracking me. It was comm. blackout. Bastila and Mandalore were the only ones that knew about this. We had to keep it a secret..." Mical explained, but could sense the anger from Amira.

"Bastila...Bastila knew? And she...she just let me believe a lie that almost destroyed me!" Amira asked angrily.

Mical sighed quietly. "It was for your safety that you didn't know. You would have come after me."

"No, I would have-" Mical gave her a knowing look. "You should have told me."

"I...I couldn't." He said, struggling for the right words. "You were a...a liability."

"A liability? So that's what I am? Just a liability! I'm your wife!" Amira shouted angrily and stood up defensively.

Mical stood up with her and took her hands into his own. "Amira..."

"No...don't even say anything. I just...I don't want to hear it." She said, tears in her eyes.

Mical could almost see the barrier go up between them. Things had changed between them. She didn't trust him...he could see it in her eyes. It was like a shot to his heart. "I...I'll be in the cockpit if...if you need me."

Amira watched with a heavy heart as he walked away. Why did she continue to do this? She just got her second chance to be with the man she loved...and here she was pushing him away. She was a fool. She slammed her fist against the wall...and began weeping. Her emotions were so out of control at this point that she was becoming emotionally unstable. She needed her head clear of worries, and stress, for when she talked with the Council.

But most of all...she needed Mical. She needed her husband. She needed love. She sunk to her knees and cried some more. She didn't know what to do anymore. Nothing was clear; everything seemed to be in the fog of secrecy. There were secrets every which way she turned, and it was starting to really affect her attitude.

"Mical..." She whispered softly through tears and clenched teeth. "I need you so much."

A/N: I have thought of another major plot twist...but I'm not sure if I want to do it or not...anyway, please review! Thanks!