Chapter 2:Pranked

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"Wah!" Iruka just about slammed his head against his desk, trying desperately to get rid of the pesky thoughts that whirled in his head.

So what if he hadn't seen that guy since the…the…the tan man rubbed his face in shaking hands.

Why was his life turning out like this? He'd been just fine before, clutching his boringness like a lifeline; it was his floatation device in the crazy insane world he lived in. And now, he shuddered, now, he had a crazy insane, pornographic, teasing, spiky-haired, mocking guy running full speed at him. Such a thing is bound to make ripples. No, it was bound to make huge, rolling, crashing tsunami waves. His brown eyebrow twitched.

And Iruka was still floating helplessly in the water. So, what to do?

"Iruka-sensei," A lazy voice reached him and the man froze for a heart-stopping second.

"Why so tense so early?" Shikamaru raised an eyebrow "You aren't even supposed to be here for another two hours." He gave the teacher a strange look before shaking his head and turning away to nap on the bench outside, muttering a quiet 'troublesome' on his way out.

Iruka turned red. It wasn't his fault he was here so damn (excuse the language) early! After a few moments of self-pity, however, the man collected himself. He licked his lips; a habit formed sub-consciously since the 'incident'. He caught himself just as he was running the tip of a pink tongue across his lower lip, all but shoving the naughty muscle back into its lair.

The reason he was so tense; the teacher turned back to grading papers, trying not to be self-conscious as he marked papers with bright red, the reason he was so dang tense was…well, it was…

It was Monday; the first Monday, in fact, of the brand-new month.

Those two hours passed like years, slow and full of highs and lows. Really deep lows. By the end of them, Iruka's once immaculate ponytail had loosened several glossy brown strands to block his sight and he was constantly fighting a blush. Why couldn't his mind just let it go?

He sighed again, deciding that sitting by the window any longer would just be another huge proof of his stupidity.

Instead, his body moved to the window, where he looked out, over the rising sun village, licking his lips. It was a few moments before he caught himself and hurried away to somewhere that had no windows. A well-mannered, dedicated teacher doesn't need that kind of distraction.

And that was exactly what he was, and always would be. A simple, entirely wholesome, well-mannered teacher of the next generation. Iruka moved slowly, as if walking to an unpleasant experience, to the classroom. The children filed in a bit afterward, still yawning and rubbing little bleary eyes. Yes, he was just your ordinary well mannered, boring, homey and down-to-earth teacher. He smiled the first real smile he had since, well…for a long time. He turned to the still sleepy little faces, beaming with all the energetic glory of morning sunshine.

It was so bright, many of them groaned and covered their blinded, now aching eyes and pulled at their hair. They too were normal, and like so many normal people, were early morning-hating human beings. Iruka turned back to his average quality, averagely clean and averagely large black chalkboard. He could do this. He could go on with his day, with his life. And go through it as a normal, uninteresting person. He started writing, completely absorbed in the job he loved so much.

And then.

Giggles erupted from the back. Iruka held back a shudder. He was just jumping to conclusions, right? Right?

He sighed heavily, weary brown eyes slowly traveling to the open window. A chill morning breeze blew gently through its gaping emptiness. He could've danced. Well, of course not really; normal people don't dance, so he didn't. But he could've. Hypothetically speaking.

The tan man turned back slightly to smile at his unusually good-natured class. He got back to writing, once again completely absorbed, reaching back to scratch his back a bit. The children giggled once again, shuffling noises. A few gasps, whispers. Iruka's ears twitched as he whirled his chalk with deadly accuracy to the troublemaking child. It hit him square in the forehead, eliciting a yowl.

"Quiet, now! Be good or a pop quiz!" He turned back around and smiled slightly to himself, glad of the familiar words. He grabbed his coffee cup from his desk, taking a sip. Nothing like coffee first thing in the morning!

And then something rapped at the window. Its okay, it's okay. This was what he'd been preparing for. Iruka mustered his blandness, trying to be ready for anything.

He turned, smiling cordially at the window as he headed over. The gray-haired jounin lounged comfortably in the sill, an uncomfortably wide grin behind his mask.

"Maa, Iruka-sensei, Hokage-sama calls." He shifted, squatting now in the middle of the sill before waving at the class behind their teacher. He brought the porn book high, covering the lower half of his face; all but that one mischievous eye.

