Kazuya

It's a bit weird to write on paper. When you can talk to someone, I mean. I could've talked instead, but the chances of those people understanding are pretty low, if I think about it a little. Hiroshi told me to write this letter. He said it really helps to let it out somewhere, even if that paper is gonna get burned or torn. I could talk about it with Hiroshi, but we went through the same thing, so it would not really feel good to let it all out, since he already knows everything.

Let's say it was one hell of a week. I'm not talking about the exams here. I'm talking about last Friday. I know, it's not counted as this week, but it's been six days since then, so it feels like the same week for me.

We were both coming back from school when that bully, Takuro, stepped in our way with his gang. In teen language, he'd be commonly called a "fucking piece of shit". I totally agree with that nickname. If it wasn't of him, we would have never stepped in that mansion, and Hiroshi would not have that constant disturbed look in his eyes. He tries to make me believe he got over it, but I know he still didn't. He had that same look when we first met at school, but I first thought it was his general gaze. Then he showed me that album with his former friends in it a winter afternoon and admitted he was "the Hiroshi on TV" and the saddened look completely disappeared from his eyes. It's back now, and I have no idea of what I can do to remove it like last time. I guess I'll figure it out eventually, but I hope the idea will come fast, because I hate these glazed eyes staring into nothing while we talk.

Everyone asked me what happened to me on Monday. I had crutches, so it caught the whole class' attention. My leg wasn't so bad, but my parents wanted me to be careful with it, and I perfectly understood. I didn't feel like it would've been a good idea to walk on it anyway. Nobody asked anything to Hiroshi. I know he didn't have crutches, but based our faces, he looked way worse than me. I first thought it was due to his lack of sleep during the last night, but it didn't go away of the whole week, so the I'm just a bit tired excuse wasn't valid at all.

I'm pretty sure he didn't sleep Sunday night. Mostly because I've been with him for a while during the night. I had past my first night alone on Saturday, and I had nightmares the whole time. The other morning, my parents were downstairs, apparently waiting for me. They had a big two weeks-and-a-half long trip organised with a gang of friends. It was organized since a year or so, and they were hesitating whether or not they should go. It all depended if I felt like I needed them or not. If I had asked it, they would have cancelled it to stay with me, but I thought about all the preparation they did and how excited they were about it.

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" asked my mom when I told her they'd better go and leave the house to me like it was originally planned.

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine," I assured her, "Besides, I can always call at Hiroshi's house if I need anything."

They finally decided to go and took their luggage. I know how to cook, and I'm not the type of kid to throw parties all the time, so they had nothing to worry about. They said they'd send e-mails very often, and that I could call on their cellphones too, if needed.

It's only when the car disappeared from my field of view that my brain actually caught up the word alone. The house got extremely creepy, and it wasn't even night time. I'm pretty sure I looked like a nyctophobic child stuck in a dark room. At the same time, I didn't want to call Hiroshi and cry on the phone like a 3 years old. I did the best thing I could do: I got out of my house. I took a walk and went somewhere that will maybe sound a bit ridiculous. I went to church. I don't think churches are evil or anything, it's just that I didn't really go there to do anything in particular. I wasn't praying, and I wasn't going to confess about this demon (I'm pretty sure they would've called it Satan's spawn or something). I just sat down on one of the benches. I just wanted to stay away from my creepy house for a while, and I have to admit it smells good in here. Weird to say, but it's true. I think the mix of candles and incense is great.

I was finally beginning to feel good when I had to go back at my house. It was getting pretty late, and I had to cook myself dinner, so I left around four. I got back in the house, and I started to feel sick, but safe at the same time. Just like that specific moment in the mansion. Hiroshi and I had been separated because the demon ran between us two, and I ran in a random room with a lot of bookshelves. I hid behind one of them, and when it was going to reach me, it turned away and ran out, as if it remembered something really important. I had that same feeling when I woke up covered by heavy tools in a shed. I'm still wondering how I got in that shed. I woke up, walked out of the bookshelves room and saw Takuro's corpse, ran back in when that monster came, and blacked out when it grabbed me. I had no reason to wake up in that shed. I found a rope ladder and got down in the well when I saw the other one all tattered and torn. That's when Hiroshi and I escaped.

I check all of my doors and windows three times to make sure they were locked. The idea of having this monster in my house was terrifying me, even if it was stupid. If it didn't pursue Hiroshi once he was out, why would it pursue me when I'm out? I was still feeling nervous about this, and the thought of this thing already inside didn't help. Every sound I heard in my house was suspicious to me and brought a shiver down my spine.

I almost had a heart attack when the phone rang at seven o'clock. I waited a bit before answering, because the thought of that demon's growls through the phone didn't make me want to answer.

"H… H-Hello?" I stuttered when I finally picked up.

"Kazuya? It's Hiroshi."

Thank god, it was him. I think he heard my sigh of relief.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Y… yeah, I just… thought of… something else."

"The demon?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah…"

We stayed silent for a couple of seconds. It took me a whole damn lot of courage to open my mouth again, knowing what I would say.

