Yeah, updated this one. Finally.
WARNING: There's a bit of Sasuke bashing in this chapter ^_^
Oh, and Shat3rdLooking-Glass, I know it's been a while since I updated so I wasn't sure if you still wanted to be my beta reader. Please PM me if you can still do it! (I'll try to write faster…I promise!)
A yawn escapes my mouth, sounding like a cross between a sigh and a burp. Which of the two it was more like, I have absolutely no idea. All I know is that it sounded cool but hurt like a bi-
"Wow! Who the hell are you?"
Eh?
Shocked, I turn around…not quite sure if I should have.
"You sure or an odd one. But hey," the boy before me gives a wide toothy grin, "who am I to talk?" He gives out a barking laugh, one so loud that my eardrums nearly bleed.
"Oh…" the shock of being confronted still running through my brain, I try to speak, "OH! Hi there! My name is Naruto Uzumaki! I just transferred!" I say, rubbing the back of my head to try and conceal my embarrassment.
The boy before me just smiles even wider, revealing a rather sharp pair of eyeteeth…kind of like…canines…
"S'cool. Have you been shown around yet?" he asks, genuinely wondering.
At least…what I think was genuinely wondering.
I've never really met someone that really cared.
Could this by my possible first friend!!!????
"Sure! Yeah! Totally! I mean…I would really like that…er…if you wouldn't mind…"
Great.
Now I am a stuttering idiot.
I can just imagine the scene playing out now. My could-have-been-friend/possibly-could-have-been-BEST-friend just looking at me, like I'm a doofus…which I kinda am…a sarcastic laugh bursting through his lungs and into the air where it would then try to murder me through slow torturous embarrassment.
What a way to go, right?
He better give me one last cup of ramen before I die. So help him GOD if he doesn't!
"Sweet! I had some time to kill anyway. Let's go." he said, waving me over to walk alongside him. That one single word kill makes me start preparing for anything.
He could be leading me to a hall filled with football jocks. No. No jock would hang out with him. Not to be mean or anything…he's just a little…weird. What with his sharp teeth and all… So if it's not jocks then it would have to be…
A paranoid thought makes its way across my tiny little brain.
"He's a cannibal." says the little thought, shoving all my sensible logic to the side (they didn't seem to like that much, and are grumbling like crazy, and I swear I heard the Be nice or he won't be your friend one just curse) "Why else would he have such long canine teeth!?"
"I don't know," I reply to the voice, "Maybe it's just a genetic flaw…maybe he inherited it from his parents…"
"He learned the act of cannibalism from his parents! He's gonna eat you! He's gonna rip apart your flesh and feast on it like a juicy bacon cheeseburger! Run for it, you good for nothing idiot! Run from the creep! RUN!"
"Okay, that's it!" I've finally reached my limit and prepare to punch that nasty little thought in the face, "You can call him a freak, you can call him a creep, you can call him a cannibal, but NO ONE compares MY flesh to the likes of a BACON CHEESEBURGER!!!!!!!! It's called ramen people! RAMEN! LEARN IT, DAMNIT!"
I continue thinking (what can I do, it's one of those things that just gets up and goes, whether you're with it or not) if he's not a cannibal…maybe he's not even human. Maybe he WAS human! MAYBE HE'S A ZOMBIE!!!!!!!!!! How was it you killed a zombie again? Separate the brain from the head? Cut off the head? Smash the head in? Jab the head? Oh who CARES! That head is GONE! Wait a second…they're dead humans…but since they're dead…does that even make them human? Are they a ghoul? A monster? A demon? Hrm…demons…that's an option too.
What looks like a human, acts like a human, draws humans in to feast of them…? Oh my God! HE'S A VAMPIRE! I smile. Well that's good. All I can say is vampires beware. I spit holy water and know the Lord's prayer by heart. They think garlic is bad? Wait until they get a whiff of one of my farts; silent, lethal, and powerful enough to kill a camel. Oh yeah. I'm good. Humans, cannibals, zombies, vampires…
Bring it.
