Rachel had only been able to trust her own emotions. With so many people telling her untrue things for 'her own good', she'd decided long ago that no matter what people wanted her to believe, she'd go her own way. That's how she stayed strong. That's how she stayed being Rachel Berry.

She'd loved Santana. Fiercely. With a passion she'd sometimes worried could easily explode and leave them in pieces. But even when they were good, there was too much fire, too much vibrating under the surface.

She'd loved Santana. But they'd needed to break up. They'd needed to save themselves from each other.

And Quinn had come into her life. Sweet, strong, completely ready to be everything Rachel needed, she'd filled the holes and provided new foundation for Rachel to discover who she was without Santana. No matter if they had moved too fast, Rachel believed in herself. So she'd let Quinn in, she'd let the love fill her.

And she'd let herself talk herself into marrying her.

Because she knew Santana would let her go. Just they way she'd let her go.

Santana would be supportive, if not happy. Santana wouldn't be a problem.

Santana…

Santana would stare at her with eyes full of betrayal, naked pain and heartache sagging her body. Santana would make Rachel explain herself, barely a second away from touching her and breaking into another million pieces.

Santana would make Rachel's heart pound like it hadn't ever done.


If Santana thought she couldn't breathe in the choir room, here, standing in front of Rachel, so far away and too close, her chest was practically cotton. A vice around her heart, her mind full of nothing but the girl staring helplessly at her, Santana had no idea what was going on.

Rachel. Was getting married.

The girl she'd held not even ten weeks ago. The girl she'd watched come undone under her hands, the one who'd wrapped herself into Santana's arms both on the days she'd admitted her love and handed her love back to her.

Rachel.

Santana took a step back. "No," she forced out, trying to hold her head up high, "There's nothing you can say, Rachel. It's obvious." Her voice dying, she took another step back. However, as she turned on her heel, needing to get away, needing to get away from Rachel and the engagement ring on her finger, Rachel's hand caught hers.

"Wait," Rachel whispered, fingers tightening as Santana tried to tug away; "Wait," she repeated, her voice splintering as she pulled Santana around, "Santana. Please."

Rachel's hand was hot, icy cold, painful. Staring at her, dying from the look on her face she'd seen the last time Rachel had kissed her goodbye, Santana didn't know who she was looking at anymore. "I'm not yours," she whispered, sliding her hand away, "I don't need to wait for you."

Her smile cracked on her face, her words dead in her own ears, but she still made sure Rachel heard her as she walked away from the girl who'd torn her heart out, "Like you didn't wait for me."