UNDERCOVER

A Kim Possible fan fiction

By Michael Howard

(Author's Note: This story takes place during the Memorial Day weekend of Kim and Ron's Junior Year in High School and is rated T for adult themes, language, and violence.)


2. Second Honeymoon

Saturday Morning:

Consciousness returned in slow, gradual steps to Ron Stoppable. First came the realization that he was not waking up in his own bedroom. Then he recalled that his house was hundreds, possibly thousands of miles away at the moment because he had spent the night at a hotel in a little tourist town in Connecticut. The next fact to float up into his awareness was that his best friend, Kim Possible, was here as well. Here was used in a figurative sense, though, because Ron would have bet next month's allowance (had it not already been grudgingly advanced to him) on the belief that Kim was out doing something productive.

I'm guessing a ten mile jog while checking her chemistry book for typos.

Ron decided the light coming through the window was too intense and twisted his head to face in the opposite direction. Doing so revealed that Kim was actually seated a few feet away with one leg perched on top of another and her forearms resting casually on the higher knee.

"Aahh!" said Ron as he hastily gathered the discarded bedding to his midsection. Was I scratching? Tell me I was not scratching anywhere I shouldn't have been.

"Good morning, Ron. Should I run downstairs and get you some nice strong coffee?"

The friendly sparkle in her emerald eyes was reassuring but did not explain why she had been watching him sleep. He ran a hand through his hair and asked, "What, is the TV broken?"

"Relax. I was just debating about when or whether I should wake you up."

"There's news on the DNAmy front?"

"As in I found her hiding in the bathroom and she's on her way back to the prison cell she broke out of? Ah, no."

"Right. So, how are you feeling today, KP?"

She smiled. "Like a thousand percent better. I know it's a cliché but getting a good night's sleep really does make the world a brighter place."

"First time in a while?"

"Well, insomnia hasn't been an every night problem. Just a little more frequent than I would like."

"When did that start?"

She shrugged. "A few weeks ago, I guess."

Meaning this is yet another negative consequence of the Moodulator deal. As if being forced to publicly kiss me and then endure the snickering and finger pointing of every kid at school wasn't punishment enough. "I'm sorry, Kim."

"You didn't cause the problem, Ron."

No, but he had no doubt made the situation even worse for her. As a form of damage control, Ron had offered to keep his distance from her for a while, but she had vetoed that idea quickly and vehemently.

Ron stood up and moved toward the bathroom, giving her arm a pat as he stepped by.

When he emerged again barely two minutes later, Kim looked up from a newspaper spread out on the table before her. Noticing he was still wearing his nightclothes she asked, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just forgot my shaving kit."

"Your 'shaving kit'? What would you be doing with one of those?"

He pulled a small black case from his carry-on bag and stood back up so his glare would have more potency behind it. "Y'know, Kim, I'm gonna treat that as one of those rhetoric questions and just not answer."

"The word is rhetorical. So, how long have you been shaving?"

He retrieved a can of shaving cream from the case and gave it a shake. "It's almost half empty."

"Oh, so it's been years then."

Ron gave her a glower and started back for the bathroom but Kim got there first. She held up a hand appeasingly. "I-I promise. No more digs."

"Good."

"But... I want to watch."

He considered this a moment, then silently waved her in. Kim stood next to him as he placed the shaving cream and a safety razor down on the counter top, then adjusted the faucet to the desired temperature.

"Wait." Kim reached out to run her fingertips along his jaw line. "For the before and after testimonial," she explained. "Now you may proceed."

"Sure you don't want to get in a few more snarky comments?"

"You mean something like after five years of babysitting I should know a baby's bottom when I feel it. No, I won't say that because I promised I wouldn't, and because... " She gave him a smile that somehow seemed wistful. "And because there really are a few whiskers there."

Kim sat down on the edge of the bathtub to watch him lather up and shave. When he had finished and was wiping his face with a towel, she asked, "So what other deep dark secrets have you been keeping from me?"

Ron suddenly froze in place. "I, er, well-"

Kim started for the door but let her hand linger for a moment on his shoulder as she passed by him. "That's a rhetoric question, Ron. You're not supposed to answer it."

The next time Ron saw Kim she was wearing the black wig, the glasses, and the nose stud.

"Sorry I took so long."

She made a flippy gesture with her hand. "I took a long shower today, too. You just weren't there to see it. Uh, I mean you weren't awake to be aware of it."

"Right. So, are you going to be up for some breakfast?"

"Oh, yeah. Stomach trouble seems to be yesterday's news."

"Great. The Inn is supposed to have terrific food."

"Then what are we standing around here for? Let's go downstairs."

"Yeah, just a minute, KP." Ron stroked his artificial goatee thoughtfully as he considered her appearance. "Something is not quite right here, but I can't figure out exactly what it is."

He walked completely around her. No complaints about the way those jeans fit. And that top, since when does she leave the zipper down that far?

Some part of the anger he suddenly felt toward himself must have appeared in his expression because she was giving him a distressed look.

"Is it that bad?"

"No! Kim, the look is amazing. It's just that... "

He snatched the glasses off her face without preamble, frowned, and then exclaimed, "Oh, yeah! The Ronster knows his game!"

He grabbed her wrist and yanked her into the bathroom. "Look at the mirror," he commanded.

"Yeah. You didn't clean it after your shower."

Ron pulled a hand towel off the rack and took a few swipes of the glass. "Look at yourself in the mirror."

She did so and then turned back to him. "What am I supposed to see? A zit? Something in my teeth? Narrow it down for me, Ron."

"Check the eyebrows."

"Two, just like yesterday."

"Yes, but yesterday you were a redhead."

"Ohhhh. But is that really something a person would notice?"

"I did. Wait right here."

Ron came back with a handful of makeup pencils and held them in front of her hair and her skin one by one until he had the appropriate choice. His hands took hold of her upper arms and gently turned her until the light was equally strong on each side of her face.

"Now see, I could work on actually changing the color of the eyebrows but that wouldn't be so easy to switch back. So what I'm going to do is lighten the tint of the skin around your brows instead. It will accomplish the same thing and you can reverse it by just washing your face."

