Disclaimer: Neither Neji, nor Gaara, nor chibi-Shukaku belongs to me.
A/N: Yes, it has been more than a month. I'm sorry, but my procrastinating nature coupled with loads of hw means not a lot of updates. Please bear with me, ne?
Warning: Uh…angst, I think. And fluff.
Last chapter: Sabaku Gaara entrusts Shukaku to Neji, and Shukaku learns that Neji's heartname is Loveless. It is now morning.
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Guardian of My Heart – Chapter 2
Neji sighed, knowing that now, when it was nearing 5:30, that he wouldn't be able to catch any sleep before work started. He slumped down on his office desk, before straightening and standing up, scooping Shukaku into his fingers as he walked out of the room, flicking the lights off.
As he strode purposefully down a hallway towards an elevator that led to the second floor of his business, Shukaku questioned, Where are we going now?
"Home." Neji answered. "My apartment's situated above my business, but only a few other people beside me have the key to make the elevator move. It's very comfortable when I have people over for business dinners, and it sure beats driving to work."
Oh. You're REALLY devoted to your work, aren't you?
Neji stepped in the elevator and put in his key, the door closing and the elevator rising as he turned in. Shukaku looked around suspiciously and shuddered, his fur standing on end. Too much like a cage. he pronounced wisely.
"You're claustrophobic, aren't you?"
Shukaku glared and growled softly (but didn't deny it) as Neji stepped off the elevator and into a spacious living room highlighted with subdued colors, such as soft peach and pale yellow. The only thing that stuck out was a garishly orange picture frame, containing a picture of Naruto and Neji together, perhaps as young as 14 or 15 and standing before a background of some trees and a blue cloudless sky. They were both smiling, though Naruto was sporting his classic foxy grin and Neji was only letting the edges of his mouth tilt up a little. It was a smile nevertheless, and this memory was a fondly cherished one. The camera had been held by Hinata that day.
Oh, that reminded him. Today was the day he had to report in to Hiashi-sama…oh god, how could the timing be as bad as this? Just had to be this day out of every other day in the month! Seeing as that was a rhetorical question, Neji didn't try to answer it, just focused on how to schedule the rest of his morning before going to the Hyuuga main house. He needed a shower, a breakfast, to open up the business and then to complete his daily rounds around the vaults before he could go, but he should be done by 8 o'clock at the latest. And he needed to be at the main house by seven-thirty. Damn. Why did Hiashi-sama have to insist on having breakfast together as a family? Wasn't lunch and dinner enough?
Neji grabbed a towel and a change of clothes rapidly before making a beeline for the bathroom, setting down Shukaku right outside the door.
What are you doing? The small raccoon asked inquisitively, trying to poke his head in through the bathroom door.
"I'm going to take a shower; that should take about a half hour and you can wander around my apartment if you wish."
Why can't I take a shower with you?
"Uh…well…" Neji didn't know how to explain this. There was a popular theory among the Hyuuga family, who knew hearts better than any other clan except for the Uchihas (only two left now, Sasuke and Itachi, and they didn't want to make any more) and their Sharingan, that when hearts were separated from their persons like Shukaku was from Gaara, their person could sometimes see with their heart's eyes, especially if they were sleeping. Neji didn't know for sure, but he was somewhat confident that the redhead would be taking a nap right now, and catching up on the hour or more of sleep he had missed with their meeting this morning. And he had no wish to test that (still unconfirmed) theory, especially when there was the chance of Sabaku Gaara seeing him naked. Shukaku he didn't really mind so much, since he was a heart.
"I can't really explain, but there's just a really good reason. Seriously. And here's a chance for you to roam throughout my apartment and get adjusted, because if I'm not downstairs with my business I'm usually up here."
Fine then. I can prowl through any room I want?
"Yeah. I won't mind, just stay out of this bathroom, ok?" Neji pointed at the one he was going into.
I will. And with that Shukaku loped off down the hallway, and Neji closed the bathroom door, turning on the water a second later. He needed a nice and hot shower right now, to relieve all the stress that had been building up. His doctor, Tsunade, had told him it was bad for both his body and his heart.
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Neji was having a bad day. After his shower, he had searched and searched throughout his bathroom but hadn't been able to find his hair dryer. This was a bad thing. But Neji just sighed and wrapped his hair up in a towel and hoped that it would dry in time. And then, while walking into his kitchen, he had been out of it and tripped over Shukaku, who had been curled up on the floor before him. With a lack of grace that was unbefitting of a Hyuuga, he had toppled onto his kitchen's hard linoleum floor (but thankfully Shukaku had gotten out of the way).
