Broken Inside Part 2

The nurse had finally arrived and Yuu had explained to her about the incident in the hallway and Takanori's breakdown afterwards. She had thanked Yuu for watching over the younger student and sent him to class. When Takanori had woken up she had sent him home saying that she had already spoken to his aunt. Taka had gathered his belongings and taken the bus to the small house his aunt owned.

At some point between the time his arrival and his aunts he had gone to the small bathroom across the hall from his room with a knife from the kitchen. He had run the tip of the blade over his left forearm repeatedly, wondering how it would feel if he applied pressure. He wondered how much pressure was needed to cut through the skin and muscle underneath. How hard would he need to push to get to the vein?

Slowly he turned the knife over and placed the sharpened edge against his arm. He pressed down and drew it from his wrist to his elbow, using more force as he went. Nothing happened though and he moaned in frustration. He slid the blade across his finger and realized that this was the dullest knife he had ever held. The butter knife would probably be more effective than this.

He went back to the kitchen and checked the other knives in the butcher block and to his disappointment they were all similarly dull. How was he supposed to slits his wrists in a fit of depression when all the knives in the house were useless? Feeling utterly desolate he began going through the drawers in the kitchen to see what they held.

In the third one he looked through he found a small package that held razors and pulled it out. The box held three and he took one out and pressed it to his finger experimentally. Immediately there was a line of red running down his finger, across his palm and over his arm. He looked up at his finger again, a little surprised to realize that he had cut so deeply on the first try.

He set the razor on the counter and watched as the blood continued to flow out of him. He liked the warmth of it running along his arm when he held the injured hand up. He liked the contrast of the dark red against his pale skin. He stood in the kitchen and watched the crimson trailing along him as he turned his hand this way and that.

The sun began to set and when the room darkened around him he flipped the light on and noticed the pools of dried and drying blood he had left on the floor. He took a hand towel and wrapped it around the still bleeding finger before taking the razor up to his room. He wiped the blood from it and hid it in his dresser, under the lining in the drawer full of socks and underwear.

Going back to the kitchen he picked up another towel and wet it at the sink before he began trying to wipe up the floor. He had gotten about half of the mess cleaned up when his aunt came home. She took one look at the blood on the floor and staining the towel on his hand and whisked him off to the hospital for stitches.

When he was asked how it had happened he lied, saying there was a piece of glass hidden under his bag when he dropped it. No more questions were asked about it as the doctor set to work. A few stitches and a prescription for antibiotics later and they were on the way home. Since it was late his aunt insisted they stop for take out so neither of them had to cook or clean.

For the next two weeks school wasn't as bad as it could have been. Nobody really cared that he had left early after the scene in the hall so nobody teased him about it. There were a couple of soccer players that had tried to corner him a few times but he had managed to avoid them so far.

He had also managed to avoid Yuu but not Yuu's boyfriend. Yutaka kept showing up around the school and always seemed to be watching him. It was starting to creep him out a little bit and he wondered if he should talk to someone about Yutaka. The guy was beginning to make him nervous with his stalking.

After several days of intermittent rains the sky was finally clear and Taka was glad to be able to escape outside for his lunch again. Even without Toshi around to bother him he still stayed near the building and in sight of other people. It was cooler out now that the rain had come through and there were less people outside than usual but that was perfect for Taka. He looked up as a shadow fell across him and saw Yuu and the two most persistant soccer players before him.

"There you are, Takanori," Yuu said with a smile. "We've been looking for you everywhere."

"I, uh, like eating outside."

"I remembered that and here we are. This is Kouyou and Akira, Kouyou is the new captain of the soccer team and he wanted a word with you. They asked me along so you'd know they aren't a threat."

"Oh, okay. What's up?" Taka asked confused.

"First off we want to apologize for not stopping Toshi," the taller one, Kouyou, said. "As the captain of the soccer team I've made it clear to the other players that I won't tolerate bullying from any of them."

"He told us he'd go Yuu on anybody that tried it," Akira said with a laugh.

"Shut up already," Kouyou said, elbowing his friend. "If anybody on my team gives you any trouble from here on out please tell me."

"Um sure, thanks."

"Okay, Takanori, we'll let you get back to your lunch. See you 'round."

"Bye," Taka said feeling relieved.

The new captain and his friend laughed and joked with Yuu as the three went back into the school. Taka turned the conversation over in his head as he ate. They seemed sincere in their apology so maybe now he wouldn't have to worry so much about them. There was still the fact that Yutaka kept showing up everywhere he went. As if on cue, another shadow fell across his lap.

"Stay away from Yuu," Yutaka said as the smaller boy looked up.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I said stay away from Yuu, you little shit. He's mine."

"I haven't," Taka started to say.

"I've seen the way you look at him. Back off or you'll regret it."

"Honest, I don't," he tried again.

"Shut up, I don't want to hear your lies. He's not interested in a whiny little kid like you so just back off. This is your first and only warning. If I catch you near him again I will crush you like the bug you are. Got it, maggot?" Yutaka said as he leaned down and glared at the now cowering first year.

"Got it," Taka gulped in fear.

"Good," Yutaka said and stalked away.

Great, Taka thought, Yutaka almost made Toshi look like a cuddly little puppy. This school just kept getting better and better. Toshi would have beaten the crap out of him without a second thought because he was gay. Yutaka, being a jealous boyfriend would make him suffer in ways that Toshi couldn't understand.

