Chapter 2: Put at a Disadvantage
A/N: I did think there would be a chance I would be writing this story just for me. It's nice to see some other people are fans of both shows, thanks for your encouragement. Also this chapter is twice as long as I intended, but hopefully nobody will have complaints.
Richard was surprised, there was no denying that. When he had seen Martin on the trip back to London, prisoner in tow, they had talked about Saint Marie. Martin had seemed quite interested in the way things were run, and Richard had made the normally vague offers about acting as a tour guide if he was ever in the area. Knowing Martin was getting married in a few weeks, he was willing to admit it probably would make a nice honeymoon destination. His cousin had called him a few weeks back to enquire as to what the coffee was like on island, much to Richard's bemusement, and then informed him he was thinking about coming over after all. When Richard failed to hear anything else on the subject, he had assumed it was just a passing fancy that had taken hold of the man and not a serious intention after all. Well, since Martin was now standing in front of him, Richard knew himself to be wrong on that front.
Martin seemed to have realised his mistake, "Right, yes, I suppose I should have informed you of the dates we were coming. These were the most convenient for us, so we would have come no matter what your availability." Behind his back Camille raised both her eyebrows. She was the only other person in the station currently, and probably was not sure what was going on.
A really rather pretty woman, carrying a child, stepped round from behind Martin and added, "Though it would wonderful if you did have some time to see us, Richard," She added, giving Martin the sort of meaningful look he sometimes received from Camille as a hint he might have cocked things up.
"Of course, yes," Martin said quickly. The addition wasn't actually necessary – Richard was perfectly used to his cousin. If Martin hadn't wanted to see him whilst on Saint Marie he would not have turned up at the station. The woman Richard presumed was Martin's new wife elbowed him, "Right, sorry, where are my manners? Richard this is my wife Louisa, and my son James Henry."
Richard shook Louisa's hands, and then tried to look at interested in the child, "Right, yes, he's very cute."
"Thank you. I suppose he would be your first cousin once removed," Louisa said conversationally, jiggling the baby who was becoming a bit restless. Probably the heat, poor thing, there Richard could sympathise. A moment later the child spotted something over his mother's shoulder that made him giggle happily, and Richard realised Camille was smiling and waving at the child from behind her desk. Louisa turned around to locate the source of the baby's amusement, and started a little to find Camille sitting at her desk. "Oh I'm sorry, look at us just bursting in here in the middle of the day! We're probably disturbing your work."
"It's fine, honestly," Camille stood and came around the desk. "Camille Bordey," She said, offering a hand to Louisa. "Your son is very beautiful. And such a cute laugh as well."
"Oh thank you," Louisa said, smiling, and shifting the baby so Camille could play with him. Richard couldn't help but notice the way Louisa thanked Camille seemed a lot more sincere, mind Camille's compliment was also a lot more sincere than his was. He never knew what to say about babies, they all looked relatively cute to him.
"You're here on your honeymoon?" Camille enquired, when Louisa nodded in confirmation, she smiled wickedly. Richard had a feeling he knew what was coming. "Oh you should get Richard to do some babysitting. One of the officers has a daughter and Richard has actually gotten quite good at it." Richard gave Camille a slightly horrified look, as the truth was that whenever Rosie had begun to cry during his babysitting stints, he panicked terribly and called Camille for help. It had gotten to the point where she just turned up automatically to help at the beginning of the evening. "I can help him as well," Camille added, and Richard knew that was more for his benefit than Louisa's.
Before Louisa could reply, Martin rounded on Richard and asked him, "Does your secretary have much experience in child care?"
The next moment defined tense silence. Martin was staring at him, expecting an answer, but Richard had frozen because he was waiting for Camille to explode. He knew there was nothing he could do to prevent it. Louisa seemed to have realised that her husband had made a mistake, as she cringed.
"Excuse me," Camille said, probably only not shouting out of deference to the presence of the baby. "I am not a secretary, I am a Detective Sergeant."
Martin raised an eyebrow at her response, turned back and told Richard, "She doesn't look like a Detective Sergeant."
Richard realised this was probably a reference to the shorts and strappy top affair Camille was wearing as opposed to anything else, and hastened to make it clear that was what Martin meant before any Actual Bodily Harm occurred, "Dress regulations are not the same as at The Met." It was all he could manage, and unfortunately it didn't seem to satisfy Martin.
"Then why are you still wearing a suit?"