Iruka looked a bit perturbed, but resolutely stubborn "Kakashi, such books are not allowed on school grounds. Please remember that for the future." He hardened his features as much as possible for the normally easy, warm face. It had no effect on Kakashi, who gave a dismissive wave.

"Sure, sure. I certainly wouldn't want to do anything naughty." He gave an extremely suggestive wink, lips twisted like that of the worst of fiends, and poofed! away.

Iruka slammed the window shut, tan face red as a tomato. Damn that jounin! Why did he always elicit such an unusual reaction from him?! No matter what, Iruka always found himself frustrated or irritated in some unfamiliar way.

He turned back to his class, who stared at him with slightly wide eyes, and swiftly got back to teaching, mind on other things.

-XXX

Iruka walked into Tsunade-hime's office with the slight flush of irritation still looming on his cheeks. He tried his best to be affable. "Good morning, Hokage-sama. The usual report." He handed it to the blonde woman, smiling broadly. She was no fool.

"Good morning, Iruka-sensei. You seem unusually lively this morning. Something happen?" She didn't ask with too much interest, flipping through the booklet of well-thought-out reports with most of her concentration.

"Ha," He chuckled amiably, "of course not, Tsunade-sama. The usual, the usual."

Amber eyes were sizing him up immediately and Iruka felt his cheeks go hot with the thoughts of all the unusual going-ons. He held firm, however.

"Well, good day, Hokage-sama." He turned his back, heading to the door. If he left now, he could still make it by test-time for the children. Goodness knows Shikamaru wouldn't be careful of them cheating. He'd probably just sleep through the class. Iruka almost 'tsk-ed' aloud. Instead, his ears just tuned in to the very faint, surprised-sounding chortle coming from the Hokage. He turned around, immediately catching her staring at his back incredulously.

"Iruka-sensei, what is that you've got taped to your back?" He felt his eyebrow twitch. That man…

It was almost funny how his mind immediately reverted back to one particular gray-haired jounin. Note the 'almost'.

He reached to his back, indeed finding a rather large sheet strapped to his upper vest. He all but ripped it off. No wonder everyone around him on the street was looking at him funny. On the crisp white sheet, in a scrawl that personified that insane, lazy, horrible man, wrote three words and one universal symbol.

'I'

'(heart)'

'Hatake Kakashi' !

Iruka could've screamed. This was no more than a child's prank; but he felt nearly insulted. As it was, his entire body felt his face's flaming red, all the way to the tips of his ears he was a very agitated looking cherry purple. That damned, accursed man! Ugh! The teacher was shaking with the force it took to keep himself still instead of running away and hiding under a rock for a very, very long time.

That son of a mother would get his. Jounin or not, Iruka would make sure of that. He'd get the scolding of a lifetime.

"Thank you so very much for telling me. Good day, Tsunade-hime." The words were hissed through gritted teeth. He stalked all the way back to the school, were the poor, unsuspecting students received the brunt of his hostility in the form of what would become infamous as the hardest test ever given.

-XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The morning is peaceful. That was really, originally all that Iruka had ached for. Some peace. But then peace became monotony, and that had reverted to anything and everything boring. He wasn't a dry person, honest. He just…hated exhilaration. It was too much trouble, caused too many problems.

Iruka walked into his office at exactly 7:00 am. He'd made himself stay home, pacing, until the very last minute. Even though there really was no point, seeing as it was just Tuesday. Nothing special about a Tuesday… really. The man sighed, rubbing his eyes and, remembering with a horrified (although completely ridiculous) blush what exactly he'd done with that hand just that night. After another of those…dreams. Curses, more like.

And after being so upset at the guy! How could his mind still be so…filthy? Iruka shuddered in remembrance, himself not sure whether the shudder was pleasant or otherwise. He stalked into the workroom, still flushed with irritation. He sat quickly, trying to focus on his work of grading those tests, awful work by the children, less than half got above a ten percent.

But…that was partly his fault. He grabbed a red pen from his cup, quickly tugging the cap to mark the abominable answers. He'd give the class a steep curve, just as an act of repentance for the horrid test. He tugged harder. It wouldn't come off. He tossed the pen lightly aside, trying again with another. It also was stuck. What the heck? He soon ran through every last one of his pens, the ones in his drawer, too! They were all stuck! Stuck or…brown eyes glared their way to the window, ripping holes through the open glass…stuck or glued.

