The Embrace of Weirdness
Summary: When Stan and Ford were sent to stay with their Grunkle Dipper they never thought they would end dealing with crazy wizards, zombies, lake monsters, and demons! And that's just the tip of the iceburg.
Notes:
1: I know there are others out there, but I started writing this a month ago and wanted to get it out. At can say that I'm the first to think of using Dipper instead of Mabel. (As far as I know.) I'll you figure out the rest of the story switches as the story goes on.
2: I KNOW ABOUT RELATIVITY FALLS! You all told me about it, I found on Tumblr (which still rejects me). It's right here for anyone curious:
I'm keeping the name though because there at least three other stories out there with that name. Thank you all for sharing, this will help when I hit the road blocks.
Special thanks to:
Extreme Light 9: Thank you!
Cesargarciadiaz99: LOL, I'll try. (Hopefully I won't disappoint.) Thank you so much!
WDW: I really wanted to start the story with a bang. (Course this means I've gotta think of something bigger to take the place of Scaryoke.) I've got other roles for Fiddleboy and don't worry; she will come.
Guest: Everyone makes Dipper the author, but I wanted him to fill the Grunkle role because I think it suits him. And having Mabel as the author allows me to create all dorts of original ideas that I don't think anyone's thought of.
Princess Dia: Thank you, your highness! (XD) And don't worry, he'll appear later. I'm really glad you like the twins as I have trouble writing the Stans as kids (ironic due to my other fic).
Bast13: Thank you! And I'll try. Hopefully, this chapter's a bit better.
Extra special thanks to Blind-Eyephone, who has been trying to help me with the wicked Tumblr. (TUMBLR!)
(Chapter 2: Where Curiosity Leads)
"Are you done yet, poindexter?" Ford glared down at his younger brother in annoyance.
"Do you want to come up here?" he called. Stan gulped as he looked up.
"Er, sorry! I'm still looking for switches down here." he said as he went back to over turning rocks.
A couple of days after finding the mysterious diary two had decided to go back to the spot where they had found the book in hopes of finding a clue to the mystery of the book and it's owner. Ford was convinced there was a secret passage somewhere around the metal tree. He climbed said tree and pulled all the branches, wondering if there was a hidden lever. Meanwhile, Stan diligently searched the ground looking for buttons as he refused to climb even a foot. They had started this in the morning and now it was nearing lunch time, so both were starting to get cranky.
Stan let out an irritated grumble. "Ford, there's nothing here! Let's just go back to the shack and call it a day." Ford sighed, agreeing.
"Okay." He pulled one more just for the sake of it. Nothing happened. Letting out a disappointed sigh, he started to clamber down. As he did so, Stan grabbed the monocle from the book. He played with it when suddenly he noticed something.
"Huh?" Stan walked over to the tree and through the monocle he saw writing on the tree.
'Tickle me!' it read. Stan frowned.
"Uh, what?"
"What's up?" Ford asked, sliding down the trunk.
"Check it out." Stan handed Ford the monocle and he had the same puzzled look his twin had.
"'Tickle me?'"
"Is it serious?"
"I guess..." Ford reached out and...tickled the tree, feeling very silly as he did so. He did this for a few minutes and suddenly the tree started to shake. Ford and Stan jumped back as a face face appeared on the tree. It started guffawing dropping nuts and squirrels, until it's mouth dropped open to reveal a doorway. Twins shared a look.
"That was... weird." Stan said. "But cool!" Ford perked brightly.
"We found the door way!" he said as he pulled out a pocket flashlight. "Who knows what we could find down there, Stan? It might be filled with lost prehistoric life forms! Or Mesoamerican gold!"
Stan held out his arm.
"Uh, ladies first!" he said. Ford gave him a light punch and Stan punched him back.
They then entered the tree's maw where they descended down some weird, strange, steps.
"Whoa, this place is creepy!" Ford mused.
"Don't worry, bro! Wherever we go, we go together." Stan told him. "Hey, let's leave our names so people know we've been here." Ford nodded and pulled out a marker. He wrote his name first, then gave Stan the pen to sign his.
The two continued down the stairs until they came to a brightly decorated room. The room was bright lavender and the decorations contrasted with the spiders and cobwebs that covered everything.
"You know, this girly stuff is starting to grow on me." Stan stated as he picked up a unicorn plush.
"Don't let dad hear you say that." Considering what their father was like, this came off as more of a warning than a joke. Ford looked all over the room and noticed all the supplies. "Hmm... it looks like an underground alchemy lab. It must have belonged to the author."
