Author's Introduction: This story contains mention of self-harm (self-injury and attempted suicide), depression, PTSD and other material which may be considered distressing. (Such as rape, slash and other sexual themes.) This chapter contains strong language. (I drop the f-bomb, folks.) I don't own characters or material or just about anything. If any of this sounds like it may distress or trigger you, please do not read or proceed with caution.
Erik thanked the powers-that-be when the car ride to Jane's trailer finally ended. He was positive that there was nothing in the world more awkward than being stuck in a car with two sullen Asgardians. Normally, you could try and break the silence, but, well when the grumpy parties could break you, it made you more inclined to give in to the solemn mood.
The car barely stopped, Thor had leapt from the passenger seat and was banging on the door before Erik had even taken his seat belt off. "Jane! Jane Foster! It is Thor! I have urgent matters which I must discuss with you! Jane! Would it be acceptable if I removed the door? I must speak with you now!"
Presumably not too keen on having her door removed, Jane hurried and flung the door open. "Thor!" she shouted as she jumped into his arms with a broad smile.
Her smile was matched with Thor's own as he held her tight, but gently and kissed the top of her hair. "Jane! I am so glad to see you!" He paused for a moment, just to stare at the brown-haired maiden in his arms.
"But how could you possibly have gotten here without the Einstein-Rosen bridge?" she asked in surprise as she let herself down from the warrior's arms.
Thor's eyes shot wide immediately, he rushed back to the car and threw open the back seat. Watching the scene Erik wondered with slight irritation how he could be so rough with the poor worn door, but so gentle with his fellow warrior who was already protected by bright green armor.
"Let us go inside for now." Thor suggested belatedly, as he was already leading the other man inside by the hand.
Looking back and forth between the two armored figures, Jane and Erik both looked puzzled, but with a shrug followed them inside the small trailer.
~~~~~~~~~~(scene change)~~~~~~~~~~
After Thor had lead the silent man to lie down on Jane's bed in the back of the residence and had searched through the small room for a few minutes, he finally closed the door and joined Jane and Erik at the small table where they were less-than patiently waiting.
"Thor, don't you think it's high time you tell me who exactly is lying on my bed? And why you just searched through all of my drawers? And how you could get here when the Einstein-Rosen bridge has been gone for a month?" Jane questioned as she leaned across the table to try to stare into the blue-eyes which were staring intently at the table.
"He is my little brother – Loki. He is a talented magician and can travel without the bifrost." Thor replied as he cleared his throat, unsure how to explain his situation.
"Your brother? Loki? The one who tried to kill you? And everyone around you? That brother? And you put him in Jane's bed?" Erik shouted- fairly jumping to his feet.
"Thor? What is this about? Is this the brother who you had to return to Asgard to fight? Why would you bring him to earth? To my trailer?" Jane asked in astonishment as she glanced quickly between the two men.
Thor finally looked up from the table which he had been examining closely. "Yes, that brother. My only brother. I had to bring him here to Midgard. He is unwell and there is no one on Asgard who knows how to help him…or if there is my father does not wish for it to become a public scandal. He forbade me to ask for assistance from the palace healers." Thor paused for a moment as heat gathered in his blue eyes before he continued in a venom-filled voice, "My father told me that, 'Palace healers are not trained in such matters because warriors do not act in such a way.' As if insulting my brother's honor was going to help anything."
Jane motioned for Erik to sit back down and turned to Thor, "What do you mean he's unwell? Is he sick or injured or…..?" she asked quietly before trailing off, unsure of how to ask in a way Thor would understand.
Thor was unable to make eye contact with either Jane or Erik, but he managed to speak in an unsteady voice, "I do not know how Midgardian view such matters, but on Asgard certain acts are considered…cowardly…dishonorable. My brother is neither. But… He is not himself. He is tormented. He needs help…." Here Thor paused and Jane reached for his hand and squeezed it encouragingly. Closing his eyes, Thor continued, "Loki…. Tried to…kill himself…. I rescued him, but ever since that night he has been… strange. Silent… Sometimes, I do not think he recognizes me. The only time he has acted of his own accord… was to injure himself."
"So, he's….depressed?" Jane asked as she gently drew circles on Thor's hand with her fingers.
Thor drew his hand back and asked in a guarded voice, "Is that a dishonorable term among your people?"
"No! No, of course not, Thor. There's no dishonor in it. It just means that they're sick and need someone to help them. There's no more shame in it than any other medical problem." Jane quickly reassured the warrior who looked as if he might throw the table if she had answered in the affirmative.
Thor looked to Erik for confirmation.
