Married Life
Year One, Chapter Two: Secrets and Worries
Chase's Point of View
I looked at Allison, who was sleeping peacefully on the bed. I'd had another nightmare, so I was wide-awake. I tried not to disturb her, as I grabbed my book, and got out of bed. I sat on the couch, and read for a while. Then, I began thinking about all the things that Allison has to worry about by being married to me. My asthma, my allergies, our jobs, alcoholism, abusiveness. I began to worry if she thought I was worth it. I closed my book, and began to think of my mother.
Robert Chase's 14- year old Point of View
I walked into Mum's bedroom, where she was passed out on the bed. She had a large dress-shirt on. Probably Dad's, I guessed. She wasn't wearing any pants, so you could see straight to her knickers. Her blonde hair was a mess, all scraggily. I frowned, and ran to her. I checked her pulse, and her breathing. She had a pulse, and her breathing was consistent. She was still alive, thank Heavens. Suddenly, Mum's arm grabbed me. Her red-rimmed green eyes shined up at me.
'What the hell are you doing in here?' she asked.
Her eyes and tone of voice were slurred and full of rage. I tried to hide the bottle I'd grabbed off her nightstand. She slapped me, hard. I could feel the sting.
'Mummy, I was trying to help you.' I said, biting my lip.
To hide the tears. 'Get away. I can't stand the sight of you.' She slurred.
I ran to my room, and locked the door. I cried as soon as I shut it. Tears were running hot down my face. Must be strong, I told myself. She didn't mean it, I thought. I hit my head on the pillow, and everything went dark.
I shivered, as I tried to fight off this memory. I curled into a ball on our soft couch, and sobbed. I didn't want to remember this; I don't want to remember this. Let me forget, I prayed silently. I cried even more as I thought of Allison, and how she didn't know everything about our history.
Cameron's Point of View
I walked in the living room, where my husband was crying on the couch. I immediately felt that choking feeling I normally got around crying people. But, it was smothered by my love for Robert. Any doubts I had about my love for him vanished. I walked over to him, and sat down. I placed a shaking hand on his back.
'Rob? Honey? What's the matter?'
He grabbed my hand, and looked up. He was still crying, but had tried to calm himself. I smiled wanly, as I took in his tear-streaked face. And saw that secret scar that was hidden by his bangs. I fingered it, and he shook again. I frowned, and wrapped my arms around him. He was so scared. I didn't know what to do.
'Rob? What's wrong? Tell me.' I said, trying to compose my voice, into its usual calm tone.
'Just had a nightmare. That's all.' He said, his eyes drifting away. The telltale sign of Robert Chase telling a lie. I arched a blonde brow, and drilled my periwinkle eyes into his blue-green ones.
'Was thinking about my mother. That's all.' He mumbled.
I fought tears, as I recalled what Robert had told me about her. Cold, distant, and a drunk. He shivered, as he sobbed some more.
'Robert, talking about it helps, you know.' I said, kissing his temple.
'She…used to…beat me. A lot. That's how I got this scar, Allison.' He whispered. I fought back even more tears, realizing that he'd been shouldering this burden for a long time. I hugged him, and we cried together.
No more secrets. That's our new rule. No more secrets.
I just need to tell him mine. It's a secret that would change our lives forever.
'Robert. I need to tell you something.' I said, after we'd calmed down. We had been watching our wedding video, when I finally broke the silence.
He turned to me. 'Yeah?' He smiled at me, and I smiled back.
'I'm pregnant.'
Chase's Point of View
Shock. Complete and utter shock. The plan was we were going to wait until our first anniversary before we even thought about babies. And here we are, four months into our marriage, and our freedom is dead. Before it even got to really begin. It's my fault. This wasn't supposed to happen. I'm not saying I didn't ever want to become a father; I just wanted to wait a while. I just worry that I have too much of my father in me, and I'll run when things get tough. I did, in mercenary school. Who's to say I wouldn't run now? Then again, I was young. Stupid, and scared. Now I'm old, stupid and scared. Not much has changed. But, Allison looks so peaceful.
'How long have you known?' I asked.
'Three weeks. I have taken four pregnancy tests, and they were all positive. All of them.' She said, looking down at the floor.
I held her, and for what seemed like the hundredth time that evening, I cried.
From fear, happiness, anger, insanity? I had no clue. I just knew that this baby was both of us. Not just me, not just Allison. The both of us combined.
Somehow...we'd make this happen. Somehow. We had to. For the sake of the kid.