She smiled. " 'The Ronster knows his game.' "

That could just be Kimspeak for 'I don't know what you're talking about and I'm not going to admit it' but Ron preferred to interpret it as a compliment. He seated himself on the counter and leaned closer to her. The makeup tool was lifted up but then it froze in place.

"KP, you're not going to conk me on the head again, are you?"

Ron was close enough to hear Kim swallow before she replied in a murmur, "Not if you're expecting it. What's the fun in that?"

"Arch your brows. Good."

She closed her eyes at the same time and this gave him the courage to bring his face even closer to hers. He began to apply the pencil tip to her skin but this action did not receive his full attention because the nose stud she wore was shiny and therefore strangely fascinating.

"Does the nose thing hurt?"

"No, it's powered by what Wade calls a magnetic stasis field. When it's activated, the stud and the post inside are attracted to each other but won't come closer than, say, an eighth of an inch."

Ron didn't find the details all that interesting but the sensation of her warm, sweet breath on his face was exquisite. He wanted to keep her talking but had trouble coming up with safe topics of conversation.

I certainly couldn't tell her I thought that with or without the stud she had the most delectable nose ever to grace a girl's, no, a woman's face. Or that her skin is so smooth and clear it looks like one of those porcelain dolls my mother collects. I know, I'll tell her that I'm really, really tempted to sneak a peak down the front of her shirt. Then she'll know what a 'good friend' I've been to her the last few weeks.

Man, we're coming up on nearly a month that's gone by since the Moodulator disaster so you'd think I could stop thinking about her... in that way for more than like five seconds in a row.

The pencil broke in half and Kim's eyes snapped open. Her gaze went from his face to the pencil piece in each hand and then back. "What, you still wearing the Henchco ring?"

Ron slid himself off the counter. "I was done with it, anyway." He plucked a tissue from the box on the wall and quickly blotted each of her eyebrows. "And now you're done, too."

Kim leaned forward to consider his efforts in the mirror. Straightening up again she said, "It's a subtle difference... "

And now she thinks I did it just to get the chance to perv on her!

"But I appreciate you putting in the extra effort for me. Thanks, Ron." Kim smiled at him and gave the false beard a playful tug.

"You must be starving, KP."

"Getting there, yeah."

"Well then, c'mon already."

They had the door to the hallway open when a thought occurred to Kim. "Wait, Ron," she said. Then in a whisper, she explained, "I want to bring the Kimmunicator down too, but neither one of us has a pocket big enough for it."

"Bring it down for breakfast?"

"Yes."

"Hello! It's a machine, Kim. Pretty sure it doesn't need to eat."

She gave him an incredulous glare. "Remind me to call my mom and set up a brain scan for you when we get back."

"I've already got a lot on my mind, KP. Can't you just write yourself a note?"

Her lips twitched. "I'm thinking the next head butting is going to be sooner rather than later."

"Are you two going to kiss?"

Startled, Ron turned around to see a blonde haired girl about five years old staring at them from an open doorway farther down the hall.

"Now why would you think that?" Kim asked in a friendly voice.

"That's what people do in hotels."

"Are you sure? It sounds kind of gross to me." Kim turned to Ron and whispered, "I guess we'll leave it here. Put it somewhere out of sight, please." In a louder voice she asked, "Have you been to many hotels?"

Ron walked to the table between the two chairs and picked up the Kimmunicator. His eyes moved around the room, locating and discarding a number of hiding places. He was considering the half-sized refrigerator when Kim stuck her head in the doorway for a moment to hiss, "Backpack. And close it up."

Of course. Even while engaged in a conversation with an inquisitive child, Kim still had the brainpower to arrive at the correct solution before he did.

Although rarely activated, the mission backpacks carried by Kim and Ron were equipped with a sophisticated security system that could only be unlocked by their own unique genetic signatures. He stowed away the communication device and clicked the strap handles together. The pack made a soft chiming noise to indicate it was now locked.

Stepping back into the hall he heard Kim ask, "You've been to Disney World three times? That's awesome!"

The girl was standing outside their door now. She pointed to Ron and demanded, "Who's that?"

"Jennifer, this is Ron. Ron, meet Jennifer."

"Hello, Jennifer. It's nice to-"

"Jenny, are you out here?"

The three of them turned to see a woman in her thirties walking toward them.

"Jenny, I told you not to wander off like that. And why are you bothering these people?"

"She wasn't bothering us at all," Kim assured the woman. "We were having a nice talk about hotels."

The woman seemed to find that doubtful. "Jenny, I'm still trying to light a fire under your father and brother so they don't waste this entire vacation. Now, go downstairs and wait for us in the lobby."

As Jennifer started off, her mother gave them each a tight smile. "I am sorry. With that girl, if it's not interrogating total strangers, then it's sliding down... Jenny! You better not be... "

The woman started to run down the hall, but Kim made her look like she was standing still. When Ron got to the top of the stairway landing he saw Kim was bent forward over the banister so that only the lower half of her body was visible and there was no sign of Jenny at all.

In a strained voice, Kim said, "Uh, Ron, a little help here. Can't get leverage... "

He moved closer to look over the railing and saw that Kim's left hand was locked on Jennifer's wrist and this was the only thing preventing the girl from falling a dozen feet to the floor. Ron instinctively threw his arms around Kim's upper torso, realized he was touching her in an inappropriate place, make that two inappropriate places, and hastily pulled his hands away.

Kim's right hand began to slide along the banister with a squelchy sound as she was pulled farther over the rail. "Ron, so not the time to be a gentleman!"

More of her midsection was above the rail now so Ron could wrap his arms tightly around her stomach and stop her from moving forward any more. And with the help of the girl's mother, they quickly had Kim and Jennifer back on their feet.

After a series of fierce hugs and a fiercer scolding, the woman turned her attention back to Kim. "Thank you so much! I can't tell you... "

Ron saw Kim fight the urge to give her patented 'It was no big.' Instead she said simply, "You're welcome."