"This must be where she made her love potions and stuff," Stan said as he put his face in a barrel. When he pulled his face out he had black, fuzzy caterpillars all over his face. "Ha! I'm Captain Cata-beard!" he laughed. Ford searched the shelves. For the most part there was just wilted herbs and dead bugs.
"Huh? Hey, isn't this a Smez dispenser that dad tried to sell."
"Sweet! Does it still have candy?" Stan wiped the bugs from his face and ran over to his twin. There he took the dispenser and popped a candy. He coughed. "Ew, dusty!" Ford laughed.
"Ew! I can't believe you ate that!" he said. He looked down and noted something.
"Huh? Hey Stan, I think this can was opened recently."
"So you think someone is still down here?" Stan asked. "Maybe the chick who wrote the book? " Ford was excited by the idea.
"Maybe! It would be so cool to meet her!" he said.
"Unless she's the kind of witch who eats kids."
"That's a hag, Stan!"
"Same thing!"Stan leaned against a wall and slipped as the boy band poster behind him tore. There it revealed a hidden hatch.
"Whoa! You found something, Stan!" Together they opened the hatch and crawled into a tunnel.
When they reached the end they found themselves in a square room that reminded Stan of a rubix cube with all the colors and designs.
"I'm getting really sick of all this color." Ford commented.
"This place hurts my eyes." Stan muttered as he rubbed his eyes. He stepped forward and one of the squares started to sink into the ground. Stan's heart jumped, knowing this couldn't be good.
"Uh-oh." Just as he said this the hatch slammed, locking the boys in.
"Oh no!" Ford cried. The symbols all over started to glow a light pink as the room started to shake.
"Whoa! Wh-what's going on?! YIKES!" Stan fell back as a square shot in front of him. All the squares started pushing out and Ford noticed that the marks had become white hot. Ford and Stan had to find squares where there were no marks.
"Ford! What do we do?!" Ford frantically flipped through the book.
"Um! Um!" When he found nothing he remembered the monocle. He used it and through the rose colored lens he saw that four squares were different from the others. "Ah ha!"
"Ford! What—AHHH!" Stan was suddenly hit from behind and sent flying forward. Fortunately he didn't land on any symbols. Instead he landed on one of the protruding squares, his back sizzling. Ford's eyes widen in horror.
"STAN!" Acting fast, Ford ran to the four blocks and touched them using his body as if he was in a game of twister. Those marks were not hot. After he touched the last a doorway folded out. Ford ran to his brother and by a stroke of luck and determination the two made it out before all the blocks cemented together.
Even though they were safe, Ford's heart was still beating. "Stan!" he cried. "Stan!" The boy lied on the floor, whimpering as his skin still steamed. Ford looked at the mark and winced. The mark was glowing orange and red and pulsed against Stan's skin.
"St-Stan?" Ford voice cracked, his heart breaking at the sight of his brother in such pain. Stan couldn't respond. Instead he curled into a ball, as if this would somehow stop the pain. Ford reached out to touch him, but stopped, not wanting to hurt Stan. Ford had no idea what to do! His body shaking just as much as his brothers. He tried to clear his mind and focus, but all he could see was Stan crying on the floor.
They had to get out of here. Ford had to get Stan to a doctor, quickly. Biting his lip, he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out the pocket first aid kid. He kept it for all times Stan scraped himself because he couldn't see too well. It was pretty worthless though. All it had was bandages and instructions on CPR. Still, it was better then nothing. Stan mewled in pain as Ford used the bandages to cover the burn, hoping this would keep it from being infected.
"Sorry," he mumbled. When the mark was completely covered Stan finally forced himself up, angrily wiping his tears.
"Where are we?!" His voice came out in a snap, even though he didn't mean it to. Ford finally glanced around at their surroundings.
"I dunno. A surveillance room maybe?" Ford's curiosity rose again. Why would the author have all this stuff? For a witch she had a lot of technology here. Could witches use computers? Was all this even magic or advanced technology-
His curiosity was crushed by shame as Stan let out a hiss of pain as he stood. Ford quickly grabbed him, flushed by his shame. None of that mattered right now.
"I'm fine!" Stan yelled, pushing him away
"You are not!" Ford yelled back. "We've gotta get you to the hospital!"
"Are you crazy?! What're we supposed to tell them?!"
"I-I don't know! And I don't care!" Ford snapped. "If we don't get help, your burn will get infected and they'll have to cut off your back or-" 'You'll die.' Ford couldn't say this, but the thought parked in the front of his brain, unrelenting. He'll die. If they didn't get out of here, then Stanley will die. All because Ford wanted to find the author.
