Disclaimer: Characters and situations belong to the fantastical Joss Whedon.

A/N: So this was originally going to be a two-parter.. now it looks like its becoming three. I divided the best moments into two parts. This first half here, are during her days on the Hellmouth. So, expect spoilers of the whole series. Some moments include dialogue from the show, and others are made up.

The B/A is coming soon!


Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

~Oscar Levant

1.

Can I have you? ...... uhhh. can I help you?

Thanks.

I don't know you, do I?

I'm Buffy. I'm new.

Xander... is.. is me. Hi.

*

Hello? Is anybody here? .... oh, anybody's here!.... I was looking for some, well, books. I'm new.

Miss Summers?

Good call! Guess i'm the only new kid, huh?

I'm Mr. Giles. The librarian. I was told you were coming.

*

Uh, Hi! Willow right?

Why? I-I mean, hi! Uh, did you want me to move?

Why don't we start with "Hi, I'm Buffy", and uh, then let's segue directly into me asking you for a favor. It doesn't involve moving but it does involve hanging out with me for a while.

*

Ah, heh. Is there a problem, ma'am?

Yeah, there's a problem. Why are you following me?

I know what you're thinking. Don't worry, I don't bite.

Her tenure on the Hellmouth had never been easy. She could easily say it had been the hardest 7 years of her life. Though she'll also admit that, her first year there, compared to the rest of them, had been the easiest of them all. Easy was perhaps the wrong term to use to describe her time in Sunnydale, manageable might have been a little better. So, year one on the Hellmouth, had had it's moments. Meaning, Buffy could still remember that year as being relatively carefree, innocent. Simple. Well, as simple as the life of a slayer can be anyways. The simplicity had been brief, but sweet. Because those moments had included four specific people: Xander and Willow, her two best friends in the world; Giles, the man she'd truly considered as her father; and Angel, her vampire with a soul, whom oddly enough, Buffy being a slayer after all, had managed to steal her heart.

Buffy knows, that had it not been for them, she might not have lasted as long as she had. Because of them she hadn't been alone in her duty. She hadn't been JUST the slayer, she became a friend, confidant, apprentice, daughter, companion, lover, the list was endless. She had experienced life in all its glory, pain and suffering; a given. But also the happiness and fulfillment that only a life filled with love could give.

So, meeting them that fateful day, had changed her life forever.

2.

"That looks like an ugly dog... I kinda like him." Dawn commented as she pointed at the hyena standing under a tree in the distance.

"I'd hardly call it a dog. More like ferocious beast..." Buffy gave an involuntary shiver on remembering when Xander got possessed by one. Which in turn, gave her another idea. "Did you know that hyenas prey on the weak? So, you're like, part of their diet."

"Buffy." Joyce spoke in that "do not continue" tone of voice that only moms have.

"Ok, ok." Buffy pouted, then under her breath added, "I was just having a little fun." Joyce continued on walking, missing the moment when Dawn stuck her tongue out at Buffy. Expected, though. This was Dawn after all. "How could you like him? He's... clearly nothing to like there." Dawn was so strange, always liking the opposite of what everyone around her did. After the 'Xander becomes a hyena' episode, as she liked to call it, they'd always given her the wiggins. Which was probably why Dawn liked them.

"It's because of that, that I like him. Nobody appreciates hyenas, everybody hates them, so I have to like them. Balance out the scale some."

"You're so weird." Shaking her head, Buffy continued on down the path. This time, the obligatory calling of her name by Joyce hadn't happened, as she had missed Buffy's last comment. She had walked on ahead, knowing how her daughters could be, and had decided to stay out of it.

"Am not!.. besides, isn't that like the pot calling the kettle black? You being the pot, and me the much cuter kettle."

"Kettles aren't cute." Buffy turned back towards her little sister as she spoke, who was walking slightly behind her. A look of disbelief on her face. Was she really discussing the cuteness of inanimate objects?

"They're way cuter than pots, thats for sure." Dawn smiled to herself, proud of her ability to come up with clever remarks to her big sisters teasing.