"I'm Kiba, by the way." he says, completely shattering my very detailed/important/life preserving conversation with myself.
"Wha-"
"Kiba Inuzuka. Lover of dogs, lover of games, and you can always count on me to speak my mind, and I find you pretty cool."
Was that a wink I just saw?
Why are you winking at me, Kiba Inuzuka? Is there something in your eye? Did the wind catch an eyelash and plaster it perfectly and discretely in the sensitive pink flesh holding your eye? Please tell me there is a reason for this winkery. If not then…well, I may have to charge you a fine.
"You're a little bit on the loser side, but hey, welcome to the club."
Not sure whether he's insulting me or praising me, I do the only thing that anyone anywhere could possibly do during this situation.
Nod and smile.
As if your life depended on it; nod and smile!
"Is something wrong with your neck?" Kiba's gruff voice questions, his eyes looking at me in a way so that I couldn't help but get the feeling that he was becoming a little nervous around me.
Mission Nod and Smile: Fail
"You're pretty nervous about the new school ain't ya?" he says jokingly, running a hand through his tangled brown hair. "Don't worry, all you have to do is try to avoid catching the teacher's attention -they'll make you answer questions all the time if you do- try not to get food poisoning from the cafeteria food, and try to be on good terms with your roommate."
A fearful sound escapes my lips.
"I think I may have already done that. My roommate called me annoying…and glared at me."
Kiba quirks his eyebrow.
"Oh? And who's your roommate?"
What was it? Saucey? Sally? No, that's a girl's name. Sousuke, Sasouke, Saucegay…Sasuke.
Sasuke! That was it!
"Sasuke Uchiha."
My possible-new-friend stares at me.
"Sasuke Uchiha? Really?" he breathes, not believing what I had just said.
"…yeah?"
He smirks.
"Have you noticed anything…off… about him?"
Off?
Well…
"He did wear white shorts, kept his hair really nice, was reading about human analogy-"
"Anatomy." Kiba corrects.
"Yeah, that."
"Anything off about the way he acted…looked?"
So mean, making me remember someone I only saw once.
My forehead wrinkles in concentration.
"His voice was a little bit higher than what I thought it would have been, he was really edgy, and his skin was really smooth…soft. But…what about it?"
This is where he starts laughing again, trying to hide it, but failing completely.
"Dude, Sasuke Uchiha is gay."
"Hey! Everyone, this is Naruto. Naruto, this is everyone." Kiba jabs a thumb at me and everyone during their respectable times, as if that was enough of an introduction. "He's new here and is kinda freaked out."
"Damnit, that means we can't pull a mega prank on the kid." a boy with sandy brown hair growls.
"So troublesome." says the half-asleep boy next to him.
I look around.
Boy, boy, boy, boy, man teacher, old man, janitor man, boy, boy, boy…
I can't help but find myself asking, "Is this an all boy's school?"
That got their attention.
Everyone looks at me.
It's Kiba who finally speaks up (I get the feeling that he's the speaker of the group) "Yeah, this is the first year it's been like this though. It was co-ed last year, but they changed it. It's caused quite a bit of confusion. Most parents still think it's co-ed."
Changed?
"Why?"
The sandy boy speaks up now, "I heard it was because a male teacher and a female student were caught screwing in the detention room."
"Oh shut up, Kankurou, that's not how it happened." Kiba growls sarcastically, punching him in the arm. I can't tell if it was a friendly punch or a "Shut up" punch. It looked painful, but "Kankurou" took it with a wide grin plastered to his face.
Is this what friends do? Enjoy being beat by their friends? Returning the favor?
I would like to try that too…
"The school turned strictly for boys when the rumor that co-ed schools weren't as serious as single gendered schools started going around. Supposedly there were too many distractions, for both teachers and students alike, that kept them from focusing solely on their grades. This school was destined for change, there would be nothing we could do anyway."
