Interview with a Princess

[Jes is walking through the forest admiring nature in all its glory]

Jes: Ahh the great outdoors! [Inhales deeply] Smell that air, so clean, so pure...Nope you don't get air like this in the city! [Sigh] Everything's so ... so natural! I just love it! Now I can focus on an idea for my next fan fic. Who wouldn't be inspired while surrounded by all of God's beautiful creations? Yup, breathtaking every one of them from the highest cloud to the lowly ant...

[Jes leans against a tree. A centipede falls out and lands on her shoulder.]

Jes: Ahhh! A bug! Get it off, get it off, get it off! [Runs around screaming like a lunatic, flailing her arms until she runs face first into a tree and fall down unconscious]

Peach: Are you ok?

[Jes starts to come too]

Jes: Huh? Wha?

Peach: I said are you ok?

Jes: Yea...yeah I'm fine [Gets up and realizes who she's talking to]

Jes: Oh my gosh! You're Princess Peach Toadstool! What are you doing here?

Peach: I live here! What's your excuse?

Jes: You live in a forest?

Peach: Look around you dolt does it like we're in a forest?

Jes: [looks around and sees a huge castle behind her] Man how long have I been out? I swear those mini malls go up faster every day!

Peach: That's my home!

Jes: You live in a mini mall?

Peach: [throws her hands up in disgust] I've had enough of this stupid conversation...[starts to leave]

Jes: Wait, wait, princess I have a question! [Peach stops]

Peach: What do you want? And make it quick!

Jes: Can I interview you?

Peach: Interview? I don't think so.

Jes: Oh Please, oh please, oh please.... [Continues the "Oh Please" bit for a half an hour till Peach gives in] (I'm real annoying like that :)

Peach: OK! But if I do this do you promise to leave?

Jes: Yeah

Peach: Ok what do you want to know?

Jes: [takes out a little notebook and pen] The world wants to know, who do you like better Mario or Luigi?

Peach: Neither

Jes: What?! You don't like either of them? Then who do you like?

Peach: [Blush] I can't

Jes: Aw come on you can tell me. Just between us girls. [And everyone reading this]

Peach: [Blush, blush] I like...I like...WALUIGI! There I said it!

Jes: [Mouthing "Waluigi?"] Waluigi? Why?

Peach: [Blush, blush, blush] He so handsome and mysterious, I didn't even know Wario had a brother until I met him at the tennis tournament a while back. But he doesn't know I like him. I'm too shy to tell him.

Jes: So you don't like Mario or Luigi?

Peach: No, not really...They're actually quite annoying.

Jes: How so?

Peach: Well for one thing they never come over to do anything but eat, or play tennis or ride on my personal go-kart track! I swear they think they live there! And when they use the bathroom they never put the seat down!! You know sometimes I think if I weren't a princess they wouldn't even be my friends! [Peach is fuming and breathing hard from her little outburst]

Jes: Wow, you seem to have a lot of pent up rage there...

Peach: Rage I have no rage. I'm Princess Peach Toadstool sweet kind and loving 24/7 365 days a year. Never a foul thought enters my mind. [Eye starts to twitch]

Peach: [Muttering] Always sweet, sweet like sugar and spice and everything nice...

Jes: ......Princess?

Peach: [Still muttering] Sweet little Peach can't do anything wrong...it's un-lady like they'll all say...

Jes........ Peach?

Peach: [Mutter "Fudger"] Lets see how lady like I'm when they find that bod--

Jes: [Puts a hand on Peach's shoulder to get her attention] Princess Peach...are you ok?

Peach: [Smiles sweetly] Yes of course, thank you for asking though.

Jes: o_O........... Moving on...So how do you feel about being one of the only two female playable characters in Super Smash Bros. Melee?

Peach: I am very proud to represent all the "Gamegirls" out there who love video games but are normally forced to play with a Male character. Being a girl yourself you must like to use me when playing SSBM right?

Jes: Weeeell actually...I like Kirby! Man has that creampuff got some moves and his taunt is soooooooo cute [Imitates Kirby's voice from SSBM] HIIIIIIIII!

Peach: But...But you're a girl you're supposed to want to use a female character!

Jes: What century are you living in? Girls can do whatever they want including playing video games with the male characters. After the Kirbster Mario's my main man.

Peach: [twitch comes back Jes looks fearful] So you don't use the female characters?

Jes:.... I'm kidding with ya, heh, heh I always use you to whip up on those evil male players, using you.

Peach: [Sweetly] Really? Oh how wonderful us girls gotta stick together!

Jes:...Yeeeeeeaaaaaaaah riiiiiiiiiiiiight, stick together [nervous chuckle] One more question and then I'll let'cha go

Peach: Ok shoot.

Jes: Do you have any aspirin? My head is killing me...

Peach: What?! Are you implying that I'm on drugs?

Jes: Wha...no I was just ask--

Peach: Of all the nerve! Are you saying I'm some kind of unstable freak that has to pop pills just to function without killing someone?!

Jes: No, I'm just sayin'.... [Thinking] did she just say kill someone? I'm outta here.

Peach: [Still ranting]...And I'm a princess and I deserve respect! GUARDS!

[Some guards come out of the castle and grab Jes by her arms]

Jes: What are you going to do to me?

Peach: [Addressing guards] Get rid off her!

Jes: WHAT?! No wait can't we talk about this?

[Guards drag Jes over to a nearby Warp pipe and toss her in]

Jes: Oooh, My head what happened

Jes's mom: Just stay still you took a really nasty fall and bumped you head. And it wouldn't have happened if you 'd have listened to your mother!

Jes: What could you have said that has any relevance to my situation?

Jes's mom: Maybe if you had listened to me you wouldn't have bumped your head and you'd remember what I said.

Jes: I'm to messed up to try and understand what that means right now I have an interview to upload.

End (Shoo away with ya show...err...fics over)

I got one more for you guys to suffer through Ha, ha, ha.... ~Jes :}

There were a lot of grammar errors I know; but I'm so Laaaaazzy...

Send me your Reviews or your Flames but to you flamers: I'm all outta cookies sorry :(