Notes: I didn't abandon this story, in case anyone was wondering. I've just been very busy. So um...basically there's a lot of Sukka this chapter, but don't worry Sokklateers, your time is coming! :D Be patient and you shall be rewarded!


1.

September

Six Months Later

Sokka rolled over, staring at the uneven surface of the plaster wall, Suki's taste clinging to his lips. He felt her hand on his back, resting gently there as if to soothe him.

He didn't feel soothed.

He didn't feel much of anything, really. It had been three months since he'd last seen her, since they'd made love. There had been nights when he'd missed her so much he'd thought he'd go crazy for wanting her, when his bed had felt too damned empty to sleep in. On those nights, he'd sought a bottle and fallen asleep at his desk or his couch. He missed her. He loved her.

She'd been back in Republic City for nearly three days though, three days, and this was the first night they'd been together. He should have been ecstatic, should have stripped her naked the moment they'd gotten away from Zuko and all the pomp a visit from the Fire Lord brought.

But that hadn't been what had happened.

Every kiss was…different. Every caress, every look she gave him seemed distant, weighted down by something…and if he were honest, the reticence was coming from both of them.

Not for the first time, he felt that something was standing between them, something unspoken, unacknowledged, something with a hint of regret about it. He had a feeling he knew what that something was, and it soured his good mood like a stab in the back.

"So that was…" Suki started, her hand hot on his back as he glared at the wall.

"Yeah."

"I think we're both just tired and stressed," she said lightly. "It's been a busy couple of days. I know I've been in meeting after meeting with Zuko. He's been exhausted. I'm worried about him."

A sour taste flooded into his mouth as he tightened his jaw, staring daggers at the plaster. If he'd been a Combustion Firebender, he would have involuntarily blown the whole damned wall apart.

Zuko.

It always came back to Zuko with her. There had been a time when he'd thought the way Suki looked out for Zuko was sweet, just another wonderful aspect of her caring personality, and a natural off-shoot of her job as his chief bodyguard, and as his friend. However, over the years, he'd started to suspect that Suki had a crush on Zuko.

He hadn't thought much of it at first. Suki had always been in love with him, after all. Despite the fact that she lived in the Fire Nation, and that he split his time between the Republic and the Southern Water Tribe, going months in between seeing each other, their relationship had been strong, full of love and passion. He hadn't felt threatened by a harmless little crush, not when it was his arms Suki was sleeping in. Not when Zuko hadn't seemed like he reciprocated those feelings. Not when Zuko and Mai were together.

Things had started to change over the past year or so, though, and he couldn't help but notice that it had started, more or less, when Mai had broken up with Zuko.

And then there were the rumors.

To be sure, there were always rumors floating around about Zuko, about Aang and Katara, about Toph. Even about Sokka. Being friends with the Avatar and the Fire Lord, and the famous inventor of Metalbending put one in the crosshairs of the public. Ludicrous stories followed all of them wherever they went. Most of them were outright lies, and others only held the barest grain of truth, blown all out of proportion.

But…somehow, the rumors about Zuko sleeping with his chief bodyguard had struck him somewhere deep in his heart. A part of him knew that it wasn't true, that neither Suki nor Zuko would do something like that to him…but there was a nasty, bitter part of him that did believe it. Maybe not that they were sleeping together, but that something was going on.

He'd noticed something between the two of them, a closeness that hadn't been there before. The smiles and the way they touched each other, the way Zuko had kissed her hand before they'd left. It had seemed gentlemanly, but the blush in Suki's cheeks had made Sokka see red. He'd even seen the way Zuko had watched him and Suki when they'd left together earlier tonight. The look on his face had been…tortured.

"You can't seem to get Zuko off of your mind," he said out loud, and there was no hiding the bitterness in his voice. "I'm surprised he even let you off of your leash tonight."

Suki's hand slid away from his back and he felt her sit up on the bed behind him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," he mumbled, closing his eyes. "We should get some sleep. I have a meeting with the builders over at Air Temple Island, and you've got a big day of standing around watching Zuko's every move."

Suki made an insulted little noise; half-sigh, half-growl of aggravation. "It's my job to watch his every move."

