Calvin's mother wasn't by any means an unpleasant woman. She had lots of friends, she had a book club, and she was happily married with a child. The problem was that sometimes the child was loud, obnoxious and full of his own ideas. She had given up a long time ago trying to get to the root of whatever the problem was. Calvin was clearly intelligent in his own right, even if he did lack in common sense. A part of her was quietly hoping that he was going to grow out of it one day. She wasn't holding her breath, but the kid couldn't be six forever, right?

At the moment, this tall thin woman was trying to prepare dinner. She wasn't by any means a bad cook, either. She was just creative. She could make tortellini, stuffed peppers, hamburger casserole and eggplant casserole. For some weird reason, however, everything she made looked like green mush, and for reasons that she thought was weird, Calvin didn't find green mush to be very appetizing.

As she was going through her cookbooks and getting everything ready, she heard the backdoor open, and she saw her son stagger in from the cold wearing his jacket and hat, and his stuffed tiger was draped over his shoulder, wearing one of her husband's scarves, which she secretly found adorable, but never bothered to say anything because carrying a stuffed tiger around everywhere was one of those things she hoped he would grow out of.

"There you are," she said in that tone that only mothers seemed able to accurately express. "No walking across the kitchen floor in those wet boots."

Calvin grumbled as he proceeded to pull off the boots and set them next to the door. He started taking off his jacket, mittens and hat as well.

"Ah, ah, ah, ah!" she chided him. "Put those in the closet. I'm not looking for extra work around here."

Calvin felt frustration building up inside of him. As a child, he was still – what you might say – learning the ropes of what was acceptable and what was not in everyday society. Unfortunately for him, his parents seemed absolutely determined to make him into the perfect little gentleman, and he was really starting to resent them for that.

"Mom, guess what happened when Hobbes and I were out today!" he said as he gathered his things in his arms.

"Calvin, unless this is going to involve the police, I don't want to know about it."

"But there was this guy in the woods with a huge tunnel, and he was chasing us, but we jumped a cliff, and we – "

"Later, Calvin – I'm fixing dinner," she interrupted, focusing on the cookbook.

"But Mom!"

"Calvin, go bother your father, all right? I'm busy."

Calvin growled to himself and stalked off into the next room.

He found his father sitting in his chair, drinking hot tea and reading the paper.

"Dad! Dad! Guess what happened to Hobbes and me today!"

"I'm busy, Calvin," his father replied, not even looking up from his paper.

"No, you're not! You're just sitting there!"

"I'm reading the paper."

"That's not 'busy'. That's 'reading'."

"I'm busy reading."

"But Dad, Hobbes and I were attacked by this guy in the woods!"

"Calvin, don't say things like that. You'll only worry your mother."

"This guy was chasing us with this weird snow machine! We went into this weird tunnel in the woods, and we found this huge door and – "

"Calvin, enough," Dad groaned, rubbing his eyes behind his glasses tiredly. "I had a hard enough day at work. The last thing I need right now is to listen to some story you made up."

"But Dad!"

"Calvin, I'm already angry enough at you for not shoveling the walk this morning."

Calvin blinked in surprise. "But you never told me to shovel the walk."

"Since when do I have to tell you to shovel the walk?"

"Every time!"

"Tomorrow, you're shoveling that walk."

"Fine. Whatever."

Calvin sat down in front of the fireplace, watching the fire blaze. Hobbes curled up next to him, thinking to himself it was quite symbolic.

"Dear!" Mom called from the kitchen. "I need some help in here!"

Dad sighed to himself as he folded up the paper and stood up to leave.

"You put your precious paper down for Mom!" Calvin yelled.

"You'll understand when you're an adult," Dad replied, and he headed into the kitchen.

"Your parents are remarkably uninterested in what happens to us," Hobbes remarked sleepily.

"It depends," Calvin sighed. "Remember last year when we set the rug on fire?"

"So what should we do about the guy?"

Calvin shrugged. "There's not a lot we can do. The guy fell into the chasm. I'd say he's been dealt with."

"I suppose so… Let's not go in that direction ever again, okay?"

"Fair enough. I wonder how much roadblocks cost."

At that moment, they heard someone knocking at the door. They both sat up in surprise.

