Figured I'd give you some more on this story!!! I got some pretty decent reviews last time. I'm also sorry that I didn't get to update soon, however, I've been sick with the flu and then turned around and got a chest cold right after. Hopefully, this will hold you over.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
EPOV:
Okay. So, that shit wasn't awkward, or anything, right? I mean, yeah, I do want to use this to my total advantage, but I have to look like a total tool in front of her. She has to think that. What kind of guy do I look like right now? One without his balls in tact, that's what kind.
Today was an off day from my classes with Bella, so I was glad for that. Instead, however, I found myself having dinner with dear ol' dad. Great.
"So, son, Emmett and Jasper tell me that you're going to a sex therapist?" Yeah, my dad isn't known for his subtlety. I choked on my water.
"W-what?"
He chuckled. "Yeah. Said that you had your eye on someone special and this girl is supposed to help you win their heart or something." He shrugged. Then he got serious. "Son, are you gay?"
I had never, not in my whole life, wished that the earth would open up and swallow me whole, more than I did at this very moment. Because, in this precise moment, apparently the entire restaurant decided to quiet down and listen in on our conversation.
"What?! No! Why... what the hell makes you ask me something like that, dad?" I was mortified.
"It's nothing to be ashamed of, son. I support the gays!" He said a little too loudly, and I just prayed that he didn't rip his shirt open to reveal a rainbow shirt while singing the hits from WHAM!
"Dad, I'm really happy that you don't have a problem with gay people. But, I'm not gay. Like, not at all." I whispered/yelled.
He put his hand on my shoulder. "Your mother and I love you, regardless of who you choose to love, son. Just remember, STD's can still be spread, even if it's between a same sex couple."
I looked around for a blunt object to kill myself with. I contemplated asking if someone had a gun to just off me on the spot. Anything was looking better than that, right now.
"Dad. What gives you the idea that I'm gay?" I spat.
He smiled. "Well, we've never seen you bring a girl home. I mean, I heard you had sex with some girl at your band camp your senior year, but it's okay that you didn't like what the female gender has to offer. Hell, I know that I did some experimenting in my day."
"WHOA!!! No. Too much information, dad." I. Want. To. Die.
"It's okay, son! Your mother and I were high on acid." He shrugged, like it was the most natural fucking thing in the world for my dad to be accusing me of being gay and that he and my saint of a mother did drugs. Then he sighed. "Plus, Emmett might've mentioned that you don't even take a look at any of the women that supposedly flirt with you."
Fucking Emmett. Really? My own brother is a traitor. Asshole.
"Dad, I assure you. I'm totally straight." I tried to convince him. He just gave me the look that let me know he heard me, but he didn't believe me.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
When I got home from the dinner from the depths of my own personal hell, I found Emmett and Jasper playing X-box in the living room.
"So, how'd dinner go with dad?" Jasper asked. I growled. "That bad, huh?" See, I could at least depend on Jasper to have a neutral head on his shoulders, unlike my other brother, who apparently thought it was the funniest thing in the fucking world to lead my own father to believe that I'd rather be with a dude than a hot chick, hell any chick.
"Let's see. I just spend the last hour of my life wanting to throw myself in front of city traffic, because dear old dad got the impression from Shrek over here, that I like dick. He even went so far as to practically shout his love for all things gay related in the middle of the restaurant, while trying to convince me that he was okay with it. I tried to tell him that I was straight, but apparently he doesn't want to believe it. Then, for dessert, he let me know that he and mom, our own angel of a mother, used to trip on acid and he tried things experimentally. Yeah. Great fucking night." I shuddered.
Jasper didn't know whether to laugh or cry or puke. Emmett just laughed. That's his default setting.
"Let me get this straight. Because of the lack of vagina in your life, dad thinks you're batting for the other team." Jasper stated.
"Pretty much, yeah. And who the fuck thought it would be wise to tell dad I was going to see a therapist?" I threw my hands up.
Emmett laugh, of course. "Oh. Come on, broseph. You have to admit, it's pretty funny. I mean, I could see why a lot of people think you're gay. Then on top of that, you have like, zero skills at all on how to pick up a chick." He shrugged.
"Well, excuse the fuck out of me, if I don't think the lines 'hey baby, let me soak you in hot sauce and get busy' would work for me." I yelled.