Stanley wasn't looking at him. He bit his lip and stared at the ground, fighting the tears that still stung his eyes. His back hurt really bad, but he didn't want to admit it.
"How're we s'pose to get out anyway?" he asked, trying to think of something else. They looked around. They couldn't go back the way they came, that was for sure. Stanford glanced around.
"There's another door over there," he said. "Let's check that out." He helped Stan stand and walked over to the door. He opened it, but it was too dark to see anything.
"Where are the lights?" Ford said to himself. He reached around and found a cord. He gave it a tug ans the boys screamed as water gushed down, followed by a blast of hot air that shoved them together. This worst for Stanley this aggravated the mark on his back. When this was done a smiley face was stamped on their cheeks and a red light flashed and a tone sounds. The door opened to reveal a wrecked underground round room with a bunch of tubes and alchemy symbols carved everywhere. On the floor was a giant symbol.
"Whoa, what's this?" Ford had no answer.
"It looks like a hidden lab." he said.
"I thought we were dealing with magic, not science." Stan said through gritted teeth as his back hurt.
"Maybe it's both." There was nothing Ford wanted to do more than to explore, but with Stan hurt the way he was he knew he had to find a way out. He couldn't help but feel annoyed at this. Here they were, at the center of what could be one of the greatest mysteries ever and he had to leave it because Stan couldn't be careful. And now Ford felt horrible for thinking that when his twin was so hurt that he could barely stand on his own.
"Hey, Ford? What do you think dug all these tunnels?" Ford peeked towards on of the holes.
"I dunno... mole men?" Before Ford could get excited, they suddenly heard a growling sound. Both the boys screamed as a shadow with a bug like head moved. Ford helped his brother back to the door, which they tried to force open, but failed.
"Dammit!" Ford kicked the door and looked behind them. The shadow was coming closer. He quickly grabbed his brother.
"C'mon!"
"Ow! Hey!" The mark made it difficult, but Stan managed to follow his twin into the tunnels. A glance behind saw the shadow of a spider. Gulping Stan ran faster.
The twins ran and ran, but soon found themselves cornered.
"What now?!" Stan cried and he and Ford clung together.
"I don't know!" The beast was coming closer. Was this it? Was this how they were going to die?
Suddenly the shadow of a woman appeared. She jumped atop the beast wrestled with it before ripping out it's tongue and smacking the beast with it.
"Back, back you heinous beast!" The beast fled and a few seconds later a woman walked into view. She had golden hair in braid and was dressed more like a princess than anything. This sight was in great contrast to what she had done moments ago, yet she still held the tongue as proof of her deed.
"Well, I just ripped out a monster's tongue." She dropped it down in front of the boys. They stared in amazed shock. Ford's jaw dropped.
"Whoa! A-Are you-?!" He didn't get to finish his question.
"We have to hurry! I scared it off, but it'll regenerate." She turned and started to run. The twins followed, Ford protectively holding Stan's hand.
The mysterious led them down the tunnel into one where water covered the floor.
"I wasn't expecting guests," the woman said conversationally. "I've been down here for a very long time. Years! Weeks, maybe! I miss orange juice."
"So you're really her?" Stanford said excitedly.
"Her?" Stanley whispered as he leaned in.
"Her!" Ford was so excited.
"Her?" the woman repeated. Ford released Stanley's hand and excitedly ran to the woman.
"I can't believe it! You're the author!" he exclaimed. "I've got like a gillion questions! Why did you write the journals? Who was after you? Why did you build this bunker?"
"What's with the rubix room?" Stan muttered bitterly. He touched his back and winced, but Ford was too busy with the author to notice. The author giggled as she patted Ford on the head.
"I'd I'd love to discuss this in time, young man," she said. "But I'm afraid we have more pressing matters at the moment." She turned and walked ahead a bit.
"You see, it's one of my experiments. A shape shifter that is able to take the form of anyone or anything it sees. It broke free from a cage of solid steel!" She lead the boys to the lab where she motioned to a broken cage. She sighed. "I've gone mad trying to catch the creature alone." She turned to the boys with a smile. "But you're here now! Please, won't you help me catch it?" She looked back at them and fluttered her long eyelashes. Ford blushed happily.
(*
The author lead them to another part of the passage.
"Do come in!" the woman said as she pushed aside a curtain of beads. Ford bounced after her excitedly, while Stan did so grumpily. He was mad that his brother seemed to have forgotten him in favor of the author. His back still hurt, but at least he could walk by himself. (Like he had much of a choice.)
