Authors Note: So...I was out and about yesterday and I was listening to my playlist when THIS song came on, and it gave me major Yousana feels.


Yousef,

I don't really know why I'm writing this. I guess I just wanted to get some stuff off my chest. First of all, I want to say I'm sorry. Letting you guys walk into that club, knowing that Even was there, was probably not the best idea I've ever had. I just had this stupid thought...that maybe if you guys saw how happy he is now, how he is thriving in his new relationship, that you could get over what guilt you might still have. I saw it on your face that night in the park. And I wanted to tell you. I wanted to tell you that he is one of my friends. I wanted to tell you that he misses you too. Isak, Even's boyfriend, is my biology partner. He is one of the sweetest people I have ever met, and he struggled a lot this last year, but meeting Even helped him.

You know that Even is Bipolar...and about two months after they met, Even had a manic episode. I don't know a lot of the details, but in the end, they came out of it stronger then ever. Because that is what you do for the people that you love. You stick around and fight through the problems. They are stupidly in love with each other, and just recently moved in together.

I don't know what started the fight or who said what, but I know that it ended with Isak's blood literally on my hands. It haunts me, because it could have all been prevented. If I had just kept my mouth shut.

A lot of things happened that night, and I feel like my world has shifted.

I was kicked off my Russ, because I am Muslim, and at the same time I lost all of my friends. It hurt a lot, because I tried so hard to fit in and be there for everyone, and at the same time remember my faith and what it means to me.

The one thing that hurt me the most though, was you.

I have been struggling for a long time, dealing with my feelings for you.

Here was this guy, and he's been friends with my brother for years. And, he's beautiful and funny and he always smiles at me whenever he see's me. He dances like a nerd when nobody is watching and he completely adores his friends.

He makes my heart pound when he gets close and I miss him when he's not around.

He feels guilt for lost friends, and he picks me flowers.

He walks me home in the dark and forgets his words.

He makes me want to rethink my faith. Because how could someone who makes me feel this good, be wrong for me?

And then he kisses my best friend.

After I cried for a while, I started to feel like a fool. Because you never promised me anything. We never had any conversations about what we could be to each other. And so how could I feel so betrayed when you kissed her? She is everything that a guy like you could want. Noora is beautiful and sweet, and she respects everyone. The last guy she was with broke her heart, and I think you could be the perfect guy for her.

So, to stop my rambling, I will just say this.

Just know that I want you to be happy.

So I am going to let go. I have to.

-Sana

This time, when Sana sent the e mail, she curled up on her bed and cried. She cried for what could have been, and what will never be. She hadn't been to school the whole week, having told her mom she caught the flu. She just wasn't ready yet. She wasn't ready for the questions from her friends, or the black eye that Isak was sure to have.

Just a few more days, and then she would pull herself together and get on with her life.

Sana stood from her bed and wiped the tears from her eyes. A nice long shower is what she needed. With clean clothes and towel in hand, Sana opened the door to her room and then slammed it closed again.

"Sana?" Yousef said, through the door.

This cannot be happening.

"Sana, can I please talk to you?"


End Note:Let me know what you think?