"I'm just saying. You don't even try." Which, was true.
"Maybe I don't want to try. I want one person. That's it. What's so bad about that?" I argued. Jasper piped in.
"What's bad about it, is that you don't even try for THAT person, either. But, I think it's good that you happen to have the object of your desire as your own personal tutor of sorts. You are totally going to have to milk this for what it's worth. Think about it. You have the advantage that most men don't get in this life time. You have the opportunity to make this everything that she wants, and be close to the one you love. I envy you." He nodded, while Emmett stuffed his face with pizza.
BPOV:
So, after Edward left, I didn't know what to do. How did I get him? Him of all people? It's like God hated me. Before you get the wrong idea, I like Edward. It's just, he's such a dork. Nothing at all like James. Of course, I suppose I'm in the same boat as Edward is with his mystery woman. James doesn't know that I exist. Not really, anyway. Not to mention, he has a girlfriend, Lauren. They've dated ever since the beginning of time or something like that.;
"So! Bella! How'd things go with Edward?" Alice asked. She had this knowing smirk on her face. Gah. I think she is plotting.
"Whatever you're thinking, pixie, give it up. It's not happening." I warned.
She at least had the decency to look offended. "For shame!" She feigned mock hurt. "I was just asking how your little mission went, that's all. I always ask you that."
"Yeah, and everytime it's a guy, you think that there's some ulterior purpose to it. Well, there isn't. This guy is in love with some poor girl who probably has everything in the world going for her, and will be freaked the hell out when she realizes this loser is vying for her affections." I snorted.
She looked upset. "Bella, that was fucking rude. I've met Edward. He's a good-looking guy, not to mention, he's smart as hell. He's going to be like, a fucking brain surgeon or something some day. And here you are, bad mouthing him. To top it all off, you are kind of in the same boat. You're in love with that James dick, who doesn't know you exist."
"That's not true." I argued.
"Oh, really? Bella, just because he ran into you one time and then mumbled some half assed apology while he was checking out some other girl's tits doesn't count as knowing you're alive. It's kind of the opposite." Rose pointed out.
I threw my hands up. They just didn't understand anything. "Well, don't go putting Edward Cullen on a pedistal." It was all I had.
They both scoffed. Rose spoke up. "Personally, I think it's kind of romantic. I mean, he's pined for her from far away, and then he's going to finally take matters into his own hands and go through any lengths necessary for her to fall in love with him."
"I guess it is kind of romantic. I mean, he seemed really out of his comfort zone earlier." I pointed out. "I'll just have to make sure I do my best to get this guy his girl. I might not be able to have who I want, but that doesn't mean he shouldn't get a shot at his own happiness, right? He's just tired of being chicken shit about it." I nodded, kind of just to myself.
Alice clapped and Rose beamed. Why were they so on his side about this?
APOV:
Okay, so I totally found out from Jasper that Bella is who Edward has been in love with for so long. I just about lost it when she was talking down about him. He's a great guy and he'll be a total chick magnet by the time I give him a makeover. Then what is Bella going to do? She'll kick herself in the ass, that's what.
So, Rose and I tried talking him up as much as possible, because I'm a sucker for love, and both of them kind of need it.
RPOV:
Emmett told me that Edward was pining away for Bella. Now, I normally don't involve myself in other people's affairs, but really, nobody could be better matched than those two. Plus, he's going through all of this trouble to win her over, and how genius is it, that he has the advantage that most other guys don't have? He literally gets to pick her brain and find out what SHE wants, instead of guessing on it.
Not to mention, that guy deserves some ass. Not like, Victoria Shepard ass, either. Bella Swan ass. The grade A kind that makes a guy want to beg on his knees for all of eternity. Although, I'm pretty sure that Edward would do that, anyway, if that's what she said makes her happy.
So, to make sure this little plan doesn't go astray, Alice, the boys, and myself? We're going to make sure everything goes to plan. Bella's not going to run away from happiness, and we're not going to let her push Edward away from his.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
So, what do you think? I thought adding Rose and Alice POV's would be a good touch to the story. I'm also thinking of doing some Emmett and Jasper, too. That way, you have different perspectives on the whole thing.
Favorite part? I think I probably know what it is, because it's probably my favorite part, too. I laughed really hard when I wrote the Carlisle part.