"Ok, this is by far the silliest argument you two have had all day." The girls hadn't noticed Joyce, who had paused ahead of them, with her hands perched at her sides and a slight smile plastered on her face. They both smiled at her at the same time, "We're just having some fun" Buffy reiterated, while the littlest Summers quipped, "Don't worry Mom, i've got her beat."

Buffy raised her eyebrow at Dawn quizzically, "You SO do not. I'm the queen of punning remember? Besides, Mom interrupted my witty retort. I was coming back at you with... with... well, it's slipped my mind at the moment due to unscheduled interruptions, but it was good. A stumper, even."

"... suuuuuuuure it was." Dawn tapped her sister's shoulder in mock sincerity. She loved it when she could banter with Buffy, in good fun. It wasn't often that she could outclever Buffy, so she was enjoying this moment.

Joyce smiled at her daughters, and wrapped one arm around each of them as they reached her, "How about it we call it even, and I treat you both to some icecream?"

"YEEEEAAAH!" Both sisters squealed at the same time.

It had been a simple outing at the zoo, just the Summer's girls: Joyce, Dawn, and Buffy. Yet, it had been one of her best days. Her and Dawn had gotten along so well that day, just simple teasing with all the sibling rivalry seemingly forgotten. Meaningless banter between two sisters. A day filled with hugs and smiles from her mother. Just a mom and daughters day. Buffy had loved it. In her complicated life, Buffy treasured these quiet, normal moments. When she was just a daughter and sister, having a fun day at the zoo.

This moment was all the sweeter after her mother had died. Buffy felt lucky to have had it. She remembered this day, because it had truly been a family kodak moment. Excluding the father figure, but that hadn't detracted from it at all. Nope, Joyce was all they had needed. As a single parent, she had been mom AND dad, and she was great at it. Sure, they had their altercations, all three of them, but what family didn't?

So, when Joyce was gone, and Buffy was having a hard day, either because of life itself, or taking care of pubescent Dawn (which was always hard), she'd think of this day, and she could almost feel the warmth of Joyce's embrace, see the love in her eyes, and she felt solaced by it. She could look back and remember how well her and Dawn had gotten along, and it made the more difficult Dawn days, easier to bear.

Buffy would always treasure this seemingly ordinary day, because the feelings it brought, were anything but.

3.

"Whew! I'm glad we're taking a break from shaking what our momma's gave us. I am soo parched." Xander plopped down at the table, and quickly grabbed his beverage and took a long sip. "Aaaaaaahhhh....Lemonade, that cool refreshing drink!" He sang in an Elvis toned voice.

Buffy and Willow both raised an inquisitive eyebrow at him. As neither of them had a clue what he was talking about.

"Hellooooo... Eddie Murphy, Delirious?" He jestured to them, clearly thinking they'd get it. Then dissapointment crossed his face as he realized they had no clue. "Only, like one of the best stand up comedy shows, like EVER. Where have you two been, living under a rock?"

"Nope, a Hellmouth. Well, over technically. But it keeps me pretty occupied most days." Buffy said, nonchalantly. Also sipping from her can of coke.

"Fine... i'll let it slide this time.... what about you Willow?... wait, I can see that it's probably really not your thing. Too obscene for my Willow. And no doubt, the Rosenberg 'rents have some reservations about it. " Xander wrapped an arm around Willow and gently squeezed her.

"Hey, I resent that! I'm into the swearing and crude jokes.... I can be bad, break the rules! " This time, Buffy and Xander gave Willow a doubtful look. "Ok.. fine. I don't, but I could!"

"We know, Willow, we know." Xander smiled condescendingly, "You're one tough cookie... but truly, gals, you are missing out on some serious funny." Willow smiled at him, he seemed to have missed the oxymoron that left his lips.

"Oh, perhaps, but we have you. Enough funny there to last us a life time." Buffy winked at her other friend, ribbing Xander a little on Willow's behalf.

