"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage". - Lao Tzu.
. . .
"You know, she's probably fine."
"How can you be so calm about this?!"
"How can you be so out of control and emotional about it?"
Oliver turned and stared Diggle down. "It's Felicity!" he snapped angrily before he really realized what he was saying and what he was basically admitting to. He ran his fingers along his scalp through his short hair.
Lance had been the one to alert the Arrow of her disappearance. The police had been called out. They'd found Felicity's phone and glasses out in front of her place. That was it. None of her neighbors had seen or heard anything helpful or at least they weren't telling. On top of that, there was no surveillance in the area. So, they basically had nothing.
"It's been WEEKS!"
"I know," Diggle said with a sigh and walked towards him. "Look, one of us has to be calm… And as much as I hate that we have nothing to follow up on, I know…we know…Felicity. She's our girl and she's strong… She's going to find a way to contact us. We just have to have faith."
"I had faith once…" he whispered. He thought about the island and how he'd thought that he wouldn't be gone from home for too long. He had had faith that he'd get home to Laurel… That wasn't how it had all gone. He was a better person because of it and in all honesty now, knowing how his life would turn out…even with all the lies and loss…he would happily still choose that same path. If he hadn't been on Lian Yu and spent five years away from home, he wouldn't have become the Arrow and wouldn't have ever met Felicity.
He didn't realize how much she'd affected his life until she wasn't there.
Slade had threatened her life…and he'd known that he'd get there in time, that Slade wouldn't hurt her… But this was Felicity. She was the woman that he'd been striving not to get close to, but she'd snuck into his heart and completely taken over just the same. He understood what Diggle was saying, but he didn't know how not to be emotional… If he didn't know and hadn't had ARGUS triple check on Slade, he would have sworn that this was Slade fulfilling his promise…
What was worse than not knowing?
Then assuming the worse?
"I love her," he confessed quietly and felt like he was going to break down. Besides Felicity, he knew that he could be himself in front of Diggle. The two of them just normally didn't go into talking about their feelings…
"I know," Diggle spoke up.
"She thinks I don't."
"She knows," Diggle emphasized both words.
"No, she doesn't," Oliver argued and was so angry with himself. "On Lian Yu… You gave us a moment… She kept saying that she knew that I didn't mean it…that she almost believed it…and I never corrected her…"
"Did you deny it?"
"I told her that we both sold it."
"You did," Diggle told him with confidence. "Because what you two have is real… It's just taken you two a lot longer to realize it…and in all honesty, she's too good for you."
Oliver automatically smiled in response and shook his head. "I know."
"And you're still working through stuff…and distractions… Do you want me to name them?"
"No," he said quickly as his smile disappeared. He looked towards where they'd set up the computers and he missed her even more as he stared where she should have been. "But I know…" Oliver actually wouldn't be surprised if Laurel was the first thing that Diggle said. He was right, though. On both accounts.
"We just have to try to find her…" Diggle said. "Maybe the Arrow should touch base with Lance."
"The police don't know anything new."
"You haven't talked to him in a week."
"He would have called—"
"Oliver, just do it."
Oliver sighed and nodded. "Okay, I'll reach out…" He didn't think that it would actually do any good, but he'd do it even if it were just to appease Diggle. He had to occupy his time someway. Roy wouldn't be coming in, so he wouldn't have to try to force himself to focus on his training…
. . .
"I've even tried reaching out to Sara. You haven't heard from her lately, have you? I mean, she and Nyssa…they're all in that League of Assassins…they have to have resources, right? I mean, they normally seem to be about killing people because they're bad people. I just have to hope that it's always BAD people," Lance went on. Oliver could tell that he seemed to try to be convincing himself. "But they have to have their ear to the ground in other markets, right?"
"I haven't heard from her," Oliver responded as the Arrow as they spoke on a rooftop.
"I check the hospitals everyday… Her picture is everywhere…"
"Thank you."
"We're going to find her."
"How are YOU feeling, Detective?" Oliver asked. He suddenly realized that he hadn't even asked. Without Sara around, he didn't really check in with her to see how the Lances were doing. He really hadn't had the time to talk to Laurel and in all honesty, he was doing his best to avoid her. It helped that she didn't know the location of the new Foundry.
