Oi oi? Back for more? Wow! I'm surprised!!
Ussop- You must have the wrong page, you should go back to the previous pa-
DIIIE!!
-offscreen violent scene of Saru bashing Ussop's skull in with foot-
Luffy- Saru says he in no way owns One Piece.... because I do!
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"Oi oi, a little Ale, Eyebrow?" Zoro rudely asked the blonde cook. "Sure thing... Marimo" he said, unusually cheerfully at his accursed nickname.
Everyone seemed to be in a happy daze aboard the Thousand Sunny. Even Robin's usually stoic demeanor was adorned in a cheerful smile as she awaited her meal.
The crew was enjoying a pleasant evening, indeed this whole day itself was the very definition of mild! The humanoid reindeer waddled up to Brook, their newest member. "Are you gonna treat us to a song as we eat today Brook?" he smiled, "Because Ussop's gonna tell us this really awesome story that needs a really awesome background music!"
The skeletal musician's permenant grin grew wider, "YOHOHOHO! Indeed, indeed I shall, I also enjoy in Usopp's fables!"
Sanji had everyone seated in their rightful places and began serving, Luffy was getting served last because of his impatience. "Hey! Ussop!" Chopper leaned over the mighty table, "Please go on with that story you were telling me and Luffy!!" his big round eyes sparkling
"Er... o-of course Chopper!" Ussop shriveled in his chair, he knew the rest of the crew would catch him in his story... then what would Chopper think of him then?! A no-good lying armadillo... that's what he'd call him...
"Ni? What story is this?" Nami perked up from the magnificent dinner placed in front of her
"You know, the story about what happened to he and Luffy that tie when they were carried away by that huge gust of wind!" Chopper smiled at his navigator crewmate.
"Oh! Right! Luffy told me about that!" Nami returned to her meal
"Th-Then yo-you should tell it N-Nami!" Ussop was relieved he had found a loophole in his little problem...
"I'm not familiar with that story..." Brook looked at the sharpshooter with his hollow eyesockets. "Wel of course not Brook, you weren't part of our crew when that happened!" Luffy laughed at his musician.
"Tell it Longnose!!" Franky chimed in "You always tell the most SUPER stories!!"
Ussop started to sweat again. "O-okay, n-now where was I?" he shivered in his suspenders...
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"Gnaaaa... meat, glorious meat!" Luffy repeated over and over in his head. He was having the most wonderful dream about an island of meat...
Suddenly he awoke, the barrel of a shotgun was pointed to his nose. Forgetting he was rubber, Luffy freaked out. His jaw stretched in a realistic (for him anyway) facefault. He screamed
The aimer covered his ears, "Pipe down fool!"
The strawhat boy, remembering his powers and situation, came to his senses, "Where's Usopp?!" he looked over the large deck of the ship desperately for his long-nosed friend. "Eh? Ussop? Who's that? ...you weirdo..."
Luffy turned back to the shooter, he was a tall, scrawny boy about his age. His short black hair was neatly combed back except for two thick bangs which flipped over to the left side, partially covering his left eye. Donned in an orange patchwork jacket with white fuzzy trim and cargo pants, Luffy was taken aback at the fact that the gun wasn't being held in his hand...
It was coming out of his sleeve!!
"Ni? D'your gun eat your arm? Your arm must've been weak... maybe the rifle will eat all of you sooner or later!" Luffy childishly jeered. "Quiet fool!" the shooter yelled in a facefault, "It's the Soge Soge no mi powers, you ignorant pig!!"
"Soge Soge huh?" Luffy repeated, taking little interest, only looking around for his companion
"Yes, Soge Soge, need I repeat myself?" the boy took the rifle away from Luffy's face, posing in a very haughty manner. "A commoner like you has probably never even heard of the Devil Fruit... ignorant pig" he said, obviously content with himself
When he opened his eyes hoping to see the dumbstruck look of the ignorant boy with the strawhat, hoping and pleading for him to show off his awesome strength and BEG him to become one of his crewmembers... Strawhat was mindlessly looking all over the empty deck
"HEY!!" He screamed, "LISTEN TO ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!!"
Luffy was turning over barrels, picking up crates, and searching through cabins trying to find his sharpshooter. "Wow... nobody's here!!" Luffy echoed through an empty cabin, only one of several empty cabins that he searched through, "You must be a newbie pirate!" he smiled widely at his captor
"I HAVE OTHER CREWMEMBERS!!" the boy yelled, returning his rifle appendage to a regular hand, "I just don't take members without soul! ...er... Anymore!!" he continued.
"Uh-huh, really... Ya got any food?" Luffy asked bluntly, completely forgetting the previous conversation.
"YOU'RE MY CAPTIVE! WHY WOULD I FEED YOU?!" he shrieked again, his face comically distorted again by a facefault
Luffy heard a door open from one of the many cabins. He looked up, it was the topmost cabin on the great wall of the ship's deck. A slender woman, no more than 20, dressed in a regular orange tshirt with cargo pants and a marine cap ('marine' uncouthly marked out with a marker) walked out angrilly. Her dark hair was messy, it looked like she had just woken up.
"WANI?!" she shrieked, "WHAT'S WITH ALL THE YELLING?!"