Neji just laid on his side on the cold floor, his wet hair settling around him, since it had fallen out of the towel. He was tired. He was grumpy. He just wanted to lay here and sleep. Which sounded pretty good right about now, but then he felt something rough and warm licking his nose. Neji opened his eyes in surprise, to find Shukaku in front of his face and looking worried.
Are you hurt, Neji?
"No, I'm not hurt, Shukaku. Just tired." Neji sat up, his yukata bunching about his legs. "You don't have to worry about me."
Shukaku jumped onto Neji's lap, looking up at him with clear green eyes, just like Gaara's. But I do worry. And I think there's going to be a nasty bruise on your cheek…
Neji winced. "Just great. I better get some ice…" Shukaku jumped onto Neji's hand when he beckoned, and Neji stood up, letting Shukaku land on the island in the middle of the kitchen. He then got some ice for his cheek, wrapping it up in a towel and holding it against his cheek, numbing the pain. He then opened the refrigerator and got out a bottle of something, before getting a cup and a dish and putting all three on the kitchen island. He poured the liquid in the bottle into the cup and dish, and pushed the dish towards Shukaku. Yes, he had done all this with only one hand. His grace (and good karma) had returned, it seemed.
What's this? Shukaku asked, sniffing the dish just to sneeze with a small 'achoo!'. It smells strange.
Neji took a sip from his own cup and returned the bottle back to the refrigerator before he answered. "It's made from a recipe unique to the Hyuuga family, with extracts of orange, ground up rose thorns, and powdered chamomile leaves mixed up with sugar water and some other little ingredients. It's the core of my protection business, really. The extracts of orange keeps a heart healthy and pure, the rose thorns ward against love potions, and the chamomile helps a heart heal from adversity. I drink a cup of it everyday for breakfast myself, and all my hearts get a version of it everyday, though the mixture varies sometimes from heart to heart. And it tastes good too, to me at least. How 'bout you?"
Really tasty! Shukaku was now happily lapping from the dish, his pink tongue popping out every few seconds. Neji smiled. So cute. I never knew hearts could actually eat!
"Well, I didn't either until now, since hearts don't usually have mouths. But you're an exception, I suppose. Are you still hungry?"
Shukaku shook his head, having polished off the dish in 10 seconds flat. I haven't really felt full in my life, Neji, but I don't think I need anymore nourishment now.
"Ok. I count that as being full. Now, want to go with me through my rounds?" Neji held out a hand, and Shukaku jumped onto it readily.
Sure. But maybe I should ride on your shoulder so you have a hand free to catch yourself when you fall again. There was a wickedly mischievous sparkle in Shukaku's eye.
Neji scoffed at the statement, but let Shukaku ride on his shoulder. Who knows, maybe his grace and good karma could disappear again, and he didn't want a matching bruise on the other cheek.
He went downstairs again, grabbed a misting spray bottle filled with the same liquid he had just drank, and trotted back into the vaults, marveling at Shukaku's marvelous sense of balance. Anybody else would have surely fallen off by now.
Neji undid the security on the vaults and strode in, sighing in content. The aisles were 6 feet high and 20 feet in length, so Neji didn't have to reach too high to spray the mixture onto each and every heart on his daily rounds. This was what he did in the mornings, and in the evenings, right before he went to bed, Neji would work with individual hearts, though he hadn't the night before. He hadn't had enough time.
He quickly finished his rounds, dropped off the misting bottle, tried to tame his wet hair again, and got downstairs right when Shikamaru unlocked and opened the door. Neji's bank was a small business really, with only Nara Shikamaru as a technician (he liked the fact that he usually didn't have a lot of work to do, because then he could sleep) and Momochi Zabuza as a security guard/doorman. Neji couldn't stare at the security cameras all the time, since he also had to greet clients, so Zabuza was necessary. And the last person to complete Neji's employees was Shiro Haku, a secretary/receptionist. He, like Neji, was often mistaken for being a girl, since he was prettier than any male had a right to be (in the words of Uzumaki Naruto. Seriously).
"Hey Shikamaru." Neji called, coming to the main door with Shukaku still perched on his shoulder. "Will you please get off your lazy ass and fix the machine now? I need to go pay respects to my dear family."
Shikamaru took one look at Neji's mussed hair and bruised cheek and drawled, "Bad night?"
Neji glared while putting on his sandals carefully and simultaneously tying his hair back in his usual low ponytail. "Your fault, Shikamaru. See if I don't cut your paycheck for that. I lost a whole night of sleep over it!" Of course Neji was just teasing.
And of course Shikamaru knew. "Yeah, yeah." He waved back to Neji as he walked into the vaults. He was the only person besides Neji to have the authority to, and Neji trusted him. "G'luck on your family!" he called back as Neji went out the door.