"I don't know if I should thank you, or be offended. And by that little exchange, I think it's the latter." He motioned to the them both, catching the exchange between the girls. He stood up, "Fine, fine. Pick on Xander.. I'm just trying to enrich your lives.. but suit yourselves." With that, he turned to walk away.

"Xander!" Both girls ran after him, and wrapped their arms around him. He smiled triumphantly. Proud to have elicited the reaction he had hoped for.

"I saw that." Willow poked him in the ribs, and Xander jerked. "I know the way your sick mind works. You're just lucky we both like hugging you."

Another simple life moment. Hanging out at the Bronze, or anywhere really, with her two bestest friends, were more moments Buffy loved. Her relationship with them was, almost undescribable. She had the best kind of friendship with them. It was genuine, honest. They knew who she really was, and stood by her. Even saved her neck a few times. They could talk about anything with each other, and sometimes they'd disagree, or fight, but they always worked through it. That's how she knew it would last forever. Granted, she'd had her doubts, but she realized that she'd never give up on them, and they wouldn't either.

They were more than just her friends, they were family. Her backbone, one of the few constants in her life. And Buffy didn't want to picture her life without them, and she was glad she never had to.

4.

Buffy walked down the steps of her basement, and Spike stood to face her.

"Room still occupied, then?" He said to try and lighten the mood. For a reason he couldn't explain, he sensed some finality in this moment. Perhaps it was the impending doom of the next day, which he also sensed would be his last. And he was fine with that, he realized.

"You know that's not why i'm here" Buffy began, not catching onto his tone.

"I'm just teasing, love. But even if that were the case, you know I wouldn't mind."

Buffy dropped her head, a slight blush covering her cheeks. She took a few tentative steps towards him. "Let's not, ok? It might possibly be my last night, and yours too I might add, so I could do without the banter portion of our conversations. If I die tomorrow..." Spike opened his mouth to interrupt, but at a look from her, he closed it again. ".. it's a possibility, let's face it. So if I do, I'd like tonight to be, what it should be."

He raised his eyebrow, skeptically. "And that would be what?"

"Uncomplicated. I know, we're definitely not that, but this moment should be. Just you and me. Apocalypse momentarily forgotten. Just now." Spike closed the space between them, and gently reached out and cupped her face.

"I'd really like that." He stated simply looking into the moss green of her eyes and fully trying to obey her wishes. He dropped his hand from her face, and grabbed her hand and intertwined his fingers with hers.

She gave him a simple smile, and gripped his hand firmly in hers. "Good."

She loved him. Not in the way he had wanted, but she did. Their relationship was one of the most honest ones she'd ever had. He understood her, in a way no one ever had. At first, it had been wrong. She couldn't deny that, but she had come to terms with it. It would always be a part of their tormented past. She wouldn't ever take it back though, because she knows that if they hadn't had it, he wouldn't have grown into the man he had been that night.

And how he'd grown. At first, he was a monster, undeniably. Then, an animal on a leash. After that, a lovesick villian on a leash, but finally, he was a man. True, she had seen it in him, before the soul, but with it, he was truly something to behold. But she couln't fall IN love with him. There had been too much affliction, and nothing would change that. Some bridges just couldn't be crossed. She'd never say he didn't deserve her love, because he did and more. Part of her knows she'd have been lucky to love him in that way, and that part of her had even tried to. But you can't choose who you love, a fact she was painstakingly aware of.

But this night, she had forgotten all that. All their woes and issues had been put aside, and they had just savoured the night. She wasn't capable of a physical relationship with him, not anymore, but she could lie in his arms, and feel like she belonged there.

So, Spike owned a piece of her, and she couldn't deny it. She was even glad of it.

5.

"The First is scrunched, so... what do you think we should do, Buffy?" Willow turned to her best friend in honest curiosity.

"Yeah, you're not the one and only chosen anymore. Just gotta live like a person. How's that feel?" Faith chose to voice the thought that had been running through her own mind. She had hardly been the chosen, well, the chosen BAD one, but she knew that for Buffy, this was a chance. At the normal life she knew her slayer sister had always wanted.