"I'm fine," he brushed off. "Really… Laurel's always fussing over me. It's almost suffocating… She's been trying to get me to change my diet like I suffered from a heart attack… What kind of cruel punishment is that?"
Oliver smirked. "I'm sure it's because she cares about you."
"She does."
"I'll try to get in contact with Sara, if nothing else…to make sure she speaks with you."
"I appreciate that," Quentin replied. "And keep me in the loop… Felicity may not be my daughter, but I feel responsible for her like she's my own…"
Oliver nodded. Quentin Lance and Felicity had always had an odd relationship, but there was a connection there. Maybe it was because Felicity wasn't just his light…she was a light for everyone when they needed it. He remembered when Lance had briefly detained her…and then he'd let her go… He'd been the Hood then… She'd seen the good in him and though Lance was against him at the time, he'd quickly changed his point of view. Oliver had a feeling that that was all due to Felicity's influence over him.
"Thank you, Detective."
"Sure."
"No, I mean it… I wouldn't have known as soon about Felicity if you hadn't reached out," Oliver told him. He felt guilty about that even though he knew it really wasn't logical.
"She's lucky to have you as a friend."
"And you."
Quentin smirked at him. "I'm just a cop doing his job…you're the hero."
"You're wrong about that," Oliver told him as he stared off at the city. He swallowed the lump in his throat. "She's the real hero…" he whispered.
. . .
"You're losing it."
"I'm glad I wasn't the one who had to say it," Roy admitted.
Oliver turned towards both of them, full of anger. He really didn't think that he'd been THAT bad. He'd been searching everywhere for ANY lead. There were no leads to be found.
"I'm going…I'm going to go," Roy said quickly as he motioned towards the stairs. "Call me if it's safe to come back tomorrow," he shot to Diggle before hightailing it out of there.
"What's—"
His question was cut off by the sound of his own phone ringing. Diggle held it up. "You know, Roy went in here the other day and changed all the names and pictures of your phone and you never even noticed."
Oliver frowned and took the phone. There was a picture of a canary on it and instead of it reading as 'Sara Lance' it read 'Hot Canary'. He was not amused, though Diggle seemed overly entertained by it. "Hi."
"Hi."
The sound of her voice caught him by surprise. She wasn't cheery, she was quiet. She seemed calm, but almost a little sad. He wondered if she wanted to come home, if that was why she was calling. Even though Sara had made it clear to him that they couldn't have a relationship, he still cared deeply for her. He always would.
"Your dad was asking about you. Had hoped that I had heard from you. I told him that if I heard from you that I'd have you call him." Oliver knew that Detective Lance would probably feel even better with a call from Sara. He knew that he'd been so happy to have her come home, to let her return back with Nyssa to the League of Assassins and so far away had to be hard for him… Even knowing that Sara was alive and okay and even happy…
"Thanks," Sara responded and then paused for a long moment. "I will. " She paused once again, her voice still quiet when she spoke next. "He looks better, right? You're watching out for him?"
"Laurel's apparently trying to put him on some kind of a diet… He looked fine though. He's back to work. I'm sure that helps." He knew that he probably didn't sound chatty, but he wasn't. Nothing really mattered in his world right now.
"I'm sure."
"Not that I'm not glad to hear from you Sara, but—"
"I'm calling because I have information about Felicity," Sara finally told him.
There was silence on both sides of the call.
"What about Felicity?" Oliver finally asked after he felt like he could control his tone. He didn't want to get overly emotional or come off as overly hostile; he knew that that would just be a downward spiral.
"I can't tell you over the phone," Sara insisted. "We need to meet. Face to face."
"Sara—"
"I'm going to text you the coordinates along with a meeting day and time."
"Sara—"
"Ollie, just come."
He was thinking of about a million excuses why he couldn't come unless he told her exactly why he was going and what it had to do with Felicity. He realized that right now, it really didn't matter. It might be a lead. He didn't have any of those. "Fine."
"I'll see you soon."
A minute after he hung up, a text came through as Sara had promised. There was a set of coordinates along with a date in a week and a half with a time.