That man…! He wouldn't! How old was he, ten instead of in his twenties? Ridiculous! And as if that weren't enough, -

"Need some help, Iruka-sensei?" The lazy drawl reached the severely agitated teacher like the straw that broke the camel's back. Iruka was the camel, and these glued pens were the straw.

"What did you do, Kakashi-san?" Iruka's voice was poison, furious red darkening his cheeks.

The man ignored him. "It seems your pens are stuck. Do you need help opening one?" He smiled, the force of the twist screwing his one bare eye into a convoluted half-moon. Iruka couldn't hold his body back as he charged forward, into the man's face.

"Why do you keep doing these things, Kakashi?!" Seriously, why? Why did that jerk have to take interest in him, the most uninteresting guy in Konoha? To his surprise, the young jounin only leaned a bit more forward, the smile still in place but no longer closing his one bare gray eye, its piercing gaze he'd involuntarily dreamed of, fantasized about so many times. The thought immediately had a thick blush on the teacher's face. He stubbornly kept his features angry. They were a mere inch apart.

"For that." The questioning gaze from Iruka had Kakashi explaining

"That blush. Your reactions are so unusual," He leaned forward once more, now much too close "it's got me hooked. I have to see how you'll react to what I do." Iruka was barely aware of the thickly padded fingers that were suddenly resting lightly on his cheek "It's so innocent."

"Why me?" It was a whisper. He didn't want any of this. Why him? Why, damnnit? The blush had reached the tips of his ears, making him feel uncomfortably hot and sweaty.

Instead of a normal answer, like Iruka would have much preferred, the gray haired jounin only smiled, those fingers suddenly not just pressing, but gripping the hot skin of his jaw to pull him forward and into a quick kiss. (after pulling his mask down in a blinding flash)

Well, intended to be a long kiss as Kakashi attempted to explore his mouth and was, in a burst of shock and inner calamity, cut short as the teacher promptly shoved the jounin away. Out the window.

He landed with an oof! and Iruka's short-lived guilt.

It wasn't his fault; he didn't ask to be kissed! By Hatake Kakshi no less! He was even more red now, his mind completely blank except for an unnamable irritation. He strode back to his desk, grabbed a pen, and rushed back to the window. Kakashi was still on the ground, lounging around now. Like an idiot. Ugh!

Iruka made sure Kakashi could see the pen. And, in the jounin's face, he literally ripped the cap off and threw it down on the man before snapping the window shut.

He absolutely, absolutely would not have it! Any of it! He didn't want any of it! He didn't need, want or would have any of what that guy offered, what he lived! He didn't want any adventure! The teacher clutched at the fabric over his hammering heart, the other clamped over his buzzing lips.

He didn't want it. He wouldn't have it. He squeezed his eyes shut. He didn't…wouldn't…just couldn't! He found himself having to concentrate simply on keeping his knees from wobbling too hard and knocking him over. He'd collapse, he would. That was one thing he would do.

The feeling that had started as Kakashi had leant in closer spread, warming his limbs and he found he didn't have the strength, or the will, to beat it back down. He wanted it there, spreading through his nerves. He liked feeling warm.

He shook his head. Kakashi was just messing with him. He couldn't stay in the dream world of naïve stupidity for much longer; he had to work in- he checked the clock. Three minutes. He had to face the world in three minutes. With a deep breath, the man attempted to collect himself.

-XXXXX

Iruka had a choice. This was, by no means, a simple decision. No, it shook the fundamentals of his entire life. One; ignore everything, stay safe. The smart decision. Two; ignore nothing. Go out on a limb and set himself up for either great success, or great, blistering failure. The not-so-smart decision, but possibly the one with the greatest reward.

But, to make that decision, he had to have some solid evidence. It would be beyond cruel if this was all a joke, a…a prank. It wouldn't be surprising. So, he had to admit it to himself.

Say it out loud, now. You're alone, in your home, and it's the middle of the night.

Who could hear him? No one, that's who. And it wasn't a big deal, either, not love or anything.

Just, shudder, interest. Damn that gray-haired man. Iruka rolled over so his voice would be muffled by the pillow.

"I-" he shuddered, bringing up the covers to engulf his head. He had to do this, or lose more sleep.

"I like him." Who, now? Say it correctly. Him.

"Hatake Kakashi."

Yes. Yes, he felt a bit better now, even though the crashing of his boring world around him was a bit noisy; all the blood-curdling screams and such. He sighed, but was finally able to get to sleep. He'd been ruthlessly pranked, and by the state of things, it had worked. So, was it all just a joke?

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