They watched Jennifer be dragged back down the hall while her mother repeatedly threatened to tell the father all about this latest 'escapade'.

"Oh my god. That was amazing."

Ron turned to see the young woman who had checked them into the Inn last night walking up the stairs. "I saw the whole thing from down there. The girl starts to slide down the banister and before I can get out a single word she flips over and it looks like she's going to do a header right onto the lobby floor, but then you appeared out of nowhere and then instead of falling she was just floating peacefully and... and... " She paused to take a breath. "And if I ever used a run on sentence like that when I was at Chilton, somebody would have had to call EMS."

Kim returned Rory's smile, barely. "Chilton is a school, obviously. But I thought you said you went to Yale."

"I go to Yale now. Chilton was before that. Anyway, Ms. Pendarvis-"

"Call me Kim."

"Yeah, me too," Ron blurted out.

That earned him a look from his best friend who said, "If she called us both Kim I think that could get confusing. So how about she calls you Ron?"

"Yeah, heh heh, that works too."

"Okay, Kim and Ron - my name is Rory by the way - I'm very glad to meet you both. Again." She pointed her finger at him. "And I'm still trying to remember where I know you from. But anyway, on behalf of the Dragonfly Inn, I want to thank you very much for what you just did. That could have turned out very badly - but it didn't. And as a small token of our appreciation, the management would like you to know that there won't be any charges for your meals here during your stay with us."

Kim's smile was more genuine now. "Thank you, Rory. That's very generous of you."

"Actually, it's generous of her." Their gazes moved in the direction indicated by Rory's outstretched arm where another woman was just reaching the top of the stairs. "This is Lorelai Gilmore, the owner of the Dragonfly Inn."

The newcomer walked up next to Rory and put an arm around her but even without that gesture of familiarity, Ron would have known there was some sort of biological connection between the two. Both were tall and shapely with long auburn hair and dazzling blue eyes. Ron thought from the first that Rory was movie star pretty, but Lorelai was every bit her equal in terms of physical attractiveness.

Rory adopted an accusatory tone as she told the woman, "You missed all the excitement. The little girl in Room 7 just found herself on the wrong side of the banister right there-"

"And the Connecticut Bar Association charter bus just pulled up?"

"And Kim and Ron Pendarvis, the new guests in Room 4, rescued her in a spectacular fashion. If Superman were here to see them in action, he'd be switching to green tights out of sheer envy."

Kim said, "Your sister is exaggerating a little here."

"Daughter," corrected Lorelai.

" 'Daughter'?" repeated Kim. "Oh."

"Yes, we tried the sister thing but the vows of chastity never made it past Prom Night."

" 'Prom Night' " repeated Kim in a confused voice.

"Mother... " said Rory, disapprovingly.

Lorelai looked from Ron to Kim. "Mr. and Mrs. Pendarvis, on behalf of everyone here at the Inn I want to thank you both for what you've done. As a small token of our gratitude, I'll arrange that there be no charges for your meals while you're with us."

"Ah ha!" said Rory. "I already told them that. "

"Good work. Put yourself down for a raise."

"All right. And just what is ten percent of nothing?"

Ron turned from Rory to Lorelai. "Free food is welcome at any time, but when it's Sookie St. James who is doing the cooking, it's really appreciated."

The two Gilmores exchanged looks and Lorelai asked, "Do you know Sookie?"

"Only by reputation, although we do have friends in common at the CIA."

Kim turned suddenly toward Ron. "The what?"

"The Culinary Institute of America," supplied Lorelai. "That threw me the first time I heard it, too."

"Right. Any chance I might get to meet her?"

"I'd really like to accommodate you there, Mr. Pendarvis-"

"Ron."

"Ron. But apparently she is going to be off the job indefinitely."

Ron felt Kim move close to him and heard her venture, "I hope it isn't anything serious."

"All I know right now is that a 'family situation' has come up."

Kim gave him a covert poke.

Is that to make sure I caught the word 'family' or does she… Oh, wait. How could I forget? "Um, Mrs. Gilmore. I won't pretend for one second I am a chef in Sookie's class, but I do work in a restaurant back home and I know my way around a kitchen, so if you find yourself short handed this weekend, I'd be glad to help out in any way I can."

She studied his face for several seconds. "Was your mother's name Teresa?"

"Enough with the nun jokes already," said Rory.

"OK, first off, please call me Lorelai. Second, you are a guest of this inn. Third, you just helped prevent another guest, a little girl, from a serious injury. Fourth, you're on your honeymoon and your new wife is gorgeous enough to make me want to rethink this whole straight and narrow path I've been leading..."

He felt Kim flinch slightly at that.

"I couldn't possibly impose on your generosity like that," Lorelai concluded.

"Well, okay," said Ron. "But I'll leave the offer out there in case you change your mind."

When they were halfway down the stairs, Kim shot a quick glance over her shoulder and leaned closer to him.

"Ron, that was awesome! I see now you planned the whole cooking gig in advance, but how did you know this Sookie person was going to disappear?"

He was tempted, very tempted, to claim it was all going according to his carefully crafted scheme, but those words wouldn't come. "I didn't, KP. My idea was to approach Sookie as an ardent admirer - nobody is immune to flattery, right? – and then after we have a connection, I squeeze her for info on cousin Amy. But like you just saw, nothing is going to come of it now."

"We don't know that for sure. Anyway, a favor offered can still earn a reward. And it's impressive that you put all that effort into researching the role."

"Well, I have been brushing up on my cooking knowledge. But how did you know?"

"Ah…" Suddenly Kim linked an arm around one of his and yanked. "C'mon. The dining room is that way. Let's get in there before I pass out."

They were seated at the last free table. Ron studied the voluminous menu for several minutes, then looked up to see Kim frowning over hers.

"Too many choices, KP?"

"Not exactly what I was thinking."

Ron decided she was probably looking forward to a nice conventional breakfast just like her Mom would make. "Well, if you don't see anything that appeals to you, just order what you really want. They'll make it, no problem."

"Why don't I just ask for a kiddie menu?" she asked peevishly.

Okay, the hungry cranks have finally caught with somebody. And the other somebody at the table knows better than to say that out loud.

