"Sir! Sir! The hat really did have some gas!" Commander Peepers shouted.
"FINALLY!" Lord Hater roared. "I'm fed up with waiting! I was this close to resulting to cannibalism!"
"S-Sir, it's only been a few minutes and it's 'resorting t'-"
"DON'T CORRECT ME!"
Commander Peepers suddenly said, "Wait, did you eat all of the surplus food?!"
His boss pushed away a large pile of potato chip bags marked "EMERGENCY" under the dashboard with his foot.
Peepers slapped himself in the eye. "Sir, now you'll be hungry when you really do need food! Have you ever considered THAT?"
"I'll make sure to get you first."
"Why not Captain Tim?! He's been doing nothing productive all day! Sir, he hasn't been doing anything productive all year! Eat him!"
"I'll have you know there's only been, like, ten mysterious disappearances since he's got here."
"That's MORE than before, sir!" Captain Tim, a large spider-like creature with big lips and fangs, screamed at Peepers and started biting his arm. The commander yelled and started ramming his arm into a wall. "KILL IT!" he shouted.
Hater cooed, "Aww. . . He likes you!"
"LIKE ME FOR LUNCH!" Peepers yelled and finally flung the monster off. "Now, I'm going to go refill the fuel tank, and you j-just sit there sulking or whatever."
"I don't sulk!" he sulked.
"Sir, the can had just the right amount of gas! Just what we needed!"
"Yeah, yeah, good job, Peepers," Hater said, clicking away on his video game. The screen on it went dark for a moment, then a happy Wander leaped out of the dark to hug him. Lord Hater screamed, "DEAR GROP, THESE HORROR GAMES ARE SO TERRIFYING!"
Peepers flinched before replying, "Sir, don't you find it strange that Wander's hat had just the right amount of gas in it? Even a little?"
"Pure coincidence," the tyrant said. He was checking a virtual camera (for some reason) to protect himself from the virtual Wander. Wander was gleefully smiling at him on one of the screens. Suddenly, the screen went black and a low-battery symbol popped up. "COME ON! I ALMOST WON!"
"Maybe the hat will help!" Peepers recommended. He only got a mean glare back. "I-I mean, zrebdank, how disappointing!" When his boss wasn't looking, he reached into the hat and yanked out some bandages. "How's this supposed to help?!" He tossed them aside.
That's when a Watchdog stumbled in.
"SIR! CRAIG FELLA ON TOP OF A HOT GRILL IN THE FOOD COURT WHILE YOU WERE CHASING WANDER! WE NEED BANDAGES, ASAP!" he shouted. That's when he caught the bandages. "Uhh. . . Thanks!"
"Huh," Peepers wondered as the Watchdog hurried out. "It gave Laurence exactly what he needed. Sir, Wander's hat must be magic! It gives us whatever we need!"
"WELL, I NEED BATTERIES!" Lord Hater said. He pulled a book out of the hat. The cover said, "How to Manage Your Anger Issues". He roared and flung it away. "PEEPERS, YOU BROKE IT!"
Commander Peepers told him, "Sir, it gives you what you need, not what you want!"
"THERE'S NO DIFFERENCE!" he whined.
Peepers stared into the hat, "Maybe there is."
