Pain.

Slade.

Pain.

Felicity.

Pain.

Felicity…

Pain.

Felicity!

"Hey, hey…you're okay… You're okay…"

Oliver felt hands on his shoulders, pushing him back. He groaned and then slowly tried to open his eyes. They didn't want to open. They were heavy like bricks. Oliver pressed though. He needed to know what was going on. "Digg—" he choked out.

"You're in the hospital. I've been here with you the whole time."

He reached out to try to grab a hold of Diggle. He needed some sense of this being real. What if this was just a big nightmare? He finally managed to get just a sliver of one of his eyes open. His vision was blurry and it was hard to keep his eye open even that much.

"Calm down. Calm down."

"Fe-li-ci-ty," he managed to get out slowly.

He heard Diggle sigh. "She was devastated when you told her to go home…and then I made Lance take her. She's worried about you."

"Slade," he whispered slowly and let his eye shut again.

He remembered now.

"She…safe…"

"She's safe," Diggle confirmed.

"Good."

He remembered her crying over him and he could only imagine what she was going through at home. It had to be done though. He shouldn't have gotten so close to her in the first place. He was wrong. They couldn't protect her. He was selfish for keeping her this long and for letting himself get so close to her. It was wrong. It put her in danger. It could have gotten her killed.

"Oliver, I know that this is hard…but you have to tell me what happened…" Diggle said. "And you need to tell me that I can text Felicity to come down here… She doesn't understand. I don't understand."

"No."

"Oliver—"

"No."

"Why?"

"No."

"That's not an answer."

"No," he repeated.

He couldn't tell Diggle. If he did, he knew that Diggle would try to talk him out of what he was doing. It was going to be hard, but he had to stick to this plan. Oliver would have died in order to protect Felicity, to protect both of them, but Slade wouldn't allow that.

Slade wanted Oliver to live with the pain…like he did every day. Slade lived with the loss of Shado… That was Oliver's fault and he knew that he had to pay for it. He had just never thought that it would ever come to this. It was almost too much for him to bear.

. . .

"I never thought I'd say this, but I think I might hate you."

"You don't understand."

"So make me."

He couldn't.

No matter how much Oliver wanted, he couldn't make Diggle understand without hurting Felicity. Really, either way he was going to hurt her. He just felt like he was doing what was right.

"If you can't do it—"

"It's better coming from me," Diggle told him. "I just don't think you should be making sure a huge decision after everything you've been through. You're in the hospital… Give it a couple of days… A week… Two weeks… You could have a concussion—"

"I'm thinking clearly!"

"That's debatable."

"Either do it or don't."

Oliver was actually surprised that Diggle had agreed to what he was instructing him to do. It was a lot to ask. The three of them were close and he knew it would be hard on Diggle and that it was going to crush Felicity. He didn't want to do it. He had to. None of them would understand.

"Don't tempt me to ask them to put you under a psych hold."

"Go for it."

For a long time they just stared at each other.

"What the hell happened to you in that warehouse with Slade? Whatever happened, it changed you…and I don't mean the injuries that you sustained."

Oliver sucked in breath. He knew that no matter what, Diggle would push this. He'd want answers. He wanted to understand. Oliver didn't blame him, but this time… This time Diggle just needed to trust him. He needed to be okay with no understanding.

"I told you before that we could protect her," Oliver told him. "I was wrong…"

"Oliver—"

"She's not happy, Diggle… Felicity went to MIT. She's far too smart for what she's doing…" Oliver said trying to make it sound like he was doing her a huge favor. He knew that no one was going to actually see it that way. "Plus, you saw her with Barry… I'm doing what's best for her."

"Shouldn't that be for Felicity to decide?"

"Sometimes we need to be pushed."

"Felicity doesn't like to be pushed, especially not by you."

"I don't care," Oliver said. "I want the arrangements made… I want her to be pushed in this direction… She'll be safe… She'll be happy."

"I don't think she's going to be as happy as you think."

"She will be…"

He had to believe that. It was the only way that he could continue with the plans he was pushing Diggle to put into place. Oliver didn't know if being in the hospital made it easier or not. On one hand he would rather be the one calling in favors and making arrangements, but right now he needed to rely on Diggle to do it.

"It might just take some time," Oliver whispered.

. . .

TBC…