She was staring down at her menu, her right hand pressed against her forehead as if to shield her face from his scrutiny.

"Kim?"

"Yes?" she responded without looking up.

"Do you trust me?"

Even with her head tilted downward, he could see the corners of her mouth quirk. "With my life, yes. With my stomach, I'm not so sure."

"I have a challenge in mind."

That got her attention, as he knew it would. She raised her head a few degrees while sliding the glasses down her nose, the better to impale him with her fixed gaze. Ron thought if he was to ever date a woman as beautiful as Kim and she sent him a smoldering look like that, he would spontaneously combust.

"Go on," she said, with a somewhat husky quality to her voice.

"I pick out your breakfast and if you don't like it, then I help you study tonight as long as you want."

"Huh. Interesting. And if I do like it?"

"Doesn't matter. You can't resist a challenge no matter what the prize might be."

She opened her mouth as if to protest, then nodded reluctant agreement. Kim held out a palm and bent the fingers until they were perpendicular to the tabletop. "Bring it on."

It was just after 10:30 am when Kim set her fork down on the plate and wiped her mouth with a linen napkin. Her eyes casually moved from face to face until she had looked at every person in the dining room, save one.

Ron recognized the significance of her actions and smiled. "So, Kim, how was breakfast?"

She met his gaze with an almost sullen look and a slight lift of one shoulder.

"My shruggish is a little weak. Does that mean you liked it or not?"

"Did you really think I would like something with duck eggs, pork sausage, apples, and manicotti cheese in it? That sounds more like an emetic than an omelet."

"What's an emetic?"

"Umm, I'll tell you later." She took a deep breath, as if steeling herself for some unpleasant task. "I didn't like what you picked out for me, Ron." Measured pause. "I loved it! That was the most amazing breakfast I've ever had. (Sorry, Mom)."

Ron pumped his fist once and silently mouthed, "Boo-yah!"

Kim watched him for a moment. "That's it? No shouts of triumph, no victory dance on the table?"

"Nah. We'll save that for when I ace things again at lunch and dinner and-"

Even though his best friend's emotional state had been somewhat erratic so far this weekend, he should have known her essential Kim-ness would not allow her to indefinitely accept the idea that he was her superior, at anything.

With a forefinger aimed at his face she snapped, "Look Ron, you got lucky once this weekend, but don't push it and try for two." As soon as the words passed her lips, her eyes got wide. In a softer voice she said, "That sentence could be totally misinterpreted."

"Oh, hi again, Lorelai."

"That is so not funny, Ron." She glared at him a moment longer and then uncertainty touched her features. Kim glanced over her shoulder and then her head snapped forward again. In an instant her cheeks reddened as quickly and as darkly as he had ever seen it happen.

What's her deal? Didn't want anyone to know I ordered for her?

Lorelai considered the hands covering Kim's face for a moment, then turned to Ron. "So, I hope breakfast was good."

"Fantastic," Ron assured her.

They both looked at Kim again and she managed to set her palms down on the table and give a tight nod of agreement.

Lorelai gestured toward the well-dressed man beside her. "This is Michel Gerard, the manager of the Dragonfly."

"Glad to meet ya," said Ron.

"How do you do?" Michel returned.

Ron had assumed he was African-American but there was a definite foreign inflection to his words.

"Can we sit?" asked Lorelai.

Kim finally found her voice. "Please do. You, too, Mr. Gerard."

"I do not believe our business will take that long," he said stiffly.

Lorelai began, "So, what big plans do the newlyweds have for today?"

"But obviously, I was mistaken," murmured Michel.

"Nothing concrete," said Ron. "We'll probably wander into town first. Then maybe out into the countryside. Kim is really big on outdoor sports."

"There are some books and fliers on hiking trails in the library."

"Sounds great," muttered Kim, her face almost back to normal.

Michel edged closer to his supervisor and rumbled, "Lorelai…"

"Umm, Ron, Kim. Do you remember how about thirty minutes ago I said we wouldn't dream of imposing on you two?" She paused to move closer to them and lowered her voice. "Well, the fickle finger of fate blah, blah, blah... I have since been reminded that one of our local health inspectors actually has relatives staying at the Inn right now and we expect her to show up at any moment."

"And it won't be easy to get a replacement for Sookie in here on short notice on a holiday weekend?" asked Ron.

"Exactly."

"But I don't understand, Lorelai." Kim waved to a few of the closer tables. "Food is still being prepared and ours, at least, tasted great."

"The problem isn't with meal preparation. Sookie has a terrific kitchen staff and they have no trouble following her recipes. The complication is that in our county there is a requirement that said kitchen staff be supervised by a chef with a culinary accreditation of class two or higher during peak meal times. Now, we have done a little internet research on Ron-"

She noticed the two teens exchange looks of concern.

"Just to make sure your Ohio credentials are compatible with ours," Lorelai added hastily. "And it appears that they are."

"How soon do you need me?"

"About three hours ago, actually."

"Then let me run upstairs for a few minutes to take care of a couple of things and then I'll be right back down. Kim, did you hear? I'm going to work in the kitchen of Sookie St. James!"

Lorelai said earnestly, "Kim, Ron, I- I can't tell you how much I appreciate this."

"No big," Ron assured her. It's okay if I say it. I hope.

Once they were out of the dining room, Ron leaned over to whisper, "The Stoppable dumb luck strikes again."

"Dumb skill," Kim corrected him with a smile.

"Kudos to GJ for putting false info on the web about the other me."

"Yeah, well, they've been doing this a lot longer than us."

"I guess. Sure wish I could be with you for the meet with the informant, though."

"Tell you all about it, after I know the details myself."

They took the stairs at a run, and as soon as they were behind the closed doors of their room, Ron snatched up his case and brought it over to the bed.

As he began to paw through the contents she asked, "What are you looking for?"

"Cell phones."

"Well, I have mine. And you told me you lost yours. Again."

"Not ours, the ones GJ gave us."

"Ron, you so cannot lose any of the stuff they give us on this mission!"

"Okay, Kim, okay. Ahhh! Where are they?"