"Hmph." Neji locked the door, turned, and started walking, right past a car that was parked right in front of his bank. Shukaku stared at it while he was walking away and asked, Isn't that your car, Neji?
"No. My clan has forbidden me to own a car," he explained to Shukaku. "I believe it's a way for the family to insure that I don't get too far away, so that they can keep track of me. When I need faster transportation than walking and the public bus routes, I can always get someone to drive me. But the Hyuuga compound isn't very far, so I always walk during these days. The car parked there is actually Shikamaru's. I let him have the spot because if he had to walk any farther he'd collapse out of laziness before he reached the door."
Neji continued walking, satisfied that since it was only 7:10 that he wouldn't have to run to the compound, and enjoyed the refreshing summer air. It was June 23, and summer vacation had started a week or so earlier, creating an influx of teenagers running to the pools and beaches. This year, summer was a magnificent thing. Clear, sunny, and highs in the lower 90s (Farenheight) almost everyday, the mornings, with temperatures in the lower 70s and a small breeze, were absolutely perfect.
Neji walked along the sidewalk, pointing out to Shukaku the businesses beside his. Among them was an animal hospital run by Neji's friend Inuzuka Kiba and his family, a restaurant run by his friend Akimichi Chouji's family, and a preschool run by some of Neji's former clients now friends, Umino Iruka and Hatake Kakashi (Kakashi only did the administrative stuff, however. Iruka didn't trust him with small kids). Beyond those businesses, as Neji turned the corner, was a nice little neighborhood that bordered the Hyuuga compound. As Neji walked down the road the houses grew progressively larger in size, showing as well how the wealth of the owners grew as well. And within a few minutes, Neji was surrounded by his clan's houses.
Shukaku's eyes widened as he was surrounded by Hyuugas, mostly small children, all with opaque white eyes and black hair. Their parents stayed back, smiling as they saw their children crowd around Neji, who was greeting them by name and smiling happily. He loved the little Hyuugas, even more so when faced with the fact that he probably wouldn't be having children of his own. He believed that children needed mothers while growing up, and he wouldn't even think of forcing someone to bear his children when they would both be miserable. It just wouldn't be fair. And so he treasured all children, and seemed to have a way with even the brattiest ones.
With the crowd of little Hyuugas trailing him, Neji moved through the compound slowly, getting to Hiashi-sama's door right on time. He gently shooed the children back to their families, and bowed low (Shukaku scrambled for purchase, trying to hang on) as Hiashi-sama came out to greet him.
"Good morning, Neji."
"Good morning, Hiashi-sama. I trust everything is well?" Neji saw Shukaku's predicament and scooped him into his hands, still in his bow.
"Yes, Neji, now come in. Breakfast is ready." Neji straightened and stepped into the house, sliding the door closed after himself and kneeling by the breakfast table across from Hinata. On his left was Hiashi-sama, and on his right was Hanabi. "Good morning Hinata-chan, Hanabi-chan."
"Good morning Neji," they chorused, and Hinata added on, "What happened to your cheek? Is it ok?"
Neji smiled at her worry and answered, "I suffered a brief bout of clumsiness this morning and fell, Hinata-chan. Nothing for you to worry about. And now I have someone to introduce to you all." Neji placed a squirming Shukaku on the breakfast table, smiling as his two cousins squealed over the small raccoon. "This is Shukaku. He's a heart that I'm currently taking care of, one that doesn't like cages very much, so I am planning on keeping him with me all the time."
Neji laughed as he watched Hanabi cuddle the small raccoon, amused by how carefree his nineteen year-old cousin always was, even in the face of Hiashi-sama. It was refreshing somehow, though Neji also admired Hinata's calm and reserved nature, formerly shy, but she had matured since childhood. In fact, many things had changed about Hinata, Neji observed. She had gotten over her childish stutter right around the time she had gotten over Naruto a few years ago, with Neji's praises on both of the accomplishments. Her eyes shone with a determination to be a stronger person, to live up to her father's expectations, and Neji felt she was doing that wonderfully. She had grown taller, and now her blue-black hair grew down to her upper back, though she had kept her bangs the same length. Hinata looked up now, and smiled at Neji's scrutiny. He smiled back, and wondered briefly on Hinata's forgiving nature.
They hadn't always been this close. A few bad memories during elementary and the start of middle school for the both of them was during the time Neji had bullied Hinata horribly, though only in private and between the two of them. Nobody else had known about it until Naruto had found out, and made Neji stop, demanding a reason for the harsh things he had said and done to Hinata. Nobody had expected the breakdown he had had that day or the confession he had blurted out between fits of sobbing; he had bullied Hinata because he was jealous, jealous of how Hiashi-sama paid more attention to her (loved her more), of how she would become the head of the Hyuuga family, and no matter what Neji did he couldn't do anything about either of them.