"Oliver?" Diggle spoke up.
"It was Sara—"
"I gathered that."
"What did she want?"
"She claims to have information on Felicity," Oliver said as he turned to look over at him. Diggle seemed surprised, Oliver was surprised.
She wanted him to go to China. He already knew that from the coordinates. All he knew was that it had to do with Felicity. She had information, but she had to give it to him face to face. He'd tried to press her for more, but Sara had been very tight lipped about it.
Was the information really so sensitive?
Was it bad news?
Did she feel like she needed to protect him because it was Felicity?
Sara wasn't blind after all; she'd known that he was trying to keep those feelings to himself to keep Felicity safe. Even though his past with Sara was certainly interesting, she hadn't held things against him. He appreciated that more than she probably knew.
Even if Sara had doubts about what kind of person she was, Oliver knew…like Felicity knew whom he was deep down. Oliver knew that he could trust Sara, no matter what. If she was in trouble, and that thought had crossed his mind, then he didn't care…if it was a trap…he'd help in any way he could like he knew she would do for him.
"Where are you going?" Diggle questioned as Oliver walked past him.
"China."
"China?"
"And it's going to take a hell of a lot longer than it used to," Oliver told him as he packed.
Things were so different.
Queen Consolidated wasn't his family's anymore. Felicity had insisted that they were going to find a way to get it back though. That was before she'd been taken. Before Felicity Smoak had just disappeared. A year ago, he would have just taken a Queen Consolidated jet to China on 'business'. It wasn't that easy anymore, but Oliver could manage.
"How?" Diggle questioned.
"Boat. Freighter. By foot. However I can," Oliver responded. "I'll figure it out."
"You mean WE will figure it out."
"No," Oliver said as he stopped shoving things into the backpack. He turned to Diggle, he knew that he cared about Felicity. They'd all been through so much together, they were a family. But this…he had to do this on his own. He couldn't risk Diggle, not now. "Just me."
"Oliver—"
"You need to be here for Lyla and your baby," he said all too calmly. "I don't know what's in China. Why we have to meet face to face…"
"It could be a trap—"
"And I KNOW that."
"Oliver, if this is REALLY about Felicity, then I WANT to be there… I want to help—"
"If it IS a trap, I can't have you in prison…or worse—"
"I can take care of myself."
"You're going to be a Dad, John. One hell of a dad…and I just can't risk it." Oliver was quiet for a moment. "If I get into trouble, I'll call you. I promise."
"I don't like this."
"You know how to track me."
"I still don't like this," Diggle told him firmly.
"Neither do I," he replied in all honesty. "But let's face it. I'm horrible to be around right now," he said as he turned to fully face Diggle. "Even if this is the smallest of leads, it's still a lead…and we all want Felicity home… I have to hope that it's something that's going to lead us to her."
. . .
The trip to China was actually quite calming for Oliver. He didn't know if it was the change in scenery or if it just felt like he was moving forward with things. Whatever it was, he felt better about everything because of it.
He happened to be in China a couple of days before the meeting and had taken the time to just recon the area in which he was supposed to meet Sara. It also gave him a chance to check in with the special markets in that area. China was no different than anywhere around the world, there were always black markets…and there were always shady and unthinkable things that went on right under the noses of the public around.
Drugs.
Gangs.
Prohibited items.
Human organs.
Sex rings.
And so much more…
No one wanted to think that it happened where they lived, but it did. You just had to know where to look. Oliver knew where to look. He'd even brought a picture of Felicity to show around at places that he felt could have information. No one there had any useful information for him though. Though, he was referred to a couple of places that dealt in human trafficking. Oliver hated to think that Felicity had been through that and that then she'd been sold to who knew what…and what they could possibly be doing to her right now…
It terrified him.
Felicity was innocent in some ways, but definitely sweet and adorable…intelligent, smart, determined…and so beautiful… He didn't want to think of what horrors could befall her if that was what Sara told him when they finally spoke.
Not her.
Not his Felicity.
. . .
"Why did I need to come all the way out here?"