She put her hand on his arm. "Go finish up in the bathroom. I'll find them."

"Yeah, but…" He looked at her, then at the contents of the bag.

"What? Afraid I'll see your unmentionables? Several years too late for that worry." She grabbed a pair of his boxer shorts at random. "Didn't these go on display on that last mission against Dementor? And for some reason I associate this pair with our middle school graduation ceremony."

"They're not the same pair! They just look similar." As Ron headed for the bathroom he grumbled, "It isn't healthy to dwell on the past, you know."

He left the bathroom door open so Kim walked in to join him a few minutes later. Eyeing the cloud of toothpaste foam covering the lower half of his face, she waved imaginary pom-poms and called out softly, "Go Mad Dogs."

Ron cupped his hands under the running faucet and collected enough water to rinse his face. "I see you found them. Good."

"It wasn't hard," Kim said. "I just had to stop looking where you told me they would be and check your backpack."

"Oh, yeah. Umm, anyway, the two phones are linked. The first speed dial listing for each will call the other phone. I think most of the other names in the directories are fakes but if you select 'Aunt Betty' it connects you with a GJ operator. And that's your password too. You need to be in the town square at noon. Look for someone-man or woman-holding a lime green drinking cup. Say anything to them to initiate a conversation as long as Aunt Betty is part of the first sentence."

"Got it." She checked her watch. "Looks like we both need to roll out."

He was still engaged in drying his face and hands so Kim reached out to push one of the phones into the front pocket of his jeans. That brought the conversation to a halt for a long moment until he said, "Right. Time's a-wastin'. We'll catch up with each other as soon as we can."

Suddenly there was an impish grin on her face. "Okay, honey. Have a good day at work!"


"What's the matter, doll? You lost er somethin'?"

Kim turned in the direction of the deep, raspy voice and was surprised to see a woman rather than a man had addressed her. "I think I got turned around somehow."

"That's all right, suga'. You just tell me where yer comin' from and where ya wanna go and we'll get you back on the right track."

Kim found herself smiling down at a thickset woman of about sixty who barely reached to her chin but still managed to have a voice better suited for a Brooklyn cab driver. "That depends. Are you speaking philosophically or geographically?"

"Oh ho. Listen to the big words comin' outta that pretty face. Yer a tourist, honey, cuz I'd remember meetin' you around town. Where ya headed?"

"Town square, please."

"Right. I shoulda known. Well, you are headin' in the right direction, suga'. But ya need to go left at the corner. Two more blocks from there and ya can't miss the square. Got it?"

"Got it."

"'Course, ya could just follow Harry." She pointed to a large panel van approaching from Kim's left. "He's headin' to Doose's Market and ya could just follow him. The market is right offa the square."

"Oh, okay. But why's he driving so slow?"

"Cuz it's Saturday."

"There's an ordinance?"

"No, Harry is goin' slow cuz he ain't in a hurry to finish his deliveries."

"I see," lied Kim after an awkward silence.

The woman smiled and tapped her finger against the borrowed wedding ring Kim wore. "Yer married, honey, you know the to-do list kin get pretty long by the end of the week."

"Gotcha," said Kim, resisting an impulse to ask if Harry's last name might be Stoppable.

"Where ya stayin', doll?"

"The Dragonfly."

The woman gave a satisfied nod. "Best choice ya coulda made. An' I'm not just sayin' that cuz the owner's my next door neighbor."

"Mrs. Gilmore? Really? Well, it certainly is a small town you have here."

"Lorelai ain't a Mrs. She never was and now it looks like she never will be, poor thing."

Kim waited a moment to see if further explanations might be offered, then thanked the woman and set off after the panel van.

Following even a slow-moving vehicle for several blocks might have taxed the stamina of most but Kim wasn't even breathing hard as Harry pulled into an alleyway behind Doose's Market. She expected him to exit the truck and walk into the store to announce his arrival, but instead he suddenly shifted gears and began to move in reverse.

Unfortunately, a man carrying a large cardboard tray filled with paper bags chose that moment to cross between the alley and the loading dock.

Kim shouted a warning but her words were drowned out by the motor's roar. She darted forward and threw her arms around the man's torso so she could pull him out of harm's way. When his shoes were back on the pavement again, he turned around to consider her. His eyes traveled from her face, her figure, their immediate surroundings, and then back to her face. "How the hell did you do that?"

"Um… adrenaline?"

"I'm probably twice your weight and size but you just picked me up completely off the ground and carried me for what, ten feet?"

"Yeah, good job on not dropping the food. It smells great, by the way."

"Come around to the diner and try some for yourself."

"Oh, okay. But I wasn't hinting for anything." Her gaze drifted to his thick, tousled brown hair. "You had a hat, didn't you? And there it is." She struck his baseball cap against her thigh a few times and extended it in his direction. His hands were still full with the cardboard tray so he lowered his head toward her. "There you go."

His eyes flicked upwards briefly. "The other way."

"Backwards? Really? Ah, okay, there. That does look better."

"I'm Luke. Luke Danes."

"Kim Po- Pendarvis. And if you're the Luke who owns the restaurant here, you will be seeing me sometime this weekend for sure. We've heard some good things about the food you serve."

Luke Danes was a tall, well-built man in his forties, one Kim placed unreservedly in the hottie column, despite him being days overdue for a shave and wearing clothes better suited for a construction worker than a business owner.

"It's a diner, not a restaurant. Right down on the square."

"The square? Right." She checked her watch. "Gotta go, Mr. Danes. See you around." With a smile she added, "Or at least I will if you start paying more attention to your surroundings."

Kim put on a burst of speed and reached the town square while it was still nine minutes to twelve. It wasn't a particularly impressive sight. The park-like open area at its center was no more than 20 yards across and none of the commercial buildings located around the edge of the square were even as big as her home back in Middleton.

Am I just being jaded here? It is hard to be impressed with a small town like this when you've seen each of the world's ten largest cities and most of the top twenty.