"Hiroshi, you think you could… come over tonight, maybe? I really need a living thing in this house…"

"Sure."

He knew I meant that I didn't want to be alone. I have a weird way to ask things sometimes. I could hear him talk with his mother.

"Mom? Can I sleep at Kazuya's house tonight? He needs help with the History stuff."

"Sure, but aren't his parents gone? Wouldn't it be better if he came here instead?"

"It'll be quieter at his house."

I knew he thought we'd end up talking about the mansion. If he came, nobody would be there to hear us and doubt over our sanity.

He arrived a couple of minutes later with his school things and his uniform for Monday. I noticed his gaze had changed the second he entered the house, but it wasn't anything severe, I thought it was going to go away during the night, but it only got worse during the week. Anyway, we didn't study at all. We ended up talking about that demon, of course. I knew he still felt guilty for my leg just by the way he looked at it.

I had another nightmare that night, but it wasn't like Friday night or Saturday night. I had dreamt that I was chased around those two nights, but Sunday night I had another type of dream. I don't remember the beginning, but I ended up following three different people. I had never talked to them in my whole life, but I felt like they were close friends. They were a tall and blonde boy, a girl, and a guy who looked like Takuro, but somehow felt nicer than him. I followed them one after the other, and they kept telling me to hurry up and save him. I didn't realize who they wanted me to save. I should have known, who else could my brain have thought about while I was asleep? Hiroshi, of course. It's when I saw him from afar that the three others disappeared completely. He was on the floor and someone who looked a lot like him was on top of him, the shard of a broken plate raised above his head. This guy holding the broken dish had long white hair, glasses and a wide smile. Hiroshi was stuck under him and desperately called for help. He seemed to get worse each step I took closer to him. The other boy looked up at me.

"Stay away," he pronounced very well every syllable.

He had Hiroshi's voice, but the one I knew stuck under him hadn't spoken a word. I sprinted toward them, and the white-haired guy brought down the plate shard. I screamed in the dream, but I woke up with a very quiet gasp. That dream made me feel bad. In fact, I felt so bad that I walked in the guest room to get to Hiroshi. He was seated on the bed and looked up when I walked him.

"Can't sleep too?" he guessed.

"No… I… just woke up."

I regretted coming in for moment, I felt like I was bothering him. It was too late, though.

"A nightmare, then?" asked Hiroshi.

"Yeah."

I sat next to him on the bed. I told him the whole dream. He seemed surprised about it. Probably because it wasn't about being chased or anything like it. I was surprised myself. I had seen enough to have the… regular type of nightmares. I saw the dead guy in the bath, I saw Takuro's twisted body and I saw the attic all splashed with blood (though I closed the door before seeing the body). It wasn't like I'd have slept through the whole thing. I probably dreamt of Hiroshi dying because of the attic. When I saw that room, I thought it was Hiroshi, but I couldn't bring myself to open the door and verify. That's why I was more than happy to see him run down those stairs. It would've been like losing my big brother or something. We're both single children, so we grew a sort of brother/brother bond over time.

It was around three in the morning when we fell silent.

"You didn't sleep?" I said, remembering the can't sleep too I heard earlier.

"Not yet. I've been… thinking."

I didn't ask him what he was thinking about, because I knew he hates it. He says he feels violated when I ask that. He prefers keeping his thoughts for himself, and it's perfectly fine. He shares them when he wants, but that night, he didn't want to talk about it. I noticed once again the distant look in his eyes, and I fell asleep asking myself what I could do to help him get rid of it. He got it during the whole week, and I was sometimes asking myself if he even wrote something on his exam while there was only an hour left. Seriously, each time I looked at him, he was staring blankly at the sheet as if it was a written production and had no idea what to write. Each day, he gets more and more distant. It worries me like hell. I often get the feeling he doesn't even listen or hear me when I talk to him.

I know there's a way to remove these emotionless eyes. I already succeeded to remove them, so I can do it again. I will do it. I will bring back his good mood.


I don't know if you noticed, but I try to slightly change writing styles between the two boys. I have noooo idea if I succeeded XD

There are a few more letters coming, since a huge idea came after I posted Hiroshi's letter.

I'm flattered, Anon :) I didn't think my English was that good, but now I'm convinced :D
I could've broke Hiroshi's letter in several chapters, but I personally think it would have broken the flow. I mean, if I write a letter to let my rage or sadness out, I'm not going to break it into parts. I totally see your point, but my objective in this story is to really feel feel like these are actual letters.
I pictured them writing on paper, but it doesn't really matter if it's a journal or a random sheet. He's probably going to keep it and throw it away later... I dunno XD
Yes!Have the courage! :D You'll be able to contact me also by private message when you'll sign up and I would love doing the beta-reading with you :) It could perfectly work, since there is a beta-reader system where you can send docs to friends!
Well, you did write a review, and now everything is awesome, imagine what it could be to have an actual account :D But it's your choice, I have to respect it!

Please, leave a review and see you in the next chapter!