A/n: Thank you for the comments! We'll just say that Sudoh lived.

He wants a piece of steamy chocolate, or a fattening hamburger, or something solid and "against" the rules for someone of his stature. This murky, medicated food they've been feeding him offends his taste buds so much, that he honestly believes it should be considered an illegal substance.

Honestly, he doesn't mind gaining a few extra pounds, not at all. He's sure he looks god awful, he feels like it. His hair has thinned a lot, he's paler then usual, and as skinny as a twig.

Occasionally, a nurse or two will walk into his room, and change his cold IV, check his temperature, or assist him in anyway they're allowed to.

"Can I have something "real" to eat?" He'll ask silently, and when the nurse tilts her head, because even with her "nursing" degree, she can't seem to figure out what exactly normal food is, he tries again.

"Like...a hamburger?"
"Oh!" She says happily, and finally she gets it, yet she doesn't fully understand, "You're not allowed to be on solid foods yet."
And she leaves his cold, dark hospital room. She leaves him with the beeping machines, with the white walls closing in on him, and with the loneliness seeping deep within his bones, irritating them like radium fragments.

He wants to jump out of the window this time, because he thinks to himself Maybe Asami will come back...maybe he'll save me.

Contradicting thoughts collide with the painful truth.

Asami has forgotten about him, he's thrown away the key.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Sometimes he sees Asami in his dreams. He sees him behind him, grabbing his arm and yanking him off of the concrete bridge just seconds before he jumps. He sees Asami saving him, yet murdering him at the same time...He wonders what his worth to Asami was, If he truly ever meant anything to him.

And then suddenly, he sees him. That blue eyed, blond haired photographer.

Suddenly, all three of them are on the bridge, yet when Sudoh looks down, he expects to see speeding cars and dark assault below him. He expects to fall onto the pavement, and become art.

But instead, reality is replaced with a dark void of nothingness. Yet he still stands on the ledge, he still pushes off. Asami makes to save him, but that terrible, annoying shrill from the photographer garners the older man's attention.

"Asami, you bastard! Do I even mean anything to you! Why the hell are you saving him? I thought you loved me!"

And then Sudoh's hand slips out of Asami's grasp like water. And he falls and falls into the darkness. Behind him, Asami takes Takaba's lips in his own. His large hand snakes under the younger man's clothing, unbuckles his belt, grips his hair and Sudoh is suspended in the air, perfectly able to see the nightmare before him.

Those nights, he wakes up screaming himself hoarse. The darkness consumes him still, and he attacks it like a wild animal. He claws at it with his finger nails, he punches at it and grabs at it.

Then suddenly it has silky hair, and soft squishy skin, and clothing and breasts, and he wakes up abruptly, realizing that he's no longer attacking the darkness, rather the nurses.

Of course he's still screaming, yet through his screeches, he apologizes more then he ever has. The screams turn into agonizing sobs. Hurting people is not in his nature.

The following days are full of specters coming into his room. He sees Asami more then enough. The golden eyed man commands his attention and demands an explanation, yet he receives none.

As far as Sudoh is concerned, he's not the real Asami. He never even knew who Asami was anyway.

Akihito visits too, and Sudoh screams the second the photographer steps over the threshold. Takaba looks shocked, and almost offended. Yet he still comes every single day. He comes to apologize.

And through Sudoh's screams, he realizes that the younger man has grown slightly gaunt, that the area around his eyes are tinged with an angry pink.

The photographer is the darkness. He sucks out life from the living, including himself, he creates the void. His presence lodges itself into Sudoh's bones, it cracks their foundation and shatters them into dust.

Takaba Akihito is radium.

Kuroda visits occasionally, only to interview him, and speak to him regarding his crimes. Though he says once, "You're already dead, aren't you," when bringing up possible punishments for his case.

When was I alive? Sudoh thinks to himself, and the look on his face suggest that he's thoughts weren't exactly thoughts, that somehow, Kuroda managed to hear exactly what he said.

The expression conveyed between both Sudoh and Kuroda mirror one another, just slightly. And then Sudoh knows the the detective understands.

Who is alive when they're under Asami's thumb?

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Later, they transport him to a psychiatric hospital. He's been seeing images too frequently, he's been experiencing things that aren't there.

They put him away. They forget about him, and throw away his key. And for the first time in ages, he yearns to be forgotten, to be erased.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Blame Tokyo Ghoul for the chapters depressing tone. All of my faves are just dying...anyway, I've been paying attention to others thoughts about Sudoh, and they feel bad for him, and so do I. That's a good thing, I guess. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it! Have a wonderful week, and God bless.