The early arrival allowed her time to to walk around the streets that lined the square. She almost missed Luke's Diner because it seemed to share the same building as a hardware store. Weird combination, she decided, but maybe such arrangements were more acceptable in a small town. Peering through the front window she saw the diner was small and quite full at the moment. Of course, it was the lunch hour.

The diner was on a corner and Kim crossed over at the intersection where the town's only traffic light was located. There were about a dozen people in the square itself but the number would be fluid because some of them were just walking through to get somewhere else. Other than the walkers, Kim saw children playing, adults conversing, a couple making out, even a shaggy-haired man with glasses strumming an acoustic guitar. That sight, at least, would have attracted some attention back in Middleton but here no one seemed to notice.

So far she saw no one holding a lime green drinking cup, so Kim decided to do a bit more wandering. She soon found herself standing before the town's welcome sign. Let's see here, Stars Hollow is more than twice as old as Middleton, but only has about one-tenth the population. Still, I don't doubt there are more similarities than differences between the two communities.

Her gaze moved back in the direction where she had seen the local high school. I'm sure they have a food chain over there too, lorded over by their version of Bonnie, someone inflicting misery on everyone who doesn't measure up to a series of arbitrary standards. Of course that system goes back a lot farther than the Bonnies of today. Human beings have been handing out winner and loser labels from day one.

The real question is, why do I accept it? It's evil, and it causes human suffering. And instead of fighting it, I'm a charter member. Ron was so right last night. I still obsess over what other people think about me. Everything has to fit that narrow gauge of acceptability, whether it's clothes, activities, boyfriends - whatever. You want help in overturning that system? Don't hit my website.

Kim noticed that the make out couple had left the gazebo in the center of the square and were walking in her general direction. Studying them covertly as they approached, she saw they were even younger than she had first estimated, certainly no older than she and Ron. Well, what they lack in maturity, they make up for in amorousness. It's pretty obvious what activity is in their immediate future.

As soon as they passed her location, Kim headed for the now vacant gazebo. From that position, she could keep an eye on the entire square. She pulled the backpack off her shoulder, set it down on one of the wooden benches inside the gazebo, then seated herself next to it. Another futile scan of the area and then a look at her watch. 12:12. Perhaps too soon to give up on the meeting, but things were looking more doubtful.

She retrieved her personal cell phone from her pant's pocket. It isn't so early back in Middleton. Besides, it's been almost twenty-four hours and I just don't want to put this call off any longer.

One ring.

Two.

"Hello?"

"Monique? Kim. Hope I'm not calling too early."

The voice was thick with sleep but the words were as reassuring as she could have hoped. "No, GF. It's cool."

"No work today?"

"Uh uh. First Saturday off since the dawn of time… cards."

"Spankin'. Got plans?"

"No, but since you're back from the mission, how about we-"

"Love to, but this one's still ongoing."

"Really. And you get time to make calls?"

"There's a little downtime before the main event."

"Where are you? Can you spill?"

"Probably shouldn't." In fact, I probably shouldn't be using my personal phone at all, and I wouldn't even have it with me if Wade were on the job.

"So, Monique, I wanted to get your take on somebody."

"Who's that?"

"Bobby Johnson."

"PPRI."

"Ah, okay. That means… um… I actually have no idea what that means."

"Pretty packaging, rotten interior."

"Got it. And how long did it take you to arrive at that opinion?"

"I was momentarily distracted by the dimples, so I reluctantly admit it was a full fifteen minutes."

"He is a real bas- a real piece of work, isn't he? So how come for weeks now I've been praising his wardrobe, laughing at his jokes, and raving about his ideas like they'll reverse global warming?"

"Um… YMMV?"

"Your mileage may vary. And apparently it did, but why?"

"Hormones, girl. It gets all of our brains slippin' gears at one time or another."

"Argh! Haven't they come up with a cure for those yet?"

"Well, I hear there is a quick fix but it comes with a strongly worded parental disapproval rating."

"And it does me no good anyway because yesterday he made it very clear I'm not on the list of girls he'd be interested in... fixing."

"Oh, Kim. I mean even by teenage boy standards, that's harsh. Please tell me your response was closed fist rather than open palm."

"The idea tempted me like no Club Banana sale ever could. But I fought it down. Eventually."

"Why?"

"Uh, how about the school rule against Public Displays of Aggression for starters?"

"That didn't save those bullies in 'D' Hall."

"That was different!"

"Yeah, because that was for Ron."

"Well, I-I'd do the same for you."

"Okay, Kim. So, continuing this morning's theme of looking for love in all the wrong places, guess who I spent forty-seven minutes with last night?"

"Male or female?"

"I don't know if that question says more about me or you. But the boy in question was Brick Flagg."

"Interesting. Details, please."

"I get off my shift last night and am heading for where I parked Mom's car when I see him wandering up and down the rows."

"Forgot where he parked again?"

"You know the boy too well. So while we're searching, we have a nice convo. I'll just give you the highlights here: sports, teachers, sports, homework, sports, TV, sports, sports on TV, sports that aren't on TV but should be… Oh, and he thinks he might be losing his hair. As if! Anyway, we finally come to the conclusion that he walked to the mall."

"That happened to him once at a gas station, too. Good thing you get sports."

"First time in years I didn't regret having a brother too big to fight the remote over."

"Did you drive him home?"

"Seemed like the thing to do."

"Walk him to the door?"

"Yeah, now you're goin' all pit-bullish on me."

"Sorry. Let's see, you and he have two classes together that I know of…"

"Whoa, rein in there, cowgirl. Brick is a nova class specimen but nothing is going to come of this."

"He and Bonnie are broken up."

"I know. I gave that news to you three days ago. Kim, I'm not sure there's anything between us except ESPN trivia and it really doesn't matter. With all the flunking he's done, he's gotta be close to twenty and that's just not gonna be cleared for landing at airport dad."

"Thunk," said Kim. "Uh, that was me dropping the subject." She sighed and asked, "What is wrong with the two of us, Monique? We are almost seniors in high school and between us we've had, what, a dozen dates?"

"Rephrase, girl. What's wrong with the boys around us is my question."

"Okay, if that helps. There was one good thing to come out of the Bobby J. sitch."