Hinata had been the first to forgive him, and after that incident they had talked, privately, just the two of them, and he had learned many things. He had learned she was afraid of becoming family head someday, afraid of failure and other people's criticism. She had confided in him that she had thought that Hiashi-sama loved him more, because he was the only thing left to remind him of his twin brother and because he was the genius among the Hyuuga clan. Of course, they hadn't talked about serious topics all the time – he had also learned that her favorite color was light green, her favorite flavor of ice cream Mint, her favorite snack food sunflower seeds. Just trivial little facts that made it a nice little bonding experience for the two of them.
Now Neji was Hinata's greatest supporter, though nothing would get him to say that out loud.
Breakfast passed uneventfully, and afterwards Neji went around the Hyuuga neighborhood, letting the little Hyuugas squeal over Shukaku as he talked to their parents, checking up on his cousins, uncles, great-aunts and all of his other relatives. He congratulated the newly engaged or married, gave his blessings to the families that had received the gift of an infant or two, and took a moment to grieve with the people whose close family members had passed away, sharing with them his own memories of that particular person. This was how Neji repaid the family who had brought him up, caring for him even though he was an orphan. This was how he showed he cared.
He returned to the main house for lunch, and afterwards stayed behind when Hinata and Hanabi left, expecting what was going to come next. In the afternoons, Hiashi-sama asked him about his business and how he was doing, and sometimes consulted him on family matters. Neji knew even though Hiashi-sama didn't approve of Neji's choice of profession (and the questions about that were somewhat like interrogations), he knew Neji was smart and wouldn't try to make him become ANBU as long as Neji's business was succeeding. Of course, Hiashi-sama's definition of success was very high, and Neji strived to live up to his expectations.
When they finished their discussions, they spent the rest of the afternoon sparring. Neji enjoyed going against a partner who could still beat him half of the time.
Neji and his uncle regarded each other over the table for a moment they started talking. Neji took in his uncle's loose scattering of white hairs, their number growing steadily as the months went by (Hiashi-sama would never deign to dye his hair). The Hyuuga family's illustrious head, at age 53, was growing old, and would most likely retire in a few years. But that was still down the road, and Neji knew his uncle was still going strong.
"Do you trust our little guest's container, Neji? You know that theory, that the bond between heart and body can transfer images from the heart's eyes to the container's. Do you trust him enough?"
Neji nodded. "It is not really a matter of trust, Hiashi-sama. This particular client will most likely have nothing to do with me in the future; he can do no harm with any of this information."
There was a silence on Hiashi-sama's part, the meaning behind it undecipherable. He only murmured, "If you say so. Is this a new client, Neji?"
Neji nodded. "Yes, he is Sabaku Gaara, and I have been taking care of Shukaku personally, for he does not like the cages within my vaults."
"Oh really? He seems to be unique as hearts go."
Shukaku crawled out of Neji's yukata where he had been hiding, his nose and front paws poking out into the air. Neji suppressed a laugh as Shukaku's fur tickled his chest, feeling the heartbeat next to his. He hadn't objected to the small raccoon's position when he had first dove in (shuddering about too many touchy-feely little children), just warned Shukaku that he had better hang on and to try not to tear his yukata. It was one of his better ones for day-to-day wear.
Of course I'm unique, Neji heard Shukaku say in his mind, and sniff haughtily. Who expects Sabaku Gaara's heart to be just like everyone else's? I mean, he certainly isn't like everyone else.
Neji's uncle's eyes widened, asking in disbelief, "He can mind-speak without being connected by touch?" Neji looked up, nodding.
"Yes, that's characteristic of hearts strong enough to be in a tangible breathing and speaking form. When I interacted with Kyuubi, Naruto's heart, he could apparently also mind-speak without physically touching me. We discovered this when, uh, Kyuubi broke away from my grip and attempted to run away when I tried to put him in a cage. He, like Shukaku here, doesn't like cages either."
Hiashi-sama looked thoughtful, pondering this new bit of information. "I don't suppose your little heart will agree to some tests?"
"You can ask him yourself." Neji replied.
His uncle was thrown off for only a moment, and then surprised Neji by bending his pride and doing what Neji had suggested. "Shukaku? Would you agree to have some tests conducted on you by some of the Hyuuga family?"
Shukaku thought for a moment. Do tests mean touching and poking?
Hiashi-sama thought for a moment, then nodded. "Yes, I suppose most of it would amount to that."