"Calvin, will you get that?" Mom's voice rang out from the kitchen.

The two friends stared at each other.

"What if it's him?" Hobbes asked.

"Don't panic," Calvin said quietly. "Maybe we can take him by surprise. Be ready to attack if necessary."

"Roger."

They cautiously walked up to the door. Calvin put his hand to the doorknob and gripped it.

Hobbes got into his usual pouncing position that he usually reserved for when Calvin was coming home from school. His tail flicked back and forth, and he narrowed his eyes as his body treaded on his toes.

Confident that they were ready, Calvin turned the doorknob and pulled the door open.

They were stunned by who was standing on their front step.

It was Galaxoid and Nebular standing there, wearing two Christmas stockings that had the names "Calvin" and "Hobbes" written in cursive writing around their tentacles.

The two friends stared in bewilderment.

"What the heck are you two doing here?!" Calvin demanded.

"We are soaking wet!" Galaxoid complained.

"Oh, good grief! You didn't realize that snow is cold?"

"No, we didn't realize that these new coats you gave us are not waterproof!"

Calvin groaned. "Oh, for crying out loud! Get in here! We'll take care of it."

The two aliens slithered inside, past Hobbes and into the living room where they saw the fire.

"Ahhh," Galaxoid said. "Nice and warm in here."

"Here," Calvin sighed. "Take the stockings off. We'll dry them over the fire."

Hobbes took the two stockings and pull them off of the two aliens, and he hung them over the fireplace where they had been before, letting the warmth dry them.

"Thank you, Earth Leader," Galaxoid sighed as they sat themselves down in front of the fire.

"This planet is constantly full of surprises," Nebular sighed.

"Why are you guys even still here?" Hobbes asked. "Can't you just go back to your own planet?"

"We are here to learn as much about the planet as possible," Galaxoid replied.

"You guys never really explained to us just what your mission statement was," Calvin pointed out. "You said Earth was prime real estate, but other than that, you didn't really clarify your cause. Why Earth? Aren't there other planets that are prime real estate?"

"Plenty," Nebular replied. "Earth was just next on the list."

"How do you mean? What's the list for?"

"Our people are intent on learning more about the universe. It is ever-expanding and changing, and there is much to learn. We immerse ourselves in the culture and learn more of it."

"How's it been going so far?" Hobbes asked.

"We're cold and soaked."

"Ah."

"Why are you guys still in my neighborhood, though?" Calvin asked. "Why don't you just go somewhere else?"

The two aliens exchanged confused glances. "Somewhere else?"

"Calvin?" Mom's voice suddenly shouted.

Everyone jumped in surprise.

"Calvin, who's at the door?"

Calvin and Hobbes looked at each other in horror.

"What is the matter?" Galaxoid asked. "Who's that?"

"My mom," Calvin said quickly. "You guys need to hide before she sees you."

"Why?"

"Because… I, er, didn't tell the people of Earth that I sold the planet to you two."

"What? Why not?" Nebular asked.

"Well, because… You weren't hostile, and you weren't going to change anything, so we decided to keep it quiet! The people of this planet are primitive! If they'd heard that aliens were invading, there might have been an uprising!"

"And you didn't even tell your own mother?" Galaxoid demanded, seemingly aghast.

"Gotta say, that does sound kind of scummy," Hobbes remarked.

"Oh, shut up! Hide! Before she sees you!"

Galaxoid and Nebular ran around in circles before they both bumped each other and fell on the floor.

Getting an idea, Calvin and Hobbes promptly rolled the armless aliens under the sofa. "Sorry about this, guys," Calvin grunted, pushing them under.

They heard Mom's footsteps coming. They stood in front of the fireplace, trying to look as innocent as possible.

Then Hobbes chanced a glance at the fireplace and saw the stockings still hanging, with holes cut in them and dripping. Acting quickly, he yanked them down and tossed them behind the couch.

The very second they disappeared, Mom walked into the room.

She found her son and his stuffed tiger standing by the fire, looking disturbingly innocent.

"Who was at the door?" she asked.

"Oh, it was a door-to-door salesman selling snow shovels. I told him we already had one."

She stared at him for a long moment.