"Yeah, doesn't mean you have to be up his ass every damned minute too. I hope he doesn't charge rent." He pitched his voice higher, imitating her. "'Oh, Zuko! Can I get you anything? Do you need me to work later? What can I do for you? I want to please you, Zuko!'"

"Excuse me? What in the fuck are you implying, Sokka!?"

He sat up and rolled over to face her. She was sitting against the headboard, arms crossed, holding the sheets over her naked breasts. Her face was livid with anger and confusion.

She doesn't even get it.

"I don't know what I'm implying. I just feel like you didn't even want to be here tonight," he said, pushing his legs off of the bed. He sat on the end and hunched over, rubbing his eyes. Exhaustion crawled over him, and not just from their lovemaking. He'd had a long day.

"We haven't seen each other for three months. Trust me, I wanted nothing more than to be with you tonight. Why would you think I wouldn't?" she said, her voice full of hurt.

"Because Zuko might need you."

"Zuko has Ty Lee to guard him tonight. He…he doesn't need me. Zuko knows that we haven't seen each other for a while. He feels bad about how long it's been, actually."

"Not bad enough to give you time off to come for a visit."

Suki's eyes narrowed. "It's not like you took time off to come visit me."

"Well, I've been really busy. I've got about ten projects on my plate right now."

"And I've been busy too."

"No, Zuko's been busy," he said uncharitably.

"When he's busy, I'm busy. That's how my job works."

"Yeah, but anyone could do your job, you don't have to be up his ass all of the time."

He regretted the words as soon as they left him. Suki's face shut down, her jaw clenching as she tightened her lips. Her blue eyes blazed in an instant.

"Is that what you think? That my work is...nothing? Unimportant? Easy?"

"I didn't mean…" he started, but she'd already thrown the sheet off and was climbing out of his bed. "Suki…"

"You know, I don't know what your problem is, but you can shove it up your ass, Sokka. I didn't come here to be insulted. I didn't come here to accused of…of…I don't even know what!" she shot at him, grabbing her discarded dress and yanking it on.

Regret filled him as he grabbed the sheet and wrapped it around his waist. He shot to his feet and crossed the room to her. "Don't…don't go! I'm sorry!"

"Damned right you're sorry!" Suki said, whirling on him and jabbing him in the shoulder. "My job may not be important to you, but it is to me! If you don't respect that, then you don't respect me! And if you don't respect me, then you can just go fuck yourself next time I'm in town!"

"I'm sorry!" he exclaimed, running a hand through his hair. "I'm just… I shouldn't have said that. I don't know what my problem is."

"That makes two of us," Suki said, glaring at him. "I came here to be with you, Sokka. I want to be with you… Not anyone else."

Sokka met her gaze, trying to find the truth in her words. Even though she hadn't said Zuko's name, his spirit seemed to hover in the air between them, invisible, his influence like a spreading, seeping stain. Bitterness filled him. He wanted to believe her, he wanted to believe that there was nothing going on between his girlfriend and one of his best friends. He wanted to believe that Zuko wouldn't do that. Most of all, he wanted things to be how they used to be.

He felt like he was losing her.

"I want to be with you too," he said, reaching out a hand and cupping her cheek.

"Then stop being a jerk," she said, putting her hand on his and tilting her head into his palm. A little smile softened the anger on her face and he felt his own anxiety ease.

I'm being stupid. Maybe I've been making it all up. Maybe there's nothing going on. Maybe I just believed those rumors when I should have known better…

"I love you and I miss you," he said softly and was rewarded with a full smile from her.

"I miss you too," she said, putting her arms around his neck. She drew herself up against him as his arms wrapped around her waist. "So stop trying to push me away. I'm leaving in the morning…"

"Seems I'm wasting time then…" he said, feeling desire uncoil in his groin. He nuzzled her nose, inhaling her scent. He kissed her softly, as if to make up for earlier. Not just the fight, but the awkward lovemaking as well.

Suki's lips slid along his, soft and ripe. He lifted her off of her feet, her powerful, feminine body like a licking flame, igniting him. She groaned in the back of her throat, wrapping her legs around his waist. He turned them toward the bed as the sheet slipped off of his hips and fell to the floor, tangling on his feet.

He stumbled forward, and they landed on the bed with a bounce. She laughed as she broke the kiss, her fingers burying in his loose hair. "Whoops…"

"Idiot," she said, brushing his hair back. She kissed the tip of his nose and he felt warmth spread down his spine. He pulled back, staring into her eyes.