"Thor… My father was a soldier…. An earth version of your Asgardian warriors and he suffered from such a problem - an illness in the mind. My father was brave and good and if any man dared tell me otherwise, well…. " he trailed off, but the threat was clearly implied.
Thor nodded and sighed. "It is as you say- an illness of the mind. But my father did not understand that. He remembers the old traditions which say that it is only honorable for a warrior to fall in battle and refuses to see the truth in front of him. My mother insisted we come here to seek for someone who could help my brother and so I was hopeful that we could stay with you, Jane."
Jane smiled weakly. "Of course, Thor. You can stay here- both of you."
~~~~~~~~~~(scene change)~~~~~~~~~~
Thor couldn't sleep. Partly because he was worried about his brother trying to sleep in a strange place and partly because he was plagued with guilt due to the fact he had not bade farewell to the Warriors Three, nor to Sif. He had considered it, but quite frankly he had no desire to see them until they could apologize for their words. He concentrated on the memory of those words until the guilt and longing to see his companions was replaced by a burning anger.
"Thor, you can't let that imp put this over on you!" Volstagg had shouted.
"It's another of his tricks." Hogun had stated matter-of-factly.
"I know it's your brother, but he's incapable of honesty. You can't trust a word he says." Fandral had stated sadly as he placed a hand on Thor's shoulder in a misguided attempt at comforting the larger man.
Sif had been the worst. Her eyes had been full of pity as she had whispered to Thor once the Warriors Three had given up their attempts at persuading the prince. "Thor, do not throw away your relationship with your father for Loki. He has betrayed both of you for his own selfish gain and he will use your selflessness to get away with it, if you let him."
Lying on the bed, Thor stared at the ceiling – fuming. "He is my brother. Perhaps, it is a title of which others can forget the worth, but I cannot. He needs me. I must protect him. I cannot let him down now."
When others looked at Loki, they saw a powerful magician – a schemer, a manipulator, a mastermind.
Thor still saw a scrawny little boy – who was already his own worst critic.
~~~~~~~~~~(scene change)~~~~~~~~~~
The next day, Darcy came over and was introduced to Loki whom she seemed to immediately take a liking to. Jane's whispered attempts to assure her that Loki was, "not a lost puppy" and to "stop calling him that ridiculous pet name" were met with absolutely no change in her behavior.
She assured Thor and Jane that she would "absolutely love to introduce Loki-kiki to tv" and so they had been free to step outside the trailer to browse through the books which Erik had brought from the local library on mental health.
Sitting on one of the green lawn chairs which the older man had brought from a friend's house, they began searching through the books. Thor had picked up one titled Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders and had spent a good ten minutes searching through the material before throwing it down and picking up another book. He repeated this pattern another three times before throwing the last book at Erik's car.
"None of these books have directions for healing!" he shouted.
"Directions for healing?" Jane asked, slightly confused.
"Yes! Such as those for treating a burn. First, place the burn in cool water. Next, take a bandage…."
Jane raised a hand to interrupt, but was distracted by Darcy running out of the trailer.
"Thor! Jane! Anybody! We need help! Kiki started freaking the fuck out!" she shouted and waved her hand for everyone to follow her inside.
Thor was inside the trailer in a flash and found Loki in a corner; knees huddled to his chest, rocking back and forth. He leaned down to pick his brother off the floor which resulted in Loki starting to claw at his brother's face and neck. "Loki! Brother! It is alright. I will not harm you. Brother, calm yourself!" It took a few moments, but his words finally seemed to get to Loki who went limp in his arms before starting to cry on his brother's shoulder. "No more…." he whispered.
Perhaps it was a horrible reaction, but this was a glimmer of hope in Thor's mind – the first words his brother had uttered completely unprompted since the incident. "No more what, brother?" he asked carrying him to the couch.
Loki pointed toward the television which had smoke coming out of the broken screen.
~~~~~~~~~~(scene change)~~~~~~~~~~
With Erik keeping an eye on Loki, whom both Jane and Darcy had assured that the television would not be working anytime soon; Thor joined the women outside to demand to know what the "demon box" had done to his brother.
"Thor, this wasn't Darcy's fault…." Jane began as she stood between the two.
"What did that machine do?" Thor demanded.
"It reminded him of something." Darcy interjected.
"Of what?" Thor questioned, fairly shouting in frustration.
Jane sighed. "Thor…. We think Loki was raped…"
Author's Note: So, I hope that everyone is enjoying themselves. I welcome reviews, alert requests, favorites and any other form of feedback which you can think of. I love criticism! How can I know if I'm botching something up, unless you point at it so I can double-check? Anyway, reviews are my favorite and I hope ya'll are liking this ride. (Also, questions are welcome in reviews. I will answer them ASAP.)