He just smiled winningly.

After a long moment, she gave up trying to figure out what he was hiding, seeing as how nothing was out of place, and with a defeated shrug, she turned and left the room.

Letting out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding, Calvin went over to the couch and looked under it at the two aliens glaring at him from underneath.

"Sorry about that, guys. She's gone now. Hobbes, help me lift the couch."

Hobbes walked over, and they lifted the couch up off of the two aliens, who crawled out from underneath, their uniforms wrinkled and covered in lint.

Calvin nabbed the stockings and hung them back over the fire.

"You have strange ways of running this planet, Earth Leader," Galaxoid remarked.

"To each his own," Calvin replied with a shrug. "I can't be the strangest Potentate you've ever met."

"True," Nebular said with a nod. "There was once a curious Potentate from the planet Androgynous VI who insisted on trying to eat its own foot. Fortunately, it was always able to grow a new one, so the thrill of the chase never faded."

Hobbes blinked. "Well, that's… quirky."

"We should probably depart," Galaxoid said firmly. "If your people are unaware of our presence, then we must make ourselves scarce. We shall return to our ship."

"Yeah, that's probably for the best," Calvin agreed.

"Still, if you guys want a vacation, head for Mexico. It's still pretty warm this time of year," Hobbes suggested. "Most of our birds go there during the winter."

"Mexico, eh?" Galaxoid said, looking thoughtful. "Nebular – when we get back to the ship, prepare to plot a course for this 'Mexico'."

"I shall," Nebular replied.

"Okay! Everyone's happy!" Calvin said hurriedly, snatching down the now-dry stockings and draping them over the heads of the two aliens.

"Thank you for your advice, Earth Potentate," Galaxoid said, getting comfortable once again.

"Anytime. But next time – call first."

"How shall we reach you?"

"We'll work something out. See you guys later!"

Hobbes opened the door for the two aliens, and they slithered out into the snow.

The two friends watched them leave. It was a curious thing to watch two small upside-down Christmas stockings toddling off down a snowy sidewalk in the late evening.

"You know," said Hobbes quietly, "it's weird how just when I think there's some normalcy around here, something all new and extra-weird comes up to throw me for a loop."

"Yeah…," Calvin said with a grin. "Awesome, isn't it?"

"Calvin!" his mother's voice called out. "It's time for supper!"

The two friends exchanged glances.

"What do you think it is?" Hobbes asked.

"Well, it's the start of a New Year, so it's probably something symbolic."

"Eggplant casserole, then?"

"To symbolize that nothing ever changes around here."

They took one last glance down the sidewalk to make sure Galaxoid and Nebular were getting along their way all right.

"Hey, how come we never go anywhere tropical?" Hobbes asked.

"It's all about transport, Hobbes."

"What about your cardboard box? Couldn't we use that?"

"I've been meaning to modify it into an airplane, but I'm having trouble finding a decent fuel source. I've been experimenting with the citrusy properties of fruit juice, but I haven't hit on the right one just yet."

"Calvin, get in here! It's getting cold!"

Calvin snorted. "As if that'll make it anymore edible," he muttered.

Hobbes shook his head as he closed the door, and the two went inside.

As they were doing this, they didn't notice the shrubbery outside their house shift momentarily. A few moments later, a man crawled out from under it.

It was the man who had chased them earlier. He'd found the house.

He crawled out of the shrubs, cleaning himself off, trying to plan what to do next. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a worn-out old tape recorder. He pressed the record button and spoke into it.

"I've found the boy's house. He was talking to what appeared to be two small creatures with one eye and pale gray skin with no arms. Probably just little kids in costumes. Also, he still talks to that stuffed tiger. I can't imagine what for. Probably lonely if his only friends are toys and weirdoes in costumes. In other words, he seems ideal for my purposes. I shall have to make use of him. Still, I need more information. I need to make sure he's truly the right sort of kid."

He shut off the tape recorder and looked around. No one had spotted him just plain old staring at somebody's house.

Pleased with how things were progressing, he turned to leave. He stalked off down the sidewalk, rubbing his hands together, half from the cold, half with delight that his plans were finally coming to fruition.

But he didn't cackle madly. That was a cliché.