Chapter Two: Garlic Breath
Pitti-Sing wandered back toward her home in a state of dizzy lovesickness. She felt as though she would never tire of replaying the events of the past hour and a half in her head. She and Shitty-Ping had taken a long, leisurely walk through Titipu in which Shitty-Ping had talked about himself constantly, practically without stopping for breath.
The majority of what he'd said, however, had gone in one of Pitti's ears and out the other, for she had spent almost the entire time gazing lovingly at his handsome face and paying attention to nothing else. (The one thing she vaguely remembered him saying was that he had won "Titipu Beat" magazine's Most Winning Grin award seven years in a row and was nominated again this year.)
He's so handsome, Pitti thought dazedly. And of all the maidens in Titipu that he could have taken a walk with, he chose me! And to think that all I had to do was wish I had a gentleman friend… She considered wishing for the Titipuian currency equal to a million dollars, too, but decided not to press her luck. Besides, as far as she was concerned, no million dollars would ever have compared to the walk she had just taken.
In her infatuated stupor, she tripped over Poke-Mon, who was sitting with Peep-Bo, Nanki-Poo, and Yum-Yum under a tree. She nearly fell flat on her face; fortunately, Nanki-Poo caught her and she managed to regain solid footing. "There you are, Pitti," he said cheerfully. "Next time, you'd better watch where you're going."
She opened her mouth to say "thank you," but all that came out was "duhhhhhh."
Peep-Bo raised one eyebrow. "What's the matter with you, dear? We are accustomed to hearing that sort of thing from Yum-Yum, but hardly from you."
Yum-Yum, to put it mildly, had never been famous around Titipu for her intelligence. As if to prove this point, she smiled a glittery smile.
"I," said Pitti-Sing proudly, "am in love."
Peep-Bo and Poke-Mon smiled at each other knowingly; and Pitti suspected that they had already figured that out.
Yum-Yum, however, seemed to have had no idea. "Oh!" she exclaimed, clasping her hands together in delight. "How exciting! Is it a young man?"
"No," Poke-Mon replied sarcastically, "It's Katisha."
"Well, I…" Pitti-Sing was grinning like an idiot. "I had better be going home…" She wandered off.
"My goodness," Peep-Bo murmured. "Pitti-Sing in love. It seems as though she was learning to talk just yesterday."
"She may have to re-learn," remarked Poke-Mon, staring after Pitti's departing figure. "Come along, dear, it's getting toward suppertime." He took Peep-Bo's hand, and they walked off.
"I think it's wonderful that she's found someone," said Nanki-Poo. He then exited as well.
Poor girl, thought Yum-Yum, shaking her head. I realize she's nowhere near as pretty as I, and much more desperate, but…KATISHA?!
"Did you enjoy dinner, darling?" Katisha's voice rang out from the kitchen.
Ko-Ko, who was sitting in the adjacent room, replied. "Oh, yes." He knew that he didn't sound at all convincing, but he also knew that Katisha wouldn't have cared if he had committed while resonding, as long as he'd said "yes". She just wanted to hear that word.
Speaking of vomiting, the more Ko-Ko thought about it, the more appealing an idea it seemed. He thought if he lived with Katisha long enough, if he had to endure her overbearing, smothering personality and look at her ugly face each day, he might well be vomiting frequently.
The fact was, dinner had been hideous. It had consisted solely of a food that was Katisha's favorite and Ko-Ko's least favorite: garlic. Katisha had forced Ko-Ko to finish his entire meal despite his (false) complaints of a stomachache. He supposed she had seen through them.
The awful aftertaste of Ko-Ko's horrible meal was just beginning to fade when Katisha strode into the room, holding a deck of cards. "It's time for an after-dinner card game!" she announced cheerily.
Ko-Ko would have preferred being devoured by maggots, but he knew better than to argue. "What game shall we play?" he asked, attempting in vain to keep the fatigue out of his voice.
Katisha replied, "Slap Emperor," which was a Titipuian card game much like Slap Jack. She shuffled the cards. They then played a round of the game, which Katisha won.
"Ha!" she exclaimed. "You lose! You must now face the consequences."
"The…?" squeaked poor Ko-Ko. But before he could say "consequences," Katisha had grabbed him and was giving him a huge, sloppy, garlicky kiss.
Ko-Ko made a pact with himself then and there that if Katisha ever announced that she was fixing garlic for dinner again, he would try to behead himself. He thought it would be relatively painless compared to the hell he was going through now.
Katisha was asleep (and snoring loudly) by the time Ko-Ko crawled, exhausted, into his sleeping bag that night. He felt not only tired, but lonely, depressed, lost, and in desperate need of a Tic-Tac. Unfortunately, Tic-Tacs hadn't yet been invented, so there was nothing he could do about his garlic breath.
From the sleeping bag, Ko-Ko spied the one suitcase he had brought with him to his new home. He got out of the sleeping bag and opened it. A piece of paper immediately caught his attention. It was a little list he'd made during his days as Lord High Executioner of Titipu. On it were the names of all the people in the town he thought would never be missed if they were executed. Now he added "Katisha" to the list and underlined her name several times.
Then something else caught his eye. It was his tattered stuffed monkey, Bing-Bong, whom he had owned since his infancy. Bing-Bong had always been Ko-Ko's main source of comfort when he was upset, and now he needed Bing- Bong more than ever.
Ko-Ko climbed back into the sleeping bag with the monkey, squeezed Bing- Bong tightly, and burst into tears.