"I apologize for the state of things," the woman continued. "I don't get many non mole-people visitors."
"So there really are mole people here?"
"Yes, yes. But that's not important. Now the beast must have some weakness we can exploit. Sigh! I just wish I had my research on me. But alas, I lost my dairies so many years ago." Ford dashed forward.
"We found one of them! That's how we tracked you down here." he said as he pulled the dairy from his journal. The woman let out a gasp.
"Can it be?" she took the journal from the child happily. "This is wonderful! I... I can't begin to express my gratitude!" she said as she flipped through it. "Oh yes, after all these years..." Ford ran excitedly over to Stan.
"Isn't this great?! We found the author! Can imagine all the great things we're gonna see?" Stan turned bitterly.
"Yeah. Great." He kicked a can and noticed something. "Huh?" he picked it up and when he saw the image he stiffened. "Uh, Ford?" He handed the can to his brother, eyes wide. Ford looked at it and gained the same expression Stan had.
On the can of Cheerios (the WORST spaghetti ever) was the image of 'Brave Beauty Braid.' She looked just like the author. All the pieces clicked into place. Laughing nervously, Ford stepped towards the 'woman.'
"Uhh, you know what? We-we should probably get going. Our Grunkle's probably worried about us now. Um, can I have the dairy back?" There was an eerie crack as the woman turned her head all the way around, like an owl.
"You're not going anywhere." It said in deeper and more dangerous voice. Suddenly she crawled up the wall like a spider where it's eyes turned white and sprouted spider legs. The boys screamed as they clung to each other.
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" The shape shifter laughed as it turned into what Stan later describe as demonic jello with a crab arm and spider legs.
"How do you like my true form?" it asked. "Go on, admit it, you like it!" Stan tried to be tough.
"Wha- What did you do to the real author?!" he demanded. "Did you eat her?" It scoffed.
"You'll likely never find out. That witch hasn't been around for thirty years!" it said. "But I thank you for bringing me her dairy. She used to write it while I was in my cage, trying to... 'domesticate' me." The creature looked through the journal greedily. "So many wonderful forms to take!" As it flipped through the pages it transformed into other creatures the boys had yet to see, laughing with each form. Ford and Stan took a step back, but Ford knew they couldn't leave without the diary!
"Stan! We have to get the book back!" Stan glanced around then grabbed a can of beans.
"Hey, ugly! Catch!" he threw the can, but the shifter dodged it. It then turned into a giant frog monster and lashed its tongue towards them. The boys dodged and by luck the tongue hit a piece of metal. When the beast pulled back it's tongue back, it pulled the piece with it. It slammed itself in the face, dropping the book. Ford snatched it up and ran back to his twin.
"RUN! RUN! RUN!"
"As if you need to tell me!" Stan yelled as he followed.
They ran, but the shifter followed after transforming into a giant rolly polly monster. It tumbled after them and the boys ran faster. When they came to a fork in the tunnels, Ford through his light down one tunnel and ducked into the other with his brother. Both held their breaths as the shifter stopped at the fork. They released it when the beast chased the light. They then started running down the tunnel as fast as their legs could carry them. They finally stopped to rest when they found the lab.
The two boys panted heavily against each other.
"We have to get out of here." Stan panted.
"What about the shape shifter?" Ford asked. "Stan, imagine if he escapes into the town! He can transform into anything! Who knows what it could do?!"
"What about us?!" Stan snapped. "You saw that thing! How are we supposed to stop it?" Ford was already looking for an answer. He flipped desperately through the book until he found the entry on the shifter.
"Here! If we can freeze it, then it can't hurt anyone." Stan moaned and not just because his back hurt.
"And how are we supposed to do that?!" Ford smirked.
"Remember that room were saw earlier?"
(*
The shifter wandered down the halls. It turned into the form of Beauty Braid.
"Ford, do come out!" it Momentarily lost its form. "I must speak with you!" Suddenly it turned into a creature with six legs, claws, and a one-eyed head resembling a hand. It let out a mighty roar. "REVEAL YOURSELF, YOU SINGLE-FORMED HUMAN WEAKLING!" It slammed its head into the ground, making the room shake.
Suddenly it heard voices.
"Oh boy, Ford. That book sure is full of some great monsters!" Stan said loudly. The shifter turned.