Now this was an answer Richard could say, Blue Peter style, he had prepared early. Largely in response to nagging by Camille or her mother. "Because, as a middle aged pale Englishman, nobody would take me seriously if I was dressed as you are now, would they? I'd look like a tourist." His answer was made primly, and this time accepted by Martin. If only Camille and Catherine would respond to logic with acceptance, instead of just taking it as a challenge to push him more. That last thought reminded Richard his DS was still simmering over the secretary comment. She now used the pause in conversation to remind Martin as well.
"Even if I was a secretary, I would be perfectly able to answer the question myself you know! There was no reason to ask Richard," She was still remarkably restrained. Though she had brought out the finger to point emphatically as she spoke.
"I don't know you. You intimated that you might look after my child, and I simply wished to ascertain from somebody I trust that you were capable of that task."
Richard was impressed that both Louisa and Camille had identical looks of disbelief on their faces, and that despite being the recipient of these looks, Martin remained resolute in his belief he was right.
"Though your reasons for asking the question are, fundamentally, acceptable – the issue was more with the way you asked it," Now Camille had taken on the tone of an exasperated parent trying to explain right from wrong to a child. "You could have made the same enquiry when I wasn't standing right here."
Martin looked like he was about to argue his point, but much to Richard's relief Louisa quickly spoke over the top of him, "Yes, he could have, and he's very sorry, aren't you Martin?" This time, Martin was not immune to his wife's hard stare, and nodded mutely. "And I am sorry as well, Camille. I think James' might be a little hungry, you couldn't point me in the direction of somewhere I could buy him a banana or something similar?"
"Of course. In fact we aren't so busy right now, why don't I take you down to the market myself." Camille grabbed her bag, glaring at Richard on the way out. He thought it was a little unfair she was blaming him for his cousin's behaviour. Was he supposed to have defended her? She probably had expected it knowing her. And then, if he'd gone about doing so, she probably would currently be mad at him for assuming she wasn't able to defend her own honour.
"She seems a bit emotional," Martin said, thankfully when Camille was out of ear shot.
Richard waved a hand in dismissal, "Oh that is nothing, and you should hear some of the things she has said to me."
Martin frowned again, "Is there a chance she has some sort of mood disorder? I could assess her if you like."
Richard was about to reply in the negative, then realised perhaps he didn't have enough experience with women to make that judgement. Mind Dwayne had plenty of experience, and he'd never said anything. "I don't think that will be necessary. And in answer you your earlier question she actually is very good with young children. If you did want a babysitter for an evening I'm sure the two of us could manage between us."
"I'll consider it. Now, about that tropical diseases clinic you mentioned…"
You didn't have to be in Louisa's presence long to realise what a warm, loving and open person she was, Camille concluded. In fact in every way she seemed to be the complete opposite of the man she had married.
"So Martin and Richard are first cousins then?" Camille asked, as she directed Louisa away from the plantain she was examining towards bananas that were likely to be more to a baby's tastes.
"Yes, Martin said their Mothers are sisters. Apparently they were at school together, though a couple of years apart. Also Martin would spend a week of the Easter holidays staying with Richard's family." Well if they went to the same school that might explain things. Either that or the mannerisms the two men had in common were actually genetic. It was funny though, Camille knew to a certain degree she had trained Richard, but she felt certain he had never been that rude. Mind she could remember him interrupting her, dismissing her, and generally being a bit of an ass. Perhaps her recollections were more rosily coloured now because of…well, other things.
Banana successfully purchased, they headed back to the station. Louisa paused on the veranda to look down on the market, "Oh it looks lovely, like the real Caribbean! Martin wouldn't let me have a proper look earlier, said all of the stallholders were just waiting for an opportunity to take advantage of me."
"Well, prices can be slightly inflated by vendors for tourists, but they are pretty open to a little haggling. I mean, it is the weekend tomorrow, if you want I could take you around? I can make sure you get some bargains! A lot of the stallholders you know, they are making the items they sell themselves or as part of co-operatives. If you are looking for some gifts to bring back that are truly representative of the island, it's the place to go."
"Well thank you Camille, James Henry and I would like that very much. If Martin disapproves he can just go do something else, if he hasn't already arranged just that."
"I'm going to go shopping at the market tomorrow," Louisa told Martin as she came back in, in a tone that implied it was not a decision Martin should argue with her about. Naturally, Martin ignored this entirely.
"Louisa, I thought we had been through this, the sort of people running those stalls are just waiting to take advantage of you. If you buy anything from them, it will be at grossly inflated prices and will probably fall to pieces before we even get it home."
Richard felt that on this occasion, Martin, "Actually Louisa he's right. They don't exactly have high quality standards."