"Suki…you're the only woman I'll ever love…" he said seriously. Suki went still beneath him. A flash of…something…went across her face, so fleeting that he almost thought he'd imagined it. She bit down on her lower lip for a second, swallowing.

"And you're… Sokka, you're…" she stammered and then lifted up, slamming a rough kiss to his lips. He tried to pull back, uneasiness flaring through him, but she held him tightly to her. Her hand reached between them, encircling him.

"Suki…"

"Shut up and fuck me, Sokka," she said against his lips.

A groan left him, guttural and filled with desperation. Rucking her dress up around her hips as she slid her thighs around his waist, he, pinned her there beneath him. Suki bucked her hips upward and he entered her with a shared groan of pleasure.

Their bodies moved together, fingers clenching, clutching. He took her hard and fast, trying, in some way to keep her there with him. But no matter how his fingers dug into her, no matter how hard he kissed her, he felt like she was a million miles away from him. The look in her eyes wasn't passionate; it was determined.

Afterwards, she rolled over onto her side, breathing hard, hugging her arms around her middle. Sokka lay on his back, sweat drenching him as the silence between them turned into an echo of all of the things they weren't saying.

Sokka stared at the ceiling, noticing how Suki made sure she wasn't touching him. He reached out a hand to touch her shoulder, but drew back at the last moment. He closed his eyes, the ache in his chest radiating throughout his body.

She's right here…I'm still losing her.


"We should all get together soon," Aang was saying as he embraced Zuko in a warm, back-thumping hug. Sokka watched from the sidelines as Zuko pulled back with a large smile on his face.

"Of course! I know how busy you are building the Temple," he said, gesturing to the island and the various buildings under construction with one hand, "but even you have to take a break sometime, Aang."

"Katara and I would love to have you come stay when the Temple is completely finished. It's been too long since we all took a vacation together."

"Vacation? What's that?" Zuko scoffed as Aang laughed. He turned to Katara and drew her into a warm hug. "Take care of him, will you? I think your husband works too hard."

"He does, and I try my best to slow him down, but you know how he is," Katara said, cupping Zuko's face and kissing his cheek. "But tell me who's taking care of you, Zuko?"

Sokka didn't miss the way Zuko's gaze furtively skirted toward Suki, who was standing a few feet away, talking to Toph. Ty Lee was pacing the courtyard where Zuko's airship was moored, one hand on her fan, the winds coming in off of the sea lifting her long brown braid off of her shoulder.

"I don't need anyone to take care of me, Katara," Zuko said, shifting in place, looking embarrassed. Katara lifted one eyebrow at him. "No matter what my Council says."

"Still after you to get married?" Aang asked with a laugh.

"It's their favorite topic. They're probably going to auction me off if I don't get married soon," Zuko said, but the worry in his voice was only half-serious.

"Poor Zuko…" Katara said, patting his arm and walking toward the women. She leaned into Suki and the women embraced. "Make sure he doesn't get devoured by the women of the Fire Nation, would you?"

"Are you kidding? Making sure Zuko's fangirls don't rip his clothes off on a daily basis is half of my job description," Suki said, cutting her gaze toward Zuko, whose lips parted as if he might say something.

"And the other half?" Sokka said sharply, his voice cutting through the air like a knife.

Zuko cleared his throat as Aang and Katara shared a look, and Suki's lips pressed together in a thin line.

"Making sure no one assassinates me in my sleep," Zuko said, his tone purposefully light, though it did nothing to ease the knot of tension in Sokka's chest. A thousand accusing words tumbled up from the roiling pit of his stomach and teetered on the tip of his tongue as Zuko met his gaze with a confused expression on his scarred face.

And what's she doing in your bedroom while you sleep? The question lived and died in his blue eyes as he glared at his friend.

"Well, you're not dead or bedding desperate ladies every night, so I guess you're definitely getting what you're paying for. I'd say Suki deserves a raise," Toph joked, her voice breaking through the tension as she jabbed her elbow into Suki's ribs. The others laughed, but Suki was staring at him with a hurt expression on her face.

