Chapter 2
-Zara-
Never in his life had Nick felt so numb.
His limbs became frozen, his mind was empty.
"It's Zara, she's gone"
That's all he could hear, the words were twirling in his head.
"Nick?" he suddenly realized the phone was still by his ear.
"Where are you?" Nick's voice was back and he finally could format a sentence.
Maria let him know the address and he didn't know if he answered her but he took his keys and walked to his car.
Nick wasn't sure what he was doing. Did he lock the door on the way out? Did he open the car's door? Was he driving? It felt like it wasn't happening, was Zara really gone?
He felt weak, light headed. As if he was nowhere and nothing was real.
Somehow he managed to call Benson, he didn't say much, or maybe he did, he couldn't remember what he had told her. When he finally reached the restaurant she was there along with other cops. Some seemed to be interviewing people, others were on their phones or walking somewhere. Nick could see that Olivia didn't notice he had arrived.
He saw Maria sitting on a chair and he walked towards her. He changed his mind a moment later as he wasn't sure he could speak to her peacefully.
"Liv" he ran over to her "what's going on?"
"Did you talk to Maria?" she asked him.
"Not yet, I just got here, what's going on?" Nick repeated the question.
"Nick" she said walking to the side so they could have some privacy "I know this is hard but…"
"Please don't give me that bull" he tried to control his voice "just tell me what's going on"
"Maria told me Zara walked out of the restaurant to the machine" she pointed at it's direction and he turned his head to look at it "she walked to the bathroom and when…"
"She went to the bathroom" Nick repeated, he turned away, scratching a non existing itch under his right eye.
"Do you have anything?" he asked, turning to face her.
"The officers are interviewing witnesses, and I've sent others to get footage from every security camera in the area" he nodded "Nick, I want you to go back to the station with me, I'm taking Maria there too" Olivia looked at him, he was still quiet "we'll find her Nick"
Back at the station Nick saw Amanda and Fin walk out of the elevator. Olivia drove him and Maria to the and they were about to go into her office.
Nick was at the restaurant only for a short time but he hadn't seen them there. They looked like they had been out for a while though. Amanda gave him a concerned look once she'd seen him and he followed her with his gaze as she walked to her desk.
Olivia called him and he walked after her and Maria into her office.
"Sit down" she told them "Nick?" Olivia turned to him as he was still standing.
"I rather stand" he answered "I want to hear what happened"
Olivia gave him a look, she could see the anger in his eyes, but he wasn't looking at her "what happened?" he asked Maria.
She had tears in her eyes, but she tried to speak calmly "the flight was pushed back so we went to eat there, we were a bit late and she wanted to buy something from the machine so I gave her money and went to the bathroom, I was gone for just a few minutes…"
"Few minutes? To save a little bit of time you've left her alone for a few minutes?" Nick asked, Olivia was about to say something but he raised his arm a bit, asking her to let him talk "after all this years, all the stories I've told you, you left her alone?"
"Nick…" Olivia tried again.
But Nick didn't listen, he was filled with rage now and his voice got louder until it turned into screams "how could you do that? She is just a little girl, how could you? You took her away from me and now she might be…what were you thinking? You just left her…"
"Enough!" Liv shouted and he looked at her.
Nick didn't say anything else, he had to get out of there, he just couldn't handle it.
He slammed the door on his way out and walked out side of the squad room, ignoring the looks of the other detectives and officers.
Feeling the punching bag against his fists was better than nothing, at least he could feel the pain caused by the friction between his skin and the fabric. It didn't mask the pain of his daughter being gone, but at least he could control this pain, at least he knew where it originated and how he could make it stop.
But it wasn't enough.
Nick's eyes were focused on the bag, he didn't want to see anything else. He didn't want to think, he only wanted to erase everything from his mind.
"Nick" he heard someone call him, the voice was soft and he could hear the worry in it. He didn't have to turn to know who it was.
She walked over to him but he kept on hitting the bag, but a little slower now.
"Nick" she called him again when she stood next to him, one hand reached his to stop him from throwing another punch.
Amanda held on to his hand, it wasn't too firm, but strong enough so he would understand she wanted him to stop.
He looked at her and for a moment they stared at each other, looking into one another's eyes until he lowered his arm and turned his whole body towards her.
She moved closer, until only a few inches separated between them. Her left hand reached to gently touch his chest.
"It will be ok, we will find her" She told him
He shook his head "all I think about is what might happen…I can't…"
It was her turn to protest "I know, but right now you need to be strong for her, you can't argue like that with Maria, you can't blame her"
"She…" he tried but Amanda didn't let him talk.
"The only person who's to blame is the one who took her, and we will do everything" she could tell he was about to protest "everything, and we will find her. But Nick, when we do she's gonna need both of you, both you and Maria" she stopped for a second, he didn't say anything, but he was focused on her so she continued "you need to be strong for Zara, both of you need to be strong"
"Yeah" he whispered, his eyes getting teary "but I just…Amanda, I just can't breathe…"
"I know" she nodded and then put her arms around him, embracing him. It felt better, not painful at all. He held on to her tightly, not caring if anyone walks in right now.
He wasn't sure how long they were standing there, but he knew he had to let her go at some point. Pulling away she reached out to wipe a tear that had rolled down his cheek, her hand lingered there a bit and she gave him a little smile.
"It will be alright" she said before leaving, she had to go back.
Nick wanted nothing more than to believe her, he needed everything to be alright. But is it really going to be? Will he ever see Zara again?
A few minutes after Amanda had left the room he walked back to Benson's office.
"I'm sorry" he apologized to Maria the moment he walked through the door, avoiding the look he knew Liv would give him "I shouldn't have blamed you" he said.
"You were right Nick" she said "if I didn't let her go alone…"
"It doesn't matter now" he said, clearly he was still mad, but he did his best to control his voice "let's focus on finding her"
"That's what we are doing" Liv said and walked over to Nick "come with me"
They walked out of her office towards Fin's desk "I want the two of you to go through the cases we've worked, see if anyone could be behind this, and Nick" she gave him a severe look "stay here, if you find something" she turned to look at Fin "send someone else"
"Ok" Fin nodded.
"Rollins" she turned to look at Amanda "go through every piece of footage"
"On it" Amanda said, glancing at Nick for a second, he seemed focused on the files Fin handed him.
"Come in" the man said as he opened the door.
The little girl walked into the apartment and looked around.
"We'll stay here while we wait" he smiled at her.
tbc...