"Ah. There you are!" It switched between Stan and Ford (not that this was very impressive). "Should I be one...or the other? How about both!?" The beast turned into a six-legged creature, the top half resembling Ford while the bottom half resembled Stan. Both halves had a large mouth with many sharp teeth (This was more impressive). It let out and roar and the twins ran, the shape shifter chasing after them. They ran into the round with a room with the tubes and alchemy symbols. On the floor the giant symbol gleamed, which was good as it was apart of Ford's plan.
"NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW!" Stan yelled as they pressed against the side. Ford started chanting, but before he could finish the shape shifter ran into the room. There it used it's tongue to try and grab the dairy from Ford.
"HEY, LET GO!" Ford refused to release the book and as a result was dragged along the floor. Stan grabbed the book as well.
"You leave him alone!" he yelled. Ford tripped and Stan was yanked forward with the book. Desperate, Ford grabbed a bottle from the table and threw it. The bottle exploded upon collision and both the shifter and Stan were blinded by the pink smoke that appeared and threw them back. The diary flew into the air and landed near Ford who strained to see through the smoke.
"Stan?! Stanley?!" he yelled as he scooped the book up. Suddenly he went cold as the smoke started to clear and revealed-
"STAN!" Ford ran to Stan's side as he laid on the ground. "St-Stan...no..." Tears stung Ford's eyes. No. This couldn't be happening. THIS COULDN'T BE HAPPENING!
"Uh, Ford?" Ford looked behind him.
"H-huh?!"Stan! It was Stan! He was watching him with a befuddled look. "St-Stan?! Then who's...?" Ford was cut off as the Shape Shifter tackled him, taking his form.
"Give me back that journal!"
"Never!" The two started rolling on the ground, confusing poor Stan. He looked around for something that could help him. His foot nudged against the eyeglass. He picked it up and looked through it. As he did he was able to see the shifter. Taking a breath he ran forward and socked the imposter with his fist.
The shape shifter fell back with an angry grunt.
"Ford! Read the spell! NOW!" Ford was already reading the spell.
The Shape Shifter roared angrily and returns to its true form as the spell took hold.
"No!" It tried to escape the spell circle, turning into a rock monster, then a flame monster, then the woman from earlier. No matter what he took however, the circle held him. The spell started to climb it's body. "NO!" Stan and Ford took a step back.
"Let's... lets get out of here." Ford said slowly. Suddenly the Shape Shifter laughed evilly.
"You think you're so clever don't you, boys? But you have no idea what you're up against," it warned. "You will never find The Author. If you keep digging, you'll meet a fate worse than you can imagine. And this will be the last form you ever take!" Suddenly the beast turned into one of the twins and screamed loudly. The boys watched in horror as the spell took hold and froze the beast solid.
There was a long, long silence.
"Well. I'm never sleeping again." Stan finally said. He noticed Ford's face and playfully shoved him. "Hey, don't look like that! We did it!" Ford smiled.
"Y-yeah. Yeah! We did!" Stan held up his hand.
"High six!" The two slapped hands and chanted.
"Pines! Pines! Pines!"
(*
"I still think we should get to the hospital, Stan." Ford said later that night. After defeating the demon the two returned to the shack. They managed to sneak past their grunkle and make their way to the attic where Ford was treating Stan to the best of his abilities. Stan rolled his eyes.
"It's fine! It's just like really bad sun burn." The heck it was. His back hurt and stung as if he had been set on fire. Every time his skin stretched it felt as if someone was digging a nail into him.
Still, if they went to a hospital then Dipper would find out about the diary and send them back to Jersey on a bus.
"Hey, don't look like that! All adventurers get hurt on their adventures. Just look at Indiana Jones," Stan continued. "Think of this as as our first step into being great discovers." Ford smiled at his brother's optimism. Then he fell back onto his bed.
"It's too bad you got it for nothing; we didn't find anything." he said. Stan fell next to him, on his stomach.
"Yeah. But maybe that's a good thing? I mean I've heard stories about witches and if the author created that thing we saw... I dunno, maybe we don't want to run into here." he muttered. "Anyway...I think I'm kind of adventured out for a little while." Ford thought to the last form the shape shifter took and agreed.
"Yeah. Maybe your right." feeling that it was his turn to be optimistic he added, "but at least we stopped the monster."
"Yeah! We're heroes!" They high sixed each other.
"C'mon, let's go eat supper. I'm starving!" Stan slipped on and extra shirt to hide his wound. "Race ya!" The boys laughed, then raced downstairs not knowing what lied ahead that summer.
(End of Chapter)
Well, Stanley still gets marked even in this universe, but at least this time it isn't Ford's fault. Anyway, please point out any errors story, grammar, or character wise and I'll fix it.