"Yeah?"

Kim hesitated, then said, "A solemn vow I made to myself to never, never ask a boy to go out with me again. Maybe they'll come to me, maybe they won't. Maybe even as we speak they are stenciling my name on a convent wall someplace."

"Father's Day is coming and research shows that is the most requested gift."

"Yeah, well, even so, this girl will not lead with her chin anymore."

"I guess there's something to that."

"You don't sound like you're ready to sign the same pledge, though."

"Don't think I better. We may be floating down the same river, but at least there's a life preserver next to you."

"Huh?"

"Hey, listen girl. My legs are starting to make like a pretzel so we need to snip this."

"Oh, okay." Was that bitterness in her voice there? Resignation? What gives?

"And Kim?"

"Yeah?"

"If you get any more downtime this weekend, maybe you could listen to that song I emailed you."

"I did pack my player so I could do it. No, I will do that, GF. I promise."

"Coolio. See you Tuesday. And good luck with the rest of the mish."

Kim closed up the cell and placed it back in her hip pocket. It was now almost half past twelve and the square was still empty of lime green drinking cups.

I am so out of here!

But even as she was lifting the backpack to her shoulder, the Kimmunicator emitted its familiar four-note summons. She seated herself again and hurriedly retrieved the electronic device.

"Wade?"

No. It was a woman about forty years old with short russet hair and a patch over one eye who had appeared in the view screen when Kim hit the accept button.

"Wade's still at the Conference for the Gallifrey Virus so I thought I'd check in with you myself." Betty Director gave Kim a quick smile. "The disguise is excellent."

"The Ron factor strikes again."

"So, how are you doing?"

"The informant never showed. What do you think that means?"

"Kim, I'm about nine thousand miles from your position and will be leading an assault on a secret WEE base in 17 minutes. I'll let you and Ron deal with the local situation."

"Right. Of course."

"So, you're good?"

"Yes. Why wouldn't I be?"

"For one thing, you've been keeping up a pretty hectic pace so far this year. Thirty-nine dangerous missions so far, that I know about."

"People needed my help and I like helping. It's a win-win." The leader of Global Justice responded only with a nod, which prompted Kim to add, "And then there's the whole Moodulator sitch. You did hear about that, I'll bet."

"It's my job to hear things, Kim."

"So now you're wondering if it fried my brain and I can't handle this kind of work anymore."

"If I was thinking that you'd still be in Middleton."

"Okay then, why the concern?"

"Because I… care."

Kim felt all the irritation drain out of her in an instant. "Um… that sounds like a real liability in your line of work."

Betty Director nodded, then held up a finger as another uniformed Global Justice operative leaned into camera view and whispered something into her ear. "Kim, there's less time than I thought here, but I wanted to go over a few things first. To start, it's probably not a good idea to bring your personal cell phone while on an undercover mission."

"Uh, understood. Won't happen again."

"Okay. Moving on to the reasons you and Ron are there."

"Meaning more than one?" asked Kim.

"I wanted you to experience Stars Hollow. It holds some happy memories for me, and maybe you'll gather a few of your own before this weekend is over.

"But do not lose sight of the mission objective. DNAmy needs to be recaptured and sooner rather than later."

"Because of her freelancing?"

"Exactly. In the past when she needed money, Amy has taken work for hire and hasn't shown much concern for the danger to public safety her genetic mutations could cause."

"So we have to get to her before any criminal organizations can?"

"Or terrorists."

"That would not be good," said Kim, her brain suddenly filled with thoughts of an incurable bio-engineered plague being released on an unsuspecting world.

"We will be sending some of our latest information to you via the Kimmunicator. Hope it proves useful. Good hunting, Kim."

"And good luck to you," the teen replied, but she was too slow and the view screen had already switched back to the KP logo.


The confidential informant was a local businessman named Taylor Doose. Armed with his home address and two different work locations, Kim set off with a renewed purpose but at each stop she heard the same thing. Taylor was out and no one knew where he was or when he would return. Stymied once again, she decided there was nothing else to do but head back to the Inn and hope Ron was making better progress.

Kim found herself looking around in an uncertain manner. She was getting pretty good at navigating the commercial district of the town but returning to the Inn would take a little more deliberation.

"Hello, Ms. Pendarvis. How are you finding our bustling metropolis?"

"Oh. Hi, Rory. Everybody has been very nice so far."

"But you would be having a better time if your husband was with you?"

Kim smiled and shrugged.

Rory asked, "Do you want me to call Mom and get his parole date?"

"Maybe in a little bit. But right now I am kind of on a… mission. A friend of mine knows Taylor Doose and I don't dare leave town without passing on her regards. Any idea where he might be now?"

"Did you try the market?"

"Yes."

"The Ice Cream Shoppe?"

"Yes, and his house."

"Well, you could always try Weston's."

"That another of his regular hangouts?"

"Not really, but that's where I was headed and maybe we'll see him there, or see someone there who knows where he is. Are you hungry?"

"Uh… a little."

"Then it's settled. You let me treat you to something-"

"You don't have to do that."

"Kim, I am feeling two things right now, hunger and guilt over how your honeymoon is going. If we go to Weston's and I can buy you something, I will be doubly assuaged."

If Ron was here I just know he would say, 'That's a school word.'

Rory took her sudden grin as acquiescence. "It's right this way."

As soon as they stepped through the door to the Weston Bakery, Kim made a soft moaning noise. "Oh man, does it smell good in here."

"They're not too bad to eat, either."

At the counter Rory ordered a coffee and three muffins. Kim thought it was rather presumptuous for her to decide what she would get but then Rory turned to her and asked, "What looks good to you?" To Kim's questioning look, she added, "Hey, it was the eyes and the appetite that I got from my mother."

"I think the first one you mentioned, Orange Spice, sounds great."

"Right. Coffee?"

"Just a water, please."

Rory turned back to the woman behind the counter. "I guess that's it." She handed over a few bills. "Oh, Mrs. Allison, have you seen Taylor around today?" When the woman shook her head, Rory gave Kim an apologetic smile and murmured, "We'll find him."

