Suddenly the thoughts of Peter in a gold thong entered her mind once more. And this time they didn't fade.
They arrived at Steak N' Shake, it has one of those claw machines. And it was filled with Pillow Pets! It even had a camel pillow pet, but do they actually make those? It was probably a knockoff.
"We should get one of those for Rebecca," Peter encouraged, "Do you have any quarters? It will be romantic."
"Fuck that, I'll just use my mind again," Olivia told him, doing just that and successfully getting a pillow pet. No one seemed to notice. Olivia was starting to get a headache from all of this telekinesis. She then remembered that sex was the best cure for a headache. She was really desperate for some Peter. She considered taking him right there in the restaurant, but that would be weird, right? That kind of thing wasn't okay here.
"Olivia what are you thinking about?"
"Oh, just Rebecca. I wonder what she would look like if she were purple, like that guys beard."
"You know, I was wondering the same thing." Peter told her. But he was really thinking about a program he watched on Animal Planet the other night, while Olivia was asleep romantically in his arms. The program was about caribou. He loved him some caribou almost as much as Olivia loved her some camels. Peter really loved him some Animal Planet over all, but Olivia thought he was just a freak. Then she remembered Peter was from another universe…never mind.
Point being; he would have much preferred to find a caribou in the park-instead of a camel. But he let it go because, Rebecca was really beginning to grow on him. Peter was starting to see her as a daughter, even though he had only known her a few hours. He then wondered if he'd ever have a real daughter, probably not. He already had a son that lived in another universe with an alternate version of his girlfriend, what more could a guy ask for? Maybe a new toilet brush, he seemed to go through those things pretty quickly. He didn't know why though, because he had a really healthy colon.
Peter snapped from his thought process, "We should paint Rebecca purple, it will be romantic."
They skipped off happily, who needs Steak N' Shake? They couldn't wait for their next romantic excursion to the paint store."
"This place is cooler than Neopets!" Peter shouted, Olivia just eyed him in shock, "I just really love paint, okay? Don't judge me, Olivia."
"Oh, I'm not." She told him, arms crossed. But she really was, it was unsettling how much the man loved paint, and Animal Planet.
But after a few minutes, Peter grew incredibly frustrated, "I don't like any of the paint here!" He huffed.
"You just said this place was cooler than Neopets!" Olivia reminded him, throwing her hands up, "And I know how much you love that children's website, you spend all day on there playing Meerca Chase, earning points so you can get your baby paint brush! And, oh! I know you sneak onto the role-play boards and pretend you're a 17 year old girl! I know things, Peter…I know things. It's flooding our relationship. You have a problem! And don't get me started on the amount of time you spend watching Animal Planet!"
"I know," He relinquished, "But, damn it! You confess all of this now, in the paint store?"
She shrugged, "Well, if there's nothing here you like then we'll have to go back to Chicago, that's where the next closest Sherwin Williams is. It will be romantic."
That was a good idea. They opted to take Rebecca again because she was the faster choice of transportation. Olivia agreed to just deal with her motion sickness, she would get some toast when they got there. That would be romantic too.
It was 97 degrees when they arrived, "Wasn't it 50 degrees when we were here a few hours ago?" Olivia asked then.
Peter didn't answer, he was too intently focused on getting to the paint store.
They found the store rather quickly, buying the most vibrant shade of purple paint. It was snowing then they got out, it was romantic.
Rebecca mumbled something to Peter later on, telling him she wanted 36 half pickles from the Windy City Subs drive-thru. No, not 18 pickles, 36 half pickles. There was a reason for this. The reason had something to do with Rebecca's troubled past. In her younger days as a flying camel. See, she couldn't always fly, it was a gift that she woke up with one day. And all of the young camels teased her, but they were really just jealous. The only thing that brought her comfort was when her mother would bring her half pickles…but then her mother died from causes that were never elaborated. Wait, no; that was Olivia's mother. Rebecca's mother was eaten by a wildebeest.
And it was clear from that point on that Rebecca was in fact, a girl.
They decided to go see Winnie The Pooh, in Chicago, with Rebecca. Who managed to sneak in her 36 half pickles. They smelled.
The movie was very moving, Peter was confused because he had never seen Winnie the Pooh as a child, it didn't exist in the other universe…that he was from.
Outside the theater, there was a flyer for a U2 concert. "Oh, Livia, I think we should go! It will be romantic!" Peter said, bouncing from foot to foot like a little girl, "I know you love U2 and secretly think Bono is sexier than me."
"You got the wrong Olivia, jerk." she told him, "I hate U2, and I think Bono slightly resembles a cactus. Oh, and all of the CDs she bought with my credit card, I sold on Ebay and used the money to buy Magic School Bus season 4 on DVD. Yeah, that's right, Peter. You have your quirks and I have mine." Her tone was now alarming him.
"Okay." Peter replied, "But can we go any way? Maybe Rebecca wants to go."
"Well, then ask her." Olivia pressed.
He asked her. Rebecca wasn't really up for going either. She was, however, in the mood for some Hannah Montana, and what do ya know? She was in town that night too!
The concert was exciting! Though, Rebecca cried when Peter had to break it to her that Hannah Montana was Miley Cyrus, she hadn't figured it out yet.
Also, no one had seen a flying camel before! No less, a Mandarin speaking flying camel. She was asked on stage to sing a song. She sang Friday, in Mandarin. The crowd went wild.
It was so romantic that, Peter proposed to Olivia, right there. Surrounded by a flying camel singing Friday in Mandarin, and 8338740 screaming girls. She said yes, it was romantic.
"To celebrate their engagement, they decided on a nice picnic on the beach, seeing as the weather had warmed again, and all of the snow had melted within the duration of a few hours.
"Olivia, now that we're engaged, I have one last thing to confess to you." He sounded dead serious, a million and one thoughts swirled in Olivia's mind. What could be worse than a secret love for Neopets and Animal Planet…and paint! Peter continued, "A few months ago…I had an affair with, with…" It hurt him so much to continue, Olivia felt as if her heart had stopped beating in her chest, how could he do this to her?
"With…who?" She asked him.
He sighed, first asking Rebecca to give them some privacy which she did. "With…Paula Deen." Peter confessed.
Olivia was in utter shock, Paula Deen was not Peter's type! Was she? "When, she inquired, then, "And why?"
"I'm sorry," Peter apologized hastily, "While your possessed by Bell, I'm sorry but we had spent two weeks doing nothing but each other. Then we suddenly stopped and I needed me some woman!"
"But, Paula Deen, Peter? Paula Deen! I understand I was possessed by Spock…I mean William Bell, and I don't know if he is into that kind of thing. But, Paula Deen? Why didn't you just go back to my alternate?"
"Because she had just given birth to my child and probably wasn't in the condition for that." He informed.
"Right," Olivia replied.
"But it's okay because, she cheated on my with butter." Peter confessed.
Olivia sighed and forgave him then, even if he totally deserved to be cheated on with a condiment.