Sara was silent at first as they stood in a dark alleyway. "I didn't think that you'd believe me, if you didn't see for yourself," she said finally. Her tone was calm, even, and quiet. "I need you to come with me to Nanda Parbat."
"Is this a trap?"
"No," she responded quickly and then seemed confused and almost hurt by his question. "Why would it be a trap?"
"Why did I need to come to China?" he countered.
"Because you wouldn't believe me if I told you that Felicity's alive…here…well, Nanda Parbat…if you couldn't see her for yourself," Sara said and then pulled out her cell phone and turned it towards Oliver as a video played. It was Felicity and Nyssa and they were eating and talking. They looked happy and Felicity looked very much alive.
"Why didn't you bring her with you?" he asked after a long pause. Oliver felt like the world was spinning. Felicity was alive…she was okay…she was safe… He hadn't expected to come to China and take Felicity home with him.
Sara sighed. "In all honesty, Ollie, I didn't know if you would show up." She paused. "I haven't even told Felicity that I called you. I didn't think that it would be good to get her hopes up…in case you didn't show."
"You left her with the League—"
"I left her with Nyssa."
Oliver really wasn't sure how to take that or how to feel. Felicity was alive and he was thankful and relieved and so…overwhelmed with emotions at the moment. The League of Assassins and Nyssa al Ghul, he still wasn't sure how to feel about them. They'd helped him and Starling City when Slade Wilson had threatened to destroy everything…but he didn't like the fact that Sara had to go back to the League because of it. He didn't like that. He felt responsible and felt that if Nyssa REALLY loved Sara then she wouldn't hold her like a prisoner.
"How long has she been here?"
"Weeks," Sara explained. "There's not exactly cell reception up there… I had to wait…for several reasons…"
He wanted to ask about the reasons, but he stopped himself. Right now, that didn't matter. Seeing Felicity and taking her home, that was all that mattered. "I should call Diggle—"
"How's he doing?" Sara asked curiously.
"He wasn't happy that I came alone," Oliver responded. "He wanted to come, but he's going to be a father. That's more important."
"Right," Sara said quickly and then bowed her head for a moment. "And you thought this might be a trap."
"Diggle thought it could be."
"I wouldn't betray you like that, Ollie."
"We were more on the wavelength that you might need our help rather than betraying us," Oliver tried to explain. He pulled out his phone and brought up Diggle's information. He needed to call him before he got out of range of cell towers so that Diggle didn't get worried and show up looking for him.
"The League wouldn't hurt me," she told him.
"How can you be so sure?"
"Nyssa."
They were both quiet for a long moment. Taking the time to really mull over what Sara had said. It came down to that Oliver just didn't feel like he could trust Nyssa or the League of Assassins. He didn't know if he could ever FULLY trust them.
He finally dialed the number and put the phone up to his ear. He had to talk to Diggle. Oliver was certain that Diggle would breathe a little easier to know that he'd not only made it to China alright, but that Felicity would be coming home with him as well. To know that Felicity was safe.
"Hey Man, things okay?"
"Things are great," Oliver said and realized that he sounded cheery. He normally wasn't cheery unless he was around Felicity. The thought of her though, it was affecting him…
"What did Sara say?"
"Sara and Nyssa have Felicity. She's safe. I'm going to be out of cell reception though. Where they have her isn't in the city. I just didn't want you to get on a boat to come rescue me," Oliver explained.
"You're sure?"
"I'm sure. I'll call you back before we leave China."
"Are you coming back the same way you went?" Diggle asked.
"I don't know yet."
"That might be better than the adventure to get to Lian Yu," Diggle commented.
Oliver was never going to forget how Felicity had to jump out of an airplane with Diggle in order to retrieve him from Lian Yu and bring him back to Starling City after Tommy died. "Maybe… I'll have to see if she's up for it."
"If not, I'll figure out a way to get you two home."
"Okay."
"Talk to you soon."
"Talk to you soon," Oliver echoed before ending the call. He stowed the phone into his pocket and then looked up at Sara. "I'm ready."
"It's a bit of a ways…"
"I'm used to it," he told her as he followed her down the alleyway.
Felicity was all he could think of.
. . .
TBC…