"Yeah, Buffy. What are we gonna do now?" Dawn quipped in, finally sensing that she too was part of the 'we', no longer the kid of the Scooby gang, and she enjoyed that feeling.

A smile planted itself on Buffy's face, as the implications of Faith's words settled in. Here was her chance at normal, would she take it?

"I don't know." She finally responded, to both of them and herself too.. "And for once, it's kinda nice." She walked over to the sign, that had fallen inside the giant crater that was once Sunnydale, her responsibility over it, finally over. She grabbed it, and pulled it apart from the metal pole it was attached to. As glad as she was, that it was finally over, she didn't want to forget it all. Technically, it would be all she had left. She turned back to the others.

"First things first. Let's get out of this heat."

They all eyed the big 'Welcome To Sunnydale' sign she carried in her arms. She shrugged, "Keepsake."

"Sort of like, I closed the hellmouth, saved countless lives, and all I got was this lousy sign?" Xander commented in his classic style as they all headed back to the school bus. Buffy gave him a smile she couldn't help.

"Precisely."

The weight of the Hellmouth had been lifted off her shoulders. They had faced incredible odds, lost more than their share of great people, but had ultimately been victorious. For the first time in her life, she finally felt free. She knew she had responsibilties still, she'd always be a slayer, but she wasn't the only one anymore. Sure, there was an arduous future ahead of her, but she had one. A future. She had survived the mouth of Hell. And she knew then, that someday, she could hang up her stake, figuratively speaking, and live a life free from demons and vampires, if she had wanted to. Even at that moment, she saw the possibilities of it already. If she wanted to, she could see the world that had been denied to her for so long. She had choices, options. Something she had never really had before. Of course, that would take time no doubt, organizing an army of slayers would be hard work, but it would be nothing compared to what she had lived through for seven years.

And then, there was her self discovery. Or her baking, as she had put it that other day. She felt like she could finally do that. She knew who she was, when it came to her slayerness, but everyday Buffy, who was she? She relished in the ability to finally be able to find out. And she would. Of that, she was confident.

***

"Buffy!"

She snapped her head foreward at the sound of Dawn's irritated voice. "We're here! Jeez.... stay in the now, would you?" Dawn shook her head at Buffy and stepped down off the bus. Sometimes, Buffy had the feeling that Dawn could read her mind. She knew Dawn didn't have a clue how appropriate her comment was, as Buffy really had been reminiscing the past. They had bordered the bus, and as she stared out the window at the empty desert surrounding her, she got lost in her memories. She felt the need to recall some specific moments of her past, some bad, the worst really, and the few good ones she had. It was probably because she was just beginning a new chapter of her life, and she wanted to summerize her life so far, so to speak, and finally put the past behind her. Not forget it, no. That was impossible. Just acknowledge the immensity of it, or something along those lines.

She got off the bus, and saw the shabby Motel the rest of the gang where about to walk into. This might be something she'd like to pretend never happened.


K, I know i've said I wouldn't do a B/S pairing, but I couldn't deny the importance of that night, and Buffy's relationship with Spike. But, it wasn't really a pairing, if you consider what I said. And, I love Spike, I really do. His devotion to her, and her belief in him is so achingly sweet, I felt compelled to write about it. And I may do so again.

Oh, and I absolutely concur with Xander about Delirious. Some serious funny there. If you haven't seen it, I suggest you watch it.. unless you have an aversion to swear words, and gritty situations. Or are too young for it.

A/N PART II: So, the next half of her list will have a slightly different style. Including the last blurb, which is kind of explanatory. But, i'll reiterate anyways. So far, everything has been her remembering then commenting on what she thought of it and how she had felt. The last 5, will just be the moments, no reflections after, like real time. They're happening as they are being told. And they'll be potentially longer as well. I'm feeling very inspired it seems!

Hope you're enjoying, and please review!

Thanks everyone who is reading!