Shukaku shuddered and retreated back into Neji's yukata, only the top of his head peeking out. No more touching and poking… he murmured softly. I've gotten enough of that! I'm only allowing Neji to touch me now!
Neji smiled, amused, before pushing Shukaku out of his yukata and into his hands. "That's your own fault." he told the small raccoon. "You're too cute."
Shukaku stuck out his small pink tongue when he couldn't think of a good comeback. After all, it was a compliment. Neji laughed at the retaliation. The two of them didn't notice a small smile on Hiashi-sama's face, as he thought about how open Neji seemed to be with his emotions today. He let the conversation before him continue for a few minutes, before calling Neji's attention back to other matters that needed to be discussed.
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It was late in the afternoon when Neji and his uncle finished their talk, and Neji's spirits lifted at the thought of a good spar. He expected for his uncle to get up and to tell him to change out of his formal wear and meet him in the training grounds, but instead Hiashi-sama said, "Let's go for a walk, Neji."
Neji's brow furrowed, surprised by this change in routine, but stood up and followed his uncle out the main house door, Shukaku in his hands. The three of them walked (well, Shukaku wasn't walking but you get the point) around the gardens for a bit, Neji waiting for his uncle to break the silence.
He did, deliberately stopping in the middle of a path and turning to Neji. "You're turning 25 soon, yes Neji?"
The younger Hyuuga wondered where this question was leading to, since his uncle knew quite well that his birthday was next week. "Yes, Hiashi-sama. Next Wednesday, in fact." Neji's uncle nodded absentmindedly, as if thinking of something else. Only after a few more seconds of silence did he turn his full attention to Neji. "Do you know the significance of your 25th birthday in the Hyuuga family?" he asked.
Neji blinked, puzzled. "No, Hiashi-sama. To my knowledge there isn't anything special about my 25th birthday…"
Another silence, and an uncomfortable feeling came over Neji. What was his uncle trying to tell him? "In the Hyuuga clan," his uncle started, "one's twenty-fifth birthday is the time when we believe one's heart comes into full power. This means that one's heart grows more susceptible to love potions, and also love of the natural kind. Another effect is that a broken heart induces much more drastic reactions." He sighed. "Suicides are the most common around this time. And so, around this time, before one's 25th birthday, the Hyuuga clan places a seal on each family member, that monitors each person and the condition of their hearts. By a main family member's command, these seals can numb someone's pain, put them into a coma-like state, or even kill, although that action is rarely taken, usually only when a family member is trapped with an irreversible love potion. Am…am I explaining this clearly?"
Neji nodded. "Yes, Hiashi-sama. And so you wish to place one of these seals on me?"
"Yes, Neji. This afternoon, if you think you are ready."
"Of course, Hiashi-sama." Neji watched as his uncle's eyes clouded with thought and waited for him to say something.
"Neji…you remind me of someone."
"Who, Hiashi-sama?"
"Your father. When Hizashi learned about this on his – our 25th birthday, he agreed to it just as readily as you did, trusting me with his life. Do you really understand this seal, Neji? You are putting your life in the main house's hands, and especially in Hinata's hands. Do you trust her?"
Neji nodded without any hesitation. "Of course. I believe Hinata will make an excellent family head and I trust her utterly."
Hiashi-sama still looked at him with some trepidation in his eyes, and shook his head slowly. "I suppose it is necessary…" he whispered, before turning and striding back to the main house. "I will wait for you in your old room, Neji. Come after you think over this a little more. And besides, I believe Shukaku would like to talk to you."
Neji watched as his uncle walked away before looking down at the little raccoon still nestled in his hands. "Shukaku?"
The raccoon looked up at him with his pitch-black eyes. Are you sure this seal is wise, Neji?
Neji smiled as he walked to a nearby bench and sat down. "Well, I can't really refuse to have it, can I?"
I believe your uncle is granting you the option, Neji. He seems to have had some bad experiences with the seal.
Neji shook his head slowly. "I will not be singled out within the Hyuugas just because I am a favorite of my uncle. I will do my duty and endure the seal. And as for bad experiences…I do not know much about this, since there is not much talk about the seal, even among the family. But I believe it is referred to as a curse seal, since it grants the main family great power over the branch family members." Neji paused, thinking. "But I do not begrudge my cousins or my uncle of its power. It must be hard, deciding if a beloved family member should live or die, and it must be harder still activating the seal and killing, although it is necessary. I would rather die than to be enslaved to someone my whole life."
Shukaku lowered his gaze, saddened. Necessary seemed to be the word to describe everything today. I would rather you live…
Neji smiled at the sentiment and laid a gentle hand on the raccoon's head. "It's a hard choice, little one. I guess it could depend on the situation."