Unfortunately, this statement attracted the wrath of Camille, "Just because the people on this island don't have some big factory with, with quality control managers going over every inch of the products they make doesn't mean that those things aren't worth buying. You're talking about people's entire livelihoods! Of course they care about what they make."
"Oh please I can name half a dozen sellers I've had complaints made against in the past few months!"
"Yes, and if you bothered to think about it, you could think of twice the number of honest people just trying to make a living! Besides, I am going to go with Louisa, so I'm hardly going to let her get hoodwinked, am I?" Richard thought it was a little unfair that Camille hadn't mentioned that in the first place. Naturally Louisa would be fine with Camille in tow, in fact given the popularity of the detective amongst the islands residents she'd probably get a fair few bargains.
"Right, good, Camille will look after her," Richard mumbled to Martin, who didn't look entirely convinced.
"Well then, it's good you have other activities planned for tomorrow as Richard and I are going to visit the tropical diseases clinic I told you about."
"Are you interested in tropical medicine?" Camille asked politely.
"Not any more than other area of medicine. Richard mentioned the work the clinic was trying to do to me when he was in London, and the results they were managing to achieve despite their limited resources. He hoped I could point him in the direction of organisations that might be able to provide more funding. I did a little research into the clinic myself and was suitably impressed. If my impressions are confirmed on the visit tomorrow, I shall recommend that the RCS and RCGP make the organisation a recipient of the funds they give out each year to medical charities." Camille didn't respond immediately, and Richard realised Martin was studying her expression carefully. "You look quite conflicted, Sergeant Bordey."
She did actually, now Martin mentioned it. Camille seemed to shake herself mentally before responding, "Yeah well, I'm still mad at him for the whole market sellers thing, but I also think it's sweet he has tried to help the free clinic. Those are two emotions that aren't easy to resolve."
"Yeah. I know what you mean there," Louisa told her.
"Do you often find your mood or emotions shift rapidly?" Martin asked her.
Camille's face screwed up in confusion, "What is that supposed to mean?"
Oh God, this entire situation was giving Richard a headache, he should have known Camille and Martin would never get on. He rubbed his forehead in a vague attempt to sooth the pain, and Martin did not miss the action.
"Are you still suffering from headaches, Richard?"
"Yes," he said, with a resigned sigh.
Martin pulled a pen light from his pocket and shone it in Richard's eye, "Ow! Do you really think that is going to help the headache?"
"Well you know what the diagnosis is, Richard, very unlikely to have changed since I saw you last. Have you consulted anybody here about it?"
"No, I know! I should have."
"Richard, the sooner you accept it, the better. Things could be made so much more comfortable for you." Martin's tone gave away his impatience.
"Don't suppose you have an opinion on how much longer I might have?"
"To be frank I think it's only your sheer stubbornness that has gotten you this far. Honestly, it happens to everyone eventually Richard, ok maybe it's a bit earlier in your case."
"Oh my God!" Camille cried out, and Richard looked at her in alarm when he realised she was crying. Louisa had placed a comforting arm around her. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I didn't think you'd be that interested," Richard told her perplexed. "In fact I was more worried you'd make fun of me."
"Why would I do that?" She continued to weep, with Louisa doing her best to comfort her.
"Martin, how could be so, so, brusque about it!" Louisa snapped suddenly. "You could try to be a bit more consoling!"
"Excuse me but it's his own vanity that means he is still suffering. If he just sucked it up, accepted the fact he was aging, and got the glasses he wouldn't still be having headaches!" Martin exploded.
Camille somehow ceased crying instantly and looked up sharply, "Glasses? You have headaches because you need glasses?"
"Yes," Richard said slowly, trying to figure out what was going on.
"You're not dying?"
Oh. Oh. Now he came to think of it he supposed it did sound more drastic that he intended, "No, not as far as I know."
Camille, in a move that took him entirely by surprise, launched herself across the room and threw her arms around him. Squeezing him tightly and releasing him before he could even decide how to respond, she pulled back and then punched him, hard, on the arm.
"Ow! What was that for?" He protested, rubbing the sore muscle.
"For making me think you were dying!"
"It's not my fault you misinterpreted what Martin said," He was really struggling to cope with her rapid change in emotions.
"Yes it is, if you had gotten the glasses than there would have been no conversation for me to misinterpret!"
Richard was desperately trying to think of a way to avoid any further abuse, both physical or verbal, when Martin asked seriously, "Are you sure you don't want me to assess her for a mood disorder?"
