Yo! This is kind of a short one, inspired by me doing gardening the other day and having to deal with stupid spiny weeds from the deep underworld. It's more about Deidara making lemonade, so that's why the chapter is titled 'Lemonade'. The real gardening chapter will come later. Deidara is one of my favorite characters, so I'm dedicating this chapter to him and his artistic cuteness. Yay Deidara! I'm also taking suggestions. I already have two and they'll be written very soon! Yay me!

EDIT: For the newly-edited chapters, I'm not putting the remaining Akatsuki in YET. Why? Because I'm lazy. :p You'll see them soon.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did, Deidara would come up to random characters and give them a lovely glass of Deidara-style lemonade!


If there was one thing the Akatsuki hated the most, it was when Pain got "brilliant" ideas that forced them all to do something very stupid against their will. Everyone knew that the Akatsuki were all just volunteers. They could do whatever they wanted and when they were tired of it, they just left their ring with Pain and walked off to do whatever they pleased (under the secret threat of death, of course). Yet, they still did everything he told them to do without question, though they could easily beat him until his body parts were in abnormal places as far as they were concerned. There was no logic in the organization.

One such example of this logic was when Pain came into the hideout almost spastically since he nearly ran over Deidara. "I have the best idea ever!"

Everyone looked down and Sasori got his irritable expression on. "Here we go again…"

Pain's Rinnegan eyes became very proud. "I have decided that we should turn the front of this hideout into the best garden ever!"

Deidara looked up in fear, his one eye wide. "You're kidding me, un."

"No, I'm not."

Itachi blinked unemotionally, as usual. "Pain-sama, we don't have a front yard. If you've forgotten, this hideout is a cave in the proverbial middle of nowhere. The only thing close to a garden that we have is a big patch of dirt, a few trees, and more weeds than imaginable."

Pain looked back at Itachi with a similar expression. "We have morning glories."

"You sicken me."

They all heard a whimper come from Deidara and turned to see him sitting on the ground in a fetal position, rocking back and forth miserably. They turned to Sasori and Kisame blinked at him. "What's wrong with him?"

Sasori shook his head. "He had a bad experience with a patch of those spiny weeds a few months ago. He tried pulling some but didn't realize he was allergic to them and got a really bad allergic reaction. He was in the infirmary for a week and wouldn't go outside for two months. He'll never get near another one ever again."

Pain sighed and began walking to his office-thing (which was just a big stone table, a chair, and a very nice pen he got from the eye doctor's office). "He's excused from garden work. He'll just make lemonade for everyone."

Deidara perked up when he heard that and grinned. "I can do that, un!"

Itachi shook his head and got up to go to his and Kisame's room. Zetsu watched him with half-interest. "Where are you going?" his white half said.

"To my room… I'm not participating in something so stupid."

The black half of Zetsu grinned maliciously. "So the great Itachi Uchiha can't handle a D-Ranked mission, huh?"

Itachi stopped in his tracks and turned around slowly. Sasori, Deidara, and Kisame turned away. If there was one thing they learned about Itachi that Zetsu apparently hadn't learned yet, it was never to tell Itachi that he can't handle something. It's insulting an Uchiha, and that's not healthy. Itachi's Sharingan eyes turned fiery. "What did you just say?"

"I said, you can't handle a D-Ranked mission!"

In a split second…not even that, Zetsu was on the other side of the room, upside down, with a huge dent on his plant-head and a white half yelling at a black half. "You idiot! You should know better than to tell him that he can't do something!"

"Well sorry!"

Out of nowhere, Itachi got his hat and put it on, then marched outside. He was going to do the gardening work, even if his dignity depended on it. No one told Itachi Uchiha that he can't garden. Kisame gulped and followed him, then Sasori, then Zetsu (reluctantly), and finally Pain. Deidara ran off to the kitchen to begin his lemonade making duties.


The five gardened for several hours under the hot sun with only their hats and oversized cloaks protecting them. Pain was still all shadowy and so on and Itachi was the only one who wasn't getting some sort of tan. (In fact, Kisame's skin was getting very toasty, Sasori was getting burn marks since he's a puppet, Zetsu was starting to wilt, and everyone swore that they were starting to see Pain's actual skin.)

Deidara ran in and out, bringing cups of lemonade out and having a great time. He was leaping around the garden-to-be like an idiot. That is, until he saw one of those spiny weeds, then he panicked and ran back inside and didn't come out for a whole hour.

By the sixth hour of gardening, you could tell who was planting where. Itachi's part was all neat and organized, Kisame's was overflowing with water and he dug everything up with the Samehada, even going as far as chopping the weeds up with it. Zetsu's was growing in abundance, Sasori's was all mismatched since he was from the middle of the desert and the only plants he ever saw were tumbleweeds, and Pain's was just kind of there, though they could tell he had planted Deadly Nightshade somewhere in there.

At the end of the day, they decided to go in. Everyone was hot, sweaty, and tired. Itachi went to go take a shower first because he would kill anyone who got there before he did. Everyone else went to go take a nap, except Sasori. He stayed in the dining room to plan a new puppet and talk to Deidara. "That was good lemonade Deidara. How did you know how to make it?"

"I don't. This was my first time making it, un."

"But we didn't have any directions."

"I know that too. I did everything just by how I thought it looked and what people told me about it, un."

Sasori looked up thoughtfully and tilted his head. "…Deidara… I just realized something. We never had any lemons around here."

"I know, un."

"What did you use?"

"I peed in a cup and added a lot of sugar. Why do you think it took me so long to bring you guys lemonade, un? I had to drink a lot of water!"

In the end, the rest of the night was spent having to listen to Sasori throw up and Deidara's screams as Itachi tortured him with a spiny weed. It was a very productive day.