But no matter what happens, I'd still rather you live. You're too good to die.
"…Thank you." After another moment Neji stood up again, setting Shukaku on his shoulder and walking towards the main house.
He walked into the room he used to sleep in before he got his own business and apartment, and saw Hiashi-sama and Hinata waiting for him, a futon placed on the floor. "What should I do?" he asked.
"Lay down." Hiashi-sama replied. "Hinata will be the one actually giving you the seal."
Neji did as he asked, first placing Shukaku down carefully. From his reclined position he smiled up at his cousin, seeing the fear in her eyes.
"I'm sorry Neji…" she whispered, her hands trembling as she held the senbon.
"It's fine, Hinata. I trust you." He saw her hand steady with his encouragement, and she dipped one end of the senbon into the green (why green? Neji wondered) ink beside her.
"This is her first time." Hiashi-sama said. "I thought it would be better for her to experience it first with someone she knows and not a more distant relative, and I will guide her through this. This will hurt, Neji. It is not only a tattoo on your forehead; it is also imprinted on your heart." Neji nodded in understanding, and his uncle went on.
"Now, Hinata, start in the middle of Neji's forehead, and draw…" Neji stopped listening the first moment the senbon touched his forehead. Yes, it was painful. It was a line of fire cutting him open to the core, to Loveless, and branding him. He clenched his fists against the throbbing pain and willed himself not to move, not to make this any harder on Hinata than it already was.
-----
Shukaku watched the procedure with worried eyes, he could see Neji was in pain but couldn't do anything in fear of wrecking Hinata's all-important concentration. The raccoon paced a little before sitting down again, tail waving madly. It seemed like a restless eternity before it was done. The moment it was, Hinata flung down the senbon and ran out of the room, sobbing. Shukaku jumped onto Neji's chest, feeling his heart beat madly. The raccoon watched as the newly done tattoo faded into the skin, and Neji's body relaxed. But his eyes still hadn't opened.
Neji? He inquired quietly.
"He's sleeping." Hiashi-sama replied. "He'll sleep the afternoon through after this, because his heart needs to heal and accommodate to the seal. You are going to stay with him, yes?"
Shukaku nodded. This seems so painful on all of the Hyuuga family. He remarked. Why do you keep this seal?
The answer did not come immediately, and when it did, Hiashi-sama's deep voice was full of sadness. "You're right, it is painful. I remember the first time I went through it…I marked Hizashi, Neji's father, my twin, with the curse seal, and I remember thinking, as he shuddered with pain, that this meant we were totally different now. He was of the branch family, and I was of the main family, and I wanted to cry as Hinata did when it was done. Unfortunately…this seal is necessary." It was that word again, Shukaku thought. That hateful word.
"Besides giving the main family power over the branch family, a secret held from the branch family members is that the seal guarantees that the family head, who is the center of these seals, can throw off the effects of any love potion, no matter what it is. And so, the branch family, when marked with these, is compelled to protect the main family. Neji would understand this if I were allowed to tell him. He would understand that the Hyuuga family cannot have the family head fall into danger."
Shukaku turned to face Neji's uncle, scrutinizing him with beady eyes. The branch family seems to sacrifice a whole lot for the main family, so much it seems…unfair.
"Know that I am only telling you this because Neji trusts you, and I trust Neji's judgment. You will never give these family secrets away, or I shall be forced to be…cruel. And nothing Neji says or does will be able to save you from my wrath."
Shukaku nodded. I understand. I only want to know this to understand Neji a little more.
Hiashi-sama gave the raccoon a nod of approval, and went on. "The branch family may seem to sacrifice a lot on the surface, but it is the main family who is trapped within our system of living." Neji's uncle showed a thin-lipped smile, bitterness present instead of amusement. "A branch member may love and marry outside of the family, or not marry at all if they wish, when the main family's heir must marry well, usually in an arranged marriage, and needs to carry on the Hyuuga line and insure another heir, although the gender does not matter. Lucky for me, I loved my beautiful wife Kisa, but it does not always happen. I know for a fact that my mother and father had other lovers within their marriage, taken because they did not love each other.
"And then there is the responsibility to the family, to help it prosper and resolve its problems. From sunup to sundown one thinks of nothing but the family, because that is our job. The worry is constant, the stress is enormous, and a nervous breakdown would be inevitable if not for the benefits of a family who loves you and the people who would give your lives for you. But…it is still painful."
You do not have to go on if it pains you. Shukaku insisted.
"No, you will have to know this to understand Neji's pain and to help him. You really do want to, don't you?"
Shukaku nodded.
