A/N: Phew! That was kinda tricky. Keeping Mello and Near in character do not appear to be one of my fortes. XD Anyways, enjoy and forgive me for the slow update.
Disclaimer: Don't own DeathNote. If I did, L wouldn't of died, simple as that. XD
Mello was already halfway down the corridor when Near closed the door behind him.
Mello was having a quarrel with himself. Part of him was telling him to go, run away, leave these genius losers behind and start his own life, start his own investigation on Kira and catch him, avenging L in the most perfect way possible. But the other half of him was reminding him of Near, the things he said, the way he said them...
'He wants to work with me? He doesn't hate me? And what was with him showing actual emotions over what I asked him? He's never done anything like that before. This is fucked up. I have to think about this. Yeah, L would've. Speaking of which, what the fuck happened back there? I saw L, he was right there, telling to me to "Make the right decision". What is it? What's the right-'
"Mello...?" Mello gasped when he realized he'd actually stopped walking. The two boys were still in the corridor of Rodger's office. Near was standing just outside the door of Roger's office, which was quite far away from Mello.
Normally, Mello would have ignored the pale boy, maybe even told Near to piss off. But then he remembered Near's eyes, the edge in his voice. Mello didn't suppress a shiver this time. Mello didn't even turn around to look at his supposed rival. "Yes, Near?" Mello himself was surprised to hear his voice so calm, so collected, not a hint of sneer was in it.
Near couldn't keep the tiny smile off his face, his dead-looking eyes lit up happily, full of life. Mello was paying attention to him....
"I just wanted to thank you..." Near carefully placed his jigsaw on ground against a wall silently. When Near stood up again, Mello was still there, still with his back turned to him.
"Why?" Mello scowled. 'Stupid Near, always so stupidly weird.'
"For thinking about this." Near clarified vaguely
"What's that meant to mean?" Mello immediately took the reply as an insult.
"..." Silence....
"Near?" 'God, don't tell me he's gonna give me his silent treatment now, little prat.'
Mello nearly yelped in surprise when he felt a pair of small, shaking hands suddenly grab at his black shirt and something small and round buried itself in between his shoulder blades. Mello spun round to see Near there. The albino quickly latched himself to front of Mello instead, gripping tightly onto the thick ebony fabric of Mellos shirt and burying his face into the blonds chest.
Mello simply watched this, his evening-sky-coloured eyes wide, too shocked to move. 'What the hell? Is this a delayed reaction to Ls death?' Mellos eyes glazed over at the thought of his heroes death. But only for a second, because Near started to speak.
"Don't leave Mello. Please, don't...."
'...Wha?'
Mello looked down at the smaller boy incredulously. "Near... I'm not going anywhere." Mello tried to pull Near off of him.
Nears grip simply tightened impossibly more, refusing to budge, "If you do leave, nothing good will happen. Please stay, Mello. Don't leave. Please."
Near didn't notice the tears welling from his eyes and dampening Mello's shirt until it was too late. Years of hidden, bottled-up emotions finally spilled from Near's glistening eyes.
It felt wonderful yet awful at the same time for Near, wonderful to be normal, to have emotions, to just be human. Awful to be doing this into the chest of a person who wouldn't hesitate to break his nose and maybe a few other bones while he was at it.
Near almost sobbed aloud in relief when Mello didn't even try to pull away when his tears had soaked through the fabric and clung to Mello's skin on the other side of the fabric.
"Near, what the hell has gotten into you? My shirt.... Near? Why are you crying?"
Mello said this not at all unkindly, but soothingly. Before he knew what he was doing, his arms wrapped around Nears frail, shivering body.
'Jesus... he's shivering,' Mello thought, 'he must be cold or something. Wait, what the hell? Why am I even concerned about this... this brat? I hate him. What the hell are my arms doing around him?'
Mello wanted to pull them away, push Near off him, maybe punch him for good measure, then leave Whammy's. That would upset Near, Mello thought evilly, he finally found something to break the boy. But Mello also didn't want to.... Near interrupted his quarrelling mind abruptly.
"Mello, I'm scared." He whispered into the older boys now damp shirt.
'God, why do I not wanna thump him?' Mello thought. "Of what Near?" he asked quietly.
"Of losing you." Near said, emotion was overflowing him now, he couldn't stop, he'd dug too deep to stop. He pressed his face harder into Mello's chest, making the older boy gasp slightly. Mello froze in shock, subconsciously tightening his grip on Near.