"This pig just fell out of nowhere and demanded food, so I decided he would be our captive!" Wani shouted back
"Oh!" the woman slowly climbed down the metal ladder, "So he's the first captive of the King's Pirates?" she said excitedly. "King's Pirates?" Luffy asked, now intruiged again at the mention of rivals for One Piece. "Yeah, that's us!" Wani smiled, forgetting Luffy's 'captive' state for a moment
"Hey! Do YOU have any food?!" Luffy quickly begged the beatuiful Ex-Marine for food
"NO FOOD FOR YOU!!" Wani stomped on his rubber head
"Aw, come on Wani... he's so thin!" Mia Love cooed to her captain...
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"You know Mia... we're really not supposed to feed the captives..." Wani grumbled
The three pirates were sitting in the mighty ship's vast dining room. Luffy sat opposite Wani and Mia Love, stuffing himself silly with the many kinds of meat Mia Love had so graciously placed on the table.
"Do, wha kyda pidats hab ondly doo mebers onda big sip lyk dis?" Luffy sputtered through his meat-inflated cheeks
Wani and Mia Love were simply shocked that this slender, lanky boy could not only fit in an entire Sea King's worth of meat into his stomach, but that his body was able to stretch to fit his gigantic meal! They stared in awe as his continued to shovel ore food into his maw.
"Wbell?" Luffy asked again, "Why ondly doo?"
"Er... we... used to be... a lot... erm... fuller- I mean bigger!" Mia Love had never seen anything like this! She was amazed!
"Yeah... that's why we... er... don't hire anyone without soul..." Wani's appetite had long since left him... after all, this boy was practically a walking, stretching stomach!
"Doul?" Luffy questioned
"M-maybe we should talk after dinner..." Wani covered his mouth with his hands, seeing Luffy's eating was making the poor aspiring captain sick...
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"Alright, now what's your name Strawhat?" Wani had beared through Luffy's antics for an hour now, and he wanted some answers on his new 'captive'. He had tied Luffy to a chair around the waist and elbow, and he was willing to hold the boy up at gunpoint for some information
"Monkey D. Luffy, and I'm gonna be King of the Pirates!" he said proudly
Wani gave him a sceptical look, "Are you stupid, ignorant pig?" he spat bitterly. "A little kid like you? King of the Pirates?"
"Maybe, but- HEY! DON'T INSULT ME, BESIDES YOU'RE ONLY A LITTLE OLDER THAN ME!!" Luffy yelled
"YOU'RE ON MY SHIP, I'LL INSULT YOU IF I WANT TO!!"
"SHUT UP TWO BANGS!!"
"DON'T INSULT MY HAIR!!"
"YOU'RE ON MY SHIP, I'LL INSULT YOU IF I WANT!"
"YOU'RE ON MY SHIP YOU IGNORANT PIG!!"
"Will you two idiots shut up?!" Mia Love massaged her temples, yelling gave her such a headache, "Look, he's an enemy pirate, Wani I think we should keep him until we can find his crew."
"Why?! He's an enemy?!" Wani shouted, only to be punched by his ship's cook. "Because, he hasn't done anything wrong to the ship, or us, so why bother?"
"You're too nice... especially to the captives..."
"He's the first one we've ever had!"
Luffy piped up, "Uh... if you don't mind I-" The two King Pirates turned to the rubber man, only to see that he had undone the knots! "DAMMIT WANI!!" Mia Love punched her superior again, "YOU SUCK AT TIEING WITH THOSE BULLET FINGERS!!"
"HEY, I TIE JUST FINE!!" Wani retorted, "No human could have bent their elbows at that angle!"
As if for demonstration, Luffy then stretched his arms around the two pirates, much to their amazement and confusion. "I KNEW IT!!" Wani shouted, pointing a now pistol-converted index finger at Luffy, "I KNEW IT WAS THE DEVIL FRUIT!!"
He fired, only to have the bullets bounce off of Luffy, who in return slammed Wani and Mia Love into the wooden floor, crashing the Cook into the next level down. Wani emerged from the rubble and aimed at Luffy with his Shotgun arm.
"Soge Soge no.... SHOTGUN!" he yelled, firing a barrage of bullets towards Luffy, all harmlessly bouncing off of the idiotic captain.
"Gomu Gomu no.... PISTOL!!" Luffy returned the favor with his own shot, his arm stretched and pegged the captain in the face, knocking him to the floor
"WHAT THE HELL, MAN?!" Wani complained loudly, firing another shot from his finger, "THIS ISN'T FAIIIIIR!!" his face was twisted into another facefault. Luffy just ducked his head down, "I just want to get back to my ship..." he said, unusually forlorn, for he didn't know how far away that gust of wind had taken him...
Mia Love, regaining conciousness, emerged from the rubble wearilly, "We're docked, you know..." she said drowzilly
"WE ARE?! NO WAY!!!" Luffy energetically climbed back out to the deck, where he proceeded to jump out to the port town...
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"How come I never met this Mia Love?!" Sanji was all ears ever since Wani's cook was mentioned, "SHE SOUNDS HEEEEAVENLY3!!" his one visible eye was once again a big pink heart.
"You should have jumped on the sail with us, and then you would have met her!" Luffy laughed, which followed Sanji kicking his head in. "I know, I know, just let me finish!!" Ussop was glad no one knew the EXACT details of this story...
"Hey hey!!" Luffy, fully recovered, chimed back in, "LEMM'E TELL IT!!"
"Er... I don't know if..." Ussop shrunk back. He was wrong... ONE person knew the exact details, and that was the other person who experienced it! He only got so far on what Luffy told him, how would he make a great, heroic story when Luffy told the others about what happened next?!
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Ni? What? You wanna find out what Luffy knows that Ussop doesn't? You lazy bum! CHECK BACK LATER!!
