Chapter 2
Riddick carefully grabbed the kid's clothes and lifted it single-handed like a wet kitten until their eyes were at the same height. He turned his head slightly, so that the bright spotlights did not shine in his sensitive eyes.
"That's what you think, kid?" he growled.
The sticky girl stared in the mercury eyes and squealed, "Put me down, you'll rumple my dress! And you got to sit me on your lap and sing me the "Here comes Santa" carol and ask me if I like Rudolph and then you have to ask me if I've been a good girl and then you got to give me my pre-sent! Don't you know anything?"
Riddick dropped her like a hot coal on his lap, put his mouth near the small ear and whispered, "Nice try. I don't sing. I give you your present, you get lost. Fast. And bad things won't happen to you. Who the fuck is Rudolph?"
The girl's face went red, making her look like a small sticky raspberry, her watery blue eyes became moist with tears and Riddick felt his anger melting. Kids! And then the girl surprised him by whispering right back "You're mean! I knew all along you're not a real Santa! Rudolph is your best reindeer and he's got a red nose and if you give me two presents I won't tell mummy that you said a bad word to me!"
She sniffed.
Riddick lowered his voice even more. "Gimme the other reindeers' names and you get three."
A big happy smile crept over the sticky little face and then Riddick felt two small arms creeping right around his neck, a man shouted "WONDERFUL, HOLD THAT POSE, that one is going to make the front page" and flashlights started crackling all around him again.
He barely could hear the little voice whispering behind his fake beard, "'Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donder and Blitzen!' That's what you say to them when you fly all the way from the North Pole to bring children their gifts."
He straightened, looked at Toombs and snapped his fingers three times. Toombs looked ready to kill him but grabbed three red boxes from the back of the sled and handed them to him.
A moment later the girl was gone and a chubby little black boy had taken his place.
Riddick smiled. He thought he knew what he had to do now.
"Ho, ho, ho! What's your name, kid?"
"…Michael…"
"Are you a good boy, Michael?"
"…s…"
I'm gonna kill Toombs. He made me wear this fucking costume.
"And do you like… Rudolph?"
Before he could stop him, the boy was beaming up at him and started to singsong in a gravelly, surprisingly deep voice for his age:
"Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw him,
you would even say it glows…"
Oh yeah Toombs. I'm gonna ghost you slowly. Just get me the fuck out of here first.
Five Bills, three Johns, four Maries, two Susans, one William and some Chinese twins (Yi and Hong Lin) later Riddick was ready to tear off his beard and coat and take his chances with the crowd, mall security and local police forces.
Toombs, who had cheerfully taken over his role as elf got one look at Riddick's eyes when a little Barbara just walked up the podium and hastily intervened .
"Uh, sorry folks…we'll have a break here. Come back in fifteen time units."
The mother of the small girl gaped at him. "Time… units?"
Toombs frowned. "Can't take a hint, honey? Bugger off. Big nice Santa here is gonna take a break."
He grabbed a sign he had found in the sled and set it before Riddick's feet
"Beautiful memories, take a picture of Santa Clause with your children" was written on one side, "Santa Clause will be back in 30 minutes" on the other side that was now facing the crowd.
"Come on… Santa."
Riddick was so fast out of the sled that he nearly ripped his false beard off.
They pushed their way through the crowd toward the nearest mall exit and Riddick growled under his breath at Toombs "Prepare your fucking device. We're leaving here now. You've had enough time to reprogram it"
When he got no answer he shot a sideways glance at the fake Elf, whose pirate looks, side whiskers and unshaved face had already caused a couple of mall security guards to turn their heads after him.
Toombs looked straight ahead, little drops of perspiration forming on his temples.
Riddick stopped. A cold foreboding feeling shivered over his scalp. His deadly calm voice betrayed nothing of this.
"Toombs. Tell me."
The Merc stopped in his tracks, causing several patrons to bump into him and nearly drop their armfuls of shopping bags, and stared back at him like a deer caught in the headlights of a fast moving truck.
"There is a slight problem," Toombs tried to put it off, his eyes locking on the rounded posterior of a pretty brunette, whose short skirt ended a good hand over her knees. He sidestepped a shopping-bag-laden mother castigating her crying four-year-old.
"Tell. Me." said Riddick carefully.
"The nuclear energy bloc is empty."
Their eyes met for a moment
"I think I need a drink," said Riddick, pushed his red hat up and pinched the base of his nose between thumb and index.
(to be continued)