'Why is Near still alive and breathing?' That hateful voice hissed in Mello's head. He pushed it away for now, it was quite frankly starting to irritate him. Mello then intentionally tightened his hold of Near. The snowy-haired boy immediately reacted by loosening his grip slightly and shivering a little less.
Mello never thought this would ever happen, but Mello liked doing this, he liked comforting Near, Mello liked comforting his arch-rival. What the hell was this? What the hell was going on?
That's when Mello had an epiphany.
He and Near weren't rivals. Mello simply had an irrational hate towards the albino boy. Near had never done anything directly aggressive or insulting to Mello. Even after Mello would break his toys or somehow embarrass him, the only thing Near ever did was stare at Mello the whole time. When Mello would finish, their eyes would lock for a split second, hateful glee in Mello's azure ones, nothing in Nears graphite-coloured ones.
Mello suddenly realized just then that Nears eyes weren't empty of emotion, there was one emotion that radiated so obviously from the boys eyes you wouldn't notice it unless you thought about it as hard as Mello just had. The only problem was, Mello didn't know what emotion it was.
The blond chocoholic actually had to remind himself why he hated Near so much. Why did he hate such a vulnerable, weak, placid boy? How could he hate Near now that the white-haired genius had practically confessed his rather uncomprehending adoration for him? Oh yeah, Near was shining, golden number one, and Mello was only silver number two. But now, they both could be number one. They could both be L, the three greatest detectives in the world. Mello wondered that if he had known that fact from the beginning, would he of hated Near? Maybe they could of been friends, best friends.
It could of been the three of us, Matt, Near and I, Mello thought. A smile graced his features when his thoughts turned his red-headed best friend, knowing he would never leave his gamer's side, not for anything.
'Just wait until I tell him about this.' Mello thought. The smile suddenly dissipated when Mello realized he'd been wrong all these years, he'd been unfair, selfish, arrogant...
Mello, frowned. Summarizing his epiphany to a single phrase. I've been an ignorant bastard, all these years.
"My God." Mello whispered to himself in awe.
"Mello, I'm sorry to ask you this. But, could you.... carry me to my room. My legs.... they can barely keep me up right now." As if to prove his point, Near leaned all of his weight into Mello's arms and his knees buckled violently.
Near would have fallen to the floor if Mello hadn't instinctively tightened his grip around the now weak boy. Easily, Mello scooped Near up into his arms and carried him bridal style. Near gasped as his feet were swung off the ground by an arm under his knee, but immediately settled there almost happily in Mello's arms and moved his face up to the crook of Mello's neck and shoulder.
Near was frightfully light, in Mello's opinion. He could feel a majority of the boys bones through his pallid skin and pyjamas. Mello had actually rarely seen the other boy eat, and when he did, it was very little.
Mello tensed slightly at the feeling of Near's warm breath, his nose, his lips on his bare skin. Mello mentally shrugged the matter away reluctantly. Near was kinda the social retard of the orphanage anyway. The little albino probably had no idea just how intimate he was being.
"Near?"
"...Yes?" Near's voice was slightly muffled by Mello's skin. The colourless boys surprisingly hot breath made Mello's skin tingle with an unfamiliar feeling.
"Why'd you nearly fall?"
There was an awkward pause and Mello noticed that the albino boys hands were shaking, shaking with effort, but the grip never loosened, in fact, it seemed to get tighter by the second, as if Near was afraid Mello would suddenly disappear in a puff of smoke. Mello subconsciously tightened his hold on Near reassuringly.
"I'm very tired." The white haired boy finally answered.
"Why? When's the last time you slept?" Mello asked as he turned around and started to walk down the corridor again, towards the dorm rooms. The blond scowled at how motherly he probably sounded.
"I've never slept well, a bit like...." Near stopped, remembering why this was all happening, "But to answer your question, the last time I slept was two days ago."
Mello almost dropped Near in horror, instead, Mello just stopped walking, they were already at the corridor that Nears room was in as it was located close to Rodger's office.
"What?! What the hell possessed to keep you awake for so long?" Mello tried to look down at the boys face and but couldn't see it as it was pressed against Mello's neck. Mello shivered when pale eyelashes tickled his skin slightly as Near blinked every now and then.
Near didn't answer, he couldn't, because he didn't know why he hadn't slept at all for over 42 hours. Despite Near's best efforts, his mind had never succumbed to sleep. His eyes would only droop, but never fully close, except to blink slowly and wearily.
By now, Near had to make a huge effort to simply walk, and he had half ran today, to catch up with Mello in the corridor, to cling to him, to smell him, to look straight into his eyes, to adore him.