"Well, then. I will tell you. You know that Neji is an orphan?"
I gathered that since you and his cousins seem to be the closest family members he has. What happened to his parents?
"His parents…" Hiashi mused. "His father was my twin, Hyuuga Hizashi, born from our mothers' womb only minutes after me. His mother was my wife's younger sister, and of a distant branch of the Hyuuga family, Hyuuga Keiko. The two of them started dating a few months after I married Kisa, when Hizashi and I were 27. Almost everyone was surprised, perhaps most of all me, because Hizashi had vowed to stay single and help me shoulder the burden of being family head. And before this, he had kept his promise fully, being my helping hand at every step of the way.
"But I was happy for him, because he seemed to be happy and very much in love, though the relationship seemed to moving a trifle fast. Within 2 months they were married, a month more and Keiko was pregnant. But no one suspected anything, and on July 3, 1982, Neji was born. By that time Kisa was pregnant with Hinata, and the whole family was jubilant at the newborn and the prospect of another coming on the way. And then…a few hours after…Hizashi requested a private audience with me, while Keiko was still recovering in the hospital."
Hiashi-sama clutched his head in his hands, the memories seemingly overpowering him. "He told me Keiko had slipped him a powerful love potion at the start of their relationship to make him fall in love with her, that he had not noticed for the first few months, not until they were married and Neji was conceived, but then he had reflected that in their numerous fights, he had always been the one to come crawling back on his knees. With his suspicions, my brother had then studied his heart, Hitori, using his Byakugan, and had noticed the love potion. Since you don't have Byakugan, I'll tell you what a heart affected by a love potion looks like.
"There is an area, a center, in everybody, where their heart resides. Also, when someone loves you and you accept their love, their heart occupies this center. In essence, a part of your lover is always with you. Tell me, little one, how much do you know about this?"
This is about the extent of my knowledge. I haven't had much experience with love, so…
"I see. The Hyuuga clan's Byakugan can see through a person to his center, among other things. And when a love potion has been used, the drinker's heart will be trapped within the other person's center, so that the drinker will be forced to feel affection and attraction. Hizashi thought it was worse than rape, and I believe Neji does too. The love potion that Keiko had used inspired a feeling akin to obsession, and it could not be reversed. It had formed a black band around Hitori, a stranglehold that would never let go. This was why Hizashi had broken his promise, why the relationship had moved so fast. My brother confronted Keiko after his discovery, of course, but she had made him keep it a secret, on the threat that she would kill herself and her unborn child."
Hiashi-sama looked down at his hands, folded neatly on his lap. "Hizashi loved children." he whispered. "He wouldn't even think of harming one, and certainly not his own unborn child. So he had kept silent until today, the day of Neji's birth, and now that Neji was safe, Hizashi had revealed his secret to me, and now he…he wanted me to kill him, using the curse seal." Hiashi-sama fell silent, contemplating that long ago day, and when he spoke again, his words came out clipped, as if he couldn't dwell on them. "We argued. For hours, we shouted at each other, because he wanted to die, but…I didn't want to kill him. I told him Keiko probably loved him truthfully; she was just insecure. I told him he was running away from his troubles, I called him a coward, and I screamed that he was shirking his duty to the family. Hizashi…he didn't waver in his choice.
"Not even when I told him he was abandoning his son, and me! He was leaving me alone, for the first time in my life…!" Everything seemed to have faded around Hiashi-sama - he didn't seem to be registering anything now. Shukaku sat quietly, wanting him to finish. "We had always been together, no matter that he was branch family and I was main. No one could tell us apart, so Hizashi would often take my place in a meeting or in one of father's lessons, so I could have some spare time, to actually have a life. And now…after he had granted me a true life, been my savior through all of these years…he wanted to leave me? He actually believed I could kill him. And for this reason of a love potion…this trivial reason that was going to take him away! I was scared – what would life be without him?
"What…what finally convinced me was the reason he wanted to die. Hizashi told me…'I don't want Neji to grow up with parents who do not love each other. I'd rather you bring him up, Hiashi, as a son rather than a nephew. He deserves love like that, and I'm not the one to give it to him. Will…will you do that for me? Be his father, help him along in life, because my life's too twisted to give him that sort of unconditional love. But…you still can, and you will, won't you, Hiashi?'
"I promised I would, and he embraced me in thanks, wiping off my rampant tears because I had just then decided to fulfill his wish. I had decided to kill him." Hiashi-sama looked up now, looking older than ever and weighed down. "I don't regret it now. Hizashi died happily, or as happy as he could've been, and he died an honorable death, in my mind. And…I was glad that the last face he saw as he left was mine. It was fitting, I supposed." Hiashi-sama closed his eyes, but Shukaku still saw the pain lingering behind them.
