Author's Note: I'm glad a few of you liked the intro chapter. It's been a while since I've written fan fiction, so I'm trying very hard to stay true to the characters but they might stray a bit here and there. Please let me know how I'm doing with this story! Also, check out my profile where I talk about the book that I'll be publishing in January. If you like my writing, you might be interested in reading it as well. :)
Chapter One
"I hope you don't mind," Ali says. I'm still speechless. "I borrowed Paige's phone to text you earlier."
"Wait, Paige knows you're alive? Where is she?" I ask, looking around for my girlfriend. We're the only ones here. Other than the pounding in my ears and the low hum of the fluorescent lights, we are surrounded by silence.
Alison smiles and shakes her head. "Don't worry about Paige, sweetie. She's not who you think she is."
What is she talking about? Paige is my girlfriend. I love her. We've been together for months, now. Of course I know who she is. Unless…no. No. I will not let Ali get in my head again. I will not allow her to get under my skin, to manipulate me.
"Get in your car, Em. I need you to drive me somewhere," she orders. Just like old times. She starts to walk toward my car, but I stay exactly where I've been standing.
"No," I say, more loudly and forceful than I thought was possible. "You know who's not who I thought she was? You, Ali. I thought you were dead. I thought you were rotting in a casket somewhere. I needed you…and you lied to me. You made me believe you were gone when you were here all along."
"Don't talk about things you don't understand, Em," she says, but this is not at all like old times. There is no warning tone in her voice. She's soft with me. Cautious, not threatening. "But look, I'm not proud of what I've done. You know what I am proud of? I'm proud of you. I'm proud that you're standing up to me for the first time. It looks like all of those years away from me gave you a backbone, and I'm glad. You deserve to be strong and be your own person. I need you to be that, for me. I know that you want answers, Emily. I know that you expect me to have all of them, but I don't. If you trust me, I will tell you what I know. But you have to keep this a secret. We can't trust everyone that you think we can. You can't tell the other girls that I'm talking to you. I have to stay hidden. Can you do that for me?"
Silence. For a moment, I've forgotten that I'm supposed to answer her questions. For a moment, I feel like this is another dream about Ali, like the ones that have haunted me since that Labor Day weekend years ago. For a moment, I forget that the first lips I ever kissed are right in front of me. And then, I remember. I clear my throat, blink away tears, and look directly into the eyes that are begging me. "Okay. I'll keep this between us. Your secret is safe with me."
"No, Em. You don't understand," she says. "I am the secret."
I sigh and start walking. When I reach my car, I look behind me to see if she's followed. "Well? Are you coming or what?"
I get in the driver's seat and a few moments later, she accompanies me in the seat next to mine. "I'll take you anywhere you want to go, Ali. Just do me one favor," I say, refusing to look at her.
"What's that?" she asks. I feel her eyes on me.
"Please, just…take off that damn coat. I'm tired of seeing red everywhere I go."
I hear her smile and the rustle of clothing as she takes the red coat off and tosses it into the backseat. "There," she says. "Now let's drive. To the river."
I start driving and open my mouth to speak, but Alison interrupts.
"Now, I know you have thousands of questions," she tells me. Out of the corner of my eye, I see that she's looking out the window, as if she's afraid to look at me. "But I need to tell you what's on my mind. And then if you still have questions, I'll try to do my best to answer them. You deserve that much, and more."
I let out another sigh and tell her to go on. This isn't happening fast enough. I need answers. I need apologies. I need to understand this, all of it.
"Something bad happened, that Labor Day weekend. Cece Drake did something terrible, something unforgiveable, and framed me for it. I can't tell you what it was. It's not safe for you to know details just yet. But believe me, Em, it was bad. I know I did some pretty mean things when we were younger, but this…this was a catalyst for all of the chaos that you've all experienced since I left." There is something in her voice that I've never heard from her before. Remorse. Still, she doesn't offer an apology. I know she's sorry but she hasn't said it for herself yet.
"You didn't just leave, Ali. You disappeared. You vanished. I waited for you for a year until they found that body. I know Aria went to Iceland and Hanna started getting popular and Spencer focused on school. But I stayed up every night, waiting by the phone. I hung flyers, I joined search parties, I cried out for you every day. I needed you." I look down at my hands, clenching the steering wheel so tightly that my knuckles are turning ghostly white. I loosen the grip with my left hand and drop my right onto my lap. "You left me when I needed you the most."
"Look, Emily. I…I can't change any of that. But I'm here now. We can pick up where we left off," she says, taking my hand into hers.
I feel like I'm holding hands with a corpse. A ghost. A body that has been invaded by worms and insects after rotting away underground for years. I shudder, but she doesn't let go of my hand. And then I take my eyes off of the road for just a second in order to look over at her. She's smiling timidly, eyes filled with tears. She's just as scared as I am.
This is no ghost or dead body. This is Alison. But not the Alison that I knew. No, this is the Alison that crawled from her own shallow grave after being buried alive, only to disappear in order to protect someone. Whether it was to protect herself or us or her family, I do not know. What I do know is this: This is Alison, and she needs me.
We drive in silence for a while until we reach the river. The water is much higher than it used to be. There's a rock down by the bank that Ali and I used to go to when we were alone, and she follows me there now. It's almost humorous how our roles have reversed. I'm in the lead. I'm in charge. I call the shots. Alison used to be the one who could blackmail any of us at any time, but now the truth is, I have more on her than she'll ever have on me. I could ruin her, and she knows it. But what we also know is that I would never do anything to hurt her. And that is the difference in Alison and me.
As we sit down on the rock, Ali holds my hand again. I start to feel guilty. Is this wrong? Am I cheating on Paige? Ali is just a friend, right?
Almost as if she's reading my mind, Ali clears her throat and says, "You're not cheating on Paige, Em. Not by holding my hand. Not even if you kissed me. The truth is, Paige is the cheater."
I look at her, horrified by what she's saying. Has my girlfriend been cheating on me without my knowledge?
"She's not cheating on you, though, Emily. She's cheating the rules. She's cheating me out of what she promised me."
I drop Ali's hand. "What are you talking about, Alison? Paige hated you and you bullied her before you disappeared."
Ali scoffs at this. The moonlight keeps her face as bright and clear as day, but everything else around us seems dark. "Is that what she told you? Paige and I had an agreement. Ever since I disappeared, she was supposed to be watching over you. She was supposed to keep you safe."
Slowly, I ask the question that I don't want the answer to. "What are you saying right now, Ali?"
"What I'm saying is," she says quietly, "Paige has known since the beginning that I was alive. It's a dangerous world out there, Em. It's like we're in a war with…well, I can't explain all of that right now. People have been trying to hurt you and the others since I disappeared. And I care about you too much to let that happen. I asked Paige to keep an eye out for you. She was never supposed to fall in love with you, Emily. She was keeping you safe until I could come home for you."
And just like that, my life is broken.