Pitti-Sing wandered back toward her home in a state of dizzy lovesickness. She felt as though she would never tire of replaying the events of the past hour and a half in her head. She and Shitty-Ping had taken a long, leisurely walk through Titipu in which Shitty-Ping had talked about himself constantly, practically without stopping for breath.
The majority of what he'd said, however, had gone in one of Pitti's ears and out the other, for she had spent almost the entire time gazing lovingly at his handsome face and paying attention to nothing else. (The one thing she vaguely remembered him saying was that he had won "Titipu Beat" magazine's Most Winning Grin award seven years in a row and was nominated again this year.)
He's so handsome, Pitti thought dazedly. And of all the maidens in Titipu that he could have taken a walk with, he chose me! And to think that all I had to do was wish I had a gentleman friend… She considered wishing for the Titipuian currency equal to a million dollars, too, but decided not to press her luck. Besides, as far as she was concerned, no million dollars would ever have compared to the walk she had just taken.
In her infatuated stupor, she tripped over Poke-Mon, who was sitting with Peep-Bo, Nanki-Poo, and Yum-Yum under a tree. She nearly fell flat on her face; fortunately, Nanki-Poo caught her and she managed to regain solid footing. "There you are, Pitti," he said cheerfully. "Next time, you'd better watch where you're going."
She opened her mouth to say "thank you," but all that came out was "duhhhhhh."
Peep-Bo raised one eyebrow. "What's the matter with you, dear? We are accustomed to hearing that sort of thing from Yum-Yum, but hardly from you."
Yum-Yum, to put it mildly, had never been famous around Titipu for her intelligence. As if to prove this point, she smiled a glittery smile.
"I," said Pitti-Sing proudly, "am in love."
Peep-Bo and Poke-Mon smiled at each other knowingly; and Pitti suspected that they had already figured that out.
Yum-Yum, however, seemed to have had no idea. "Oh!" she exclaimed, clasping her hands together in delight. "How exciting! Is it a young man?"
"No," Poke-Mon replied sarcastically, "It's Katisha."
"Well, I…" Pitti-Sing was grinning like an idiot. "I had better be going home…" She wandered off.
"My goodness," Peep-Bo murmured. "Pitti-Sing in love. It seems as though she was learning to talk just yesterday."
"She may have to re-learn," remarked Poke-Mon, staring after Pitti's departing figure. "Come along, dear, it's getting toward suppertime." He took Peep-Bo's hand, and they walked off.
"I think it's wonderful that she's found someone," said Nanki-Poo. He then exited as well.
Poor girl, thought Yum-Yum, shaking her head. I realize she's nowhere near as pretty as I, and much more desperate, but…KATISHA?!
"Did you enjoy dinner, darling?" Katisha's voice rang out from the kitchen.
Ko-Ko, who was sitting in the adjacent room, replied. "Oh, yes." He knew that he didn't sound at all convincing, but he also knew that Katisha wouldn't have cared if he had committed while resonding, as long as he'd said "yes". She just wanted to hear that word.
Speaking of vomiting, the more Ko-Ko thought about it, the more appealing an idea it seemed. He thought if he lived with Katisha long enough, if he had to endure her overbearing, smothering personality and look at her ugly face each day, he might well be vomiting frequently.
The fact was, dinner had been hideous. It had consisted solely of a food that was Katisha's favorite and Ko-Ko's least favorite: garlic. Katisha had forced Ko-Ko to finish his entire meal despite his (false) complaints of a stomachache. He supposed she had seen through them.
The awful aftertaste of Ko-Ko's horrible meal was just beginning to fade when Katisha strode into the room, holding a deck of cards. "It's time for an after-dinner card game!" she announced cheerily.
Ko-Ko would have preferred being devoured by maggots, but he knew better than to argue. "What game shall we play?" he asked, attempting in vain to keep the fatigue out of his voice.
Katisha replied, "Slap Emperor," which was a Titipuian card game much like Slap Jack. She shuffled the cards. They then played a round of the game, which Katisha won.
"Ha!" she exclaimed. "You lose! You must now face the consequences."
"The…?" squeaked poor Ko-Ko. But before he could say "consequences," Katisha had grabbed him and was giving him a huge, sloppy, garlicky kiss.
Ko-Ko made a pact with himself then and there that if Katisha ever announced that she was fixing garlic for dinner again, he would try to behead himself. He thought it would be relatively painless compared to the hell he was going through now.
Katisha was asleep (and snoring loudly) by the time Ko-Ko crawled, exhausted, into his sleeping bag that night. He felt not only tired, but lonely, depressed, lost, and in desperate need of a Tic-Tac. Unfortunately, Tic-Tacs hadn't yet been invented, so there was nothing he could do about his garlic breath.
From the sleeping bag, Ko-Ko spied the one suitcase he had brought with him to his new home. He got out of the sleeping bag and opened it. A piece of paper immediately caught his attention. It was a little list he'd made during his days as Lord High Executioner of Titipu. On it were the names of all the people in the town he thought would never be missed if they were executed. Now he added "Katisha" to the list and underlined her name several times.
Then something else caught his eye. It was his tattered stuffed monkey, Bing-Bong, whom he had owned since his infancy. Bing-Bong had always been Ko-Ko's main source of comfort when he was upset, and now he needed Bing- Bong more than ever.
Ko-Ko climbed back into the sleeping bag with the monkey, squeezed Bing- Bong tightly, and burst into tears.