But…a part of you died with him that day, didn't it?
Hiashi-sama gave the small raccoon a sad smile. "How perceptive. But yes. He was my twin, a half of me that no one could replace. I miss him…"
Shukaku shifted uncomfortably, and then squeezed out the question he needed to ask. What happened to Neji's mother?
"Keiko? She was planning to suicide when she had heard that Hizashi had died by my hands – she was broken-hearted and knew Hizashi must have told me all, and so she tried to take Neji with her to the afterlife. I had been expecting that, however, and I was with Neji when she came for him. I could see her aim to take her life along with Neji's with my Byakugan, so I…I killed her with the curse seal too. It was easier to take her life, because she had taken Hizashi from me…
"I still didn't enjoy taking someone's life though. Hizashi was the first person whom I had put the seal upon, and he was the first person I killed with it. Nothing could've been more difficult than that."
Hiashi-sama gazed at Shukaku, awaiting his reaction.
Poor you… the raccoon murmured. I guess the main family doesn't have it better than the branch family after all…all those hard decisions! How did you cope, afterwards?
Hiashi-sama smiled. "I had Kisa, who forgave me for…killing her sister when she learned the reason. And Keiko had a much more painless death with the curse seal than she would have had with anything else. I also had Neji, and Hinata, who came about six months later. I told Neji about what had happened within the first few hours of his birth when he first entered sixth grade, and somehow he forgave me, even though I had killed both of his parents. I must admit, I do love him as a son, though I am glad to spare him the trials of the family head. He will just have to support Hinata, just like Hizashi supported me."
He is a good person, Neji is. I just wished he didn't have to be so lonely…
Hiashi-sama nodded in agreement. "Loveless was a hard thing for him to bear, back when he was younger, and he still insists on pushing people away. I think…I think his heartname is like a self-fulfilling prophecy – Neji hasn't found a love because he does not allow himself to. And perhaps it is fate. But I would like to change it. Will you help me, little one?"
What can I do?
"You're going to stick around him for a while, correct?"
Yes. Shukaku agreed.
"One thing I've noticed is that whomever else Neji pushes away, he never pushes any hearts away. I was averse to the idea of his business at first, but now I see it's doing both him and the community good, and I have no objections."
What did you want him to become?
"ANBU." Hiashi-sama replied. "It is an elite force whose goal is to track down people who produce, sell, and use love potions, and also to try to reverse the harm caused by those love potions. A police force, if you will, for hearts. The Hyuuga family, armed with the Byakugan, is particularly suited for this job, but ANBU welcomes anyone who has a penchant for connecting with hearts. Hizashi was in ANBU before he got married, and I went through some of the training for it. But back to the subject at hand, I hope that if Neji trusts you, then maybe he will trust your person. I do not know much about Sabaku Gaara, except that he is exceptionally rich for one of his age and that he heads Sabaku Corp., but he should not be too bad of a person if you are his heart."
So you want me to set Neji up with him? Shukaku made a note to himself to rethink the merit of fate. It seemed like everything was coming together for Neji and Gaara.
"Well, yes. Do you think it will work?"
I'm…not sure. Now that I'm separated from Gaara, I don't know how he'll react to Neji…and Neji doesn't seem to want to make the first move either. I will try to help, but I don't know how much I can do…
Hiashi-sama stood up, and bowed to Shukaku. "Thank you, little one. I am sure you will try your best. Now, will you stay with Neji until he wakes up? I unfortunately have more business to attend to today."
Of course. Shukaku replied. What should I do when he wakes up?
"If it is before 7, you two should come to the dining room, because we shall be eating dinner. If it is after 7, tell Neji to find me in my office. At that time I shall instruct someone to drive you two home, because I don't want Neji to walk home in the dark."
Ok. Shukaku nodded. Neji is lucky to have an uncle like you, Hiashi-sama.
The Hyuuga head smiled slightly at the compliment. "And I am lucky to have a nephew like him." With that, he walked out, leaving Shukaku sitting alone on Neji's chest. The small raccoon turned to regard Neji's face, and then walked up his chest, until he could snuggle against Neji's neck. He did so, his small head under Neji's chin, and his small body warming Neji's skin. Sleep well… he whispered, before his eyes closed and drifting off himself.
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Next Chapter: Orochimaru, Itachi, and a wedding (no, not between the two of them…)! Please stick around, and thanks for reading!
Btw, one of my reviewers asked me about the heart protection thing. Yeah, I thought that up through a stroke of inspiration, but I'm still working out the details, so if you're confused please ask. This chapter cleared some of it up, I hope.