The awkwardness of last night hadn't been forgotten. This morning had been tense. Neither of them had said much over breakfast. There were so many things that they just weren't talking about, and he felt like a complete chicken shit for not confronting her. For not asking the right questions. For not demanding that she tell him what was wrong.

But he knew what was wrong, or thought he did.

Now he could barely look her in the eyes. And all he wanted to do was grab Zuko by the throat and shove him against the airship while demanding that he stop looking at Suki like that.

She's mine, asshole. Just because Mai left you doesn't mean you can take my girlfriend from me…

As soon as that thought entered his head, he felt a rising tide of guilt in him that he pushed back with painful twist. His hands fisted at his sides as Toph hugged Suki. Suki said something to her that he couldn't hear, her gaze still on him over the smaller woman's shoulder.

"Sokka?" He started as he turned toward Zuko, who had walked over to him, his hand out. Automatically, he took Zuko's hand, shaking it. "We haven't had much of a chance to talk since I arrived."

"I know you've been busy," he said curtly.

"Yes," Zuko agreed with a shrug. "But still. I hope you and Suki had a nice night. I know she's been pining for you the last couple of weeks."

"Has she?" he said through stiff lips.

Zuko looked at him oddly. "Of course. You know, I feel like I've been keeping her from you."

I'll bet you do.

"Is there something going on that I should know about, Zuko?" Sokka said softly, glancing toward Suki, who was watching them with an apprehensive look on her face. He turned back to Zuko, who looked perplexed.

"I don't know what you mean." He did look confused, Sokka noticed. Zuko's eyes narrowed and he leaned toward him, his voice pitching lower. "Did you and Suki have a fight?"

"No. It's nothing. She just seemed distracted. We…uh…both were."

"Oh, I see. Well, I'm sure it's nothing." Sokka studied Zuko's face as he turned his gaze on Suki. Zuko's eyes softened for a moment and then he squared his shoulders, clapping him on the shoulder. "She loves you very much, Sokka. You're a lucky man."

"Don't you fucking forget it."

Before Zuko could respond to his pointed remark, Zuko's pilot came out of the airship and announced that they were ready to depart. Zuko squeezed his shoulder and then walked away. He hugged Toph, and then Katara again, before shaking Aang's hand.

Sokka turned to see Suki coming toward him. She'd been keeping her distance since they'd arrived on Air Temple Island together. The odd, unspoken weight seemed to settle between them even now.

"Sokka…" She reached for him, enclosing his fingers in her gloved hand. There was a sad, worried look on her painted face. "Is everything okay? Did I… Did I do something? Are you angry with me?"

Here was his chance. Just ask her. Ask her what's going on between her and Zuko. Ask her if the rumors are true. Do it. You have to know…

The questions tumbled back down his throat, choking him. He stared into her beautiful eyes and felt a weight on his chest. He thought of the distance between them last night, the miles stretching between their hearts, even as they made love. Everything was different. Something had changed.

He couldn't say the words though.

"No, of course not. I'm just… I'm being an asshole. I just don't want you to go," he said, which was the truth. If she left now, he knew, somewhere deep down, that he might never get her back. He didn't know how he knew it, but he felt it in his bones. He reached out and cupped her face.

"I don't want to go either. Maybe in a few weeks I can come for a visit. If Zuko doesn't need me, that is."

Anger flashed in him. "I'm sure if you just told him you needed time off he'd give it to you."

"I'll ask," she said softly. "Write to me and let me know when your schedule isn't so hectic, okay? Actually…just write to me. Please? I miss you so much when you don't write."

He forced a smile onto his lips. "I promise. I'll write every week. Twice, if I can spare the time."

"Don't forget."

"I won't," he said solemnly.

"Are we okay?" she asked tentatively.

"Of course," he said, bringing her in for a soft, sweet kiss. He could still feel the heat between them, and despite it all, despite his questions, his suspicions, her distance, he knew that she felt it too. When he pulled away, he rested his forehead against hers. "Don't forget about me when you're gone."

"Never," she said with a smile.

"We'll be together again soon."

"Promise?"

"I promise," he said and kissed her lips lightly. Then she slipped out of his hands and walked to the airship, which was floating a foot or so off of the courtyard now. Zuko and Ty Lee were already in the carriage, and as Suki approached, the Fire Lord held out his hand for her. He pulled her into the open door of the carriage, and the buffeting winds practically threw them into each other.