The rest of the day Taka made sure that if he heard Yuu in the halls he went the other way. He was late for classes and given detention but at least he stayed off Yutaka's radar. When he got home he went straight to his room and took the razor from his drawer.

He sat on the edge of his bed staring at it and wondering where the best place to use it would be. If his aunt saw him bloody again she might get suspicious and start watching him. Plus he had gym class and had to change in front of the other students. It had to be somewhere that they wouldn't see any tell tale marks either.

He looked down at the hand holding the blade and cursed his own stupidity. If he kept the cuts under his boxers no one would ever see them. He stripped down after grabbing a towel from the bathroom and sat in the middle of his bedroom on the bare floor. He lightly ran the razor over his leg, just below where it met the hip and watched as a thin line of red trickled out.

For the next hour he expiremented with how much pressure he needed to use to cut without going too deeply. He watched as the blood beaded up along the cuts and slowly ran trails down his leg and onto the towel. He only stopped because his aunt would be home soon and he needed to get started on dinner and his homework. With a sigh he wrapped a bandage over his thigh and carefully rinsed and dried the razor.

The next few months at school weren't easy for Taka as his stalker kept turning up and threatening him every few days. There was nobody to turn to unless he wanted his secret out for the whole school to know. So he kept it to himself and did his best to become invisible. The cuts on his thighs barely healed before he covered them with new ones.

Slowly he started slipping farther and farther into his own darkness, lost in the deep red haze of his own blood. The days began to blend together and the only thing that set them apart was how much he bled. He couldn't bring himself to cry any more and let the droplets of blood become his new tears.

Spring came around and more students started taking a lunch outdoors so Taka began eating in the less crowded library. He could find a book and sit in a quiet corner and most days he never saw another person there. The end of term was coming up though and he knew that everyone would soon start intense study groups. There would be very few places in the school that he would be able to escape from the other students.

One of the last quiet days in the library Kouyou had come up to him to talk. The end of the soccer season was coming up and after the final game there would be a sleepover at the captains house. For some reason he wanted Taka to come along and hang out. It didn't matter what excuse he tried using, he couldn't find a way out.

It turned out that only a handful of players and a few other friends were there. Kouyou's family had a large house with an apartment over the garage and that was were the sleepover was being held. They ate pizza and played video games most of the night with loud music in the background.

As some of the boys started falling asleep the music was turned down and the video games shut off. They ended up playing a rowdy game of truth or dare and Taka dreaded what questions he might be asked. When his turn finally came up he blurted out dare and panic spread as he was dared to kiss one of the other boys.

"Um, I don't think," he said as he looked around at the others.

"You said you'd take a dare," the boy who had issued the dare reminded him.

"Yeah, but that's," he stammered.

"Come on Taka, don't be a chicken. It's just a little kiss. Nothing to be afraid of."

"I really," he tried again.

"You guys are so mean," Akira said as he got to his feet. "Taka probably hasn't even had his first kiss yet. Now you're going to ruin it for him and make him kiss another guy."

"I have," Taka said and blushed as Akira pulled him up as well.

"Well then it won't be so bad," Akira said and gave him a quick peck on the lips.
"Oh give me a break, Akira. That wasn't a real kiss. That's like how you kiss your grandmother," Tomo, the boy who made the dare said.

"You never said what kind of kiss it had to be," Akira defended.

"Boo." "Kiss him." "You suck." The other boys started teasing.

"Fine, you guys want to see a real kiss, I'll show you how a man kisses. Assholes."

Akira pulled Taka to him and crushed their lips together. Taka squeaked in surprise and squeezed his eyes shut. He felt the taller boy's tongue against his lips and only resisted for a moment. Akira completely surprised the others in the room when he deepened the kiss. He ran his hands down Taka's back and cupped his ass, lifting the smaller boy against him.

He walked them a few steps over to the wall and pinned Taka against it. The kiss dragged on and when Taka let out a low moan Akira matched it with one of his own and rocked his hips. After several minutes Akira pulled up for air and rested his head against Taka's. Finally he looked over his shoulder at the rest of the boys in the room.

"Was that real enough for you?" he asked, still slightly breathless.

"Um, I never knew you went that way Akira," Kouyou said, sounding confused.

"I don't," Akira said as he stepped away.

"Yeah right," Tomo replied. "If you're not gay then how come you pitched a tent? 'Fess up, Akira."

"A what?" Akira said and looked down. "Oh, Taka's just a really good kisser, dumbass."

"Oh really? I think you two like each other," Tomo sang out gleefully.

"Shut up already Tomo," Akira said as he started to blush.

"See," Tomo cried as he pointed at Akira and Taka, who was blushing as well. "They do like each other."

"Knock it off, Tomo," Kouyou said, smacking the other boy over the head. "You're being a real ass. I mean who cares if they do or not? It's my house and my party and I don't care."

"Yeah well if they keep me up all night making out and stuff I'm kicking their asses," Tomo said as he crossed his arms.

"Sorry, Taka," Akira whispered in his ear. "I didn't mean for it to get out of hand like this."

Nobody said a word as the pair rejoined the circle and Akira pulled Taka to sit on his lap for the rest of the game. There were only a handful of others boys awake at that point and soon they were all yawning and heading to sleep. Akira moved his sleeping bag next to Taka's and in the end they slept on one and under the other.

Taka lay awake most of the night, circled protectively in Akira's arms. Akira gave off a lot of body heat and it was nice to be held like he mattered after so long. As he finally drifted off to sleep, Taka couldn't help but wish it was Yuu's arms wrapped around him so tightly.