"Sure. Hey, I better grab us a table."

"The one in the corner looks good."

When they were both seated and their food laid out on the table, Rory said, "So, Kim, Ron is a chef."

"Yes, a very good one. Do you know he actually taught a cooking class while he was still in high school himself?"

"Impressive." Rory picked at the toppings on one of her muffins. "I've never had a man cook for me but I have to think that would be very… stimulating."

I will not blush. I will not blush. "Well, actually, he doesn't cook for me all that often." Make that never. "I mean, the last thing a person wants to do when he works in a restaurant all day is to come home and cook some more, right?"

"Right."

Kim took a big bite of her muffin and gave Rory a thumbs up sign.

"What about the beard?" asked Rory. "I never kissed a guy with a beard before."

"Umm… the beard is relatively new. But I have no complaints about it. I think it's a good look for him."

"Definitely. But I bet without it, he'd seem just like a kid again."

"Yeah, probably. Rory, is it just my imagination here or do we seem to be devoting a lot of attention to my love life?"

"I apologize, Kim. I guess I miss my boyfriend more than I thought."

"Did you two break up?"

"No. He had to take a job in London. I really don't know when I'm going to see him again."

"I'm sorry." Noticing the sudden sadness that came over her tablemate, Kim decided to offer her a distraction. "I actually have a friend in London right now."

"Oh? On a vacation?"

"No, attending a conference on the Internet."

"Brainy girl, huh?"

"Guy. And yes, he's pretty high up on the IQ register. I'd suggest he and your boyfriend look each other up, but frankly, my friend's people skills are kind of hit and miss."

"Sure."

"So, Rory, is it a long drive to Yale?"

"Not too bad. But I'm back home for the long weekend, trying to spend more time with Mom."

"She's having romantic troubles?"

"Yes, but how did you… "

"I ran into a neighbor of yours earlier today. She implied there was going to be a marriage but it didn't happen."

"That would be Babette. And she summed things up pretty well. I wonder if that's another reason I was sort of fixated on your situation. I wanted to know that someone, somewhere in the world, was happily in love."

I'm so not the person to give you that kind of reassurance. "It's okay, Rory. No problem. So, the man your mother almost married, a good guy?"

"Very. In a lot of ways, Luke has been more like a father to me than my own dad."

"Luke? Luke Danes?" Okay, could this town get any smaller? "I also met him today. Now I understand why he was so preoccupied."

"I suppose it's hitting him pretty hard, too. If you ever wanted a modern day example of Jack London's soul mates, it would have been Mom and Luke." She took another sip of her coffee. "So, you see now why I'm spending as much time as I can with my mother these days. But this is just a long weekend, not spring break, so come Tuesday morning I will… I will…"

She set the cup down with a thud. "Oh My God! That's where I know Ron from! Spring break in Florida! He was there, right?"

"Last year, yeah."

"I thought it was a couple of years ago, but maybe not. He had a hairless gerbil thing with him?"

"That would be Ron, for sure. I was there too, but I know you and I had not met before last night."

"No, you weren't there when I saw him. He was with two of my Chilton classmates, Madeline and Louise."

The teen smiled. "I hope they let him down easy."

Rory fingered the rim of her coffee cup and said nothing.

"Were they mean to him?" Kim asked, confused.

"Ah, probably we should let this drop."

"But what happened?"

"Kim… I don't think we - uh, you two were dating back then, right?"

"No, we weren't. We were on a family vacation together."

"Oh. Then I guess I can tell you they weren't mean to him. Far from it."

"You must be mistaken here. Ron plus college girls - two college girls - just doesn't compute."

All right, Kim. Think. You know it didn't happen like Rory believes it did. So what's the real sitch? It's true I didn't spend a lot of time with Ron on that trip. Drakken and Shego showed up and they had to be smacked down. And then there was all that bonding I did with Nana. Could this explain that last night in Florida when Ron was really late in getting back to the hotel? He acted very strange, but every time I asked him what was up, he just kept changing the subject.

"Wha- what were the names of those two girls again?"

"Louise and Madeline."

"Pretty?"

"And prettier."

"You definitely saw Ron together with them?"

"Well, together as in sitting at the same table in a restaurant."

"And?"

"And then walking into their motel room."

"What about after that?"

"Kim, uh… this wasn't an Eyes Wide Shut moment for me."

"Okay."

"But I know what they told me the next time we met."

The interior of the bakery suddenly became a watery blur and Kim had to force words out of a very tight throat. "I think I'm going to go now."

Rory reached across the table to lay a hand on her arm. "Kim, wait. I know I have really messed up here and you probably want to put a lot of distance between us, but I can tell you from bitter personal experience that this town may be small, but you won't find a spot that offers any real privacy for several blocks."

Kim lowered herself back on to her chair. "Napkin, please."

She laid the glasses on the table and dabbed at her eyes. "I'm sorry, my emotions have been so totally whacked these last few weeks."

"Of course," Rory said sympathetically.

"But this, what I'm feeling now, isn't just exaggerated emotions. It makes no sense at all. We're supposed to be friends. There are boundaries between friends. Territories you don't cross into, topics you don't dwell on because they don't mean anything to the friendship."

"The friendship you two had before things got serious?"

"Right. Before."

"How far back does that friendship go?"

"Preschool."

"That's amazing. I thought that kind of thing only happened on TV."

"Yeah, and you know, back in second grade, I'm the one who explained the facts of life to him. Not his parents, me."

"Uh huh."

Kim took a deep breath. "Okay, all better. Wigging session is officially over."

"All right. What do you want to do now?"

"Maybe another round of Taylor hunting?"

"Sure, and then?"

"And then I sit down and have a little talk with that husband of mine."


(More Authors' Notes: Continuing from the end of Chapter One…

The Gallifrey Virus mentioned so briefly in this chapter is named by me but was created by Russell T. Davies. It will play a significant role in a Kim Possible fan fic I hope to write someday.

All of the characters and concepts borrowed by me for use in this story are used without permission of the respective copyright holders but admiration rather than financial gain is the motivation.)