An aggravated sigh chorusly makes its way throughout the table.
"You were going fine until you hit your destiny crap." Kankurou wails.
The "Destiny Boy" glares at him.
"Okay!" Kiba says, trying to break them up with a loud clap of his hands, "Guess who our new-bee has for a roommate?"
Was that a flir-ta-tious syllable separation I just heard there, Kiba? Were you preparing to spell out the word? Are we in a national spelling bee? Eh? Kiba? LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M HAVING AN IMAGINATIVE ONE-SIDED CONVERSATION WITH YOU, DAMNIT!
A quiet boy with creepy glasses turns toward us. "Rock Lee."
I have absolutely no idea who he is, but because of the laughs, shudders, and sickened faces making their ways throughout the table, I'm pretty sure I don't want to.
Seemingly excited by the topic, my canine friend smiles even wider, "Nope."
"Look, Kiba, if it's not Rock Lee then it's too troublesome to contemplate." the tired one yawns, "Just tell us already."
I look toward Kiba, who now looks like someone just kicked him…or his dog.
"Fine! Suck my joy away why don't ya! His roommate is Saucy-gay."
Wow! They came up with that conclusion too! And here I thought I was just pronouncing it wrong!
Kankurou, who had been drinking a bottle of water, proceeds to choke, spewing the liquid across the table and drenching "Destiny Boy" with the spit filled drink.
"Kankurou." he hisses, a menacing glare filling up his eyes, "I'm fated to kill you. Do not resent me. It was destiny." He leaps over the table in an attempt to strangle his tormenter to death.
Looking around, I see that everyone seems to have changed.
Kiba is in hysterics and wiping his eyes of tears from the fact of who my roommate was and the fact that "Destiny Boy" is strangling Kankurou enough so that he's turning blue.
I would be laughing too if it wasn't for a small little fact guiltily hanging in the back of my mind.
Was it okay to laugh at Sasuke just because he was gay? I mean, yes it's different, and kinda funny since he's at an all boy's school…but not something you would laugh about in public. He didn't choose to be like that. He didn't choose to feel the way he does.
I bite my tongue to hold back my protests.
Sasuke was a bastard. He deserves this punishment.
"Look, Naruto, as troublesome as it is, I'm going to give you some advice." the lazy one says…lazily.
Kiba lets out a shocked hiccup, "Shikamaru is going to give advice?" he dramatically "faints" landing on the floor in an awkward position.
"Yeah? Advice is good. I've never dealt with a…a…a…"
"A gay before." Kankurou finishes for me.
"Yeah…one of those."
"As I was saying," Shikamaru (what a cool name!) continues, completely ignoring his interruption, "just go with the flow. If he makes a move, leave. Ignore him and he'll find you uninteresting."
I nod.
Okay.
To be ignored you must pretend not to exist.
I can do that.
Hell, I've been doing that for the past sixteen years!
I slam my eyes close and take a deep, silent, breath.
I do not exist. I do not exist. Sasuke cannot see me. I am nothing to him. Sasuke is just a regular guy who I do not care about. I hardly know him. He hardly knows me. I shouldn't even be thinking excessively about him. What are the odds that he'll be next to me somewhere in this massive school of over eight hundred students? No, he is absolutely not-
"Hey, look!" Kankurou laughs, gasping as soon as he pried "Destiny Boy" off of him, "It's Sasuke!"
I open my eyes, startled with doubt, but sure enough, there was Sasuke.
His walk was confident yet relaxed, his shoulders somewhat hunched and his eyes glaring.
If I didn't know him, didn't try to resist the urge to punch him for his arrogance, and didn't have a slight fear that he was going to kill me, I might have actually thought he looked somewhat cool.
Okay, very cool.
Oh shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! my mind screams as he made his way over to where I was sitting.
I slam my eyes closed again.
