Are you ready to be amazed?
No?
Ah well. You will be anyway.
"Remy is the worst, most disgusting, most annoying-" Z started, but was broken off.
"-Most handsome, most helpful mentor there ever was?" Remy butt into Z and Tiana's conversation in the halls.
"Is it, like, a guilty pleasure of yours, invading my privacy?" Z glared at him.
"Oh, that's not invading your privacy." Remy assured nonchalantly. "This is." He was behind Z with his hands at her hips, whispering in her ear. Remy knew that if he gave her time to react, then she would most likely kill him. So he ducked away and prepared himself.
Z's cheeks lit up. "Back off, you freak!" She swatted at him.
"Hey, if I can't get you by standard tactics, then I have to work with what I've got." Remy shrugged. Tiana's glance flickered between the two as they bantered.
"If that's the kind of logic you use on the battlefield, then I'm asking for a new mentor!" Z raged, then grabbed hold of Tiana's wrist and dragged her along. "Come on, Tiana. We're out of here."
"I'm sorry, Miss Kelley-" Peterson started.
"No, you're not." Z objected.
"-But we choose your mentors for a reason." He continued as if there was no interruption. "Miss Andrada needed a patient, willing character like Mr. O'Neil. You, on the other hand, need somebody horribly ridiculous in charge of you to teach you subordinance."
Z crossed her arms and sunk into the seat. "But that's not fair!"
"It's only not fair when you're the one cheated." Peterson said. "I could go off for a long time about fair- don't think Graff didn't tell me about how you worked your way up the ranks in Battle School."
"Just for the record, I never actually slept with Tyler-" Z was cut off as Peterson raised a hand.
"Save it. I have important business to conduct." Peterson pulled some papers out of a drawer in his desk and started writing, not caring if Z was leaving. Finally, Z got bored of trying to catch his attention and stormed away.
"I feel like such a freshman here!" Tiana giggled, making a smiley face in ketchup on her ham sandwich.
"You eat ketchup with your ham and cheese?" Z wrinkled her nose. "Anyway, you know what? We're not even the youngest ones here. I keep seeing this little blond kid."
"Wreawy?" Tiana spoke with a mouth full of food.
"Yeah, some prodigy or whatever. I think it was that Wiggin kid that was at the top of all the rumors in Battle School." Z grumbled at the mention of him. Anyone better than her angered her, especially knowing that he was younger.
"What are you ladies talking about?" Alex took a seat next to Tiana.
"Aren't you supposed to be in a Commander's mess hall or something?" Z stared at him skeptically.
"Just thought I 'd drop by and see my favorite girl." Alex's arm slid around Tiana's waist and she beamed up at him.
"What is this?" Z looked at the couple in dismay. "It's Command School. There's nowhere to take her out."
"We're together now and we don't mind!" Tiana snuggled into Alex. "You know, he was just so nice to me, and we have so much in common…"
"Dominate the relationship, Tiana." Z instructed.
Alex laughed. "We're all equals here, Zannah."
"Alex, my man. What's going on?" Remy slid in beside Z. "Ladies." He acknowledged.
Z gave him a shove. "Out. You are not allowed."
Remy grinned back as usual. "Woah. You can look at this for free, but if you want to touch it you'll have to pay up."
Z wiped her hands on her uniform as if she'd just stuck her hands in a bucket of sludge. "You are disgusting."
"But in a way you know you like." He purred.
Z covered her face with her hands. "Never do that cat noise thing again if you know what's good for you…" she pleaded.
"Remy, don't go overboard." Alex advised, a concerned look on his face. "Maybe you should leave her alone for a while?"
"I can handle my own problems!" Z snapped. "Stay out of this. It's none of your business."
"My army is my business." Alex stated. "I can't have my soldiers fighting. Work it out somehow, or our army falls apart." When he needed to control Shark Army, he really stepped up to the plate. "Now, I'll leave you girls to figure something out. I trust you will." At that, he stood up, kissed the top of Tiana's head and motioned for Remy to come sit elsewhere. With a huff, Remy followed.
"What are you going to do?" Tiana asked, wide-eyed as a rabbit like usual.
"To shut him up, I just might have to give him what he wants." Z said defeatedly.
"Don't give up! You can't give up! You're Z!" Tiana jumped to her feet and turned Z to face her for a pep talk. "Who thought of and was brave enough to carry out Operation Make-Out-With-Other-Armies'-Soldiers-to-Get-Battle-Plans?"
"That other name you had for it is starting to look better." Z considered.
"Smooch-and-Mooch?"
"Yeah." Z recalled. "But that was me with the operation."
"Who single-handedly got the position of Toon Leader through bribery in the form of sexual pleasure?"
"That was me."
"And then proved in your position of leadership that you had great ideas and knew how to control people?"
"Mmm…I'm pretty sure that was me." Z was looking prouder.
"And after hard work as a Toon Leader, was even bumped up to Commander?"
"Me."
"We are in Command School now, sister!" Tiana took Z by the shoulders and shook her back and forth.
"Did you think of all that on the spot?" Z was amazed in her airhead friend.
"Nah, Alex and I wrote it together. He knew you'd need it." Tiana shrugged.
And as if the world wasn't already crashing to an end when Tiana remembered the entire speech, Z couldn't help but give Tiana a hug.
-takes a bow-
I hope none of you exploded.
