Next chapter now, I'm going to try and update at least once a day! It made me really happy that people like this ^.^
And this chapter may seem a bit RetasuxRyou-ish...but it kinda had to, ah well, hopefully she'll soon be where she belongs, with Pai!
A few drops of light rain dripped from the sky, making little dark dots on the otherwise dry ground.
"Aww, I'm gonna get soaked now!" Ichigo complained loudly. "I wish I'd brought an umbrella with me, Minto, please can I share yours, please?!"
"No, you can't." Minto replied, twirling her navy blue umbrella above her head. "You should have brought your own."
"I slept in, I didn't have time to get it!" Ichigo shouted back, covering her head with her arms in a vain attempt to protect herself from the falling droplets .
"I wonder who's fault that was." Minto said sarcastically, pulling her umbrella away from Ichigo, who was trying to force her way underneath it.
"But the rain is FUN na no da!!" Purin yelled back at them as she practically bounced along the path several metres ahead of the others.
While the Minto and Ichigo argued, and Purin skipped through the piles of yellow and brown leaves, Zakuro and Retasu said nothing, Zakuro, because she never said much anyway, and Retasu because she was thinking.
Perhaps she should go and see the leaves, they were so pretty colors this time of year, it would be great to go by the park and have a look at them all.
No, she was just making excuses, she had too stay, this time she would do it.
I'll do it tomorrow...She thought, Perhaps then I'll be more ready... No, she'd been saying that to herself for nearly two weeks, this time she would do it. Clutching the side of her bag tightly, she turned back towards the café doors. If she didn't do it soon then she never would, it was probably best to just get it over with.
"Retasu? Aren't you coming?" Ichigo called back to her, having given up her efforts to get under the shelter of Minto's umbrella.
"Um, I-I left something in the café!!" Retasu called back, blushing slightly. "I'll b-be out in a minute!"
"Shall we wait here for you then?" Ichigo asked, smiling.
"Oh, n-no, you go ahead!" Retasu said nervously as she walked quickly back into the café.
Well, now I have to do it...I suppose it's a good thing though, I'd of put this off forever otherwise, and I really do want Shirogane-san to know how I feel about him...Her face turned pink as she blushed.
"U-um, Akasaka-san? Where is Shirogane-san? I-I...want to talk to him..." She asked Keiichiro as he walked past carrying a stick of plates.
He smiled. "Yes, he's just upstairs."
"Okay, Th-thank you!" She almost shouted back before running up the staircase and almost tripping over several times before she reached the top step. The tip of her shoe caught on a piece of wood that stuck out, and she came crashing to the floor right in front of a door, which seconds later opened to reveal Ryou, standing there and looking down at her with a confused expression.
"Minto, do you think Retasu will actually tell Shirogane she likes him now?!" Ichigo asked excitedly once the café doors had closed again.
"Yay!!" Purin yelled, buried up to her waist in a massive pile of dead leaves. "Retasu onee-chan and Shirogane onii-chan will be married na no da!!" She flung her arms up in the air, scatting leaves across the pavement.
Ichigo sweatdropped. "Um, Purin, I don't think that will happen!"
"Why not?" she asked, looking sad. "You and Aoyama onii-chan will be married one day, so why not them too na no da??"
"Ichigo and Aoyama may not even get married." Zakuro said, speeding up slightly to walk next to the other three mews. "And to be honest, I doubt Retasu and Shirogane have much chance of being together at all."
"Onee-sama?"
"Its obvious he doesn't like her in that way Minto, I just hope that Retasu will be able to get over it when she finds that out."
None of the mews looked cheerful any more, even Purin, who seemed to only ever seem sad more a few seconds, looked upset. They all knew that Retasu's love for Ryou would never be returned, but still, it had been nice to hope that he would. What Zakuro said had reminded them that hope was all it really was.
"S-sorry!!" Retasu shouted, bending down with a cloth to wipe up the spilled tea. Keiichiro had brought some in only a few minutes earlier, and her hands had been shaking so badly that she had been unable to hold onto the cup.
"Don't worry, I'll clean it up later." said Ryou, putting down his own cup. "Just sit back down."
"O-okay." said Retasu, sounding more nervous than she had in her entire life. She sat back down at the small table, looking across it at Ryou.
"I-I n-need to tell you something..." she said, looking back down at the table.
"I know, but what is it?"
"I-I..." she was quiet for a few seconds before trying again. "I-I....that is, I w-well...um...I...." She stopped again, her face scarlet.
"Just spit it out, okay? Honestly, I don't understand how you can be so nervous all the time." he sipped his tea and stared at her with a mixture of confusion and curiosity.
He could be cold at times, but then, if Retasu disliked this, and wished he could act more caring, then she wouldn't love him for who he was...as far as she was concerned, it was his flaws that made him perfect. However little sense that seemed to make, she understood it.
"I..." Why was this so difficult for her to do? It seemed so simple for the characters in books that she'd read. She didn't even know why she couldn't say it, in books it was always because the characters feared rejection, wasn't that everyone's reason? She knew that there was plenty of chance he wouldn't like her back, so why, why did she have to be so terrified of saying this??
Looking back up again, her eyes met his, and somehow, that gave her the strength to talk.
"Shirogane-san, I have been putting this off for a long time now...but really, I know that I can't keep it to myself forever, I always knew you'd have to find out sooner or later...so I'm going to say it know...Shirogane-san...I...love you."
Three words, three, small, simple words. Yet they had so much power in this world, even the power to kill, or save a persons life. As she thought this, Retasu continued to look at Ryou, wondering what his response would be.
Ryou put down his cup, and looked at the blushing girl in front of him, his expression serious.
"Retasu...I think that you are a brilliant person, you are clever, more so than any of the others, you are kind, and you are strong. You are also beautiful. There are plenty of reasons that I should love you also, but...well...I don't. To put it simply." He frowned, and looked back at his tea. "And...if that's all you have to say, then, would you mind leaving?"
Staring for a few seconds, Retasu nodded.
"Y-yes, Shirogane-san...I w-will go now..." She stood up quickly and turned away, her vision beginning to blur as her eyes filled with tears. She felt stupid for crying, she shouldn't, she knew that he might reject her, so why did it hurt so much?
Not wanting to seem like she was overreacting, she walked towards the door at what she very much hoped was a normal speed, and pulled it open. Once she was out she ran down the stairs, almost falling down head first as tears clouded her vision. She ran as fast as she could through the café, no noticing Keiichiro, who stared at her in complete confusion, and then out of the pink front doors into the cold autumn air.
After that she stopped running, knowing that if she did she would fall and hurt herself, but continued to walk as fast as she could towards the park. As she walked, she stopped thinking about what Ryou had said, or about anything at all really, and just let her feet carry her across the grass towards the little stream that ran through the field. She'd stopped crying by now, but her eyes were still watery.
She came to a spot hidden by trees, she came here to think or read sometimes, knowing that she wouldn't be disturbed. But now it was not just peace she wanted, she wanted to not be seen by anyone, so she could think over what had happened in peace.
Sitting cross legged on the wet grass, she replayed the conversation in her mind, and tried her best not to cry. But, whenever someone tries to hold back their tears, it never seems to work, and tiny droplets of salty water trickled down her face.
I still love you Ryou...though...I just wish now that I didn't...
Only minutes after thinking this, Retasu's eyes closed and her mind went blank, tired from crying, and lulled to sleep by the sound of her own sobs.
I felt so sorry for Retasu while writing this, well, hopefully next chapter should be a little more cheerful.