Sokka's eyes narrowed as he saw Zuko's arm slip around Suki's waist to steady her. She smiled at him, one hand on his shoulder. Zuko's face colored and then he let go of her, pulling the door shut with a wave of his hand. Aang cut the mooring ropes and the airship lifted into the early autumn sky, spiraling up into the clouds with a golden glint and a flash of red.

Sokka watched them go until the clouds swallowed them, his arms crossed over his chest, his face a mask. Katara and Aang walked away, but Toph came and stood silently beside him.

After a few minutes, she punched his shoulder.

"Ow."

"Wuss." He grunted in reply and she let out an exasperated sound. "What is your problem? Seriously, I thought you were going to punch Zuko for a minute there."

"Stay out of it, Toph."

She snorted. "Like that's gonna happen. What's the deal?"

"Go away," he turned on his heel to walk away, but the ground beneath his feet shifted and he felt the cobblestones rise, entrapping his left foot with a hard grip. He looked down at his trapped foot and then up at Toph. "Seriously?"

"Start talking," Toph said, jabbing him in the shoulder. He stared at her, knowing that she wasn't going to let him get away, not until she got what she wanted. Reluctantly, he ran a hand down his face and sighed.

"Suki and I…"

"Had a fight?"

"Sort of. Things are weird. I don't know why."

"Sure, just like you haven't heard an ass-ton of rumors about Zuko banging your girlfriend," Toph said and for once, he felt a little jealous of Toph's ability to cut through the bullshit and hit the heart of the matter dead in the black.

"They're not true."

"I know that. Suki wouldn't cheat on you, and I know Zuko wouldn't do anything so underhanded. But do you know that?"

His jaw jutted out, teeth clenching hard as he glanced at his friend. "She has a crush on him."

"A crush? What are we, teenagers? Who cares if she's got a crush on him. She's in love with you."

"I'm not sure if that's true anymore. I think there's something going on there. Maybe she doesn't realize it. Maybe he doesn't…but I can just feel it. I just… I think I'm losing her," he whispered, feeling gutted.

"So how is acting like a festering butthole and pushing her away supposed to help then? If you think you're losing her, then go get her."

"It's not that simple."

"It is for me. See the guy. Want the guy. Get the guy."

"Kick the guy out in the morning when you're done with him," he teased, fighting a grin for the first time. To her credit, Toph didn't look even a bit ashamed as she shrugged and grinned back at him.

"Men are like apples. Satisfying when I have a craving, but easily bruised and just as easily tossed out when I'm finished with them."

"Slut."

"That's Chief Slut to you," she said, affronted as she lightly tapped his chin with her closed fist. "Cheer up. You haven't lost her yet."

"What if I do?"

Toph shrugged again and released his foot. "I wish I had the answers for you, Sokka, but I don't."

He watched her walk away for a moment, and the glanced up at the sky. The airship was long gone though. He felt a weight settle on his chest. He hoped that he was wrong, that it was just those stupid rumors getting to him.

He declined to say goodbye to his sister and brother-in-law and rode the ferry back to the city in a cloud of unhappiness. He tried to throw himself into his work, but all he could think about was the way Zuko had put his arm around Suki's waist to steady her. Finally, darkness fell on the city, and a thick fog rolled in off of the sea.

It matched his mood. He stared out his office window for a long while, and then pulled out a bottle of alcohol. It burned all the way down his throat, but he took drink after drink just to dull the pain. It was nearing midnight, everything swirling and warm, when he passed out at his desk.

He dreamed of Suki, and a shadow between them. He reached for her, but there was someone else there instead. He screamed a name, he wasn't sure what it was, and then he felt like he was falling into water. The ocean swallowed him up, tumbling him through the surf. His lungs screamed for air, but as he stroked for the surface, a hand came down on top of his head and pushed him back under.

"WAKE UP!" someone shouted, as he felt something cold and wet slap him in the face with a startling shock.

"NO!" he screamed, sitting up and reeling out of his chair. He landed against the wall, catching himself on his bookshelf at the last second. Still half-caught in his drink-induced nightmare, he wasn't sure if the phantom before him was real, or just another horrible part of his dream. "What the fuck….?"

"Oh good, you're awake," Azula sneered.