Second Chapter's up! Yay! Chapter 3 coming soon. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe! Well here's the story!


10 years later in Harry's Bedroom.

Someone bangs on the door. It is his aunt. Petunia.

Petunia Up! Get up! Now!

Harry Yes Petunia.

Dudley Runs down the stairs and stops to the middle and starts jumping on it. Come on, Cuz! We're going to the zoo!

Dudley weighed so much he broke the staircase and smashed onto Harry.

Harry OH!!! How much do you weighed you old pig!?

Dudley Precisely 400 pounds.(Grining.)

Harry Better than weighing 600 pounds at least.

Dudley Wait! That was a dream. I weigh 750 pounds.

Harry OH SHIT!

In the kitchen

Vernon Cook my fried eggs boy! Quick now!

Harry Do it yourself you old fart.

Uncle Vernon takes a knife getting ready to throw it Harry.

Harry Yes, Uncle Vernon!

Petunia Call Ms Nanny 991 to babysit Harry while we're at the zoo!

Vernon No. She's not a babysitter. She helps parents. We might as well have to bring him with us.

Harry Sweet!

At the zoo in the snake area.

They are looking at the snake that won't move.

Dudley Make it move!

Vernon But I'll get in trouble if I-

Dudley Move! You stupid snake! You call yourself a viper!

Harry Shut up! I just forgot what I wanted to visit because of you fatso!

Dudley begins crying.

Vernon Boy! You better shut your lips and tell the viper to move while I think of ways to make you look humiluated!

Harry Yes, Uncle Vernon.

The Dursley flock went over to another area.

Harry Sorry about him. He's just a stupid, ugly, dumb, fricken, 30 minutes later... and crappin fatso!

Snake moves up and looks at Harry.

Harry Did you just hear me?

Snake Hell yeah I did! You're a Parseltongue and oops! Forget Parseltongue.

Harry Sure thing! Wait for it... wait for it...IT'S GONE!

Snake Perfect. Now can you get me out of here!? I am supposed to be in Wonkaland!

Harry looks at a sign saying "This snake belongs in Wonkaland."

Harry Uh-

Dudley comes out of nowhere and pushes Harry down.

Dudley The snake moved! Sweet! Thank you God!

Harry gets mad because Dudley thanked God for when he moved the snake and got it talk to him. Suddenly the glass vanishes and Dudley falls in while the snake comes out.

Snake Thanks.

Harry Anytime.

Snake slithers everywhere scaring campers. When Dudley gets up he gets stuck in the glass wall. Petunia and Vernon sees him in there. Petunia screams.

Dudley Mum! Dad! Help! Help! Help me now!

Harry starts craking up. Vernon looks at him sternly.

In the Dursleys' house

Vernon What happened!?

Harry I just got mad at Dudley so I tried using some magic an-

Vernon throws Harry into his room.

Vernon There is no such things as magic!

Closes little opening.

Harry Sure there is! I just used it!


This chapter wasn't that funny but soon it gets really funny! Just wait! Okay!