"I think..." The boy finally muttered, "It's because I sensed something bad had happened, or was going to happen. But..." Near couldn't continue, the knot in his throat was too much to bear, a sob escaped Near's lips and a new torrent of tears slid down his cheeks into Mello's neck.
"It's Ok Near, hush there." Mello managed to get one of his hands to reach Nears head and he stroked the boys snowy-white hair. Near's sobs subsided slightly, but the boys shivers resumed, worse than before.
Mello started to walk again. He was soon outside Near's door. Mello grunted as he put all Nears weight and his own on only one leg, using the other to kick open the door. The door swung open and banged against the door-stopper silently.
The locks for the dorm rooms in Whammy's house were weak, apparently it was a safety thing. Both Matt and Mello have used this fact to their advantages many times and were now an official pros at kicking open doors, it was a skill they were both proud of.
Mello nudged the door closed behind him with the heel of his shoe and stalked across the room to Near's bed, which was tucked into the farthest corner of the room. The distressed boy was still shivering and breathing shallow breaths.
Mello patted the boys head again to reassure him that he was still there. Mello knelt down at Near's bed and placed him on the quilts. When Mello tried to pull away, he was stopped by Near still gripping to his shirt desperately.
"Near, I have to go now, I'm sorry. We'll see each other tomorrow, I promise." 'God, I'm promising stuff to this guy now. This is getting weird.' Near tightened his grip on Mello's shirt even more and tugged weakly. His eyes were closed, he was so tired...
"Don't leave..." Mello reached out and stroked the boys hair comfortingly.
"Near, I-" Near pulled at the shirt impatiently.
"You can lie down beside me Mello. Please, stay." Mello was (of course) shocked by Near's sudden impatience. He sighed lightly.
"Alright, Near. Move over." The pale boy obeyed, pressing himself against the wall for the blond.
Mello clambered onto the bed and lay on his side so that he faced Near. For the too many-enth time that day, the two boy's eyes locked together, ash gray and sea blue, gray that shone with no longer hidden adoration, blue that shimmered with a new understanding.
Mello didn't notice, when one of Near's small hands realized its grip on his shirt and placed itself on his feminine-looking hips lightly.
"I thought something bad was going to happen to you." The blond's eyes widened at the small boy's statement.
"What do you mean?" The pale boy winced at the painful memories before answering.
"When I couldn't sleep. Something told me that something bad was going to happen to you."
Mello soothed the boy, brushing away the new tears that had formed in his eyes and cooing softly.
"It's Ok Near, I'm here, I'm Ok." 'This is downright stupid now, what are you doing?' The albino boy smiled weakly, it was a real smile. Mello's heart couldn't help but melt like the chocolate he was addicted to. 'Oh, right, he's fuckin' cute now? Snap out of it you twit!'
"Mello...." Near's voice was desperate and pleading, "Mello." The boy felt himself savouring the word like a temporary gift, and he wanted to do it again and again, "Mello." A shiver ran down his spine and his smile widened.
Mello simply allowed his orphanage name to be repeated by the young genius that lay beside him. He shut his own eyes and smiled.
This felt so right. Mello didn't want to question why, he didn't want to ruin this peace that had cooled his burning mind. The faint feeling of breath glided over his skin, warming it slightly.
'What the hell is going on? Did I miss something happening somewhere? What the fuck are you doing? Get the hell away from Near! He's... he's poisoned you! That's it!'
'.... Just shut up already, whoever you are.'
'Idiot, I'm you. I'm you when when you were freakin' sane!'
'Don't care. Just shut up. You're annoying me now.'
Simply because he felt like it, Mello moved his hand to place it on Near's soft-looking cheek. Mello stopped when Near spoke, his hand suspended in the air, halfway through its journey. The smile on Near's face disappeared
"Mello?" Said boy watched the other boy's lips move. Since when did they look so appealing?
"Yes, Near?" Near smiled again and Mello blushed at how seductive he'd just sounded. Where the hell did that come from?
"Mello, will you stay?" The blond froze at the question. His hand resumed it's journey to Near's cheek. When it gently touched the soft, velvety skin, Near's eyes snapped open. They bore right into Mello's almost as if he was looking into his soul. Mello had to tell the truth.
"I don't know, Near. I don't know." The pale boy said nothing, only stared pleadingly into Mello's eyes.
Mello wondered what had triggered this sudden change in Near. Maybe L's death had a bigger impact on the albino than everyone would think. But why was Near showing Mello this? Even if Near didn't hate or even dislike Mello, everyone knew that Mello would never do any favours for Near.