Don't do something embarrassing to me. Please don't do something embarrassing to me!
Nothing.
When I open my eyes again I realize that Sasuke had completely ignored my existence, and had walked strait over to the table next to us.
I heard him clear his throat.
"Itachi! I've come here as a challenge to you! This is the day I defeat you once and for all!"
A rather scary looking upperclassman stops whatever conversation he was having with a sickly blue looking boy with sharp teeth, and turns around to face his opponent.
As soon as he sees him his face contorts into one of anger, and his eyes fill with a glare of rage.
I gulp.
This upperclassman had long black hair pulled back into a ponytail, and the scariest eyes I've ever seen.
"I didn't expect to see you here, little brother." he says harshly.
He stands right up to my roommate, and begins to…
O.O
Wow.
That's just…
I try to muffle a laugh with my hand, but it escapes between my fingers.
Sasuke Uchiha, in all his narcissistically/egotistic glory, has been thrown over the shoulder of this upperclassman. It wouldn't be half as funny, but because Sasuke (in all his princely prissiness) has started beating against this scary boy's back while trying to kick him like in the tantrums of a little girl, it makes one want to SCREAM hilariousness!
"You put me down Itachi! You put me down this instant!"
"It seems that I have some business to attend to with this underclassmen. You'll have to excuse me." The one called Itachi says politely to the people at the table, yet loud enough for the whole room to hear. With those words said, he begins to make his way out of the cafeteria, Sasuke yelping and whining in protest the whole way.
"Haha! He did it again!" Kankurou wails, slamming his hand noisily against the table.
"Did what again?" I ask confused, blinking a couple times to make me look innocent (a trick I learned from my old caretaker, Iruka. With it is the power to get away with asking ANY question! CHA-CHING!) Luckily someone answers my simple question.
"Every single day that annoying Uchiha challenges Itachi to a challenge in hopes of beating him. I would never do it. It's too troublesome. I went to the same middle school as them, it happened everyday at lunch. Today is the first day it happened here. So ridiculous…" Shikamaru yawns, his head collapsing to the table, immediately falling asleep afterwards.
This time "Destiny Boy" has a tidbit to add too.
"Itachi Uchiha has been deemed the most successful prodigy this school has ever seen. It was his destiny that he come here. Now his little brother has appeared, fated to always come in second."
"Neji! Shut up with the destiny slash fate crap! It's annoying!"
"Destiny Boy" er…Neji, crosses his arms in front of his chest in an X fashion.
"I refuse."
"DAMN YOU NEJI!" Kankurou lunges onto the boy, shoving his hands in his mouth and stretching the skin beyond its limits.
He looks kinda like he's made of rubber.
He must use moisturizer.
I nod my head with the thought. Yes, it must be moisturizer.
"ENOUGH YOU TWO!" Kiba yells after Neji got his rather feminine looking nails lodged into his sandaled feet. "YOU ARE SO IMMATURE!"
Not even a second later the two are sitting back in their original spots; both looking glum.
"Thank you." Kiba says, sitting down next to them.
I stand at the end, somewhat enjoying what has played out, somewhat saddened that I wasn't asked to sit by anyone. But still…
"NEJI! GET YOUR HAND OFF MY THIGH!"
Neji looks appalled. "Even if I was fated to have to place my hand on your thigh, I would fight that fate and try to change my destiny. AND I MEAN IT! YOU DISGUSTING OLD MAN!"
This immediately starts another fight between the two.
I let my gaze wander around, casually letting it drop onto Kiba. I get this knowing feeling that he was the culprit. My accusation of him being so is allowed to leak across my face. (Why bother to hide it, right? It's called freedom of expression people! FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION!) Kiba says nothing, he just returns my stare. He doesn't even bother to speak.
He just winks.
Making this clear once again, I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST GAYS!
About two days of Christmas vacation left *depression* So I'll try to write more tomorrow (but I'm not promising anything)
READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!