Perhaps the death of L had so badly affected both of them that they needed each other to ease the pain. But that just didn't seem right to Mello. Near had never shown any feelings towards the World's Greatest Detective. But then again, Near rarely showed emotion anyway.
Had it just become too much for Near? Had he given up on hiding himself the world? Had L's death been the fuse? Too many questions. Too many for one night. Maybe Mello should sleep...
Mello was lowering his eyelids and pulling his hand away from Nears cheek when the younger boy spoke again.
"Mello, there's something you should know..." Near suddenly became interested in the blanket underneath him, "I-.... I've had......" Near shut his stone coloured eyes. Mello placed his hand back on Near's cheek again, signalling that he didn't have to continue speaking.
Near opened his eyes again and looked straight into those mesmerizing blue orbs. Near had an expression of pure determination on his face.
"I have feelings for you Mello. I've had feelings for you for a long time. I-.. I..." Near trailed off. Lowering his eyes to the blanket again. A blush tinted his off white skin a pale pink.
Mello subconsciously admitted it was absolutely adorable.
'Oh. My. God. Why the hell is Near not in pain right now? And why are you finding him fucking cute now? This is insane! Get out of here! Why are you still here? GET OUT!' The voice in Mello's head screamed and ranted. But he wasn't particulary listening to it. 'He's hypnotized you! He's cursed you! Hit him! Make him plee for mercy!... Oh shit'
Before Mello knew what was happening, dirty thought's ran through his young, curious mind. Mello making Near scream his name. Near begging Mello for more. Mello's eyes alit with sudden excitment.
Near obviously didn't like the fact that Mello said nothing. So his graphite eyes looked at Mello worriedly. The albino was surprised to be greeted by the sight of a suddenly very hungry looking Mello, and not for food either.
"Mello?" Near's voice had heightened to a squeak, he didn't like that look on Mello's face at all.
Mello suddenly changed. Being pulled out of his thoughts by the very voice he wanted to hear right now. Mello stared wide-eyed at Near, wondering how long Near had been waiting for him say something.
"What is it Near?" Near looked searchingly into Mello's eyes.
"Can you stay?" Mello gasped at the repeated question, wasn't he already asked this? What was Near thinking?
"I already told you Near, I don't know." Near winced at the unchanged answer.
"But- but...." Mello shot Near a questioning look. The albino look away from the blond again, clearly a little embarrassed.
"Is what you said true?" Mello questioned. Near's gaze shot back up into Mello's aquamarine eyes.
"Yes..." It was the faintest of murmurs, but Mello still heard it.
Mello froze. Near was telling the truth, he meant what he said... Near liked Mello. But how? How could this be? Even if Near didn't have mutual feelings towards Mello. The blond still treated him like crap. Was Near some kind of masochist? Mello didn't smirk at the idea. It seemed unappealing to him, Near liking Mello hitting him. In fact, it made Mello shiver.
"Do you want to know why?" The petite boy asked expectantly, as if he was reading Mello's mind.
Mello could only nod dumbly, his throat was tight, almost painful. He didn't know why.
"I think, if given the chance, you are truly a kind person." Near spoke as if he'd been planning this moments for a long time, "Behind the insults, behind the anger, hatred and jealousy, you're just a fragile soul. You're just Mello. I've seen you with Matt sometimes, you are just that little less tense around him. You smile, you laugh, you joke around. I- I love seeing you like that... It makes me want to smile with you." Near went silent, as if just waiting for Mello to laugh at him. Near bowed his head so he couldn't possibly meet Mello's eyes with his own.
Mello didn't laugh. He didn't, jeer, sneer, snarl or growl. He didn't shout and swear. He didn't leave Near, all alone in his room. He didn't even smile.
"Near." Mello breathed, his icy eyes were wide with shock, his lips parted in awe. He was truly surprised by what Near had truthfully said.
'So this is it? This is what Near thinks of me? This is crazy, it can't be true. But why would Near say something like that if it wasn't true. That means.... Dear God, he does like me.'
"Near." He repeated.
Near's once soulless eyes locked onto the blond's again in a determined stare. Determined to look into Mello's soul, determined to see the older boy's true reaction to this, determined to watch even if Mello laughed hysterically in his face and slammed the door to his heart in it afterwards.
When Mello did nothing of the sort, in fact, nothing at all, Near did something that he knew he would probably regret the moment he actually did it.
Near fisted his hands on Mello's shirt and pulled the boy towards him, pressing their lips together in an awkward kiss.
A/N: Tada! Please review and all that shizzles!
Laters!
